The first two weeks of his new life as a working single dad living in his own house had gone by smoothly. Glen had been extremely accommodating and had let him leave every day in time to pick up Sophie from preschool. He’d even agreed to let him have the weekends off for a while, so Adam wouldn’t have to find someone to babysit his little girl.
Just like his mother and Jenna had predicted, Sophie hadn’t had any problem fitting in at school. All his worries had been proven unfounded as Sophie ran toward him when he picked her up on her first day, and she talked a thousand words a minute, recounting in detail every single activity they’d done, the song the teachers had taught them, and even what she’d eaten. She’d nearly pierced his eardrum with her excited squeals, and when she started singing the song out loud in the car, but it had been worth it. Hearing the thrill in her voice had been enough to put a smile on his face until he tucked her into bed that night.
On Saturday he woke up at the crack of dawn, his head nearly exploding with all the thoughts swirling through it. The day before, he’d had another conversation with Mendosa and was now even more determined to work on the case. He pulled out all the folders he’d kept well hidden in his closet, and while he waited for Sophie to wake up, he sat at his kitchen table with his tablet and a notepad, working on the case he wasn’t supposed to be working on—which eventually gave him a headache and a heavy heart. He was grateful when his little girl showed up in the kitchen in her teddy bear pajamas and crawled onto his lap for some cuddles.
“Can we go to the beach, Daddy? I want to make sandcastles today.” Her voice was still a little groggy and thick with sleep, while she rubbed her tiny fists on her eyes.
He kissed her temple and smiled at her suggestion. Yes, going to the beach would be a welcome distraction and the best cure, if not for the headache, then definitely for his heavy heart.
An hour later, they strolled from the back porch onto the path that led to the beach, with Sophie chattering excitedly about the sandcastle she was going to make. Digging his toes in the sand, he felt a little of the constant tension fade away, as thoughts of the case, the robber and everything that had crowded his mind all morning slowly melted away under the rays of the early September sun peeking through the clouds. The rhythmic sound of foamy waves and his daughter’s laughter gradually drowned out the nagging that constantly reminded him how he’d failed his wife.
Families were gathered under beach umbrellas, while groups of high school kids were already busy surfing, playing football, or throwing a Frisbee. He remembered when he used to spend hours at the beach with his family, when he and his siblings were young; and later, when they were in high school and used to spend their Saturday mornings with Hannah and their friends, basking in the sun, throwing a ball, and annoying the girls just for the sake of it.
He smiled to himself at the memory of the day he and Kean had found a dead crab in the surf and placed it on Hannah’s back while she was sunbathing. Her screams had probably been heard in Portland, and he still cringed at the memory of her payback. The freezing cold water of the Pacific Ocean had nearly given him a heart attack when she dumped a bucket of water on him later that day, while he was half asleep on the sand.
“Daddy, we have to make the bestest sandcastle.” Sophie tugged his hand, bringing him back to the present. He smiled and laid out the beach towel, making sure she was covered in sunscreen and wearing her floral hat before he let her get to work on her princess castle.
Her excitement grew exponentially with each minute that passed, as Adam’s shoulders relaxed. He remembered how exciting a day at the beach making sandcastles had been when he was little. Now, the simple motions of digging sand and filling a tiny pink bucket helped him unwind and kept his mind focused on the present, on his adorable daughter, and away from the sad feelings that always crowded his mind.
“I fink we need some shells to make the castle more beautiful,” Sophie said, staring at the slightly crooked mound of sand, a finger on her lips and her head tilted to the side.
Adam smiled and pulled out his phone from his beach bag, to capture this moment on camera. Hannah had been the one who loved taking pictures and making scrapbooks for them to look at when they were old and gray. He’d kept them all in a box that was now somewhere in his parents’ attic, but he refused to look at them, at the reminders of what he’d once had and would never have again. The habit of taking pictures and storing simple and special moments on a camera, not only in his mind, still remained, though. Mainly because he’d noticed how the image of Hannah had started fading from his mind, and if it hadn’t been for the million pictures he’d taken, he’d probably have trouble remembering her beautiful face by now.
Sophie noticed him taking a picture and made some funny faces. He smiled and tapped his finger on the screen capturing his daughter’s antics. Once she was done posing for him, she climbed into his lap, gave him a loud kiss on the cheek and informed him she’d go choose some shells for their castle.
“You stay here and pwotect our castle,” she said, in a serious tone that meant business.
He nodded, fighting a smile as she spun around and started inspecting the sand like she was searching for a treasure. He kept his eyes trained on her, while he imagined sitting on that same beach towel with Hannah, holding her body to him, his arms around her, as they watched their little angel together.
His heart ached and his eyes veiled with tears behind his aviator sunglasses, as once again the realization of all he’d been denied, the happiness and love he’d been deprived of, hit him like a freight train, leaving him temporarily breathless. No, he’d never be willing to love again and have his heart crushed.
* * *
Ellie had never really been fond of sports in general. She’d taken the compulsory physical education classes in high school, but as soon as she graduated, sport became the last thing on her mind. Things had changed a little after she moved in with Charli and, seeing as they lived close to a town park, she’d joined her friend a couple of times on her Saturday morning jog. But only because Charli had literally dragged her along, insisting there were a lot of nice, single guys who jogged on Saturday mornings.
As promised, Ellie had gone to Lauren’s yoga class on Monday, and she’d discovered a side of herself she didn’t think she possessed. She’d ended up signing up for a bi-weekly class and was planning to join her Pilates classes, too. Maybe it was because she’d bonded almost immediately with Lauren and they’d been hanging out a lot since the first time they met, or because her new friend was just as determined and strong-willed as Charli. Either way, Ellie had surprised herself when she first accepted Lauren’s invitation to join her for a weekend morning workout on the beach.
They did some yoga routines, then a couple of Tai Chi moves, as Lauren was still thinking about getting a qualification to add Tai Chi to her weekly classes. They ended their workout by power-walking along the surf for thirty minutes or so. The last part was the one Ellie dreaded the most, since the last time she’d gone jogging with Charli she’d thought her lungs would combust and she’d drop dead. But walking on the beach, breathing in the salty air with the gentle sound of the waves gave the word ‘workout’ a whole new meaning—one that didn’t include ‘exhaustion’ in its definition.
“So, how do you like it at Spring Bunnies? Are the kids driving you crazy?” Lauren asked, as they power-walked along the shoreline. “My niece was over the moon. She couldn’t stop singing the bunny song you taught her; every member of the Cavanagh family knows it by heart now.”
“I love it there. It never really feels like a job.” Ellie couldn’t hold back a smile. She truly loved working at Spring Bunnies. The kids were all adorable, and the parents were easy-going and very down-to-earth—further perks of small-town life. Whereas back in San Francisco she’d had to deal with some cocky, rich families who stared her down every time they picked up their children, most of the parents here were just as lovely as their kids. “And your niece is an angel. I think Adam was a little worried about leaving her with us, but he’s warmed up to the idea a bit more since he hasn’t found any broken bones, bumps on her head, or stitches.”
Lauren laughed. “Yeah, you may have noticed my brother-in-law is slightly overprotective. That little girl is his whole world; he’d rather cut his head off than see his baby get hurt.”
“It’s understandable, though. Sometimes the first weeks at school are harder on the parents than on the kids. And it’s even harder for single parents.”
Lauren’s smile faded for just a second, and she picked up her pace, probably a reaction to the grief she no doubt felt every time someone mentioned her sister. She always looked so happy and carefree, probably thanks to her yoga training, that it was easy to forget the tragedy that had hit her family. Living in constant fear of losing Ethan, and feeling her heart ache every time her twin didn’t reply to her e-mails straight away, she could understand how tough it must have been for Lauren.
Ellie picked up her pace, getting in stride with her friend. Lauren smirked. “Keep up, Miss Ellie. I’ll get you ready for a marathon before the summer’s over.”
“But fall starts in two weeks!” Ellie’s whine resembled that of her preschoolers. But Lauren laughed, and sped up just a little bit more. “Fine, okay. You win.” Ellie let out a huff and matched her stride, determined to not fall behind. She was glad it was a mild, slightly cloudy day or she’d probably be melting by now.
They reached the more populated area of the beach, where families and teenagers already crowded the sandy expanse with their beach towels and colorful umbrellas, and her eyes immediately landed on the handsome, dark-haired dad in a pair of beige shorts and a red t-shirt. He was busy building a sandcastle with his little girl, who was dressed in a pink, frilly summer dress and a cute flowered hat.
The girl’s giggles carried on the wind, and Lauren’s face cracked into a smile. Sophie looked up from her sandcastle and squealed when she noticed Lauren and Ellie approaching.
“Auntie Lauwen!” She got to her feet and ran toward them, still holding on to her pink plastic spade. “We’re making a sandcastle! Hi, Miss Ellie.” Sophie squinted up at Ellie and grinned. “Do you want to help us? We’re making a big one, so we can sit inside.”
Her free hand took Lauren’s, and she pulled her toward the mound of sand that in no way resembled a castle, at least not yet. Adam stood up. With his eyes hidden behind a pair of aviator sunglasses, Ellie couldn’t gage his reaction. She shouldn’t be there—fraternizing with a father, especially where anyone could see them, wasn’t a smart move. Maybe he didn’t even want her there. The fact they were neighbors didn’t mean they had to spend their free time in each other’s company.
“Good morning, ladies. I see Lauren’s finally found her work-out buddy. She’s been pestering all her friends and family members in turns.” He let out a relieved sigh as he dramatically wiped the back of his hand across his forehead. “Thank you for saving us.”
“Shut up, you.” Lauren punched his arm, and Adam flinched. “We’ll see if you make fun of me when you get a beer belly and flabby muscles.”
Adam massaged his bicep, grimacing. He tilted his head at Ellie and whispered out of the side of his mouth, “Don’t get on her bad side—she packs a mean right hook.”
“I heard that,” Lauren huffed as she knelt on the sand to help Sophie decorate her castle with some pebbles and fragments of shells. Ellie chuckled when Adam lifted his shoulders and let out a low, “Oops.”
“Miss Ellie, Daddy, help us! We must finish the castle so the pwincess can live wif the pwince.”
“Sure, boss.” Adam plopped onto the sand, reaching for the pink bucket Sophie handed him. Ellie stared at the three of them working together, wondering whether she should just make up an excuse and leave, before someone misinterpreted the vision and reported her to Dee. She didn’t want to lose her job after only two weeks.
“Uh, I think I’ll head home,” Ellie said tentatively. Lauren and Adam looked up, while Sophie shot to her feet.
“Noooo! We have to finish the castle.” She hung on to Ellie’s hand and looked up at her with a pout. “Please, don’t go home.”
“Sophie, don’t annoy Miss Ellie.” Adam reached for his daughter and pulled her back toward him. She wriggled in his arms.
“Why don’t you want to help us?” Sophie’s lower lip trembled just a little as she stared up at Ellie.
Great. Now she felt like a mean killjoy. She hated disappointing kids, and she especially hated disappointing this adorable little girl she’d already become too attached to after only a week of knowing her.
“Please, don’t feel obliged to stay. We don’t want to spoil your day off.” Adam said, before turning to Sophie. “Miss Ellie can’t stay with us. She’s not your teacher today; she has other things to do when she’s not at school. Auntie Lauren will help us finish the castle. Then we can go and have lunch at the bakery.”
“But I want Miss Ellie to help us too. I like Miss Ellie. Don’t you like us?”
Ellie’s resolution faltered just a little at the way the little girl’s voice cracked—and at the warmth that suddenly enveloped her own heart. She didn’t have any plans other than cleaning the house and maybe doing a little gardening. Lauren was there too, so it wouldn’t look as if Ellie were on a romantic date with the handsome deputy. If Dee ever heard about it, Lauren could testify that it had been totally innocent, and just because Sophie had insisted.
“Well, maybe I can stay for a while, until lunch time,” Ellie said against her better judgment, as she dropped her bag on the beach towel and sat crossed-legged next to Sophie. The little girl cheered and immediately handed her the pink spade, asking her to dig the moat around the castle.
Adam mouthed, “Sorry”, and she smiled, shaking her head to say it was no problem, when in reality it was—or it could be. If the past had taught her anything at all, it was never to mix her private life with work. Apparently, she hadn’t learned anything at all, since sharing this happy family moment with her neighbor and his daughter was making her feel happier than she had been in months. And that wasn’t good. It wasn’t good at all.