Sacha
The paper-thin gown was no match for the air conditioning in the examination room at my obstetrician's office. Shivering, I crossed my arms over my chest, to shield my taut nipples as much as to warm myself. How long was I going to have to wait like this? Practically naked and totally aggravated.
The aggravation had started that morning. I woke up in a pissy mood, which might be the fault of hormones but who knew? It seemed the closer it got to the weekend and my latest jaunt to Tilly, the worse was my outlook. I couldn't figure out exactly what was making me apprehensive. It was only Wednesday, so there was still time to back out. But my curiosity about Gib was winning out over my good sense, which meant I really should stay the hell away from him.
The doctor's entrance into the room broke me out of my thoughts. Martha Kapoor, M.D. was small in stature but had a large personality, warming the room instantly with her bright smile and loud voice.
"So how are we today? Are you chilled to the bone yet?"
The joke about the room temperature should have made me more upset, but I chuckled. Something about Dr. Kapoor's smile was infectious. I had only seen her twice so far but had immediately felt comfortable with her. Which was extremely important when the woman was going to examine my most intimate parts.
"Okay, young lady. Lay back and spread 'em."
The slight accent made Dr. Kapoor's brusque joke funnier. She sounded like she should be giving a lecture to academics, not telling a naked woman to bare her nether parts.
The humor eased the tension I had been feeling. Today was my first ultrasound, and that had to be part of why I was so worked up. We would be listening to the baby's heartbeat if all went well.
Dr. Kapoor was thorough in her examination but gentle. When she finished, a nurse came in to prepare me for the ultrasound. A gel was applied to my stomach at several locations, and the sensors were attached. The nurse stood by while Dr. Kapoor adjusted the machine.
My heart was beating so fiercely in my chest, I thought it would drown out the baby's. I've waited all my life for this moment. Please be healthy…
Dr. Kapoor held the stethoscope to my belly, which was only slightly pouched. I was thirteen and a half weeks along, and only beginning to show.
"Shouldn't I be bigger by now, doctor? It's over three months."
"Some women's bellies are bigger at this point, but some also take a bit longer to grow. Everything feels right, so far." I held my breath as she continued to listen, feeling my belly in sections. It seemed to be taking forever. Then Dr. Kapoor gasped. "Wait. I found it. Listen."
She nodded to the nurse, who turned up the volume on the machine. Thump-thump. Thump-thump.
It was faint, but it was obviously a heartbeat. A really fast heartbeat. Tears came, followed by a joyful laugh. "Oh, wow. I can't believe it."
"Believe it, honey. You're going to be a mother."
My baby was alive and well. This was really happening. I felt nothing but gratitude in that moment, for the miracle of life growing within me. I even felt like thanking Gib for giving me this priceless gift.
Would he feel the same joy as I was now? After what he went through, losing his wife and child, would he be able to love this baby? He said he wanted to care for us, and he seemed sincere. But what was he really capable of giving?
The procedure was over, and I wiped my eyes on the thin gown. Only time would tell how it was going to work out with Gibson Colebank. All I knew was, no one was ever going to hurt me again or harm this child in any way.
~*~