Chapter 6

Ella

I looked at the door for about the tenth time, not wanting to admit what I was looking for but unable to stop glancing at the entrance every ten seconds.

After all, it wasn’t my fault! I wasn’t the one who had somehow gotten the entire weekend off, leaving me with a totally different knockoff Santa who I couldn’t match wits with on Saturday and Sunday.

I hadn’t realized it wasn’t Drayer walking up to the North Pole. My first suspicion that something was off was when I noticed this new Santa was much shorter, but I didn’t realize he was a new person entirely until I heard him talking to the kid on his knee. I had quickly backpedaled and gone to Jo to see if she had heard anything about Drayer being fired.

That had been a very anxiety-filled fifteen minutes. But thankfully, I found Jo, who always seemed to know the latest gossip, and asked her what was going on.

Apparently, Jimmy had finally gotten enough time to find another Santa so Drayer wasn’t working an illegal number of hours. That was a huge relief, not that I let Jo know it, and I resolved to wait until Monday when I could see my sexy Santa again.

Whoa, that was a little forward there. What was I thinking? Drayer was practically a stranger and a coworker, at that. I needed to clear my head and forget all about this stupid little obsession I had.

I heard the door open, and my head automatically snapped toward it. Sure enough, it was Drayer strolling in, looking rested but like he was still waking up. I watched as he strolled to the locker room before I quickly followed after him.

What was I doing? I berated myself to stop walking and get back to work, and yet my feet kept taking me right toward the locker room. Next thing I knew, I was opening the door and walking in on Drayer in nothing but an undershirt and his sweatpants.

Holy hell, if I thought he was yummy fully clothed, he was that much more so with his arms bared and a glimpse of his cut chest underneath. The guy should come with a warning label at this point.

“Oh, hey, Ella.”

“Hey,” I quickly collected myself and headed to my locker like I knew what the hell I was doing. “I missed you this weekend,” I said, hoping I didn’t sound completely desperate.

He laughed at that, helping me relax a bit. “I missed you too. Didn’t have anyone to banter with. Thought I was gonna go into withdrawal.”

I returned his mirth, and the smile felt so natural, not forced like it often was with customers. As much as I would like to stick around and keep going, I had work to do. Besides, it wasn’t like I actually trusted him, so I might as well keep my distance.

“I guess I better head back to work. I’ll catch you later.”

“Later. Don’t let the price tags bite.”

“I won’t.” I stopped pretending I was trying to fish something out of my bag and headed back out. I wasn’t paying much attention to my face, still basking in the warm glow filling me, when, of course, I ran into Jo.

“Let me guess. You were talking to your man.”

She said it like such a statement of fact, it irked me. “You know better than anybody else that I don’t have a man.”

“Come on, Ella, don’t be that way.” She sighed and slung an arm around me while walking me back to her section. “Why are you getting so defensive? It’s good that you have a crush! It means you’re moving on.”

“I don’t have a crush,” I argued stubbornly.

“Aw, Ellie, honey, sweetie, best friend forever. I’ve known you for years. Do you really think I wouldn’t be able to tell when you’re flirting with a guy?”

“I’m not flirting!” I felt my normally passive temper flare. I mean, sure, my friend was right, but that didn’t mean I enjoyed being called on it when I was busy trying to shove all my feelings into a glass bottle. “Seriously, my boyfriend of four years was cheating on me, and after I found out and forgave him, he had the nerve to ghost me like I was no one. How can you do that? To someone you were supposed to love? We were together for a fifth of our lives and poof! He just disappeared after ripping my heart into pieces.”

“So, no, Jo. I don’t have a crush. I’m not flirting. I do not have the hots for anyone. I am just pleasantly surprised to see that I am able to make friends with a new coworker who doesn’t seem like a douche.”

Jo removed her arm and put some distance between us. “Fine, fine. Pretend your BFF doesn’t know what’s up. I’ll let you be now. You’re a bit prickly for my tastes.”

I grimaced, realizing I had snapped in a way that Jo didn’t deserve, but she was already walking off to work on shelving things. Oh, boy. I owed her an apology and maybe dinner later.

I went about the rest of my work feeling an exhausting mixture of guilty and angry. I felt bad about how I talked to Jo, but bringing up my ex had put me right back in with all of those emotions again. How could he? I had trusted him. Loved him!

Apparently, he hadn’t felt the same. It was bad enough that he had to find comfort in another woman, putting my health at risk, considering we didn’t use condoms, but instead of apologizing when caught, he had practically blamed it all on me. Then, he couldn’t even do me the decency of breaking up. Instead, he had chosen to vanish, scrubbing himself from my life until there were only the pictures and wounds to remember him by.

All of the memories, all of the sweet kisses and promises of the future, they had all been lies. And if someone I knew more than anyone else in the world could lie like that to me, how could I ever trust a stranger again?

So, no. I was absolutely done with men and relationships and romance. I would continue to better myself and maybe adopt some pets and that would be that.

I strengthened myself in my resolution and got through the first half of my shift. When it was finally time for lunch, I entered the break room in a mood.

But of course, Drayer didn’t know that.

“Hey, Ella,” he called, waving from where he was seated with his lunch bag in front of him. “Come to join us common folk at feeding time?”

I shouldn’t sit by him. I knew that. I should make some excuse about how I had a headache or needed alone time.

But I didn’t do that. Instead, I sat right across from him with my lunch like everything was absolutely peachy, and I wasn’t a betrayed mess. “I wasn’t aware Santa was considered common folk. The next thing you’ll tell me is the Easter Bunny and Jack Frost are regular, everyday lads as well.”

“Nah, that Easter Bunny has a terrible temper. Some people would even say it’s hare-trigger.”

I groaned at the terrible pun and dramatically pantomimed face-planting into my lunch. “I do you the honor of giving you my company, and you repay me in such a way.”

“You’re right. For shame. Allow me to make it up to you at this weekend’s Christmas party.”

I chuckled lightly and took a bite of my sandwich. As much as I would have liked a gyro or other food court fare, it was far too expensive for my savings plan, so I dealt with a cold meal that I’d brought from home.

“You certainly are hung up on that party,” I deflected, neither confirming nor denying I would be there.

“Yeah, well it sounds like a fun time,” he answered back with a wry grin. “Who wouldn’t want a chance to hang out with coworkers off the clock and celebrate the happiest time of the year? Especially when one of your coworkers happens to be one of the prettiest women in New York City.”

I recognized he was flirting, but I frowned. “It’s not the happiest time of the year for everyone.”

He didn’t seem to know how to respond to that, and his eyes flicked everywhere like he was trying to find a distraction to save our banter from the awkward turtle I had turned it into. Suddenly, they landed on something behind me and then widened.

“Aw, shit! I went over lunch.” He jumped to his feet, gathering up his trash while trying to wave hastily to me. “I’ll catch you later, Ella.”

“Later,” I said, watching him go while I tried to sort the feelings inside of me.

Thankfully, no one else approached me, and I got to spend the remaining fifteen minutes or so in my own head. But when I finished, I headed back onto the floor only to hear yelling in the employee hall.

“We’ve got a line almost out the door! You can’t be going five minutes over your lunch when we’ve got such a short time to see everyone!”

“I’m sorry, Sir. I didn’t realize my cell phone was so far off from store time.”

Yikes. That was Drayer and Jimmy. I rounded the corner to see the Santa looking contrite while our manager yelled at him with a red face. I was sure we both knew Jimmy was taking his holiday frustration out on the worker, but it wasn’t fair.

Feeling a bit guilty for being partially responsible, I slunk past the two of them. Oh well, it was better if he resented me a little. Maybe then he wouldn’t want to talk with me, and I would lose my penchant for flirting with him.

But even though I knew that would be best for me, I couldn’t help but hope that didn’t happen. For whatever reason, I wanted to keep talking to him. He was the only person who made the Christmas season a little bit brighter, and I wasn’t quite willing to give that up yet.

No matter what my brain told me otherwise.