“I HAVE GUILT,” Leigh admitted to Silver as they left the Learning Center after getting Autumn settled.
“She’s going to be totally fine,” Silver told her, unlocking her truck. “She’ll have the entire staff eating out of her hand in what, ten minutes? By noon she’ll be friends with everyone. Even if I’m wrong, she has her cell phone with her. She has your number and mine, so she can get in touch with either of us. You double-checked the child safety controls on her phone five times already so she can’t go online unsupervised. I’m kind of missing the problem.”
Leigh hugged her. “You’re so rational. That’s only one of the reasons I love you. Okay, let’s go talk to Pallas and work through all the last-minute details, then we have Mexican food for lunch.” She wrinkled her nose. “You do have Mexican food here in town, don’t you?”
“Yes, and it’s amazing.”
Silver drove the short distance to Weddings Out of the Box. As she waited at a light, Leigh glanced at her.
“Did you talk to Drew last night?”
“No. I almost called about three times, but I didn’t know if he’d want to talk to me.” Not her finest hour, but she’d been very aware of the roller coaster of emotions he’d gone through during his first meeting with Autumn. He’d been in awe of his daughter and a little nervous, but there had been a lot of anger, too. She’d seen it flare, then die down.
“Do you think he’s going to come to the wedding?” Leigh asked.
“He’ll be there. He’ll want to see Autumn and get to know her.”
She hoped the crowd of people would provide a nice buffer as he found his emotional footing. She knew he was dealing with a lot and she really didn’t want to fight. They only had a week with Autumn. It seemed wrong to waste even a second of that being angry.
Silver pulled into the parking lot and turned off the engine. “We’re a couple of minutes early. Want to go get a coffee?”
“No, I’m good. We can just talk.”
Silver rolled her eyes. “I recognize your mom tone. You have something to say. Spit it out.”
Leigh angled toward her and smiled. “Nothing dire, I promise. I’m just curious about a few things.” She looked out the window. “This town is much smaller than I expected. I’m surprised you stayed.”
As Silver had been braced for a question about whether or not she and Drew were sleeping together, she had to take a second to switch mental gears. “Okay. It’s small but nice. When I moved back, I was ready to be a part of my uncle’s business. I knew there was some opportunity there.”
Leigh’s gaze was steady. “I thought maybe you’d go somewhere else. When you didn’t, I wondered if you were waiting for someone.”
“Not Drew,” she said flatly. “I wasn’t waiting for him at all. We were done. Long done. Now we’re just business partners. It’s not anything more. It can’t be. He’s different and I’m not and this is just...”
Aware that she might be babbling just a little too much, she pressed her lips together and told herself to be quiet.
She cleared her throat. “I’m happy here. I have a great business and wonderful friends and a very fulfilling life. I don’t need a man. Or want one.” Love was complicated and stupid and in the end, everything got messed up.
“There was never anyone else, was there?” Leigh asked, her voice soft. “I don’t mean dating or sex. There was never another man for you. Just Drew.”
“It’s not like that. I’m careful with my emotions.”
Leigh didn’t say anything.
Silver groaned. “Fine. No. There wasn’t anyone else. Just Drew.”
“And now you’re back together.”
“We’re not together-together. We’re in business and...”
“Sleeping together.”
“Yes, and that. But nothing else. It doesn’t mean anything.”
“He cares about you.”
“He cares about his rabbit, too.”
“His what?”
“Long story. The point is, we’re friends. We still have that and it’s plenty. I don’t want more. Not from him, not from any guy. I’m fine. Solid. Just happy as a clam.”
Leigh patted her arm. “Good to know. I love you and I’m always going to be in your life. Even if you try to hide from me, I will hunt you down and love you forever.”
Silver hugged her. “I feel the same way. Only I think I’d be a whole lot better at hunting you down.”
“Probably. Now let’s go inside. I want to see all the feathers and pearls and every tacky thing.”
* * *
FRIDAY AFTERNOON DREW was surprised when Leigh walked into his office at the bank.
“I’m taking a chance that you have a few minutes for me,” she said.
“Of course.” He glanced at his calendar to see if he needed to cancel anything else and saw he was free for the rest of the afternoon.
“I have as much time as you would like,” he told her. “Do you want to go get coffee or something?”
“I’m good.” Leigh closed the door, then sat across from him. “I spent the morning going over the final details for the wedding. It’s very exciting to see the setup and all the decorations. They’re not anything I would have thought to pick but I really like them. We’re going to have a good day tomorrow.”
“When does your fiancé arrive?”
“Denton and his parents are driving in tonight. The wedding party is so small we aren’t bothering with a rehearsal dinner. Autumn and I will stay together in the princess room at the hotel tonight, then tomorrow night Denton and I are driving back to LA after the wedding. We’ll get there late, but we can sleep in before our flight to Hawaii.” She laughed. “We promised we would take Autumn there over spring break next year. She understands the concept of a honeymoon but doesn’t think it’s fair when there are children involved.”
“So she mentioned earlier.”
Leigh was a pretty woman—a little curvy, with wavy dark hair and green eyes. She practically radiated happiness and contentment.
“I thought you might like to know about how Silver and I became friends,” Leigh said, “but not know how to ask. Or what to ask. I thought you might like to know what it was like while she was pregnant and after Autumn was born.”
“I would like that.”
“I’d known for years that I couldn’t have children. There’s a whole plumbing thing I won’t get into. When I married Paul, my first husband, we knew from the start we wanted to adopt, so we began the process as soon as we got engaged. We tried everything. Local, foreign, private, public. We were determined to find our baby. We met Silver through a lawyer friend who happened to know her uncle. It was just one of those things. She wanted to give up her baby and we wanted a baby. So we met.”
Drew hadn’t realized there was a process, but of course there had to have been. It wasn’t as if she’d had the kid, then left her on a shelf somewhere. There had been meetings and decisions and paperwork. Silver would have been pregnant all nine months, knowing that in the end, she would be giving up her child. He wanted to correct that to their child, but he had a feeling that as soon as he’d agreed to adoption, she’d stopped thinking of the baby as anything but hers.
“I was so nervous at that first meeting,” Leigh admitted. “What if she didn’t like us? What if we didn’t get along? It’s hard when someone else has that much power over your life. I didn’t know if I should bring a gift or flowers or what. But from that first meeting, we just clicked. We were talking and laughing and it just seemed right. Silver only took a couple of days to decide we were the ones.”
Leigh smiled at him. “I was over the moon. You can’t imagine how thrilled and delighted we were. Silver’s uncle got in touch with us and brought up the possibility of Silver living with us through the pregnancy. Happily Inc is such a small town and he didn’t want her to have to face everyone she knew, day after day.”
Drew tried not to react to the gut punch. Something else he hadn’t thought of. That if Silver had stayed in town, she would have had to deal with questions, gossip and judgments.
“We immediately said yes,” Leigh continued. “We had plenty of room and we wanted to get to know Silver.” Her smile turned wry. “And maybe in the back of our minds we were hoping she would like us enough not to change her mind, because that can always happen and it’s heartbreaking.”
“For everyone.”
“Yes. So Silver moved in. We picked out baby furniture together and read prenatal books. What I didn’t realize was that while Silver and I were getting closer and closer, my marriage was falling apart. Paul and I didn’t have as much in common as we thought. Having Autumn allowed us to put off the inevitable, but I think because we were already drifting apart, Silver and I had more time together than we would have otherwise.”
She sighed. “Autumn’s birth was wonderful. Silver was so brave, and then I got to hold my daughter. It was the biggest blessing of my life. Silver went back to Happily Inc, but within a few weeks, it was obvious to all of us that she wasn’t comfortable. We invited her back to stay with us. She went to community college and worked and helped me with Autumn. When Paul moved out, Silver was right there to see me through it. When I was back on my feet, she moved back home and I went on with my life.” Her smile returned. “I planned on being a single parent the rest of my life.”
“That obviously didn’t happen.”
“It didn’t. Autumn spiked a fever on a Sunday morning and I rushed her to the emergency room. Denton was there, filling in for a friend. He took care of Autumn, who was just fine. Later, he followed up to see if she was all right. I was so ridiculous. I had no idea he was flirting with me. Finally I realized the man was asking me out.” She laughed. “I said yes. We fell in love and here we are.”
“And tomorrow you’re getting married.”
“Yes. So Autumn sees her dad every other weekend. She has dinner with him at least once a week and our holidays are shared. Paul married a couple of years ago. His new wife has three kids, two of whom are close to Autumn’s age. She likes having stepsiblings. Her life is happy and full.”
That was clear enough. “You’re saying Autumn already has plenty of dads.”
“No. I’m saying Autumn has lots of love and support. She’s a sweet girl and we all care about her. I’m saying as far as I’m concerned, you and Silver made the exact right decision. At least for us. I’m not sure what you’re thinking about yourself.”
“I don’t know what to think,” he admitted. “For years she was nameless and faceless. A concept. Yes, Silver and I had a baby and we’d given that baby up for adoption. This is completely different. Autumn is real and she could have been ours.”
He’d thought Leigh might get angry but instead her expression turned sympathetic. “Autumn still is real and she’s still yours. She will always be a part of you.”
“But I don’t know her.”
“You will after this week. And if you want to stay in touch with her, I’m fine with that. Silver talks to her online or through FaceTime. They text.” She laughed. “Autumn does love to talk about herself.”
“You make it sound easy.”
“There’s no reason in the world that it has to be hard.”
* * *
WHEN SILVER’S PHONE BEEPED, she read the text.
You around to talk?
Ever since the day Drew had met Autumn, she’d been waiting to hear from him. She’d thought he might call or come by last night, but there had only been radio silence. Given all he was dealing with, she’d debated contacting him herself, only to decide that the first contact should come from him.
I am. Want to bring a pizza? I have wine.
I’ll call in an order and see you soon.
She set her small table, then settled on the sofa to wait. Leigh and Autumn were spending the night before the wedding together at the Sweet Dreams Inn. They were ordering room service and watching movies together. In the morning, Silver would pick them up for their few hours of beauty. They were all getting mani-pedis, then having their hair done. Leigh was getting her makeup professionally done while Silver was going to do her own. Last she’d heard, Autumn was still angling for more than just lip gloss.
They needed to be at Weddings Out of the Box by three for pictures, then the ceremony began at five. Autumn would come home with Silver to start her week.
Drew showed up forty minutes after he’d texted, with a pizza and a bag of cookies from the bakery next door. She’d already opened the wine.
She let him in and took a second to study his face. Same old Drew, she thought with some relief. Whatever he was feeling, he wasn’t angry or sad. At least not that she could see.
“You okay?” she asked as they took their seats at the table.
“I’m dealing. Leigh came by to see me today. She told me what it was like while you were pregnant and staying with them.”
The information surprised her. Leigh had claimed to need the afternoon to do some last-minute errands. Silver hadn’t realized one of them was to go see Drew.
He opened the pizza box and she inhaled the delicious scent of all meat and extra cheese on a hand-tossed crust.
“And?” she asked, taking a slice.
“And there was a lot I didn’t know.” He looked at her. “I gotta tell you, Silver, I’m confused as hell. I don’t know what to think or what I feel. I’m angry, but I can’t figure out at who. You? Me? The world? I know in my head that you didn’t do anything wrong. I get that I wanted to give up our baby and you’re right. I signed the papers and went on with my life. I never asked because I guess it never occurred to me. Or maybe I didn’t want to know.”
“You didn’t want to be trapped,” she said gently. “I’m sure that was a worry.”
“You wouldn’t have trapped me.”
“There were times I thought I should have accepted your proposal.”
“Not many.” He took a bite and chewed. “You aren’t that way. You would want a man on your own terms, not because he felt obligated.”
Although he was right about that, she’d had plenty of weak moments. “I was scared and alone and pregnant. It wasn’t easy.” She held up a hand. “I’m not saying you should have been there or that I blame you, I’m just saying it was hard on me. Even being with Leigh and Paul wasn’t always enough. I felt like everyone was staring at me and judging me.”
“Did you ever think about not giving her up?”
“No.” She sipped her wine. “That’s my guilty secret. I love Autumn. I’m grateful she’s in my life, but I never once wanted to raise her by myself. I was too young, too unprepared.”
“And now? Do you think about having kids?”
“Not that often.”
His gaze settled on her face. “Because you don’t want them or because you can’t see it happening right now?”
“It’s more about circumstances than not wanting children. I could do it on my own, but that’s a tough road. I watched Leigh go through it and she had an ex-husband who wanted to be totally involved with his kid. Not all guys are like that.”
She picked up her slice of pizza. “I’m not making sense.”
“Yes, you are.”
They were quiet for a couple of minutes. Silver smiled suddenly. “Just think, if you’d married Ashley Lauren, you’d have a couple of kids with her by now.”
“Assuming she hadn’t already killed me in my sleep.”
“There is that. Although it’s a leap to go from trying to burn down a car to murder.”
“I think if anyone is capable of traveling that distance, it’s her.”
She finished her slice and wiped her hands on her napkin. “Drew, I’m sorry. Now that all this has happened, I realize I should have said something to you sooner about Autumn.”
He shrugged. “When was the right time? And what would you have said? What would you have expected me to do with the information? I knew our kid was out there. I could have asked if you knew anything. I could have registered with one of those agencies so she could have found me later, if she wanted. We both did what we did and now we’ve moved on.”
She wanted to believe that. “You said you’re still dealing with everything.”
“I am. And I still have to tell my mother.”
Silver stared at him. “No,” she breathed. “No way.” But he was right. Of course Irene had to know. “What do you think she’s going to say?”
“Whatever it is, it won’t be appropriate. I guarantee you that.” He raised his glass. “To our beautiful daughter.”
She smiled. “To Autumn.”
“So, about this wedding. Think I could be your date?”
She smiled. “I thought you’d never ask.”
* * *
BECAUSE OF ALL the beauty prep work, about which he knew nothing, Drew agreed to meet Silver at Weddings Out of the Box on Saturday around four. While he knew the venue and had even been to a couple of weddings there, this time felt more personal.
The largest room had been divided into two spaces. In one half were rows of chairs, waiting for the guests. In the other were the tables for the reception.
The place settings were layers of plates and chargers, all done in cream and gold. A champagne fountain stood in the corner, the stacked glasses ready for the champagne. The centerpieces were arrangements of flowers woven with strings of pearls and huge feathers. More pearls hung like streamers around the room. There were gilded mirrors and tables with fancy, feathered masks and flameless candles in glittering holders.
Renee greeted him at the door, a tablet in her hand. “You’re with Silver? Because you’re too early to be a guest. The bride’s room is that way.” She pointed to a hallway. “Everyone is already dressed. Just knock once and go in.”
Without waiting for him to respond, she hurried off as if she still had a thousand things to do. He would guess she very well might. Weddings seemed to be a big deal and a lot of work. He didn’t want to even begin to imagine what his mother would want his wedding to be.
He found the bride’s room and knocked. Rather than simply entering, he waited for the door to be opened. When it was, he saw Autumn standing on the other side.
Her dress was a flapper style with rows of pale pink fringe. She had on a headband with a feather and some kind of netting made into gloves. She grinned when she saw him.
“This is so much fun! We had mani-pedis and I got my hair done.” She turned to show him the tight curls pinned up in back. When she faced him again, she rolled her eyes. “Still no makeup and I totally begged, but it was a really good morning. Mom looks beautiful.”
Drew followed her gaze to where Leigh stood in a white wedding down. It was sleeveless, with a deep V, and fitted to just below her waist. From there it flared out with rows and rows of ruffly, fluffy material that cascaded to the floor. Her hair was up and she had on a triple strand of pearls. Silver was adjusting her dress as a photographer got into place.
Silver was wearing the dress he’d seen her in before. It looked different with her makeup and with her hair pinned up into fancy loops and curls. Her only jewelry was a simple pair of silver hoops.
He should have bought her jewelry. The thought surprised him. Jewelry? For Silver? When? They’d been teenagers when they’d been involved before and since then, it was hardly appropriate. Still, he couldn’t shake the sense of wanting to give her diamonds and sapphires and bangles and rings.
Leigh saw him and smiled. She waved Autumn over. Her daughter rushed to her side and snuggled close for a picture. Silver joined him.
“How’s it going?” she asked. “You going to be able to deal with all this?”
“I don’t have anything to do. I’m just a guest.”
“I meant later. When Leigh and Denton are gone and people realize you’re hanging out with an eleven-year-old girl who looks a lot like you.”
“I’m going to tell them I’m her biological father.”
Silver looked at him. “Do you mean that?”
“Absolutely. I want to get to know her and figure out where I fit in her life. You’re the one who had to give her up. How did you do that?”
“She was never mine. The second I picked Leigh and Paul, I knew that our baby belonged to them. I’m not saying it was easy, but it wasn’t hard, if that makes sense.”
It didn’t, so he would file it away with everything else. “You look beautiful.”
“Thank you. I’d say you clean up well, but you always wear a suit so this isn’t that different.”
He chuckled. “If there’s a compliment in there, thank you. If not, I’ll be quiet.”
“There was a compliment.” She watched the photographer. “Leigh is so happy. I’m thrilled she found Denton. They’re going to be great together.” She glanced at him. “Autumn is very excited about spending the week here and getting to know you.”
“I look forward to getting to know her, too.”
Silver’s gaze was steady. “And then she goes home, Drew. We made our decision a long time ago. She’s not ours.”
“I know. That’s not where I’m going.”
“I just want to be sure. For both your sakes.”
Because if he pushed on anything, Autumn would be hurt. He had no legal standing anymore—he was just the guy who gave up his kid one afternoon a million years ago. Now she belonged to someone else and he was one of three dads in her life.
They were where they were and if he didn’t like it, well, he only had himself to blame.