Chapter Ten
Lucian
“I’m waddling, aren’t I?” I freeze as Lia asks me the type of question that no man in his right mind would answer. We are walking up the sidewalk outside Lia’s OB/GYN. Today is our next ultrasound appointment and it’s very possible that we will find out the baby’s sex.
As if sensing I am no longer following her, Lia turns around, giving me a questioning look. “Don’t worry,” she finally huffs out, “I didn’t really expect a reply, so you’re safe.” I attempt to hide the look of relief on my face as she lets me off the hook. As her pregnancy has become more noticeable, Lia began pointing out her rapidly expanding stomach. It might bother her, but I fucking love it. I find it sexy as hell that my child is growing inside her. I have a hard time believing she has any hang-ups about her body considering I can’t keep my hands off her. She cries at the drop of a hat now though, so I always try to be careful about what I say, even when joking. It kills me to see tears glisten in those beautiful eyes. Just a few nights ago, she started crying while we were having dinner at Leo’s because he sent us a surprise dessert to the table. Poor Leo, when he came out a few minutes later to find her sobbing, he’d damn near joined her. I’d silently handed him the extra napkin from the table since Lia was already using both hers and mine.
We’ve barely settled in the waiting room when Lia’s name is called. Once again, it’s the ultrasound technician named Brittany. “How are we doing today?” she asks as we silently follow her into the dimly lit room. “Today, we’ll be doing the abdominal ultrasound since your pregnancy should have advanced enough to give us clear images.”
“Thank fu—” Lia squeezes my hand painfully before I can complete the curse word that has Brittany’s eyes widening. “Ful…we’re really thankful for that, right, baby?” Lia smirks at my quick recovery and even Brittany’s lips twitch.
Lia rolls up her shirt and slides her pants down below her hips as Brittany instructs, then covers her stomach in a clear gel. Brittany uses a handheld wand—that looks nothing like a penis this time—and begins sliding it over Lia’s stomach. I’m completely riveted, when she says, “Okay, there is the baby’s heartbeat.” I see the image on the screen that looks like tiny butterfly wings fluttering before she moves away again and starts taking measurements. “You measure at twenty weeks and four days which puts you about a week ahead of schedule.”
“So my due date was wrong last time?” Lia asks, looking confused.
“Oh no, that probably won’t change. Your baby is just a little ahead on growth. Look at those cheeks; you’ve got a little chunky monkey in there.” Brittany laughs and I feel my balls draw up into my fucking throat. Hasn’t she worked around pregnant women long enough to know that you never call anything even remotely attached to their body chunky? Dear God, Lia is probably going to come up off this bed and kill the twit.
Just as I thought, Lia asks sharply, “Are you calling my baby fat?”
Brittany seems to have caught on to the scent of danger because she gives Lia a wary look before quickly shaking her head. “Oh no, of course not. Your baby is just healthy.” I wince because I don’t see that answer going over much better. Brittany though, is luckily smarter than I’ve given her credit, because she launches into a quick subject change. “Who wants to know the sex of the baby?”
That does the trick; Lia forgets all about her fat baby rage and now resembles an eager puppy. “Can you really tell?” She looks at me with tears in her eyes. “We want to know, right, Luc?”
“We do,” I agree, feeling my throat tighten. This is really happening again and even though I’m not particularly religious, I thank God for giving me another chance to be a father.
Brittany taps a few times on her keyboard, enlarging an area on the screen, then says in a voice like a game show host, “Lia and Lucian, you’re having a girl.”
Lia is full on sobbing now, and I’m staring at the screen in some kind of trance. A girl? I mean, it’s not as if I didn’t know that it had to be one or the other, but I think in my mind, I’d assumed it was a boy. Suddenly, I can easily imagine a mini-version of Lia coming into this world, and I feel moisture gathering in my eyes as well. I rub Lia’s back gently as she leans her head against my shoulder. “Did you hear her, Luc?” she chokes out.
“I heard, baby, and I couldn’t be happier,” I say as I drop a kiss against her temple. “If I could wish for anything, it would be two of you. I never thought that was even possible until now.”
Lia’s tears, which had started to lessen, return with full force at my statement. It was completely true, but maybe I should have kept it to myself until Brittany found another box of tissues.
After what seems like hours, but is much less, we have our pictures and are back in the Range Rover. Lia falls limply against the seat and says, “Whew, that was intense.”
“No shit,” I deadpan, causing her to let loose with a fit of laughter. I think we both needed the comic relief.
“Are you disappointed it’s not a boy?” she asks as she looks down at her hands.
Taken aback by her question, I stare at her bent head for a moment before leaning across the console and putting one hand on the nape of her neck and the other on the swell of her stomach. “Not at all, baby. I was surprised because I don’t think I had let myself believe one way or the other. You and this baby are my miracles and the only thing I feel is utterly and completely blessed.”
“Luc?” she says lovingly.
“What, baby?” I answer, expecting at the least a declaration of her love.
“I’m so hungry. Could you stop at McDonald’s and buy a couple of cheeseburgers to tide me over until we meet Debra and Ray for dinner?”
I give a snort of surprise before patting her thigh. She’s eating for two now and our baby must have quite an appetite because a small meal before the main one has gotten to be the norm for her. “Of course, babe. Just hold tight. I also need to swing by Aidan’s to pick up the Kenson contracts. He was supposed to leave them out for me before leaving for the weekend.” When she gives me a worried look, I quickly add, “I’ll pick up your food first and you can eat it there, okay?”
Lia gives me a dazzling smile that lets me know I’m her hero or, in this case, her Ronald McDonald. “Thank you, honey.”
Thankfully, McDonald’s isn’t crowded and within twenty minutes, Lia is munching on a cheeseburger in Aidan’s kitchen while I flip through the signed contract. It’s taken months and a lot of negotiations, but Kenson will soon be a part of Quinn Software. Aidan worked his ass off on the deal and he’ll be well rewarded for it.
Lia gives a groan of bliss as she finishes her food and takes a sip of her drink. “Feeling better?” I smirk as she lets out a delicate burp.
Her cheeks bloom pink as she mumbles, “Excuse me. I didn’t mean for that to happen.”
“It’s quite all right, sweetheart. Sam does it all the time.” She sticks her tongue out at me before picking up her trash and putting it away. I look at my watch. “We’d better get going before we’re late.” We’re just steps away from the front door when I hear keys turning in the lock. I’m momentarily surprised because I thought Aidan would be long gone by now since he’d taken today off. Maybe he’d forgotten something and had to come back.
I see his familiar face as the door opens. He steps to the side and ushers someone ahead of him. I brace myself for an awkward run-in with Monique or some other one-night stand. When the woman turns toward me, my world screeches abruptly to a halt. “Oh my God,” I hiss, feeling like I’m in the middle of a bad dream.
Aidan looks up at the sound of my voice, blanching when he sees me gaping at him. “Luc. What’re you doing here?” I am incapable of answering him as I continue to stare at the woman beside him. Her hair is pulled tightly away from her face in a ponytail. She’s pale and doesn’t appear to be wearing any makeup. She’s also thinner than usual—almost waif-like.
When Lia takes my hand, I give her a helpless look, not even knowing what to do or say at this point. I can tell she’s curious. She gives Aidan a warm smile saying, “Hi, Aidan. Lucian came by for some papers and we stayed long enough for me to have a snack. We were just on our way to meet some friends for dinner.”
Aidan’s voice is strained as he says, “Um…hi, Lia. Good to see you again.” This whole moment in time is so fucking strange to me that I can hardly believe it’s happening. Aidan looks like he’s been hit by a bus, so I have to believe he’s feeling the same way. Lia keeps shooting quick glances my way as if trying to figure out what to do next—and Cassie, dammit to hell—she’s standing before me looking completely and utterly blank.
Lia suddenly extends a hand toward Cassie with a shy smile, and alarmed, I try to pull her back. She places a hand on my chest to stop me before turning back to the other woman. “It looks as if everyone has forgotten their manners around here. I’m Lia, and you are?”
Cassie looks from Lia’s face to her hand and back again. Then she does something that stops my heart. She steps toward Lia and places a hand on either side of her swollen stomach. “My baby,” she says in a childlike voice that chills my blood. Both Aidan and I freeze while Lia looks at me uncertainly.
“Why do you have my baby?”
Horror floods Lia’s face as she steps back quickly. Her actions shake me from my stupor and I jerk forward, taking her arm and pulling her through the partially open door. I pass within inches of Cassie and I think I will shatter if she lays one hand on me. Thankfully, though, Aidan has reached over and pulled her farther inside the apartment and away from us. I hear him speaking softly but shakily to her as I hurry Lia toward the elevator. When the door closes behind us, I collapse back against the wood panel, unable to comprehend what just occurred. The elevator continues to sit in place as neither of us has pushed a button yet. “Lucian. What just happened in there?” Lia asks in a tight voice.
“Fuck if I know, baby.” I shudder, trying to recover enough to function. I’d never expected to see Cassie again and I damn sure hadn’t imagined running into her in some random way. I could only assume that Aidan had followed through with the doctor’s suggestion to bring her for a visit. Why in the hell hadn’t he told me—warned me that he was doing just that? I wouldn’t have been anywhere near his apartment if I’d known and I sure wouldn’t have put Lia right in her path. I’d felt physically sick when she’d touched Lia’s stomach as if it were her own. Fucking hell!
“That was Cassie, wasn’t it?” Lia asks, in a voice that says she already knows the answer.
“Yes.” I sigh.
“Why didn’t you tell me she was out?” Lia’s voice sounds like a mixture of hurt and pissed off.
I pull her into my arms, closing them around her protectively. “I didn’t know, baby. Aidan told me a month or so ago that her doctor suggested having her come home with him for a day to see how she responded, but he never told me that he’d scheduled it. He usually visits her on the weekends, and to my knowledge, that was all he was doing this time.”
Lia shivers against me and I know it has nothing to do with the temperature in the elevator. “Did you see the way she looked at me? Touched me?”
“Yeah, I did,” I say hoarsely. “I shouldn’t have let you near her. Shit, let’s get out of here.” I lean over to punch the button for the ground floor, thinking it wasn’t a great idea to linger just feet from where Cassie was.
“Is she better now?” Lia asks. “I mean, from the few things you’ve said, I assumed she would never be…out again.”
“It’s supposedly the new medication they have her on. I told you that she’d been responding to it. I mean, I hardly believed it when Aidan first mentioned it, and I just shoved the information aside. Especially when I put Aidan solely in charge of her care and removed Max.”
“Was that really a good idea?” Lia asks delicately. “Don’t you want to know what’s going on there to avoid something like what just happened?”
Hell to the fucking yes, I want to shout, but wait until we’re on the road once again before I answer her. “I needed to avoid as much stress as possible with trying to detox on my own. Having to hear updates on Cassie tends to push me close to the edge. I also didn’t feel it was fair to keep that kind of personal responsibility on Max’s shoulders. Aidan is more than happy to look after Cassie and he’s able to do it far more impartially than I’ll ever be. For the first time in eight years, I thought I might be making a decision concerning her that wasn’t just based on my hate. I wanted to give that much consideration to Aidan.” Hitting the steering wheel with the palm of my hands, I snarl out, “It was a mistake, a fucking huge one. That should have never happened tonight.”
I feel Lia’s hand on my thigh as she tries to calm me. I’m surprised she isn’t freaking out as well. I can’t get the image of Cassie’s hands on our child as she called it her own. It was such a darkly twisted moment that I have to fight the urge to pull over and heave until there is nothing left inside of me. “I’ll call Debra and cancel dinner. We can go home and attempt to regroup.”
I take a deep breath, knowing that my anxiety level directly affects her. I can only imagine how she feels because I want to freak the fuck out myself. I need to be strong and downplay what’s happened if possible. I have no desire at all to socialize tonight, but I’ll do it—for her. I place my hand on top of hers and give it a squeeze of reassurance. “It’s fine, baby. You’ve been looking forward to seeing your friends again and I refuse to let my baggage ruin that.”
“Are you sure?” She sounds skeptical.
“Absolutely. There’s no use in going home to dwell on something we can’t change…at least tonight. Tomorrow will be soon enough to get some answers.” Even though I managed to keep my voice level for Lia’s benefit, I’d really like nothing more at the moment than to call Aidan and ask him what in the hell is going on. How dare he fucking bring her back here—to his apartment—for her first home visit without telling me. I also want to call Max and demand that he finds some way to make sure this never happens again. She’s not well—fucking far from it. If Aidan can’t see that, then he has no business managing her care. She’s a danger to all that I hold dear. An icy feeling of déjà vu washes over me and I know with certainty that in order to have a future with Lia, I’ll have to battle a past that threatens to take it all away—again.