“Miss Ellie, we’re going to look at the seals!”
Before Adam could stop her, Sophie had bounded across the yard and up the steps to Ellie’s porch, where she was locking the door with a red backpack on her shoulder and a matching red headband. In the month since Sophie had started school, he’d already told her more than once that, just because her teacher lived next door, it didn’t mean she wanted to spend her free time with them. The poor woman probably had enough of being around children during working hours already. But apparently Sophie didn’t seem to understand what a weekend was, and why she shouldn’t annoy their neighbor.
Polite as usual, Ellie beamed when she saw Sophie. He had to give her credit—her smiles seemed genuine, as if she was really pleased to see Sophie, when all she probably wanted was to relax and forget about screaming kids until Monday. He knew he would, if he worked with preschoolers all week.
“Wow, that’s awesome!” Ellie said, crouching to Sophie’s level.
“Come wif us, come wif us!” Sophie grabbed Ellie’s hand, and Adam cringed. He’d tried teaching his daughter manners, especially with strangers, but Sophie seemed to think Ellie was part of the family and she could forget manners, just like she did when she was around her grandparents, or her aunt and uncle.
“Sophie.” Adam used his sternest tone, hoping it would make her understand she’d done something wrong. Ever since they’d moved out of his parents’ house, he’d had to learn to toughen up and use a stern tone whenever he wanted her to know he wasn’t kidding. His parents had been spoiling her even more now that she didn’t live with them anymore, and he’d had to play the part of Serious Daddy just to teach her she couldn’t always have what she wanted. He didn’t like being the bad one, but she needed to learn what she could and couldn’t do.
“Hi,” Ellie said, smiling up at him. “So you’re going seal watching, I hear? Where’re you going?”
For a moment, Adam was taken aback by the sweet, not at all annoyed expression on Ellie’s face. Maybe she wasn’t faking it, after all. And if she was, well, she was a great actress.
“We’re going up north to Cape Arago State Park—I wanted to take Sophie to see the sea lions. Ever since my mom showed her the pictures of our trips there as kids, she’s been begging me to take her. The forecast for today seemed good, so I thought it would be ideal for a field trip.”
“Come wif us, Miss Ellie!” Sophie bounced up and down, still holding on to Ellie’s hand.
“What did I tell you about annoying people?” Adam reached for his daughter, wanting to let Ellie off the hook. “Sorry, I’m trying to teach her manners, but her grandparents keep spoiling her and destroying all my work.”
Ellie smiled. “I’ve never been to Cape Arago, and I’d love to go, but I promised Sammy’s grandmother that I’d babysit today. She’s sick, and I offered to look after Sammy so she could rest.”
Well, this woman was quite amazing. She already spent the whole week looking after other people’s wild kids, but instead of spending the weekend relaxing, she offered to help an old lady and babysit her grandchild. Sometimes he felt he had his hands full with his own child—he’d never consider offering to babysit other kids, too.
“Sammy can come wif us, too. Daddy’s car is big.” Sophie said, clapping her hands excitedly. Everything was always so easy in her little girl’s mind. “Wight, Daddy?”
Ellie looked up at Adam. Quite unexpectedly, he found himself hoping she’d go with them. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to spend quality time alone with his daughter—he’d already experienced how fast kids grew, and before he knew it, Sophie would be wanting to spend time with her friends instead of with him. He wouldn’t mind a little backup, though, since this would be his first solo father-daughter trip, and the thought of screwing up had him a little worried.
“Yeah, we’d only have to get another car seat, but Sammy’s grandmother probably has one we can borrow.” He looked at Ellie, wondering if it would feel like he was overstepping some kind of invisible line he shouldn’t cross. “I mean, if this doesn’t spoil your plans or something. You don’t really have to feel obliged in any way.”
“I’d made no plans for the day.” She stood up and adjusted the strap of her backpack on her shoulder. “I was going to let Sammy decide, but I’m sure he’ll love the idea of seeing the seals. If you don’t mind us tagging along, of course.”
“Yay!” Sophie clapped her hands again, smashing her stuffed bunny’s ear between her tiny hands in the process, then ran down the steps toward Adam’s car. Lately he’d often wondered where she found all that energy, and if he could borrow some from her. “Huwwy, Daddy. Let’s go. Let’s go. Let’s go!”
Adam rolled his eyes, and Ellie laughed. “Sorry about that,” he said. “I’ve been promising I’d take her to see the seals for months, and she’s been chatting non-stop about it since she woke up this morning.”
They walked to Adam’s car in his driveway, and he looked around to make sure none of the neighbors were snooping, before he opened the passenger-side door for Ellie.
“Thank you,” she said, her eyes widening a little in surprise at his gesture. Hannah used to call him an old-fashioned gentleman, and maybe he was, but his father and grandfather had taught him and his brothers to treat women right—and opening doors was just one of many ways.
Adam got behind the wheel, and as he left the driveway, Sophie started chattering excitedly about the trip, the seals, and whatever else caught her attention outside the window. Her excitement rubbed off on him, too, and by the time they reached Sammy’s house on the outskirts of town ten minutes later, he felt as excited as a kid on a school trip.
Mrs. Saunders, Sammy’s grandmother, was happy about the change of plans, and she didn’t stop thanking Ellie for offering to look after her grandson, even though the kid looked as if he couldn’t care less about the trip. Adam fixed the car seat next to Sophie’s and let Mrs. Saunders settle the kid inside it, since she seemed determined to do it herself. She gave Sammy a few recommendations, spoke to Ellie in a low voice and thanked Adam—again—for inviting her grandson to join them.
Adam couldn’t understand what all the fuss was about. It was only a trip up north to a park, it wasn’t as if he were taking the kid to Disneyland. Then he remembered that Mrs. Saunders had lost her daughter, Sammy’s mother, in a tragic way and realized it must be hard for her to socialize with the young mothers whose kids went to pre-K with her grandson. She probably didn’t get many invitations to afternoon teas or the usual things mothers did together. He should know about it, since in a way he was one of the outcasts, too. He hadn’t met any of the kids’ fathers so far, and obviously the mothers wouldn’t dream of including him in their outings or meetings. Not that he would’ve accepted anyway, but still… well, he knew what it felt like to be the odd one out.
Adam took Mrs. Saunders’ proffered hand and promised he’d take good care of Sammy and bring him back all in one piece—which elicited a chuckle from her.
Ellie urged her to get back inside and relax for the day. The old woman thanked her one last time before walking a little reluctantly back into her small bungalow.
“Ready?” Adam asked.
Ellie nodded with a smile and got back into the car.
* * *
“Daddy, look, Sammy has a dinosauce!” Sophie said, as soon as Adam got back into the car, after making sure both children were buckled safely in their car seats.
“It’s dinosaur, baby,” he said with a smile. Her speech improved day after day, and she’d made lots of progress since starting pre-K, but she still came up with funny words at times. And deep down, he loved it when she did.
Sophie shrugged. “That’s what I said.” She looked at Sammy and tapped the stuffed toy with the tip of her index finger. “I like your dinosauce. You always bwing it to school. What’s his name?”
The little boy didn’t reply, and Adam watched the kids through the rear view mirror. Sammy stared at Sophie, clutching the purple dinosaur to his chest.
“Does he have a name?” Sophie asked. Sammy shook his head so lightly Adam nearly missed it, as he glanced at Ellie for a second. Sophie giggled. “He should have a name! Everyone has a name, wight, Daddy?”
Adam opened his mouth, but Sophie didn’t give him time to reply. “I fink you should call him Fweddie.” Her serious and very grown-up tone made Adam smile.
“I think Freddie’s a very nice name for a dinosaur. I like it.” Ellie said, turning to look at Sophie and Sammy with a bright smile.
“I like it, too,” Sophie said. “Do you like it, Sammy?”
The little boy bobbed his head so lightly that if Adam had blinked, he would’ve missed it. He wondered what was wrong with him—if he was just a little shy, or had more serious problems.
“Okay. We can go, now, Daddy. Huwwy up. I want to see the seals.”
“Sure, boss.” Adam said, smiling at his daughter’s bossy tone as he pulled away from the curb and headed toward the Pacific Coast Scenic Byway that would take them north to Coos County.
Sophie chatted almost non-stop all the seventy-four miles to their destination, and Ellie was happy to answer all her questions and sing Disney songs with her while he concentrated on the road. All the while, Sammy remained quiet in his seat, holding Sophie’s stuffed bunny to his chest, which at some point during the trip Sophie had decided to lend him in exchange for his purple dinosaur.
Adam couldn’t help the smile that curled his lips upon hearing his little girl’s giggles. For the first time in a long, long time, he felt good—serene, almost. When Sophie was born, he’d imagined family trips like this one, only the person in the passenger seat would be his beloved wife, not his daughter’s teacher.
This isn’t a family trip, he reminded himself. Hannah should be here. She should be the one spending time with Sophie. He blinked, focusing on the road and pushing the thoughts back to the recesses of his mind. He didn’t need this right now.
I shouldn’t have let Ellie tag along. I shouldn’t be having a good time with another woman. I shouldn’t—
“Daddy, I’m firsty. I want juice.”
Sophie’s voice interrupted his train of thought, and he blinked twice to focus on the present. What had he been thinking? Letting his mind wander, letting guilt overwhelm him while he was behind the wheel, with three other people in the car. He had to pull himself together quick.
“Can you wait a few more minutes, baby girl? We’re nearly there.”
“But I’m firsty now!”
Adam rolled his eyes and glanced in the mirror to see if he could pull over. The snacks and beverages he’d packed for the day were in the thermal bag in the trunk.
“I have apple juice,” Ellie said, pulling two packs out of the red backpack at her feet. She put the straw in one and stretched across the seat to hand the juice to Sophie. Her shoulder brushed his arm, and he gripped the steering wheel, resisting the urge to move away. It was stupid, but the jolt he felt at the contact made him feel guilty, as if he was cheating on Hannah.
“Do you want one, too, Sammy?”
The boy didn’t reply, but Adam guessed he’d nodded since Ellie put the straw into the other pack and turned around to pass it to him. Adam unconsciously—or maybe not?—shifted slightly to avoid accidental contact and reminded himself how stupid he was. He was going to be around Ellie for a good few hours, if not all day—he had to suck it up and act like an adult. Spending time with another woman didn’t necessarily mean he had to have feelings for her, or that he was betraying the memory of Hannah, right?
Ellie returned to her position, and Adam let out a mental sigh of relief—no more touching.
“Thank you,” he said, looking straight ahead at the sign for the exit. Maybe until he pulled himself together, he should avoid eye contact, in case she saw the uneasiness he was feeling.
“No problem. I’m used to being around preschoolers, so I always come prepared,” she said, and even though he wasn’t looking at her, he could hear the smile in her voice. He’d noticed she had a cute smile, warm and very reassuring. It was no wonder kids adored her. He was sure she’d make a great mother and wife, too.
Huh?
He took a deep breath and thanked God they’d nearly reached their destination. The close confines of his car were making him claustrophobic and causing thoughts that were totally out of place. If he ever dated another woman, not that he was sure he ever could, but if he ever did, it would definitely not be his daughter’s teacher. Maybe it wouldn’t even be someone from town. That way, he’d probably manage to keep it secret for a while, at least until he was sure of his feelings for the woman.
Most of the residents had known him from the day he was born or at least from when he was young, and they’d all known Hannah, seen them as a couple, and been at their wedding. Hannah had wanted a big thing, so half the town had been invited—and those who hadn’t been invited had shown up at the church anyway, just to congratulate the happy couple.
They’d all closed around him like a big family when he’d come back with a six-month-old baby and his wife’s body in a wooden casket. He appreciated the way they’d all offered to help in any way they could, and he was pretty confident that, if they knew he was dating someone, they’d want to make sure she wouldn’t mess with his heart—which would make things awkward for the poor woman.
But he’d cross that bridge when he came to it; all he wanted right now was to enjoy the day with his daughter. Hopefully the fresh air coming off the Pacific would help clear his mind and wash away the silly thoughts about the woman in the passenger seat.