Holy fuck.
That was the first thing that burst into my head as I woke up later that morning. I’d just slept with my brother’s girl. Repeatedly.
It wasn’t just Jacob I’d betrayed though. It was Cora too. My betrayal toward her was the worst because she trusted me and yesterday . . . last night . . . she’d shared things with me, she’d shared her body with me, thinking I was Jacob. All of these years, I’d despised my brother for not realizing what a great thing he had in her, and here I’d just pretended to be him and slept with her.
It was official. I was going to hell. Every kind that had been invented and every one that existed. But who was I kidding? I’d been in hell for years. If this was what hell felt like, I was never packing my bags and leaving.
But I knew that when I told her, she’d hate me. She’d never look at me or speak to me again. Accepting that made me content to delay the inevitable, if only for five more minutes. Especially with the way she was holding onto my arm, cradling it to her chest like a child would cling to a stuffed bear for comfort.
As I lay there pretending like this moment wasn’t coming to an imminent, disastrous end, I wondered what was going on back home. Had Jacob resurfaced? If so, had he put the pieces together yet? If he had, he’d be on the next plane he could catch to get here to kick my ass. Before that happened, I needed to tell her. I guessed it would go over marginally better than the man she thought she’d married showing up with murder in his eyes and a bare ring finger.
I needed to check my phone, to see how many missed calls and texts I’d gotten so I knew what was coming and how much longer I had. Trying to shimmy and slide out from Cora’s embrace without waking her took about fifty different maneuvers, but it worked. She never even stirred as I crawled out of the bed where I’d realized the majority of every fantasy I’d dared to dream. That was where they’d have to stay though.
My phone was still tucked into the back pocket of my pants, which had been torn off somewhere in the middle of the room and had gotten kicked into . . .
The bathroom, I discovered after a minute of searching the cabin. Convenient, I thought as I closed the door so I could have some privacy to see just what kind of shit storm was brewing.
A glance at my phone revealed not one missed call or text. Not a single one. Not even from the hospital, which was rare since I was used to fielding at least a few daily calls from my coworkers and administrator. I exhaled, rubbing at my day’s worth of stubble. The silence must mean no one knew yet. Jacob was still “indisposed.” God only knew how much longer he’d remain in that state.
I wished it could be for the rest of forever. Because maybe if Jacob never surfaced from his stupor to realize he’d missed his own damn wedding, and if Cora never figured out I was the other brother, we could all just live happily ever after.
For a whole day and a half.
I drove my palm into the bathroom wall as I accepted there was no good way any of this could turn out. No matter what happened or how Cora found out, it was going to be catastrophic.
From chart-topping high to record-setting low.
Best day ever? Nice knowing you. Time to move over and get acquainted with worst day ever.
I was so consumed with my thoughts that I didn’t register the sound of knocking at first. It was far off, too inconsequential for me to give much headspace to it in my present state of the-world-is-over.
“Breakfast. Thank goodness. I’m starving.” Cora’s sleepy voice cut through some of my haze, but it wasn’t until I heard her padding around the room that I registered what was happening. “Why don’t I let our breakfast in, then I’ll join you in the shower in a sec. Do you have money for a tip in your wallet?”
The moment she said it, I started moving. Fast. It wasn’t fast enough, I discovered, after throwing the bathroom door open to find Cora standing beside the nightstand, a white sheet twisted around her body, staring at my open wallet in confusion.
Shit. So not how I’d planned this going. Not that any of my plans had been all that impressive.
“Why do you have Matt’s driver’s license?” Cora blinked at the ID like she was trying to make sure what she was seeing was real.
I didn’t know what to say. She still thought I was Jacob.
She slid a couple of cards out of their slots, each one drawing another crease into her forehead. “And why do you have Matt’s credit cards too?”
In the background, I could make out the sound of knocking from whatever poor person was trying to deliver our breakfast with no idea what kind of storm was developing behind that closed door.
“Jacob?”
It wasn’t until she looked at me again that she realized it. It wasn’t until she saw whatever look was on my face that she figured out what Matt’s wallet was doing in her hands the first morning of her honeymoon.
“Oh my god.” The wallet dropped to the floor as she backed away from me. “Please, no. Please god no.” She was whispering, almost like she was talking to herself, tears starting to streak down her cheeks as she continued separating herself from where I stood frozen in the bathroom doorway.
“Cora, please . . .” I swallowed, realizing I’d just had everything I’d ever wanted and was losing it all, all at once.
“Matt?” It sounded like less of a question and more of an accusation. “Oh my god. It is you, isn’t it?”
She didn’t wait for me to confirm it—I supposed she saw swimming in my eyes all she needed to be convinced of my guilt. I managed to move a whole step before I watched her hand reach for the front door.
“Cora, let me explain.” I couldn’t let her go. Not before I explained why I’d done it. Not before I apologized for what I’d done. Not before I handed her a knife to stab my heart or cut off my damn dick. Whatever it took to prove just how sorry I was that I was so impossibly hopeless when it came to her.
“Let you explain?” she repeated with disgust, looking at me like she didn’t recognize me. Or more like she couldn’t stand the sight of me. “Let you explain why it’s you I’m waking up to the morning after my wedding? Instead of Jacob?” She let that settle between us, successfully making me feel like the piece of shit I knew I was. “Whatever your explanation is, I don’t want to hear it. I just want to get out of here. Away from you. Off of this goddamned island.”
She had the door thrown open and herself through it before the look of surprise could form on the server’s face. He was still waiting outside the door, a covered tray in hand.
“Cora, wait!” I shouted, chasing after her.
She didn’t wait though. She didn’t even look once over her shoulder to see if I was following her. She rushed down the stairs and sprinted down the beach, the sheet billowing around her as she ran. She disappeared from sight while I stood at the top of the porch, watching her go. The story of my goddamned life.
I’d forgotten all about the server who’d brought us the breakfast order I’d put in last night until he cleared his throat. “Would you like me to leave this on the table, sir?”
When I looked back over my shoulder to find him clearly trying to avoid looking in my general area, I remembered my present state. My naked present state. “Yeah, that works.”
I turned to go back into the cabin. I didn’t take the time to cover myself with my hand or the throw pillow resting on the chair right inside the door. I just hustled to gather up my clothes spread around the room, tugging them on as I came to them. I needed to find her. I needed to get to her before she left this island. I needed a chance to explain, because I knew if she left before I did, I’d never get that chance. She’d avoid me at all costs from now on. She wouldn’t attend any gatherings I might be at; she’d cross the road if she saw me walking down the same sidewalk as her. Hiding in Miami would be much easier than here on this island, especially while she was wearing nothing but a hotel sheet.
I needed to find her.
“Sir?”
Even though I was mostly dressed now, the server was still not about to make eye contact. Not that I could blame him after the scene he’d just witnessed.
“Yeah?” I stuffed my damn wallet into my pocket as I shoved my feet into my shoes.
“A storm warning has been issued for the island. Nothing to be too alarmed over, but the hotel’s letting all of the guests know.”
My brow furrowed, for the first time registering what time of the year it was and where Brother Dearest had elected to bring his new bride on their honeymoon. Because who didn’t think Caribbean when they thought of October?
Probably explained why they’d had an extra cabin available so last minute.
“A storm as in a hurricane?” I asked, my gaze shifting out the open door. The skies were blue, and other than the gentle breeze playing with the palm leaves, that was all the wind to be found.
“It hasn’t been classified a hurricane yet. It has only just started to form and it could change directions. Or die out completely before it hits land, so please don’t let it worry you too much. The hotel wanted our guests to be aware, but we’ll keep everyone up to date.” The server managed a contrived smile as he backed out of the room after arranging two breakfasts at two empty chairs. “Just relax and enjoy your honeymoon, Mr. Adams.”
I almost laughed at that. Relaxing was not in the plans for me any time soon. “Thanks for letting me know. Now if you’ll excuse me . . .” I put aside all worries about some possible hurricane forming out on the ocean this island was smack in the middle of. That storm paled in comparison to the one I was already immersed in.
“Everything okay?” The server asked as he followed me through the door, glancing at the spot where Cora had disappeared into the palms.
“Not exactly. She just found out she married the wrong guy.” Literally. I slid out a twenty to give him. “If you see a pretty girl in a white sheet . . .”
“I know who might be interested in her whereabouts.” The server took the tip then jogged down the stairs and headed in one direction while I went the other.
Cora was fast, but she was barefoot and wearing a bulky sheet. She couldn’t have gotten far, I told myself, even though I knew better. I wouldn’t put it past her to go slide into a packed mass of people if she thought it would keep me from finding her. She could be anywhere, and she had a few minute lead on me.
Part of me wanted to rush to the airport to cut her off, because I knew that would be her eventual destination. She’d want out of here via the first flight she could find. But I didn’t want to have this conversation in an airport, where security would probably intervene before she got her second punch thrown. Cora had one hell of a right hook. I’d never been on the receiving end, but I’d watched Patrick Henry get knocked unconscious the Monday after Winter Formal, freshmen year. I’d been looking for him after I heard the rumors he’d spread about just how much Cora had put out that night. Cora beat me to him though, and I guessed she had more right than I did to take Patrick Henry down after what he’d said. But that hadn’t stopped me from sweeping his feet out beneath him the next day as we passed in the hallway, half of his face swollen from Cora’s fist.
I wanted her to hit me. I hoped she would. I might not have been Patrick Henry, but fuck, what I’d done put me way beneath him.
I tried to change my thoughts. They weren’t helping, and I had the rest of my life to make myself feel like shit. I needed a clear head right now to find her and explain why I’d done it. I needed all my mental faculties firing on all engines when and if I found her. I wasn’t expecting her to understand why I’d done it, but I needed her to know exactly why I had. It wasn’t forgiveness I was looking for; it was something else.
But for right now, I just needed to find her.