Chapter 28
It was seven in the evening on Boxing Day, and as tradition dictated, everyone who was out was in the Black Swan.
Back in Goosebrook forty-eight hours after she’d originally expected to be, Mimi dumped her suitcase in the hallway of the cottage, then left again and made her way down the high street to where all the action was going on. She could already hear the music, even from here. The outside of the pub was lit up with strings of multicoloured fairy lights and the snow blanketing the village green lent a pale, ghostly air to the pervading darkness.
Much less snow here though than there had been in Sheffield. Just a thin layer that crunched beneath her boots. Reaching the Black Swan, Mimi paused and gazed in through the window. The inside of the pub had been enthusiastically decorated too, a real tree was up, and a lively fire burned in the grate. From out here, she could hear the babble of conversation and bursts of laughter as well as the music playing and the song currently being belted out by whoever’s turn it was on the karaoke. Taking a step to the right, she saw that it was Eamonn from the village shop and Maria from the pub who were up on the stage, arm in arm as they sang ‘Don’t Go Breaking My Heart’ with gusto.
There were plenty of familiar faces on the dance floor too, amongst them Paddy Fratelli and Felix and Lois, as well as plenty of other regulars complete with children of all ages and several dogs. Mimi spotted Cora and Charlotte, then moments later saw Della returning from the bar with fresh Cokes for them. Unable to help herself, she felt her heart sink a bit, because Della was looking so glamorous and beautiful. No sign of Cal, but he had to be there somewhere as well. Edging to the left to see if she could glimpse him at the back of the pub, she moved closer to the window—
‘You know, they’d probably let you in if you asked nicely.’
She whipped round and saw Cal behind her, watching with amusement from the pavement.
‘Oh! I was about to go in.’ He had Otto with him, had presumably been taking him for a quick turn around the village.
‘You look like the Little Match Girl, pressing your nose up against the glass.’ He came and stood beside her.
Beneath her layers of clothing, Mimi felt the goose bumps rise on her skin simply because he was so near. ‘It’s my guilty secret. I love standing outside lit-up windows looking in. Not in a peeping Tom kind of way,’ she added hastily. ‘I just really like seeing people chatting and dancing, having a great time. They all look so happy.’
‘It’s OK, I know what you mean. Cora used to be obsessed with peering in through windows. She said it was like opening an old-fashioned Advent calendar, the ones with pictures instead of chocolate. Anyway, it’s good to see you,’ Cal went on. ‘You made it down here at last. Lois kept me updated with what’s been going on.’ His eyes crinkled at the corners. ‘So, belatedly, happy Christmas.’
Mimi shivered, and not just from the cold. ‘Thanks. You too.’
He tilted his head. ‘And was it? Happy, I mean?’
‘It was different.’ As she spoke, the cloud of condensation from her mouth mingled with the one from Cal’s and the intimacy of it made her feel quite giddy with longing. To distract herself, Mimi bent down and made a fuss of Otto, then glanced up at Cal again. ‘How about yours?’
‘Mine was different too.’ He shrugged. ‘Well, I suppose it was bound to be. Everyone has their own Christmas traditions, don’t they, so when two families get together, they just have to learn to adapt. But it was fine, it was great. And first thing tomorrow we’re off on our skiing trip.’
Of course they were. Bloody skiing trip. Aloud, Mimi said, ‘Oh, it’ll be brilliant. You’ll have so much fun. And the girls will love it.’
‘I hope so. You’re shivering.’ As the door to the pub opened from the inside and Otto lunged towards it, the hand clutching the lead brushed against hers and Mimi felt a spark of electricity dance up her arm. Cal said, ‘You’re freezing cold.’
But his own hand was wonderfully warm. For a mad moment Mimi longed to grab hold of it and press his palm against her cheek. Oh God, just imagine, how would he react if she actually did that?
‘OK, Little Match Girl, let’s get you inside before frostbite sets in.’ Ushering her towards the open door, Cal called out above a lull in the music, ‘Hey, look who’s here, better late than never!’
And it was just the loveliest feeling, because heads turned and people seemed genuinely delighted to see her, and there was even some cheering, which made Mimi flush with joy. Because Marcus might not be around right now, but it didn’t matter; there was a fantastic sense of belonging. She felt like a part of the village in her own right.
Then Lois was hugging her, and a big glass of Sauvignon Blanc was thrust into her hand. She kissed people she knew – not Cal, though – and wished everyone a belated happy Christmas before telling them about the unexpected adventure that had led to her spending the last two nights in snowbound Sheffield, sleeping on the sofa that belonged to her boss’s girlfriend’s mother.
‘You did a good thing,’ Lois declared. ‘Honestly, if I’d been looking after CJ and he’d dug his heels in, I’d have bloody left him to it. You gave up your Christmas for that selfish prat.’
She didn’t know the full story. Mimi said, ‘Doesn’t matter, it was worth it in the end. And I’m here now. Oh, thanks so much.’ She took the glass of wine Cal had just bought for her and lined it up next to the first one. Tomorrow he might be off on holiday with Della, but at least she was able to look at him tonight, imprint every detail of his face in her memory and listen to his beautiful voice.
‘Hi, you made it then!’ Della joined them. ‘Lois said you were coming back tonight. I bet you had fun though, didn’t you? Oh, just the thought of cuddling a newborn makes me feel all broody . . . breathing in that incredible baby smell.’ She wriggled her shoulders and quivered with ecstasy, then gave Cal a nudge. ‘Remember when we were opening our Christmas presents yesterday morning and Cora said her favourite smell was chocolate? And Charlotte said, “Mum’s favourite smell in the world is little babies.” But it’s true. I just love it so much. Makes me swoon!’
‘Uh oh, Mum’s going funny over babies again.’ Charlotte had come bouncing up with Cora. ‘Mum, stop it, you’re too old to have any more.’
‘Cheek! Of course I’m not too old. I’m in my prime, I’ll have you know!’ Della bridled with mock outrage. ‘Anyway, are you two having a good time? Don’t drink any more Cokes after these, will you, or you won’t be able to sleep. And we need to leave in . . . ooh,’ she checked her watch, ‘fifteen minutes.’
Mimi’s spirits lifted. Was it really so wrong to hope that fifteen minutes from now, Della would be taking the girls home but Cal might stay here for a bit longer? Not because she wanted to do anything lascivious to him, obviously, but it was just so nice to see him. And after this evening, who knew how long it might be before it happened again?
Felix, who was running the karaoke, grabbed the microphone. ‘OK, who’s up next? Della, it’s your name on the list and you’ve chosen one hell of a song. Come along then, let’s see what you’re made of!’
‘Want to come up and sing with me?’ Della reached playfully for Cal’s hand, but he stepped back.
‘Thanks, but I think I’ll leave this one to you.’
Della took to the small stage and the emotive opening bars of the theme to Titanic began to play, prompting whoops of delight from the crowd. As everyone turned to watch, Mimi found herself next to Cal, her arm briefly brushing against his in the crush. The next moment they were squashed closer still, as a result of Cora wriggling in on her other side.
In the expectant second before Della began to sing, Mimi wondered if it might all go horribly wrong. Maybe she would miss the first note . . . get in a flustered muddle with the words . . . or turn out to be tone deaf, which would obviously be the best outcome of all.
Then Cora tugged at her sleeve and whispered up to her, ‘She should be on The X Factor, she’s a really brilliant singer,’ and the brief fantasy splintered. Because of course Della would be a brilliant singer, of course she would.
Unlike me.
Also, wasn’t it lovely that Cora was bigging her up like this and looking so proud?
Ashamed of herself for having entertained such uncharitable thoughts, Mimi guiltily moved her arm so it was no longer touching Cal’s. If she couldn’t be delighted that he and Della were now a proper couple, she could at least be happy for Cora and Charlotte.
‘. . . My heart will go ooooooooon aaaaand oooooooooon.’
The song ended and everyone in the pub burst into wild applause, whistling and registering their appreciation because Della had absolutely nailed it. On either side of Mimi, Cal and Cora were clapping madly whilst up on the stage Della did a modest little curtsey and said into the microphone, ‘Oh gosh, thanks so much, I’m just glad I didn’t mess it up!’
The next moment, Mimi found herself being grabbed and hauled towards the stage, where Felix was setting up the next track.
‘What are you doing?’ She stared in horror at Lois, who was doing the hauling. ‘I can’t sing!’
‘Everyone can sing. And I don’t want to be up there on my own. Come on, it’ll be a laugh.’
‘For a one-legged woman, you’re incredibly strong.’
Lois grinned. ‘It’s my secret super-power.’
Mimi felt the fear wash over her. ‘No, please don’t make me do this . . .’
But people were cheering and Lois was still determinedly dragging her, and now Della was handing over the microphone she’d just sung so brilliantly into, saying, ‘Oh don’t be shy! If I can do it, so can you!’
Oh God, it was a nightmare but she was going to have to plough on through it. Standing next to Lois, gazing down at the sea of familiar faces, she waited for the music to begin and knew the moment was fast approaching when anyone who might have fancied her even the tiniest bit was about to have their illusions well and truly shattered.
‘Purple RAIN . . . purple RAAAAINNN . . .’
OK, the only way to do this if you were a terrible singer was to employ enthusiasm to make up for utter lack of talent. With Lois alongside her, Mimi flung herself into the performance with abandon. Each wrong note was accompanied by an air punch and worn as a badge of honour. And three minutes later, when it mercifully reached an end, she bowed deeply and said into the microphone, ‘Thanks so much, I’m just glad I didn’t mess it up!’
Which made everyone roar with laughter, thank goodness. At least they knew she knew how bad her singing voice was.
Paddy Fratelli, his eyes as electric blue as his shirt, helped her down from the stage and handed her a full glass of wine. ‘Well done, here you go, you deserve this.’
‘Thanks, but I’ve already got one over there somewhere . . . or two . . .’
‘You were great.’ He smiled his disconcertingly all-seeing smile.
‘Oh, I wasn’t—’
‘Mimi, you were so funny.’ Cora came bouncing up to them. ‘We liked your dancing!’ She executed some Jagger-style moves and waved her arms in the air in exuberant homage. ‘Charlotte said it looked as if you were being electrocuted!’
Behind her, Charlotte beamed and nodded. They clearly hadn’t meant it as an insult. Mimi said, ‘Well thank you, because that was exactly the effect I was going for.’
‘Right, girls, we need to make a move now.’ Della’s glossy hair swung past her shoulders as she made chivvying gestures. ‘Go and collect your coats.’
‘Oh, but can’t we stay just a bit longer?’ begged Cora.
‘No, because we have to be up very early in the morning. We need to leave for the airport at three thirty. Well done up there, by the way.’ Della turned to Mimi. ‘Very disinhibited!’
Ouch.
‘Dad hasn’t finished his drink yet, though.’ Cora was pulling out all the stops in an effort to delay their departure.
‘He’s going to finish it in twenty seconds. Cal?’ Della beckoned to him. ‘Time we were off.’
Cal nodded. ‘I’ll go and fetch the girls’ coats.’
Damn, he was leaving. A thought belatedly struck Mimi. ‘Oh, there’s something I need to have a word with you about.’ Briefly indicating Cora, she added, ‘In private?’
‘No problem, come with me while I get the coats.’
Grabbing her shoulder bag and excusing herself with a smile, Mimi said to Della, ‘Sorry about this, won’t be a second.’ Then she followed Cal out through the side door and into the passageway where all the coats were hung up on a wooden rack.
Cal turned to look at her and frowned. ‘Is everything OK?’ He said it as if he really cared.
Mimi nodded, because of course everything wasn’t OK but she could hardly blurt out that seeing him for twenty minutes just wasn’t long enough. Instead, unzipping her shoulder bag, she showed him the large, festively wrapped parcel inside. ‘The thing is, I bought Cora a Christmas present when I thought I’d be back by Christmas Eve, but obviously that didn’t happen. So I brought it along with me tonight, but when I saw that Cora was here with Charlotte and you’re all together,’ she made a family-style gesture with her hands, ‘I realised it’d be a bit awkward to just give a present to Cora. And now you’re off and it’s too big for you to hide inside your jacket, so I don’t quite know what to do.’
‘That’s really kind of you.’ Cal smiled and nodded, slowly understanding the dilemma. He thought for a moment. ‘When are you heading back to Majorca?’
‘Um, I don’t know . . . it’s up to CJ.’
‘But he’s in Sheffield and they’ve just had a baby. Look, we’re only away for a week, so you’ll probably still be here when we get back. You could give it to Cora then, when Charlotte isn’t around. How about that?’
Mimi nodded, relieved. ‘Good idea. Yes, perfect.’
‘Hello?’ The door opened behind them and Della appeared. ‘Is this a private party or can anyone join in? Cal, can you pass me the girls’ coats? We really do need to get them home.’
Her smile was charming. Cal said, ‘No problem. We’re finished here,’ and took the coats down from their hooks.
Back in the bar, the round of goodbyes and the many predictable break-a-leg jokes were made, and Mimi got stuck into her glass of wine. Up on the stage, Felix was belting out a surprisingly tuneful version of ‘Back for Good’.
Whilst Cal was busy ushering Cora, Charlotte and Otto out of the pub, Della did a neat U-turn and came over to join her. Keeping her voice low and her face conspiratorially close to Mimi’s, she said, ‘By the way, just so you’re aware, we do both know about your crush on Cal. I mean, it doesn’t bother me at all but I do think Cal finds it pretty embarrassing, so you might want to try and dial it back a bit.’ Her smile sympathetic, she gave Mimi’s shoulder a consoling pat. ‘I’m saying it for your sake rather than ours.’
The words sounded as if they were coming from far away. Unable to look at Della, Mimi stared blindly up at Felix instead and felt her entire body prickle with humiliation, horror and deep, deep shame.
It was already too late to protest that she was wrong. Della had turned and rejoined Cal and the girls as they left to make their way home ahead of tomorrow’s crazy-early start.
Besides, Della hadn’t been wrong, had she? It was the fact that she was spot on that made the situation so completely excruciating. Oh God.
Fifty times worse, Cal knew.
And he was such a nice person that he’d never once made it apparent that he was aware of the way she felt about him.
Whilst all the time, he and Della had been sharing the secret between the two of them; it had clearly been their own private joke.
Mimi took a huge gulp of wine. Up until now, discovering her boyfriend and her best friend together up on that rooftop in Notting Hill had been the most mortifying experience of her life.
But this? This was worse by far.
‘Hey! You OK?’ It was Lois, bringing over the untouched glass of wine Cal had bought for her earlier.
Mimi took the glass. ‘I’m great.’ Because she couldn’t even bring herself to confide in Lois; it was just too shameful to share. As Felix’s turn on the karaoke came to an end and he basked in the burst of applause, she knocked back her drink and said, ‘Up for another song? Come on, let’s do it.’
Anything – anything – to get the memory of Della’s words and the pity in her eyes out of her brain.