Matt didn’t say anything for a good ten minutes after Margot left, choosing instead to spend his time glowering into his bright green drink. Presumably, he was deep in thought, but we probably looked like one of those old married couples who’ve run out of things to say to each other.
But we did have to talk, and I sensed that he knew that based on the fact that he sent Margot home. So even though it was uncomfortable to sit there while he stewed in a bar surrounded by jolly revelers, it still felt like progress.
In his own way, he was trying to come around. I just wished I knew what he was thinking so I could attempt to ease his concerns. After all, not only did I not want to let Margot down, but I knew Matt’s state of mind when we parted would undoubtedly influence his parents’ reaction to the news.
“I’m sorry I punched you,” he said finally, lifting his eyes to mine and leaning back in his chair.
“It’s no big deal. I’ve dated girls who hit harder than that.”
He scowled at me like he was offended, concealing whether he appreciated my effort to lighten the mood.
“Seriously, though,” I said, not wanting our standoff to last all night. “If you have to punch me in the face every time you see me from now on—if that’s what it takes for you accept this—I still want to be with her.”
“Don’t be stupid. It didn’t even feel good to hit you the first time.”
“That’s a relief.”
“I thought it would,” he said with a disappointed shrug. “But no cigar.”
“Speaking of cigars, Ben’s willing to throw in some Cubans if Chuck wants to have his bachelor party at Club Abbott.”
His eyebrows lifted for a split second before he remembered he was mad. “Don’t change the subject.”
I raised my palms in surrender. “I just didn’t want to forget to mention I talked to him.”
“How real is this for you?” he asked, tilting his head and studying my face. “Because I can tell it’s real for Margot. I could see in her eyes that she’s past reasoning with.”
Jeez. Is that what he wanted? To reason this away? “It couldn’t be more real.”
“She told me she’s never been happier. Is it the same for you?”
“I don’t know if it’s the same.”
His eyes narrowed.
“But only because I don’t have much happiness to compare it to.”
“You know what I mean.”
I nodded. “I suppose the only thing that would make me happier than I am today is if I knew for certain that I’d have a chance to love her just one more day. And preferably the day after that. And the next.” I took a deep breath. “I guess I’ve reached a point where I can’t imagine my life without her anymore. She’s like…you know how there’s a tag in your underwear that keeps you from wearing it the wrong way around?”
He craned his neck forward.
“I basically feel like I never had that, like I was going through life with my underwear on wrong. And then she came along and made everything right again, made everything feel good. Made everything make sense.”
“Like the tag in your underwear?”
“What I mean to say is, being alive is more comfortable since she came along.”
“What you mean to say is you don’t need another pitcher.”
I glanced down at my half-empty glass before eyeing the nearly empty jug. “Sorry. Talking about my feelings has never been my strong suit.”
“No shit.”
I sighed.
“That being said, I can’t fault your good taste.”
I thought I saw the flicker of a smile on his face.
“And I don’t want you to think I’m some kind of monster,” he said. “Obviously, I want you both to be happy.”
An inkling of relief warmed my chest.
“But I also feel like an idiot that I didn’t see this coming,” he said. “I know you two better than anyone. So why am I so shocked?”
“Because we deliberately hid it from you.”
“I get that.”
“But we hid it from each other, too,” I said. “And from ourselves.”
“She told me she’s been trying to get your attention for years.”
“She’s been doing a lot more than trying,” I said, regretting my tone immediately. “But not only was my loyalty to you an issue—”
“She was underage.”
“I know,” I said, feeling a wave of guilt at the inappropriate thoughts I had about her back then. “And I respected that.” I leaned back and ran a hand through my hair. “But it was more than that. Like you said a while back, I didn’t want her to like me simply because I was the first guy who was ever nice to her.”
“I’m listening.”
“I wanted her to live a little. And, frankly, I wanted to protect myself from the feelings she stirred in me.”
“So you were waiting for her to grow up?”
“Yeah.” I reached for my drink. “Don’t get me wrong, I hoped she would still want me later. I just always thought we’d grow apart or that she’d meet someone else.”
“But that didn’t happen.”
I shook my head. “No, and my feelings for her only got stronger. But she’ll be the first to tell you I did everything I could to discourage them—and hers.”
“Until when exactly?”
My mind flashed back to the day she walked into my office wearing nothing but a coat, and her stunning beauty shattered everything inside me, including my will to resist her. “When we started working together.”
“So I’m partly to blame for this?”
“No one is to blame, Matt. But if you want the credit, it’s all yours.”
His mouth twitched like that didn’t sound awful. “So when we were kids, everything was kosher? The family vacations you joined us on? All those nights you slept over? It’s not like there was any funny business going on right under my nose.”
I hesitated for a beat too long.
“Landon.”
“Only once.”
He raised his eyebrows.
“I kissed her at her high school graduation party,” I said. “A few days after she turned eighteen.”
His jaw tensed for a moment.
“Well, technically she kissed me, but I kissed her back.”
“And then what?” he asked.
“And then I left for school with you a few days later.”
“And then what?”
“I spent five years trying to convince myself I wasn’t in love with her.”
“Shit.”
“Yeah, it sucked.” I scratched the back of my head. “You guys are all I’ve got. You know that. I was reluctant to risk everything I knew for the unknown.”
“So what changed?”
“I don’t know. The combination of my willpower wearing down coupled with the fact that she’s gotten bossier.”
One side of his mouth curled towards his smiling eyes.
I was relieved he knew I didn’t mean anything bad by it.
“So now what?” he asked, draining his glass.
“I’m going to marry her and spend the rest of my li—”
He spat his drink out, catching half in his glass while the rest sprayed across the table.
I furrowed my brow. “Sorry, is that not what you meant? I thought you were asking about my intentions.”
“Don’t you think this is all moving a bit fast?” he asked, dragging a napkin across the table before crumpling it and tossing it on top of our leftover nachos.
“We think we’re making up for lost time, to be honest. But I’m not proposing tomorrow or anything. I just thought it would ease your mind if you knew I was in this for the long haul.”
His shoulders dropped several inches. “Right.”
“Besides, the last thing we need to worry about right now is a wedding when we have a business to build.”
The whites of his eyes doubled in size. “What?”
“I’m in the process of setting up my own agency,” I said. “And Margot’s going to join me in six months after she gets more experience where she is now.”
“Holy shit.”
“Sorry to pile that on, but I came here to be straight with you.”
A glint of gratitude shone in his eyes.
“You have to keep that on the down low, though, so she doesn’t get fired before I’ve set everything up.”
“You weren’t kidding,” he said. “You really are in this for the long haul.”
“I love her, Matt.” I swallowed the lump that rose in my throat. “I think she’s the most brilliant, intelligent, sharp-witted woman I’ve ever met, and there is nothing I’m not prepared to do to keep her happy and challenged and safe.”
His eyes softened as they swept my face and, for the first time, I felt like he really believed me.
“And I love you, too, man,” I said, fixing my eyes on his.
He stared at me for a moment before a smile lifted his stunned face.
I held my breath.
“What do you say we get a pitcher for the road?” he asked, topping up our drinks with the remaining slush.
My chest loosened as I exhaled. “I’d like that.”