Chapter 9

Logan had to be one of the few true gentlemen left in the world. Possibly, others like him existed. Maybe they lived in Texas. Jen hadn’t spent much time there. However, she’d met enough men to know this one was special. By some miracle, he cared about her, and he wanted to deepen the relationship.

Jen splayed her fingers over his back, loving his solidness and how secure she felt when she was with him. She adored his slow drawl and even slower lovemaking, his quick wit, and easy-going personality. She wanted nothing more than to say yes, and take the leap.

Only, there were obstacles beyond her irrational fears. She longed to listen to her heart, but she’d better heed her common sense.

“What are your plans for the future, Logan? I thought you wanted to go back to school and become a vet.”

“I do. But we can work around that.” He slid his fingers through her hair, stroking. If she remained in his arms for much longer, she wouldn’t be able resist taking him to bed again. After that, the bonds between them would be tighter, stronger. She already feared they might be too strong to cut without permanent injury.

“What if we can’t work around it? I’m settled in Atlanta. You said you plan to finish your schooling at Texas A&M. I don’t see how this can work if we’re in different states.”

She hated how logical and cold she sounded. He’d opened his heart to her, and he had asked her to do the same. She would have to go into this relationship without guarantees, only his assurance. “If there’s a baby, and things don’t work out, our child would be the one who suffers most. I can’t take the chance.”

He tightened his embrace. “I won’t abandon you and the baby. That’s a promise.”

“You can’t make a promise like that when you don’t know for certain what will happen.”

“We’ll figure it out. Together.”

She knew he meant it. But believing in his sincerity and being able to stake her life on it were two different things. She extracted herself from his arms.

He didn’t look pleased. “You don’t believe me?”

No, she was terrified he might actually convince her.

“I believe you’re sincere. But you aren’t looking at this logically.”

“I’m not accepting your excuses. There’s a difference.”

“You aren’t being practical.” She hated being practical, except she didn’t see that she had much choice. “This isn’t some chick flick or romance novel where everything magically works out in spite of insurmountable differences.”

He closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead. “I’m not suggesting believing in fairy tales. I know it won’t be easy.”

Tears burned behind her eyes. If she started crying, he’d hold her again, and she didn’t have the strength to push him away. She blinked until the moisture cleared and forced neutrality into her voice. “Am I giving you a headache?”

Logan dropped his arm. His expression remained solemn. Normally, he’d be the one cracking a joke right about now. Fatigue had etched deep lines on his face. His eyes reflected sadness...and pain. “Don’t do this, Jen. Don’t talk yourself out of it.”

She whirled away before giving in to the overwhelming desire to throw her arms around him. He was hurting, and she was the cause. That’s why this couldn’t last. She refused to continue to wound him because she was too scared to love him. It would tear both of them apart.

Crossing to the kitchen desk, she took an envelope from one of the cubbyholes. She returned and held it out. At least she could help him fulfill his dream. “Here’s what I promised. Go back to Texas and become a vet. If, after that, you still want to work things out, we’ll give it a try.”

He flicked a look at the envelope. Disbelief flashed in his eyes, and then his gaze went flat. “Keep it...or put it in a college fund for junior.”

Logan spun on his heel and left. The sliding door remained open, but he wouldn’t be back. She would bet on it.

Jen bit her knuckle. She had to do something to distract herself from the excruciating pain. Oh God, it hurt. She’d done the right thing by sending him away, hadn’t she? Before he could hurt her, and before she hurt him even more than she already had.

Liar.

She hadn’t done it because it was right, or even logical. She’d pushed Logan away because she was a coward. The idea of loving him scared her to death.

But didn’t she already love him? Avoiding it was like trying to avoid raindrops when it rained. The skies had opened. Logan had pried her fingers from around the handle of her umbrella, taking away her false security, offering to be her shelter. She had thrown away her one chance at true happiness because she was afraid of getting wet.

Jen rushed out the back door to catch him before he made it to the neighbor’s yard. Letting him go wasn’t right or smart, and would be the stupidest mistake she ever made. She had to stop him, beg him for another chance.

She ran off the patio and threw the gate open. “Logan! Wait!”

A flash of black and white flashed in her peripheral vision. Her dog bounded into the front yard, tail waving, looking around expectantly.

“Freckles, stop!”

At the sidewalk, the dog jerked to an abrupt halt, her attention focused on something across the street. A squirrel. Of course, what else? The oblivious little creature was furiously digging beneath a thick-limbed oak tree.

From the neighboring driveway, a car engine roared to life. A gleaming gray sedan backed into the street. One of the wedding guests was leaving early. Freckles had no fear of cars, and wouldn’t notice it anyway, her attention being fastened on the squirrel.

Jen wobbled as she ran. Damn heels. She kicked off her shoes. “Freckles, sit!”

The dog might obey that command. She got treats when she sat.

Not today.

Freckles took off as if shot from a cannon and ran across the street, chasing the squirrel around the base of the tree. She braced her paws on the trunk when her prey dashed into the branches, chattering, and her white-tipped tail went into a wagging frenzy.

What was it about squirrel behavior that made her think they wanted to play?

“Stay!”

The last command penetrated the dog’s one-track mind, but instead of staying put, the foolish mutt pranced toward the road, panting with satisfaction. The driver wouldn’t see her dart out from between the cars, which were parked on both sides of the street.

Up until this point, Jen hadn’t panicked. Now, all bets were off.

“No! Stay! Stay!”

A tall figure dashed past her. Logan, in his formal suit, sprinted into the road, waving his arms at the car, yelling at the driver. What did he think he was doing?

“You idiot! Stop!” Jen screamed at the driver, at Logan...even at the dog.

Tires screeched—too late. A sickening thud, followed by Logan tumbling over the hood, stopped her heart. She stared in horror at the car, no longer able to see Logan. Was he on the other side? Oh, God, under the tires?

With a loud cry, she broke into a dead run. “No, no, no! Please God, no...”

The car door swung open and out leapt a well-dressed man with a shocked expression.  “What the...?” Loud music throbbed from the car’s interior. No wonder the driver hadn’t heard Logan shouting.

She raced around the car.

Thank God, Logan was up, sitting back on his heels. He looked dazed, but not seriously injured. Relief hit so hard it buckled her knees. She knelt next to him, longing to drag him into her arms, to hold him and never let him go. But if he was injured, jostling him might cause more damage.

She laid a trembling hand on his shoulder. “Logan—” Her voice broke with emotion.

“Hey, buddy, are you all right? I didn’t see you until you were in front of me.” The driver’s shaken voice came from over her shoulder. He held a phone in his hand. So that’s what the idiot had been doing instead of paying attention.

Jen longed to grab the phone and shove it up his ass. “If you’d been watching, you would’ve seen him. Call 9-1-1.”

“I’m okay,” Logan rasped. “Get the dog.”

The dog. That was why he’d run into the street. In that instant, everything had been wiped from her mind except for Logan. She would never have forgiven herself if he’d been killed trying to save her pet. She couldn’t imagine how she’d go on in a world without him.

Freckles crouched on the sidewalk. The dog lowered her head between her paws, her dark eyes imploring, as if she’d figured out, finally, that she had caused a shit-storm.

“Come,” Jen said, keeping her voice low and calm. If she yelled, the dog would get scared and run.

Freckles crept over. She sniffed at Logan’s bleeding palms.

Jen grabbed hold of the dog’s collar and pulled Freckles away so she would stop trying to lick him. “You’re not okay, you’re hurt.” 

“I’m fine. It’s only a few scrapes.”

“But he hit you.”

“No, I tried to jump out of the way and hit the hood. Rolled off. He wasn’t going that fast.” Logan slowly got to his feet. “I’ll be fine. Nothing broken.”

Jen lifted the twenty-pound dog and held Freckles against her shoulder with one arm. The little sycophant licked her face. Using her other hand, Jen steadied Logan. She held his elbow even after it was clear he didn’t need her help.

His tan tuxedo was torn in several places and dirty at the knees where he’d knelt on the pavement. Other than his hands, he appeared unhurt, which was a miracle.

Jen’s stomach still churned. Her mind kept replaying the moment she’d seen Logan tumbling over the car’s hood. She shuddered, feeling drained and weak. She could only imagine how he felt.  “If you won’t go to the hospital, you need to get those cuts tended. Come back to the house. I’ve got hydrogen peroxide and bandages.”

The driver looked positively green. “Is there anything I can do?”

Logan shook his head.

“Pay better attention.” She flung the suggestion over her shoulder, still holding Logan’s arm as they walked together back to her house. The accident wasn’t wholly the driver’s fault, but she couldn’t help being angry and needed to direct it somewhere besides at Logan. What had he been thinking to run out in front of a car? He must’ve presumed the driver would see him and stop. He put his faith in someone undeserving.

Right. He’d put his faith in her too. And look where that had gotten him.

Her stomach remained knotted and the thickness in her throat wouldn’t go away, no matter how many times she swallowed. She’d messed this up so badly, she wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t want anything to do with her.

When she got inside the gate, she put Freckles down. “Go find a squirrel in your own yard.”

The music that came from the other side of the hedges had shifted from Mozart to metal. The party was just getting underway.

Logan hesitated. “I need to get back.”

“Yes, I know.” Skipping out on his friend would be rude and out of character for Logan, who was a thoughtful person. Yet he’d left the reception to come after her, which spoke volumes about how he felt about her. Or had felt. Could be past tense.

She eyed him, worriedly. His face looked less flushed. Actually, he was now pale. He could be hurt worse than he thought. “I wish you’d let me take you to a doctor.”

He frowned. “Jen, I’ll be all right. I’m just a little shook up.”

“Really? Well, I’m a lot ‘shook up.’ Look, I know you need to get back, but I’d feel a lot better if you would at least come inside and let me put some salve on those cuts.”

“Fine, all right.” Logan allowed her to take his arm and lead him into the house.

She indicated a stool at the breakfast bar. “Sit there while I get the first aid kit.”

He sat, as requested, but then stopped her with his arm. His gaze turned speculative. “Why did you come after me?”

Jen’s watch buzzed. Damn, she’d forgotten about the conference call. What incredibly bad timing. If she ended her conversation with Logan now, she might never get another chance. She took off the watch and dropped it into a drawer, slamming it shut.

“You were right. I’ve been making excuses to try to avoid being hurt. There haven’t been many people in my life I could depend on. Not even my parents. It’s hard for me to trust. I’m not good at it. But, I’m willing to try, because I think you’re trustworthy.”

Logan’s expression softened. He still didn’t say anything. Why should he? He’d already said what he needed to say. Now it was her turn.

“I should’ve told you before how much I admire you. You’re a man of rare insight and sensitivity, a lot smarter than I thought you were when I first met you. More patient than I deserve, and you’re a sap when it comes to dogs.” Nervous, she looked down at her clasped hands. “I guess what I’m trying to say is...”

Get a backbone, Jen. Look at him when you tell him.

With Logan sitting on the stool and her standing, they were about at the same height. She met his direct gaze. The answer would be there, in his eyes. His beautiful blue eyes.

“I think I could love you, cowboy. I know I can’t bear the thought of losing you. What do you say we give this a chance?”