chapter Five
Second thoughts
Talina
I haven’t stopped smiling, since I got home. I’m not even bothered by Malcolm’s presence. In fact, I invited him to have dinner with me. I already had plans to whip something up.
I have a stir fry in the wok in no time. I have a glass of wine in my hand, as my favorite tunes on the radio and a good mood, I haven’t had in a long time, fills my apartment. I want to say that it’s all the shoes I bought that have me beaming. I just don’t think that’s entirely true.
Nelson was better company than I thought he would be. Instead of the usual funk I end up in, when I talk about my parents, I felt a sort of cleansing after talking to Nelson. I find him so easy to talk to.
I didn’t know my boss had such a sense of humor. After lunch, he seemed to relax a lot more. I could see the confident CEO I’ve come to know from board meetings and presentations.
“You seem to be in a great mood,” Malcolm says, as he walks up behind me.
I look over my shoulder and shrug. My smile slips from my face, as I see the look of desire in Malcolm’s eyes. I hate that my body instantly responds. It’s been so long, but that ship has sailed.
I’m not about to be some booty call for when he’s feeling lonely. If we’re through, we’re through. I shake off my body’s reaction, as his brown eyes study me.
“Why shouldn’t I be,” I lift my shoulder. “I just turned thirty-three and received the promotion of a lifetime. I’ll be taking a trip to London, I closed some major accounts, which could open up even more doors,” I list, but Malcolm’s face sags and his eyes close.
“I can’t believe I forgot what yesterday was,” he groans low. “Baby, I’m so sorry. I had something planned for months. I had to change things around at the last minute because of work and—,” I hold my hand up and shake my head.
“No worries, we’re good,” I say, and honestly, I mean it.
“You have to let me make it up to you,” Malcolm says, cupping my waist and drawing me into him.
I clasp his wrists and pry him off of me. “There’s no need. Are you almost done,” I look pointedly at the boxes he has packed.
Malcolm clears his throat. “Yeah, I’ll be finished soon,” he nods.
“Well, take a break for now. Dinner is ready, I want to eat. I have some work to catch up on,” I say, turning to serve our plates.
Malcolm pulls my chair, as I place the two plates down on the table. I take a seat, noting that the air has shifted a bit. I’ve already let my body know that this man is not ours anymore. She’ll have to ignore his presence from here on out.
We eat in silence for a bit, but I feel his eyes on me. I don’t want to kill the good vibe I have, so I continue to tap my foot to the music floating through the air, while tucking into my food. I close my eyes and sway to Tamar Braxton’s, Love and War.
“So, London?” Malcolm nods and gives me one of those smiles, I used to find breathtaking. I’m surprised, when I don’t feel that usual lurch in my chest.
I do get excited about my upcoming trip. “I have so much planning to do. I need to pack, find a house sitter, there’s so much to do before Friday,” I say excitedly.
Malcolm drops his fork and makes a sour face. “Friday, when are you returning?”
“I should be back sometime next month or the month after. After the New Year,” I reply.
“What the hell, Talina? My parents’ party is next week. What about the party? What am I supposed to tell them?” Malcolm growls.
I sit back in my chair and just stare. The food in my mouth sours. I twist my lips, counting backwards in my head. With a sigh, I’m calm enough to reply.
“Let me explain something to you. I planned that party as your girlfriend. We broke up. Your choice. While I won’t just let the party fall apart, I’m not obligated to be there and I wouldn’t even feel comfortable there at this juncture,” I say, as coolly as I can.
“Maybe…I said somethings out of anger last night,” Malcolm starts.
“I know you, Mal. You spoke your truth last night. Answer me this, have any of your feelings changed from last night?” I ask, watching him closely.
“Yeah, I had time to think,” I lift my hand cutting him off.
“Don’t, don’t be that guy. You were clear about your feelings. Find yourself, find what you want, I’ll have the party planner call you tomorrow,” I say and stand.
I take my plate and dump the rest of my food in the trash. I go to tug on a pair of joggers and snatch up my keys. The last twenty-four hours are about to crash down on me. I feel it. I need to get out of this apartment.
I stop at the door, not turning to face Malcolm. I left him sitting at the table, staring into his plate. “Please be gone when I get back,” I say softly, I don’t wait for his reply.