Chapter Four
Lia
Our lives have fallen back into the regular routine again in the week since our fight and subsequent talk about Lucian’s past. He’s watching the morning stock reports as I stumble into the kitchen. My cup of coffee sits on the counter next to him as it almost always does. He’s also fixed me my favorite multi-grain bagel with blueberry cream cheese. He’s in his usual attire of suit pants, tie, and dress shirt. His suit jacket is hanging on the back of another chair. Just thinking of a man looking like he stepped straight from the pages of a GQ magazine fixing me breakfast each morning is enough to make me go weak at the knees and damp at the core. He is so sexy that I can hardly believe he’s all mine sometimes.
“Morning, baby,” he says as if sensing my presence.
I stop staring and walk over to where he has now turned on his barstool and is looking at me in question. I shake my head, not wanting to explain what I had been thinking. I wiggle between his spread thighs and wrap my arms around his neck. He pulls me up onto my tiptoes and I taste the coffee on his lips as he kisses me. “Mmm, good morning to you, too,” I purr against his mouth as I lick my lips. Oh God, he smells so good this close. A mixture of soap, cologne, and Lucian. I admit I’ve had a few stalker-type moments where I’ve put just a touch of his cologne on the collar of my shirt so I could smell him all day.
I settle onto the stool next to his and take an appreciative sip of my coffee. I almost choke on the first bite of my bagel when he says, “So, we’ve got our appointment with Dr. Kay at four today. I’ll be back to pick you up around 3:30, okay?”
I look down at the cast on my wrist in surprise. Other than a ton of mental scars, it’s the biggest remaining physical reminder of the attack and near rape by my stepfather. I’ve become so used to working around it that I barely pay it any attention now. Truthfully, with everything that’s happened in the last week, I hadn’t thought of my upcoming appointment. Now though, my stomach begins flipping nervous somersaults. Lucian, possibly seeing the panic on my face, turns me to face him and puts a comforting hand on my thigh. “It’s going to be fine, Lia. Either way, we’re okay.”
“What kind of woman could have just forgotten for days that she might be pregnant?” I ask, genuinely distressed. “Shouldn’t I have already panicked and sent you out for a test in the middle of the night or bought like ten boxes of them myself? What’s wrong with me?” I’m aghast that I’ve shoved aside something so important while I obsessed about my new father and Lucian. Was I so indifferent to the thoughts of a child that I couldn’t even concern myself with their possible existence?
I feel Lucian’s hand circle my neck, a move he favors when he wants my undivided attention. “Baby, stop it right now. I don’t think there’s some kind of behavior protocol you’re supposed to follow concerning a possible pregnancy. You’ve had a lot on your mind, and obviously, you haven’t had any symptoms that have demanded your attention. I think it’s much healthier that you’ve been able to put it aside instead of being a nervous wreck while awaiting your appointment. What good would that have done?”
“But, I didn’t have to wait, did I? I could have just bought a damned test and have taken it. Shouldn’t that have been a priority for me?” I’m starting to sound irrational, even to my own ears, but I can’t seem to stop the wave of despair that has fallen upon me. Deep down, I fear that this is some kind of indicator as to the type of mother I would be. Neglectful and self-centered just like my mother.
“Lia!” he snaps, bringing my focus back to him. “When exactly should you have fit that in? If women have been known to forget to take birth control while they’re upset over something, don’t you think it’s reasonable to assume you could forget to buy something like a pregnancy test after learning you have a father you never knew? Cut yourself some slack here…there was no harm done. I’m not sure I would have remembered it either if not for the appointment coming up in my reminders this morning.” When I finally nod, feeling somewhat better at his words, he drops his hand and points to my plate. “Now, finish eating. I worked my ass off on that breakfast.”
A giggle escapes as I look from him to the bag of bagels sitting beside the toaster oven. “You’re my hero,” I deadpan, trying to hold a straight face.
“Damn straight.” He snorts. I see the corners of his mouth twitch, but he keeps a steady expression as he returns his attention to the stock reports.
Our domesticated scene continues until Lucian looks at his watch and gets to his feet. “Where’s Sam?” I ask, used to Lucian’s driver ringing the doorbell, indicating that our breakfast time is over.
“I’m driving myself today.” He gives me a quick look before adding, “I figured you would be more comfortable if it were just you and me for your appointment this afternoon.”
“Oh,” I reply, strangely touched. “Couldn’t you have just had Sam drop you off here this afternoon?”
He taps my nose and then turns to put his jacket on. “Yes, but it seemed easier this way. Less nosy questions from him and all that.”
“I can go alone,” I offer, knowing he won’t agree with my suggestion. There is no aspect of my life that doesn’t interest Lucian. It’s a bit disconcerting that he knows my schedule better than I do most days. No doubt his phone calendar is full of alerts concerning me. I can’t bring myself to care, though. It’s nice to have someone in my life who gives a damn about my day-to-day routine.
He takes my hand, leading me through the apartment to the front door before he answers. “I want to go with you, especially this time.” I nod as he pulls me into his arms and simply holds me for a moment. He pulls back and kisses me, slow and easy, as if he doesn’t already have a million different business matters running through his mind. I love his ability to make me feel as if there isn’t anyone or anything more important than I am. I know without him telling me that he’d drop everything without question if I needed him. He’s proven that repeatedly.
“I want you with me, too.” As he turns to the door, I use the hand that he’s still holding and pull him back to me. His raises a quizzical brow and I’m suddenly shy. “I…just wanted to say that I love you.” I feel myself blushing which is surprising since this isn’t the first time I’ve said those words to him.
His face softens as he looks at me. “I love you too, baby,” he replies, and I want to melt in a puddle at his feet. Will I ever be immune to the effect this beautiful man has on me? “I’ll see you in a bit,” he adds, as he brushes my cheek lightly before opening the door and stepping out. As it closes behind him, I pinch myself, thinking once again that I must be dreaming.
I’m walking back toward the kitchen when I hear my phone buzzing on the table in the entryway. I dig it out of my purse and cringe when I see Rose’s name. I was supposed to call her last night and let her know that everything was okay with Lucian and me. Her first words, when I answer the call, are, “I’m getting myself a new best friend because you suck.”
“Er…good morning to you too, sunshine,” I say, in an attempt to lighten her up with a joke.
“You completely left me hanging. If you’d bothered to climb off that sex god of yours anytime last night, you would have noticed I called you like fifty times! I was on my way over there when Lucian finally returned the text I sent him and swore to me that everything was all right between you two.”
“You talked to Lucian last night? He didn’t mention you were trying to reach me,” I say, surprised.
“He said you were already asleep. I figured that was code for sex.” She snickers.
I laugh along with her not bothering to point out that Lucian would have never stopped to return a text message if we had been having sex. He must have heard his phone later on. He’s not a heavy sleeper. I figure that was largely because he was afraid of his usual nightmares about Cassie. I hope that now he’s talked to someone about what had happened that night, maybe he can finally begin to heal from the guilt and pain that has haunted him for so long. “I’m sorry for not calling you.” Knowing how badly my attack has affected those close to me, it was thoughtless of me to worry her like that.
“I’m going to forgive you this time,” she sighs, “but don’t do that again, chick. It’s all your fault that Max lost so much sleep last night.”
“Ah, sorry,” I say automatically before her last sentence sinks in. “Wait—what about Max?”
“First, I want you to know that I feel kind of bad about using you as an excuse to call him,” she says, sounding just a tad guilty. “I mean, I was really worried, so that wasn’t a lie. I thought that maybe he’d talked to Lucian about some lawyer stuff or something. When he said he hadn’t, I may have possibly exaggerated the level of my concern a bit…or a lot.”
“Oh God,” I groan, picturing poor Max trying to deal with an intentionally emotional Rose. The poor guy probably didn’t know what to do.
“It wasn’t that bad,” she protests weakly. “He should have been home shortly after midnight.”
“You made him come to your apartment?” I ask incredulously. How in the world did she pull that off? What was I even thinking? Stuff like this was child’s play to someone like Rose.
“He was resistant at first,” Rose admits, “but when I threw in the part about being scared of Jake, he cracked almost immediately.”
I feel like my head will explode as I try to keep up with the erratic flow of the conversation. “Jake? Why would you be scared of him? Has he been bothering you?” The last I’d heard, it was the other way around. Jake was running for his life from Rose since she’d discovered he was cheating on her. I mean, she’d shot out his tires with her pistol, broken into his apartment, and sewed up the leg holes on his pants and who knows what else. If I were he, I would have left the state—heck, maybe the country—and never look back.
“Nah.” She snorts, sounding as if the very thought is hilarious. “Max doesn’t know that though. You know how much alike he and Lucian are. They’re super overprotective of the little women. There were only so many times I could use the excuse that I needed to be talked out of doing something to Jake. He was starting to figure that out. When I called him all upset about not being able to reach you, he was so sweet and soothing. But, when I ran out of things to say, I panicked and blurted out that Jake has been bothering me with nasty texts and emails.”
Shaking my head in resignation, I point out, “You know that can be checked, don’t you? You don’t have any actual proof since it never happened. What’re you going to do if Max wants you to produce those threats so he can see them?”
“Oh, I covered that before he even got to my apartment. I used my burner phone to send myself a nasty message. I made sure I didn’t notice the text until Max was already there.”
“What’s a burner phone?” I ask, almost afraid to know.
“Um…a prepaid phone,” she says slowly as if I’ve asked something ridiculous.
I know she’ll consider this another dumb question, but I ask it anyway. “Why would you have a burner phone?”
“Daddy says that everyone should have an untraceable phone on hand. Our government tracks everything through our cell phones. My friends received jewelry for their sixteenth birthday—I got a pistol and burner phone.” Her tone is matter-of-fact as if we’re discussing the weather.
I’m not surprised at her father’s gift. I’ve come to think of him as some kind of modern Adolf Hitler or, at the very least, a close relative of his. What kind of man buys his daughter a membership in the National Rifle Association and gets angry with her if she doesn’t solve her problems with a gun? In the time that we’ve been roommates, I’ve never actually met him. I have seen her mother fleetingly and she dresses almost exactly as Rose. Demurely and expensively. Apparently, she took after both parents. Heck, maybe it was the required dress code in their house growing up. “That’s…different. Don’t feel bad,” I joke, “my mother didn’t even remember my birthday. I treated myself by going to the library and staying until they closed so at least it was a peaceful one for me.”
Rose makes a sound of disgust. “Ugh, that’s messed up. I hope your mother gets a really big, ugly girlfriend in prison.”
I laugh in agreement before getting back to our original conversation. “So, what happened with Max?”
Rose’s voice became livelier again as she says, “Well, I did the whole damsel-in-distress thing and he ate it up. Even I was impressed with my acting ability. He wants to take me to get a restraining order against Jake today. He was all macho, like ‘that bastard’s not getting near you.’ I was so turned on, I could barely stop myself from taking his big ol’ cock and—”
“STOP!” I snap, not wanting to hear where this is going. I’m never going to be able to look Max in the face again. And I sure don’t need to know about his size, although mentioning it to Lucian would drive him crazy. He does seem to feel a bit of jealousy where his lawyer is concerned. No, no, I couldn’t—just no!
“But, Lia…” Rose whines. “You’re my bestie and I want to share this with you. He’s like seriously hung. I have yet to see it, but when I grabbed it in his car, my fingers didn’t even come close to meeting!”
“Oh crap,” I groan, trying to block that mental image from my head.
Trying to change the subject, I ask, “What are you going to do about the restraining order? Since Jake hasn’t actually been bothering you, I don’t think I’d go through with that.”
“Yeah, I’ve thought of that,” she muses. “I’m just going to have to find a creative way to distract him today.”
“You’re scaring me.” I laugh, only half joking. If not for girl loyalty, I’d be warning Max to run for his life. I’ve seen a side of Rose that I’d only caught glimpses of while she dated Jake. I mean, I knew her family was a little out there, but I never had any room to talk considering my situation. The first time she mentioned that her daddy gave her a new gun almost every birthday, I thought she was joking. Now I know to never discount bits of information Rose throws out in passing. Eccentric or not, she has always been there for me and I love her. Who knows, maybe she is exactly what Max needs in his life. I would have never pictured myself falling in love and being loved in return by Lucian Quinn, either.
“I promise not to take it too far.” She giggles. “Oops, that’s Max on the other line. Gotta go!” Before I can even say goodbye, she ends the call. I shake my head and toss my phone down. I’m just turning away when I hear a text chime. Picking it back up, I notice a message from an unknown number. Curious, I open it and see an invitation to breakfast—actually a standing one from Lee Jacks. He lists the name of a restaurant and says he will be there every morning if I would like to join him. I feel a surge of anger roll through me and almost give into the urge to send him a nasty message in reply. Instead, I throw the phone back down, shaking my head. I stand uncertainly, needing something to take my mind off Lee’s sudden appearance in my life and doctor’s appointment this afternoon. Even though it doesn’t really need it, I decide to clean the apartment. What better distraction could there be than a toilet brush and a bottle of Windex?
Lucian
“Good morning, Luc,” Cindy chimes as I approach her desk. I raise a brow, wondering why she is so chipper. Usually, she requires a few cups of coffee to get to that level. When I get closer and notice Sam sitting in the chair to the side of her desk, I have my answer. Apparently, they’ve both benefited from my decision to drive myself to work this morning.
“Good morning, Cindy. Morning, Sam. Everything going okay?” Cindy nods and actually gives me a thumbs-up. This unusual morning cheer is beginning to give me the creeps. I have a feeling it has something to do with sex and that I do not want to think about.
“Everything’s good, boss,” Sam answers. “How’s Miss Lia doing?”
I know I have a sappy, whipped look on my face, but I can’t bring myself to care. Fuck it. They all know by now that she owns me and I have no problem with it. “She’s good. We’re fine,” I add. I know they’re probably wondering after the way I rushed out in a panic the previous day when Lee called to let me know about his conversation with Lia.
“Oh, Luc, that’s great,” Cindy beams at me. “I’d love to see her more. Can’t you talk her into working here with us?” Sam laughs softly under his breath at Cindy’s suggestion. I think he’s been around Lia enough to know how she would balk at the suggestion. When I’d taken it upon myself to deposit money into her checking account and resign her employment with Date Night, she’d been so pissed off. She’d busted into my office and insisted on working to pay me back. Cindy had unfortunately picked that moment to tell her that I was looking for a new housekeeper and Lia had seized upon it immediately. I hadn’t wanted her cleaning my apartment, but I had certainly become addicted to having her there and had been willing to do whatever it took to keep her.
When Cindy clears her throat, I realize I’ve been standing in a daze without answering her question. Sam is still smirking at me, which makes me want to do something evil in retaliation. “Lia has her hands full right now with finishing her degree. I’m not sure what her plans are beyond that, but we’ll see.” Turning to Sam, I try to keep a straight face as I say, “Marcus is going to be out this week since his wife had a baby yesterday. I assured him that I could spare you to cover for him.” I literally have to bite my lip now to keep from laughing. Marcus is the head of security and almost obsessive about his job. Sam has no problem with the job, but he knows well that Marcus will call and text him every hour on the hour to double-check that things are being run as he wants them. Marcus is a likable man and I love the attention to detail he gives his work. Unfortunately, covering for such a perfectionist is a real pain in the ass, as Sam well knows.
To his credit, Sam’s only reaction is a few rapid blinks of his eyes before he gets to his feet. “No problem, Luc, I’ll get on down there now.”
I clap my hand on his shoulder in appreciation. “Thanks, Sam. I’m sure Marcus will express his thanks soon…very soon.” Sam throws me a disgusted look over his shoulder before telling Cindy goodbye and walking toward the elevator.
When he’s gone, Cindy looks at me and shakes her head as if I’m a misbehaving child. Hell, that’s exactly what I am in this instant and we both know it. “Kevin was supposed to cover for Marcus, wasn’t he?” she asks dryly.
“Yep.” I chuckle before going past her to my office door. “I saw an opportunity and I took it, Cindy. You can’t hold that against me.” Her laughter follows me into my office before I close the door behind me.
I take a seat behind my desk and quickly get lost in emails and phone calls. It’s a relatively quiet morning for a change. Aidan flew out last night to woo a potential partner. Their software would be a perfect fit with ours and I’m counting on him to finalize the deal. I’ve already made the initial technical pitch, but Aidan is the man I send for the socializing aspect of the business. He is the closer for Quinn Software, and he’s damn brilliant at his job. Even with the latest distractions concerning Cassie, I know I can count on him to put his focus where it needs to be until the ink dries on the contract. He will, of course, visit Cassie on the way home and the fucking bastard that I am will hope her improved mental state has stalled and nothing else has changed.
I own the guilt I feel for the part I played in that night eight years ago, and even though I know I need to forgive both Cassie and myself, I don’t know if I ever will. I feel lighter after unburdening myself to Lia, but I’m far from ready to forget. I may be able to move past it somewhat with time, but I’ll never fully be able to grant myself absolution, so it’s very unlikely I can give that to Cassie, either. Without Lia in my life, I fear I would have eventually descended into a pit of bitterness and self-loathing that would have eaten away at my soul until there was nothing left. If the fucking cocaine didn’t kill me first. I had called Aunt Fae’s doctor friend on the ride to work this morning and made an appointment for later in the week with him to discuss a plan for battling my addiction. I won’t let my demons take me away from the woman I adore, no matter how hard the battle to get free of them may be.
As my mind turns to Lia, I think of our upcoming appointment this afternoon. It seems that we have both been hesitant to find out if she is pregnant ahead of her doctor’s appointment. Maybe we’re afraid of the answer. It’s so final—one way or another. Not knowing is easier to deal with. Despite the love between us, past events and horrors plague both Lia and I. She’s an embattled woman with the spirit of a warrior.
My phone buzzes a moment later and Cindy says in a puzzled tone of voice, “Max is here to see you.” When he comes through the door, I understand her confusion. My normally immaculately dressed lawyer is wearing jeans, a T-shirt, and boots. He also looks like he hasn’t shaved yet. Hell, I hate to even ask if he’s showered. I lean back in my chair and wait for an explanation. I think I deserve that much when my employee and friend shows up looking like a poster from America’s Most Wanted.
He literally falls into a chair in front of my desk and drops his face into his hands. “I need the day off.” He finally looks up.
“Obviously,” I reply, not attempting to hide my amusement. “Are we talking the flu here or something more dire?” Going by his appearance, I’d put money on the second. He’s just usually so…neat for lack of a better word.
“It’s that fucking woman,” he snaps. “I swear you and Lia have ruined my life. I used to have some kind of control, but she’s chipping away at that bit by bit. I might as well just go ahead and gift wrap my balls because that’s next.”
I find myself choking back a laugh, remembering I’d had almost the same thought last night. It seems that suddenly my friends and I are afraid of women turning us into pussies. I don’t bother sharing that tidbit with him. He’s too deep in denial right now. I’ve been there, so I know the signs well. Even though I know the answer, I ask the question anyway just to be an asshole. Fuck, sometimes even I get off on that. “So, who are we talking about here? Have you met someone new?”
He shoots me a look that says he knows I’m screwing with him. “When would I possibly have the time or the energy for that? I’ve been too busy babysitting Lia’s crazy friend!”
“What’s she done now?” I sigh. “I trust she stopped just short of actually shooting Jake?” Rose was beginning to give new meaning to the whole “woman scorned” thing. I can’t imagine how her ex-boyfriend ever got brave enough to dip his dick into another woman. Maybe he didn’t know what she was capable of at that point. I certainly hadn’t.
“She called me last night and was upset because Jake had been threatening her.”
I start laughing. I can’t even fathom Rose as the cowering little woman. Of her and Jake, she’s solidly wearing the pants—and carrying the firearms. I’m just surprised that Max actually fell for the damsel-in-distress routine. The man would have his own mother crying for mercy in the courtroom for fuck’s sake. “And she had some proof of this?”
“She got a text message from him while I was there—or from someone at least. I told her that we would go get a restraining order against him this morning.”
I look him up and down before asking, “You’re going like that? Aren’t you afraid they’ll assume you’re the one after her?”
He ignores my jab at his appearance. “I called her this morning to see what time she wanted me to pick her up and she told me that she just can’t do that to him. She wanted me to come over so we could talk about it. I was actually going to do just that when it hit me. She’s playing me. When I bailed her out of jail the last time, the cops said Jake was terrified of her. They had a big laugh over the whole thing. Said he was screaming for them to keep her away from him. So, why would he have suddenly gotten up the nerve to piss her off further? It just doesn’t make sense at all.”
I shake my head, unable to believe he’s sitting here saying something so unbelievably stupid. She’s completely done some kind of mind-fuck on him. “Man, you need to get it together. Double-check to make sure Jake isn’t actually bothering her, which I highly doubt, and then either jump or cut ties.”
“Jump or cut ties?” he asks. “What in the hell does that mean?”
I resist the urge to roll my eyes. Aidan would pick up on that in a minute. I forget that Max takes things more literally than Aidan. “It means that you’re obviously attracted to Rose. Either embrace all of that crazy and see where it leads or walk away. You and I both know that if you wanted her out of your life, she would have already been gone.”
Max gives me a disgusted look before snapping, “For fuck’s sake, Luc, I’m not the Godfather. I can’t just make people disappear at will.” We both know he’s full of it. Max is like ice when he wants to be. I’ve seen him in action many times through the years. He is civilized and diplomatic—until he isn’t. The fact he hasn’t said enough to Rose to have her cursing him and going in the other direction lets me know he doesn’t really want her gone—even if he isn’t ready to accept it yet. He’s playing the game that she started and maybe he can’t stop. A part of me had wanted to run when I’d met Lia as well. Denial will only get you so far, though. Max is fraying at the seams, and if Rose is as smart as I think she is, then she knows it. Checkmate, my friend, I want to say, but I wisely keep it to myself. He wouldn’t believe me at this point anyway. He’s grasping at straws as he feels his ironclad resolve wavering. He’s afraid to become involved with her and it’s more than the fear of her unsettling love of guns. It seems that no one within my inner circle is capable of loving easily. We all have our demons and Max appears to be struggling with his. It could be that Rose is what he needs right now. It sure as fuck wouldn’t be boring.
“I’m the last one to give advice,” I begin, “but try to see beyond the smoke screens where she’s concerned. I realize she looks a certain way, but then acts in a completely different manner. That much alone is enough to confuse the hell out of anyone. She’s been there for Lia though which tells me something about who she is.”
“I’m not looking for what you have, Luc,” he protests weakly.
“Neither was I, Max, but I wouldn’t change it. I’m not saying that you need to ask her to marry you, but why not just let it ride for a while. How about not pissing her off, though. I don’t want any bomb threats because of you.”
Max cringes and gets to his feet. “I’m going to head home and change clothes. I’ll be back in a few hours.” When he reaches the door, he gives me a pained look and adds, “I would appreciate if you didn’t telling Aidan about this. He’d enjoy it way too much.”
I grin and nod my agreement before he leaves. I’m afraid Aidan has no room to heckle someone else for loving a crazy woman.