Chapter Twenty-Seven
Jaxon
Going bareback was possibly the stupidest decision I’ve ever made in my short adult life. I knew I was being dumb, even in that moment. But seeing the look on Annika’s face and the desperation that was rolling off her like waves, I understood what she needed. I understood why it was important. So I gave her the only thing I could in that moment. I gave her me.
I wasn’t totally off my rocker. Was it stupid? Yes. But risky? Not as much as it could have been. That’s one of the other long-term side effects of chemo. There’s almost no chance that I can have kids. It’s possible, but considering all the other issues I have in that area, I figure there’s a good chance I’ll be saving up for a sperm donor someday.
Not that Annika having my baby would be the worst thing to ever happen to me. Shit, the whole situation got me thinking about how much I wish that would happen someday. Not when I’m in college and twenty-one years old. Hell no. But someday. I’m pretty sure she’s my one. In fact, I’m positive she’s my one. There’s not one else out there like her.
In that moment, while it was stupid, I also knew the worst thing that could happen is our future being bumped up by a few years.
And I admit, when she called me a few days later to tell me she started her period, I breathed a sigh of relief. I didn’t let her know that. She’s been back and forth with her emotions lately so I calmly said, “Okay.” And let it go. No feeling happy that she wasn’t pregnant. No feeling sad that she wasn’t pregnant. Just “okay.”
But now, as I sit here staring at the envelope in my hands, I’m thinking about my family all over again and wondering how bad I want those fertility treatments someday. My opinion might sway if I’m the last Bryant after all.
“Why are you staring holes in the mail?” Germaine asks, looking up from his desk where he’s been studying. “You look like it’s done something to offend you.”
“It may have,” I mumble, not taking my eyes off it.
“What do you mean by that?” He wheels his fancy office chair he brought from home over and snatches the envelope out of my hand before I can react. Whistling slowly through his teeth, he looks up at me. “DNA results are back. That was fast.”
I puff out a sigh and run my hands through my hair. “I paid for the rush shipping. I didn’t expect it to rush that fast.”
Over Thanksgiving, while we were out, Kade and I talked about doing a DNA test, to put all the questions to rest. Not because we doubted his paternity, but because we both knew how it looked. For fourteen, he’s pretty astute in his observations. I guess that happens when no one pays much attention to you. You learn how to people watch. And somehow, he knew showing up on my doorstep would have everyone freaked out.
Everyone in my life anyway. I still don’t know if his mom has any idea I’m around.
Germaine hands it back to me and prods, “Well? Are you going to open it?”
I bite my lip and contemplate his question. “I don’t know that I want to know.”
“Care to explain why?”
“What if it says he’s my brother? What if it’s positive? That means my dad had an affair and that baby was left to fend for himself. My brother was left to fend for himself.”
“You can’t think about it that way, man.” Germaine crosses his arms over his chest and swivels his chair back and forth. “You’ve got to think of it like you’ve got fourteen years to make up for, and you’re off to a good start. Besides, what if it’s negative?”
“That’s the other thing I’m worried about. What if he’s not my brother?”
Germaine shrugs. “Then he’s not your brother. Problem solved.”
But it’s not problem solved. He’s still fourteen. He still has no one. “I don’t know.” I rub the top of my head again. “I don’t know what I want the test to say.”
“It’s a tough one, that’s for sure. But the first step, man, is actually opening the envelope.”
I think about it for a second, but I know what I need to do. Pulling out my phone, I dial his number.
“Hey man? What’s going on?” Kade says excitedly on the other end of the line.
“Hey, not much. How’s school going?”
“Good. Good! Remember that girl, Melissa? The one in my computer class?”
I chuckle, remembering how he thinks she’s the most beautiful girl in the world, but she won’t give him the time of day. I’m hoping now that he’s discovered the Axe Body Spray line, things are going better for him. “Sure do. You got an update?”
“She talked to me in class.” He sounds thrilled by this turn of events, and I can’t help but smile for him. “I mean, it was just to ask for my help, but dude. She knew I’d know the answer. That means she knows I’m smart, right?”
I chuckle again. “Yeah she does. You’re not invisible anymore. Just don’t overdo it with the cologne.”
“Hell yeah! I don’t know why no one told me about this stuff before.”
I clear my throat, and while I have the nerve I blurt out, “Our test results came in.”
He goes silent on the other end for a few moments. “What did it say?” I can tell his excitement has turned into nerves. He sounds kind of like I feel.
“I haven’t opened it up yet. I thought maybe we should do it on the phone. Together.”
“Yeah. Yeah, good idea.” He blows out a deep breath, and I can practically hear him stretching his neck as he prepares himself. “Okay. Let’s rip the Band-Aid off. What does it say?”
Taking my own deep breath, I slide my finger under the lip of the envelope. I can see Germaine watching me as I pull out the letter that’s been folded into thirds and open it. I don’t even skip ahead, just read it aloud.
“In the interest of Jaxon Bryant Hart and Kayden Austin Maxwell DNA with 99.9% accuracy is NOT a match.”
Kade gasps and my heart plummets. Not a match. We’re not a match. He’s not my brother. I look up at Germaine who is sitting there open-mouthed, shock on his face.
All three of us sit in silence as we try to wrap our brains around what I just read. Kade and I are not brothers. With 99.9% accuracy, we are not brothers.
Am I happy about that? I don’t know. My responsibility to the situation is over, so maybe.
But once again, I’m the last remaining Bryant.
I don’t know how to feel.
“But…” Kade says, clearly as stunned at I am, “but his name is on my birth certificate.”
I know I’m shaken up by this news, but I only knew about the possibility for a few weeks. I hadn’t really gotten attached the idea of it. But Kade, this kid, not only did he just lose the brother he thought he had for his entire life, he just lost the only man he knew as his father. And it happened in two seconds flat.
“I don’t know man. I don’t know how this happened.”
“She…she told me he was my dad.”
I can hear his emotion rising, and I can’t think what to say except, “Are you okay?”
“No, I’m not okay!” His voice cracks with emotion. “For my entire life, I thought my dad wasn’t around because he was dead. But really, it’s because some asshole out there doesn’t want me.”
I can practically hear the tears in his voice, and my heart is ripped to shreds.
“You don’t know that, Kade. He might not know.”
“Oh, I’m sure he knows.” He sniffs. “If you met my mom, she’s not shy. I’m sure everyone within a hundred-mile radius knew the second she found out she was having me.”
“Listen, man,” I lower my voice, trying to calm him down, “this doesn’t change anything between you and me.”
The sobbing on the other end of the line breaks my heart.
“But it does, Jaxon. It’s okay, you don’t have to have anything to do with me anymore. I won’t bother you again—”
“No, Kade. Wait! Don’t you hang up that phone.”
Germaine is still looking at me, waiting to see how I’ll handle this, and I know he can tell it’s gotten emotional on the other end. Hell, with as emotional as Kade is, I wouldn’t be surprised if he can hear it clear across the room.
“Listen to me. We might not share DNA, but we share a connected history. Regardless of what this test says, my dad and your mom had an affair, and you were born. That means something. I don’t know what other men were involved, but I know what it’s like to lose your dad. I lost mine when I was five. Right now, what you’re feeling, is because you just lost yours.”
His sobs continue, and now my own eyes are filled with tears. Damn. Can things get any crazier around here?
“Don’t you dare disappear on me, Kade, okay?” I plead. “I come home all the time, and I’m still gonna see you. We’re still gonna go out. No one has to know this. No one. You and me, we can keep it a secret.”
“Why?” he asks. “Why would you do that for me? My own father doesn’t want me.”
“Because you’re worth it, Kade. Because we’re this close to getting that Melissa girl to notice you.”
Germain chuckles and swivels his chair back around, turning his attention back to his studies.
“I don’t care what this test says. You’re still my brother.”
“Yeah,” he says quietly with a sniffle. “Yeah, okay. No one has to know yet. Just let me wrap my brain around this first.”
“Okay.”
“Listen, um, I think I need to go, like, drown my sorrows in a game of Halo. I’m gonna let you go, okay?”
“Yeah.” I wipe the tears out of my eyes. “But you call me when Melissa talks to you again okay?”
“Okay. Thanks Jaxon.”
We hang up, and I drop my phone to the floor, digging the heels of my hands in my eyes. Someday, I’ll have to tell my dad about this. Someday.
But today, I’m going to pretend it didn’t happen. Today, Kade is still my brother.