Chapter Eighteen
“I won’t take up much of your time,” Tess promised. “Can we sit?”
“Of course.” Julia sat on one sofa, smoothing out her dress as Tess sat on the sofa across from her. The coffee table was something of a buffer between them.
Tess launched right in. “If my brother knew I was back here, he’d be really pissed. I told him I was going to the ladies’ room. But I wanted to see you.”
Julia worked to keep her features neutral, though her insides hummed with soft anxiety.
“First of all, I just have to say—you have an incredible voice,” Tess said. “You’re wonderful. Listening to you and watching you sing is such a pleasure.”
“Thank you,” Julia said.
“You own your audience,” Tess continued. “You know how to work a room. Your presence is powerful, electric.” Her bright blue eyes held Julia’s. “But you know that. You’re that good. That’s why Dane hired you. Out of all the singers he saw, the only one he knew who had star quality was you.”
Julia nodded, keeping quiet, waiting to see where Tess was going.
“I know you and he are together.”
Julia simply nodded again. He’d told her.
“I hope that doesn’t bother you,” Tess added.
“Not at all,” Julia said. “I know you and he are very close. It doesn’t surprise me that he’d confide in you.”
Tess nodded at that and crossed her impossibly long legs. “He’s not just one of my big brothers, he’s one of my best friends. I know him so well. Sometimes, better than he knows himself. For instance . . . I knew he had feelings for you even before he did.”
Julia’s heart skipped a beat.
“He does, you know. I mean, I don’t know how you can’t see it.” Tess’s gaze was both gentle yet unrelenting. “But I know a kindred soul when I see one, so I thought maybe you needed to hear that from an outside party.”
Kindred soul? Julia’s brows puckered. “I’m sorry, you just lost me.”
“A woman who’s been through hell.” Tess’s voice was quiet, but the words pelted like stones. “I’ve had my heart torn out and shredded. I’ve had my share of trust issues with men. I know someone who’s strong on the outside because she has to be.” Her gaze didn’t waver. “I know that’s forward, but tell me I’m wrong, and I’ll go now.”
Julia’s mouth was dry. The regal, elegant Tess Harrison had had her heart shredded? Related to her? She cleared her throat and murmured, “You’re not wrong.”
Tess nodded slowly. “That’s unfortunate. But I didn’t think I was wrong.” She cocked her head to study Julia, a familiar gesture—Dane often did the same thing. “I don’t know what happened last night between you two, but Dane’s way off his game tonight. He’s upset. He’s confused. He’s hurting. You’re not the only one.”
Julia sucked in a breath. On the one hand, it was none of Tess’s business. On the other, hearing this was more than interesting . . . it was . . . affirming, in a way.
“I’m not trying to interfere,” Tess continued. “What goes on between you and Dane is not my business. I just . . .” She pursed her lips, searching for words. “I just want to help, and I don’t know how.”
Oh my God. Julia’s insides liquefied. Tess wasn’t there to berate her. She was being kind. “Why do you want to help me?” she managed.
“Don’t you know?” Tess smiled softly. “Because my brother cares about you. And I care about him. So if you two need a third party to kind of . . . give you a push . . . I’m jumping in to do that. But I don’t want to overstep. I’m sorry if I am.” Tess blinked, and a quick laugh slipped out. “No, you know what? That’s not true. I’m not sorry.”
Julia couldn’t help but laugh too. Warmth slid through her. “I like you.”
“Oh, good.” Tess’s smile broadened, and Julia marveled at her. She was as stunningly gorgeous as her brother. Those Harrisons had some magic gene pool. “I guess all I’m trying to say is . . . his feelings for you are genuine. What he doesn’t say, I can see as plain as day.” Tess’s mouth twisted for a second. “I know his reputation with women . . . I understand why you’d be doubtful . . . but I’m telling you, I’ve never seen him like this over a woman. He’s never cared before. He cares about you. That means something. Hopefully, it means something to you, too.”
Julia stared, hoping her outsides seemed cool and not as chaotic as her insides.
“Okay.” Tess suddenly got to her feet. “I’ve interfered enough. I’m going now, before my darling brother thinks I fell into a toilet and sends a search party after me.”
A surprised laugh burst from Julia as she stood.
Tess grinned, but said, “Will you think about what I said? Just consider it.”
“Consider what?”
“That his feelings for you are real. And then, what you’re going to do about that. If you’re going to let him in . . .” Tess’s gaze held. “. . . or let him go. Because if he loves you, and you don’t love him, it’s not fair for you to stay undecided and string him along. Let him in close, or end it. For both your sakes.”
Julia froze, stunned speechless. Her skin prickled with a chill.
“Yeah, that was totally interfering,” Tess muttered to herself. “Well. I’ll see myself out. Thank you for listening to what I had to say.” She gave a small smile. “For what it’s worth, I hope it works out. You’re the only woman I’ve ever seen keep him on his toes like this. It’s good for him. You’re good for him. And he’d be good for you, too. He’s one of the best men I know.” Turning away, she crossed the dressing room in a few long strides, closing the door behind her.
Julia sank to the sofa to think over everything Tess had dropped in her lap.
“Where were you?” Dane asked when Tess retook her seat beside him. “I was getting ready to send out a search party.”
Tess laughed out loud, thinking of what she’d said to Julia only minutes before. Did she know her brother or what? “I’m fine.”
“Good. Listen . . .” Dane scrubbed a hand over his face. “I’m drunk. I don’t like to be drunk in my own hotel. And Julia won’t talk to me tonight, that’s pretty clear.”
“Dane—”
“I know this is ungentlemanly of me, but I want to leave. Julia wants space, I’m going to respect that and give it to her. But I can’t take looking at her up there. . . .” He shook his head and hissed out a frustrated sigh. “I’m spent. I’m sorry to abandon you, Tess, but I gotta get out of here.”
Tess looked her brother over. Her heart winced for him; he was unhappy. And maybe it would be good to let Julia think over the things she’d said before facing Dane, especially if he was drunk and upset. “Let’s go.” She grabbed her clutch and stood.
“What?” Dane got to his feet. “You can stay, you were enjoying the show—”
“I was. But I caught one set. We don’t need to stay for the second. It’s after midnight, I’m tired. Let’s go.” She smiled for punctuation. “Come on.”
With a grateful grin, he put his arm around her shoulders and they walked out of the lounge. He didn’t look back.
Julia and Kelvin got back onstage to kick off their second set. She smiled brightly at the audience as they applauded and thanked them for staying, then glanced over to where Dane and Tess were sitting. The table was empty, and a waitress was clearing their empty glasses.
Julia’s stomach dropped. A rush of wild emotion rose up in her throat and she swallowed it down. She didn’t have even two seconds to let Dane’s sudden departure or lack of good-bye affect her. She had a show to do. Later, in private, she’d let herself speculate what his leaving without a word to her meant.
On Saturday evening, Julia got to the hotel a half hour earlier than usual. Instead of entering through the bar as she always did, she went through the smoky glass doors at the main entrance and headed to the main reception desk.
“Hi, Julia,” said Mina, the evening shift manager. “You need anything?”
“No, thanks,” Julia smiled back. “I was just wondering if Mr. Harrison’s been here at all today?”
Mina’s brows scrunched. “I haven’t seen him at all, but I came in at four. Let me check for you.” She picked up the house phone and made a quick call. As she replaced it in the cradle, she shook her head. “No, he hasn’t been in at all today. Do you want to leave a message of some kind? I’ll make sure it gets to him.”
“No, no, that’s fine. It’s nothing urgent. Thanks though.” Julia walked away from the desk, through the magnificently stylish lobby toward the back, where the bar and lounge were. Her instincts were screaming at her that she’d screwed up, that he was giving her space not only because she’d asked for it, but because he wanted to. He hadn’t called or texted since yesterday afternoon. The silence was deafening.
She pushed open the door to the bar and relished the dimmer lights, the cooler air, and the relative quiet. The bar didn’t usually start really filling up until after seven. She’d been hoping to catch Dane and try to talk to him, but it looked like that wasn’t going to happen. She entered her dressing room, dropped her bag on the floor by the vanity, and sat on the sofa. Then, with a heavy sigh, she lay down and stretched out. Closing her eyes, she tried to breathe deep, slow breaths and meditate to calm her jittery nerves.
She’d messed up and she knew it. Dane had held her as she cried in a heap on a bathroom floor, and she’d shown her gratitude by pushing him away? She had to break this pattern. It was destructive, and she wasn’t only hurting herself, but Dane, too. She’d seen the flash in his eyes. When she’d rebuffed him, he looked pained. And that wasn’t fair. She knew deep down that he genuinely cared about her. If she’d doubted it before, she couldn’t after Thursday night. Not after he’d scraped her off the tiled floor and into his arms, holding her tight and whispering sweetness as he tried to soothe her . . . that wasn’t an act. Those were all the actions of someone who cared.
Her eyes opened to stare up at the ceiling. The next time she saw Dane, she had to try to fix things, and to apologize. To just talk honestly to him. Not with flirtatious banter, not with the distraction of sex, but a scary, open discussion. She had to, before she lost him. And one of the only things she was sure of was that she didn’t want to lose him. She just hoped it wasn’t already too late.
Later that night, Dane entered the bar and lounge at five minutes to ten. He hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Julia all day, but hadn’t called or texted her. She wanted space, he’d give it to her. But he couldn’t stay away.
He loved her too much.
He was tired of the games. The holding back, the push and pull. He loved her, and tonight, he’d tell her that. After trying to drink her away last night without success, then thinking about her all damn day, he couldn’t see the point in not telling her anymore. Maybe it would change things for the better. Maybe she’d bolt. He wasn’t sure. But he’d swallow his pride, take a deep breath, and just tell her how he felt. And also tell her that she had to stop pushing him away. And that he wanted to be with her, only her. That he’d never felt this way about anyone before.
After the show.
He sat at the bar, not taking a table in the lounge, keeping his distance so he wouldn’t distract her. And, he could admit to himself, so he could watch her from afar, free to stare at her as much as he wanted.
Tonio came to his side and they shook hands. “How’s it goin’, Boss?”
“Going just fine. You, sir?”
“Same.” Tonio waved over a bartender to take Dane’s drink order.
“Sit with me,” Dane said.
Tonio quirked a brow, but a pleased grin spread over his face. “Okay, but you know I don’t drink on the job.” He maneuvered his huge frame on the barstool next to him.
After the bartender moved away, Tonio asked in a teasing tone, “Why are you sitting back here tonight? Slumming?”
Dane laughed. “No one slums in my hotels.”
Tonio laughed back. “True.” He edged closer. “Just saying . . . that Liam never came back. Haven’t seen him; no one has. Think he’s gone for good.”
Dane gave a nod of acknowledgment.
The bartender set a dark beer in front of Dane and a ginger ale in front of Tonio.
“Labor Day next weekend already,” Tonio said after a swallow of soda. “Can you believe it? Where’d the summer go?”
“No idea,” Dane replied. He picked up his beer and sipped. “I’ll be gone most of September. Trips to my other hotels.” He slanted his head bartender a look. “Keep an eye on her while I’m gone, okay?”
“You don’t have to ask,” Tonio said quietly. “Of course I will.”
The sound of applause traveled back from the lounge area as Julia and Kelvin stepped onstage. Dane’s insides warmed and his heart gave a little squeeze at the sight of her. Tonight she wore a strapless dark purple gown that displayed her creamy skin up top, but floated all the way down to her ankles. Her hair was up in some twisty bun, sleek and sophisticated. Dane had a flash of taking the pins out and running his fingers through all that soft, thick red hair as he kissed her. They hadn’t slept together in a few weeks now; he missed her. He wanted her. His body tightened and jumped to life just looking at her. With a wry grin, he shook his head at himself. Even when he wanted to shake her for her stubbornness, he still longed for her. Amazing, the power she had over him. The pull he felt whenever he saw her. His woman. His, dammit.
Kelvin started to play, Julia started to sing, and Dane sat back and enjoyed it.
When the set was over, Dane decided to go talk to her on her break. He couldn’t wait until after the second set. Just to ask if she’d see him after the whole show was over, so they’d have time to talk at length. He shifted off his stool and made his way through the crowd, trying to ignore the knot of tension in his chest.
She had to hear him out. He had to tell her how he felt. He couldn’t hold it back anymore, and the more he’d thought about it all day, the more he’d realized he didn’t want to. He wanted her to know he loved her . . . that he wanted to build something with her, that the no-strings rule had been broken and discarded long ago. That he cared. His heart thumped in his ribs as he approached the back of the lounge.
As he got to the hallway that led to the dressing room, most of the noise of the crowd became muffled. The quiet of the hallway was almost strange. But he’d only taken two steps when he saw a dark-haired man in a light blue button down and jeans standing in front of the dressing room door. Not doing anything . . . just standing there, staring at the door.
Alarms went off in Dane’s head. Another admirer? Or another admirer intending to harm Julia, like Liam? With stealth, he moved to stand right behind the man and said in a hard tone, “Do you have business here?”
The man jumped in surprise and whirled around to face Dane. It wasn’t a man; it was a very young man. A kid. Maybe twenty-one, if that. His eyes flew wide, as if caught doing something he shouldn’t have. “I—well, not exactly.” His voice wavered a bit. “I was—I wanted to talk to Julia Shay.”
“Do you have an appointment with her?” Dane asked. He had two or three inches on the stranger, and stared him down with the steeliest glare he could muster.
“No.”
“Then you need to make one. She doesn’t receive surprise visits.”
“How do you know?” the young man challenged.
Dane’s jaw tightened. “Because I’m her boss. You can send her a message through me, if you like.”
“I just wanted to talk to her,” the guy said. “And I really do think she’d want to talk to me.”
“You do, huh?” Dane eyed the kid. He could take him easily if he had to. “Does she even know you?”
The young man’s expression turned strange. Something like discomfort swept across his features. “Yes . . . well . . . not exactly, but yes.”
“I see.” Dane didn’t like it. Something was off. His gut was humming like crazy. “Tell you what. Leave me your information, and I’ll make sure she gets it. And then you can leave.”
“Since when is a boss so involved in his employee’s personal life?” the young man asked with a surly edge.
“Since the safety of all my employees is my responsibility,” Dane ground out. “Now give me your message, or leave. I don’t want you bothering her, she still has another set to do.”
The door to the dressing room opened and Kelvin stood there. “Thought I heard voices. What’s going on?”
The younger man turned and tried to walk into the dressing room.
Quick as a flash, Dane grabbed him by the arms and slammed his back against the wall. “What do you think you’re doing?” he shouted in his face. The young man struggled, but Dane was stronger. He locked one arm across the man’s chest to hold him in place, slamming him again as he did so.
“Should I call security?” Kelvin asked, looking alarmed but ready to assist.
“Absolutely,” Dane growled, not taking his eyes off the young man’s face.
“I don’t want to hurt her!” the man cried. “I just want to talk to her!”
“Heard that one before,” Dane rumbled, holding him hard against the wall.
Julia appeared in the doorway. “What’s going on?” she asked. Then she looked at the younger man and gasped loudly. Her features froze in shock. “No . . . it can’t be.”
“Mom?” the young man pleaded. “Mom, it’s me. Get this guy off me!”
Dane froze. Mom?
“Dane, let him go!” Julia yelled. “That’s my son!”
Dane looked into the kid’s eyes, wide with fright. Hazel, with gold flecks. Christ, he had her eyes. He released him and took two steps back, trying to calm himself.
“What the hell were you doing?” Julia demanded of Dane.
“I thought I was protecting you,” he snapped, unable to take his eyes off the young man. He’d thought her son was maybe in his late teens. This was a grown man. God, how young had she been when she’d had him? And what was he doing here now, after all this time? Did she know he was coming? Questions raced through Dane‘s mind, but when he looked at Julia, he saw incredulous fury. Ah shit.
She turned her back to him and faced her son. She looked at him for a long beat and murmured tremulously, “Colin? It’s really you?”
“Yeah. It’s me.” He stared back at her. “You knew what I looked like. How?”
“Once in a while, I sneak peeks at your Facebook page to keep up on you,” she blurted out. “I mean, I can’t see details . . . but at least I can see some pictures . . .”
Dane’s heart winced at the vulnerable note in her voice. He and Kelvin watched silently as she wrung her hands, obviously not knowing what to do. “Why are you here?” she asked. “I’m so happy to see you, but I’m just . . . I’m in shock, I’m sorry.”
“I’m sure,” Colin said, genuine regret in his tone. “You, uh . . . you called Dad yesterday.”
“I did,” she said, nodding. “He actually told you I called?”
“No . . .” Colin glanced at the two men not leaving Julia’s side and swallowed hard before looking back to her. “He doesn’t even know I’m here.”
“Why? What happened?” Julia asked.
“When you called, it rang a few times but he wasn’t picking up the phone, so I did. At the same time he did.” Colin’s face contorted with something between sadness and rage. “I didn’t hang up when I realized it was you. I was curious. I wanted to know why you called him. And I heard the whole conversation. Everything, Mom. Everything you said.”
Julia gasped and clapped her hands over her mouth.
“When Dad hung up, I confronted him,” Colin said. “We had a huge fight . . . but he admitted parts of it were true. Enough for me to know what you’d said was more than likely the complete truth. And I started wondering what else Dad’s lied to me about over the years, about you. You sounded so . . . and I just . . .” He raked his hands through his wavy reddish-brown hair. “I had to see you. You texted me and said maybe I should come see you sing some time. So I looked you up on the Internet and found you. I flew here this afternoon. I’m staying here, at the hotel.”
“Oh wow,” Kelvin murmured, leaning against the doorframe for support.
“You’ve been here?” Julia almost squeaked. “For hours?”
“Yeah. I went out, walked around, got some dinner. And I’ve been waiting for your show.” Colin’s mouth twisted in a combination of sheepishness and regret. His eyes bore into hers. “I wanted to talk to you. I have so many questions. . . .”
From behind her, Dane could see Julia’s whole body was trembling. He reached out and gently placed his hands on her shoulders.
She shook them off and turned to him, her eyes wet with unshed tears. “You had him up against the wall?” Her accusatory tone felt like a slap. “Why didn’t you just ask him who he was? He might have left, and I never would’ve seen him! My God, Dane, what were you thinking?”
Stunned, Dane blurted out, “After what happened with Liam, I wasn’t taking any chances. I was trying to—”
“But you could have hurt him!” she said, wide-eyed.
“I wasn’t trying to hurt him,” Dane ground out. “I thought I was protecting you. Why aren’t you hearing me?” His heart pounded as his blood surged. He grasped immediately that Julia was too emotional right then, that there’d be no reasoning with her. He wanted to be there for her, but clearly, she wasn’t going to let him. Yet again.
Something snapped inside. The blood rushed red hot throughout his body. “Julia, I’m thrilled for you that your son’s finally come to see you. But I didn’t know who he was. I just saw some strange guy at your door, and I was trying to protect you. To help you. And as usual, you’re just defensive and shoving me away.”
Her eyes went wide and she paled. She opened her mouth to speak, but he cut her off, holding up a hand in a harsh halting gesture. “You know what? You obviously don’t want anything real from me, and I’m done trying to give it, only to be pushed off. You want me away from you? I’m gone. You finally got your way, Red. There you go. I’m done.” Before he said anything else he regretted, Dane turned and stormed down the hallway, through the lounge, through the bar, and slammed open the doors, getting out of the hotel altogether.
He had no idea what had just happened. His head was spinning, his heart pounded against his ribs, and his blood roared in his ears. All he knew was he was angry and miserable. Hurt. Adrenaline streaming through him, he stepped into the street and hailed a taxi. He had to get the hell away from there.