Chapter 27
It was Christmas Eve at last. Mimi had risen early to make sure the journey to the airport went smoothly, without them having to turn back because CJ had forgotten to pack something vital.
She was cramming the last of the wrapped presents into her case when she heard her phone beep with an incoming message.
‘If it’s work, don’t answer it,’ CJ ordered. ‘I’m not doing anything for anyone. For the next seven days I’m on holiday and they can all take a running jump.’ He looked out of the window as a car pulled up on the drive. ‘Taxi’s here. Want me to take your case out for you?’
Mimi pretended to faint. ‘Sorry, did you just offer to do something useful?’
‘I’m in a good mood. No more slaving over a hot notepad for the next week. Better still, no more being bossed around by you.’
‘In that case you can definitely take my suitcase,’ said Mimi. ‘Let me just check the rest of the villa, make sure everything’s switched off.’
The taxi was loaded up, the villa’s security alarms were set, and they left for the airport. CJ, who was catching an afternoon flight to Heathrow, had booked himself into the Connaught Hotel and would be spending Christmas Day with his friends Anna and Tom in Holland Park, followed by Boxing Day at a country house party in Kent. Mimi’s plane, leaving an hour earlier, was due to land at Bristol at three in the afternoon and she was being picked up by Lois. The thought of arriving back in Goosebrook, where the weather was currently crisp and cold with the fairy-tale promise of snow, was giving her prickles of anticipation. Marcus might not be there, but the welcome would still be warm.
Belatedly remembering the message on her phone, she unzipped her bag to see who’d sent it. Hopefully there wasn’t a problem with Lois being able to collect her from the airport.
But the message was from a number she didn’t recognise. The opening sentence on the screen said: Hi Mimi, this is Willa’s mum here. Willa doesn’t know I’m contacting you . . .
Mystified, Mimi opened the rest of the message.
. . . but I just had to. I need to speak to CJ. Could you please call me back on this number so I can explain? As soon as possible, please. Thanks so much, pet.
More mystery. Mimi opened her mouth to tell CJ who the message was from, then saw that he was sitting back with his eyes closed, plugged into music and entirely oblivious to his surroundings.
Maybe it was easier to leave him that way for now.
She called the number and heard a breathy voice pick up on the second ring.
‘Mimi, is that you? Oh thank goodness, I thought you weren’t going to call back. Hello, pet, it’s Helen here, Willa’s mam.’
‘Hi. Is everything all right?’
‘It’s Willa, pet. The thing is, she’s having a baby—’
‘I know she is,’ said Mimi.
‘No, I mean she’s having it now. It wasn’t due for another month but she woke up with pains this morning and the midwife’s just confirmed that she’s in labour.’
‘Oh, how lovely! And one month early won’t be a problem, loads of babies are born early,’ Mimi reassured her. ‘I’m sure everything’ll be fine.’
‘I know, pet, but I needed CJ to know that it was happening. You see, Willa didn’t want me to tell him but I just thought . . . well, it is happening and he really should know . . . so do you think you could pass the news on to him, just in case? I mean, Willa’s so stubborn, but she’s my daughter and I felt . . . Do you understand what I’m trying to say, pet? Could you tell him, would you do that for me? Because she says he doesn’t want to know, but I just keep thinking, what if he did?’
Mimi was lost for words. Utter bafflement had turned to realisation, which in turn had morphed into a mixture of disbelief and dismay. Finally managing to speak, she said into the phone, ‘Of course I’ll tell him. And thank you for calling.’ Feeling so sorry for both Willa and her worried mother, Mimi added, ‘As soon as I’ve spoken to him, I’ll message you back.’
She ended the call and looked over at CJ. His eyes were still closed but she knew he wasn’t asleep; the fingers of his left hand were resting on his knee, tapping along to the rhythm of whatever music he was currently listening to.
She reached across and prodded his right arm to get his attention.
CJ took out one of his earbuds. ‘What?’
‘That message on my phone earlier? It was Willa’s mum. She wanted to let us know that Willa’s gone into labour.’
Silence. CJ assumed the expression of someone opening the front door to find a pair of bible-clutchers on the doorstep.
Finally he said, ‘And?’
‘She’s having the baby.’
‘That’s generally what going into labour implies.’
‘OK, sorry. You don’t seem to be getting this.’ Mimi held his gaze. ‘She’s having your baby.’
This time his face reddened. He shook his head and looked out of the window. The deathly silence lengthened.
Her patience slipped. ‘Oh my God, all this time and I had no idea. You didn’t tell me you were the father.’
‘Who says I am? Willa? Maybe she’s just saying that.’
‘Are you serious?’ Mimi’s voice rose. ‘You slept with her and she got pregnant.’
‘So that makes it my fault?’ CJ shot back. ‘How do you know there aren’t other contenders?’
‘She wouldn’t do that.’
This was true, but Mimi had a strong sense of the person Willa was. She said, ‘Did she have a boyfriend when she was out here working for you?’
‘A boyfriend? What is this, some Disney movie? No, she didn’t have a boyfriend, but you don’t actually need to be in a relationship to get pregnant. Any old one-night stand will do.’
‘And did Willa have a one-night stand?’
His jaw jutted. ‘She says not. But that’s what happens, isn’t it? When people get caught out, they lie.’
‘You don’t know she lied.’
‘I do,’ said CJ. ‘I saw her.’
‘You mean you caught them together? Actually having sex?’
A memory of finding Rob and Kendra together on the rooftop flashed through Mimi’s mind; she knew only too well how that felt.
‘I saw them walking together on the beach,’ CJ growled. ‘Talking.’
‘I don’t think that counts as sex,’ said Mimi.
‘And the next day they had coffee in the square. They were sitting outside Plaza Uno. Still talking.’
‘Still not having sex.’ But Mimi’s voice softened, because she could understand how his upbringing had affected his ability to trust people. And yelling at him, whilst tempting, wasn’t going to do any good. ‘Right, listen. The baby’s on its way. Once it’s here, you can get a DNA test done. Because you’ve spent the last six months telling yourself it might not be yours.’ She leaned across and rested her hand on his forearm. ‘But what if it is?’
CJ shook his head. ‘What if I see it and think it’s mine and then it turns out it isn’t? Because if that happened, I just couldn’t bear it.’
‘OK,’ said Mimi, ‘think about it from the baby’s point of view. Once children are old enough to ask about when they were born, they always want to know if their dad was there too. And it makes them feel loved and secure if he was.’
‘You’re clutching at straws now.’ He scowled. ‘Making it up.’
‘No, I’m not. My dad was there with my mum when I was born and I know how I felt when I found that out. It matters.’ Mimi shrugged. ‘It mattered to Mum too.’
‘I shouldn’t think for one minute that Willa wants me with her while she’s giving birth.’
‘You’re assuming that. Besides, even if you aren’t in the room with her, you could be there at the hospital. Honestly,’ Mimi willed him to understand, ‘I think you’d really regret it if you weren’t.’
CJ closed his eyes. The taxi had reached the outskirts of Palma and they’d soon be at the airport. He clearly needed time to think.
And then they were being dropped off at Departures. As they hauled their cases into the terminal, Mimi said, ‘Well?’
‘We’re here. By the time I get there, it’ll probably be too late.’
‘Then again, it might not be.’
‘I knew you’d say that.’ CJ looked at her. ‘I’m scared.’
‘I know you are.’
He faltered, then said, ‘Will you come with me?’
Mimi’s heart sank like a stone. It was Christmas Eve and she’d been so looking forward to getting back to Goosebrook.
But she was the one who’d persuaded CJ to do this. How could she abandon him now?
‘Please.’ CJ cleared his throat.
‘Of course I will.’ She turned in the direction of her airline’s flight desk. Now they just had to hope she could make it happen, before letting Willa and her mother know they were on their way.
Luck was on their side; Mimi was able to book CJ onto her flight. She arranged for a driver to meet them at Bristol and take them up to Sheffield. There was snow forecast for the north of England, but hopefully they’d have completed the three-hour journey by the time it arrived.
When she called Willa’s mother to let her know they’d be there by early evening, Mimi knew they were doing the right thing. She heard Helen’s sigh of relief before she gasped, ‘Oh thank you, pet, thank you so much . . . I’m so glad I told you.’ Her voice broke with emotion as she added, ‘I knew it was the right thing to do.’
And the gods were with them. Their flight took off and landed punctually. The cases were unloaded in record time and their driver was waiting for them at the gate. Mimi experienced a wave of regret at having had to cancel Lois. Fingers crossed, the baby would be born within minutes of their arrival, enabling her to leave CJ basking in love and new fatherhood while she shot back down south . . .
Unless Willa flatly refused to see him. Or the baby came out looking exactly like the handsome dark-haired man CJ had seen her walking with along the beach.
Oh God, please don’t let that happen.
They reached Sheffield as the first fat snowflakes began to fall. There had been no further texts since the one two hours ago from Helen saying: Four centimetres dilated, all going well so far. Which hopefully meant the baby hadn’t popped out yet.
‘I can’t believe I bought this. I shouldn’t have bought it.’ CJ gave the stuffed toy giraffe he’d picked up in duty-free a fretful shake. ‘What were you thinking, letting me buy something so ridiculous?’
‘It’s sweet,’ Mimi protested.
‘I look like an idiot.’ He yanked free one of the giraffe’s gangly hind legs as it got caught in the hospital’s swing doors.
Mimi winced; hopefully he wouldn’t do that if he were holding an actual baby. ‘Are you nervous?’
‘Terrified. And I need to find a bathroom before my bladder explodes.’
Spotting a sign to the men’s toilets, Mimi pointed down the corridor to the left and found herself the recipient of the toy giraffe while CJ hurried off.
The next moment, as she was about to text Willa’s mother, two women emerged from the maternity unit up ahead. One, in her fifties, was holding the door open for the other, who was younger, hugely pregnant and wearing a lilac dressing gown.
Mimi recognised her from the photos. Unable to tear her eyes away, she watched as the pair made their way slowly along the corridor towards her.
As the girl paused to massage her back, she in turn recognised Mimi, presumably from a recent photo posted on CJ’s website.
‘Oh, it’s you. Is CJ here too?’ Willa’s chin lifted. ‘Or has he done a runner?’
‘He’s here.’ Mimi nodded and gestured behind her. ‘He’ll be back in a minute.’
‘You must be Mimi.’ Helen’s voice was warm. ‘Hello, pet. Thanks so much for doing this.’
‘Can I just quickly ask something?’ said Willa. ‘And I need an honest answer. Are you and CJ . . . together?’
‘Oh my God.’ Startled, Mimi shook her head. ‘No way. Absolutely not.’
‘OK. Well, thanks. I didn’t think so, but it’s nice to know for sure . . . ow . . . owww . . .’
The next contraction was making itself felt. Helen, supporting her daughter while she breathed her way through the pain, explained, ‘She’s still only five centimetres dilated so the midwife said going for a walk might help to move things along.’
‘Oh God, here he is.’ Willa visibly braced herself as CJ appeared at the end of the corridor.
In turn, CJ did a double-take at the sight of her, before approaching as cautiously as if she were a cheetah baring her teeth.
‘Willa.’
‘CJ.’
‘You’re looking . . .’ He floundered, searching for the right word. ‘Huge.’
So much for being a writer. Mimi rolled her eyes.
‘Thanks.’ Willa finished exhaling and straightened up. ‘You’re looking old. And if you’re wondering, it was my mum’s idea to get you here, not mine.’
‘I can leave if you want,’ said CJ.
‘Oh no,’ Mimi blurted out. ‘Please don’t start arguing. We’re here now. It’s Christmas Eve. You’re going to have a baby!’ Her arms gestured wildly, managing to include both of them.
‘She is,’ CJ retorted. ‘I might not be.’
‘Do you still think that? Seriously?’ Willa’s shoulders stiffened.
‘I saw you with that guy on the beach. You were talking. Then you both stopped walking and he hugged you. And you hugged him back.’
‘What? I’ve never hugged anyone on the beach. Who was he?’
‘Around your age. Dark hair, good-looking. He was wearing red shorts.’ His tone meaningful, CJ added, ‘And nothing else.’
‘But I don’t even know . . . Oh, you mean Stefano?’ Willa’s look of puzzlement cleared. ‘He works at the dental surgery behind Pine Walk. His boyfriend’s one of the chefs at La Scala. I used to see him every morning walking his little dog . . . and then one day I asked him where she was and he told me she’d just died. And he got upset so I comforted him and gave him a hug. Is he the one you thought I was seeing? Stefano, the gay dentist?’
CJ retorted defensively, ‘He didn’t look gay.’
‘You should have said something before. I didn’t know it was Stefano you had a bee in your bonnet about.’
‘You told me you weren’t seeing anyone.’
‘That’s because I wasn’t,’ Willa exclaimed. ‘It’s called being honest and telling the truth . . . Oh, here comes the next contraction . . . oooh . . .’
When it had passed, CJ said awkwardly, ‘OK.’
‘Do you believe me now?’
‘About ninety-nine per cent.’
‘Oh for crying out loud,’ said Willa.
‘What? I’m being honest. And I bought this for you.’ CJ offered her the oversized gangling giraffe.
‘No, you didn’t.’ Mimi gave him a nudge. ‘You bought it for the baby.’
Willa leaned against her for support. ‘I want to get back to my bed now. It’s hurting more than before.’
‘Can I come with you?’ said CJ.
‘Give me a bit of time to think this through.’ Willa winced and clutched her stomach.
‘Only because Mimi persuaded you to. You still aren’t sure this baby’s yours. It’s four months since I last saw you,’ Willa went on, ‘and you haven’t even said sorry yet for not believing me.’
‘OK, I’m sorry,’ CJ muttered.
Her voice rose. ‘You don’t get to say it when you still don’t believe me. That means you don’t really mean it! Oh—’ She stopped abruptly and looked dismayed.
CJ frowned. ‘What’s happened now?’
But it really wasn’t necessary for Willa to explain: a puddle of water was rapidly forming around her slippered feet. A midwife wearing Christmassy reindeer antlers popped her head out of a nearby room and said cheerfully, ‘Whoops, spillage in aisle three! Can someone bring out a mop and bucket? Come on, my love, time to get you cleaned up and back to bed.’
Mimi had dozed off in the overheated waiting area at around eleven thirty. She woke up briefly at midnight, as church bells rang out in the distance and medical staff wished each other a chorus of Merry Christmases.
The next time she opened her eyes it was three in the morning and her arm had gone numb where she’d been sitting with her elbow on the arm of the chair and her head resting on her hand. The same breezy midwife was now giving her shoulder a gentle shake.
‘Morning! You can come through if you’d like to. It’s all been going on while you’ve been asleep!’
‘Is it here?’ Mimi followed her through the security doors and into the labour ward.
‘Crikey, you really were out for the count. Since this one arrived, it’s definitely been making its presence felt!’
She opened the door to Willa’s room before Mimi had a chance to ask if Willa and CJ had called a truce. Thankfully, it seemed they had. Willa was sitting up in bed looking tired but happy, while her mother chatted excitedly on her phone. CJ was standing beside Willa with a look of utter besottedness on his face as he rocked from foot to foot, cradling the wrapped-up newborn in his arms.
‘Congratulations!’ Mimi gave Willa a hug. ‘Is it a boy or a girl?’
And at that moment, something quite extraordinary happened: having opened his mouth to reply, CJ managed to contain himself and allow Willa to speak first.
‘It’s a girl,’ said Willa. And she and Mimi exchanged a silent, significant glance, both of them only too well aware of CJ’s habit of always needing to blurt out answers before anyone else.
‘She’s the most beautiful girl you ever saw,’ CJ announced with pride.
‘Can I see?’ Mimi approached him and he held the baby towards her. She covered her mouth and said, ‘Oh my goodness,’ before starting to laugh. Because it was like she was looking at a miniature, wrinkle-free version of CJ. From the fine fair hair to the querulous eyebrows, from the challenging stare to the pursed lips and double chin, the similarity was inescapable.
‘I know,’ said Willa with a smile. ‘Isn’t it amazing?’
‘How can she be so gorgeous and look exactly like CJ?’
‘Hey,’ CJ protested. ‘I’m gorgeous too.’
Mimi smiled. ‘So . . . is everything OK now?’
‘It’s better than OK. This is the best day of my life. I’m a father. We have a baby.’ He turned to look at Willa. ‘You were amazing. You are amazing. I’m so sorry I was such an idiot before.’
‘You don’t have to keep saying it,’ Willa told him. ‘I know you are.’
‘I love you.’ CJ choked up with emotion, stumbling over the words. ‘I always did, but I couldn’t risk telling you in case you were horrified and left. I’d had seven PAs walk out on me, remember, so I was terrified of losing you too. Then we accidentally did . . . well, this.’ He indicated the infant in his arms, solemnly staring up at him. ‘And you backed right off after that night.’
‘You backed off first,’ said Willa. ‘I thought you wanted to pretend it had never happened. I was just trying to remain professional.’
‘I saw you with the chap on the beach. Then the next thing I know, you were telling me you were pregnant. And that just triggered a massive reaction. I’m so sorry.’
‘I know.’ Willa nodded to reassure him that she understood. ‘I know you are. We both flew into a bit of a panic. But it’s OK, that’s all behind us now. We just have to learn to trust each other.’
And tears welled up in CJ’s eyes once more as he bent his head to kiss his daughter’s forehead. Willa was dabbing her wet cheeks with the edge of the bed sheet. Even Willa’s mum was surreptitiously wiping her eyes.
‘My girl, my beautiful girl.’ CJ stroked the baby’s nose with an index finger. ‘Hello, I’m your daddy! How about that, can you believe it? And today’s your birthday.’ He shook his head in amazement. ‘I feel like a completely new person, as if my heart wants to burst out of my chest . . . Yes, that’s your mummy!’ He carefully transferred their daughter into Willa’s arms and gazed at the two of them in wonder. ‘This is the most incredible thing that’s ever happened. I can’t believe the difference it makes, having a baby.’
‘And you aren’t even the one who had to have stitches,’ said Willa with a smile.
They stayed cocooned in the room for another thirty minutes, admiring the baby, examining her tiny fingers and toes and exclaiming over her defined eyebrows and the miraculous softness of the skin on the sides of her face. Then exhaustion set in for Willa, her eyelids began to droop and the midwife with the light-up antlers placed the infant in her crib beside the bed.
It was four thirty in the morning when Mimi, CJ and Helen left them to get some much-needed sleep.
‘Bye! Merry Christmas,’ said the midwife, waving them off.
‘AAARRGHH,’ bellowed a woman in the next room as her own midwives shouted, ‘That’s it, one more push!’
‘Every day it’s happening all over the world,’ CJ marvelled. ‘I never thought about it before, but it really is like a miracle.’ He looked from Mimi to Helen, as overwhelmed as if he’d just had a spectacular religious experience. ‘The miracle of birth!’
They were approaching the exit. Mimi said, ‘D’you think there’ll be any cabs outside?’ Since that first eventful visit to Goosebrook, she’d never take taxis for granted again.
‘If there aren’t, we can call one,’ said Helen.
‘And we need to find a hotel.’ There was a TV on in the reception area, with music playing at low volume. Chris Rea was apparently ‘Driving Home for Christmas’.
‘Oh you don’t have to do that,’ Helen protested. ‘You must stay with me. I’ve got a spare room!’
‘I’m not sharing a bed with Mimi.’ CJ recoiled in horror. ‘I’m a respectable man with a reputation to maintain.’
‘Don’t panic, pet. You can sleep downstairs on the sofa,’ Helen reassured him.
CJ frowned. ‘Or Mimi could, because she’s smaller than me.’
‘Look, it’s Christmas,’ said Mimi. ‘And I’d really love to get home if I can, now that everything’s sorted out here. There aren’t any trains for the next two days, which means I’m going to have to book a taxi. Maybe I could head off now . . .’ She hoped against hope that CJ would take the hint and offer to pay what was bound to be an extortionate fare.
But he was ignoring her, cradling the toy giraffe wrapped up in his discarded sweater in one arm and clutching his case in the other hand, whilst staring straight ahead. At that moment the glass doors at the entrance slid open to admit a man and his heavily pregnant partner, their heads and coats covered in fat snowflakes.
‘Goodness, it’s really snowing,’ Helen exclaimed as the man helped the panting woman inside and a cab driver brought up the rear with a suitcase.
Mimi saw that beyond the sliding doors, the night sky was thick with tumbling flakes of snow. Alarmed, she said to the cab driver, ‘If you’re free now, can we grab you? I need to get down to Cirencester and we can drop these two en route . . .’
‘You’re havin’ a laugh, darlin’.’ He was already shaking his head. ‘No way are you getting down to Cirencester. There’s been a howlin’ blizzard going on for the last six hours and the motorway’s closed.’
Mimi gave a wail of dismay. ‘Oh no . . .’
The cabbie was sympathetic. ‘Sorry, not going to happen, not tonight. But on the plus side,’ he added, indicating the wrapped-up bundle in CJ’s arms and patting his own generous paunch before pointing to Mimi’s flat stomach, ‘if you’ve just given birth, I’m well impressed, love. Because you’re looking great.’