Aston
The memory of Elise curled up and crying always haunted me.
She was sixteen, sweet and beautiful. Her body had started to develop rapidly over the course of one year. Her legs were long, her hips wide and soft. Her breasts had come out of nowhere, small but perky. It gave me headaches at the dinner table. She’d wear these tiny little tank tops without a bra on, and that brain of mine hammered away, constructing, deconstructing, reconstructing.
It was misery. I had cold showers every goddamn day.
I felt sick with guilt. Was I so seedy, I couldn’t look at this damn girl unaffected? Did I have to want her every second of every minute of every hour of every fucking day? Was there never a break to this madness?
To make matters more complicated, her blossomed looks attracted the attention of that many dicks. She went from being the pretty girl next door to a girl they all wanted to fuck. It didn’t help she was a police officer’s daughter, and that this temptation was too enticing for the dicks to pass up.
So when I heard her crying that night, I knew something terrible had happened. She wasn’t one to cry. When it happened, it was far and few. Elise always smiled, always made jokes and lit a room up with laughter.
It was two in the morning when I first heard it. She was meant to be at Cindy’s place on a sleepover. I knew it wasn’t going to be as innocent as Dad thought it was. They wouldn’t have a movie marathon and eat pizza like she’d told him they’d be doing.
Elise was innocent, but she wasn’t the kind of girl that passed up fun. And that girl loved to dance. She loved to socialize and laugh. She was the life of a party. I would know, she’d dragged me to that many of them over the years. Maybe if she didn’t think I was so fucking miserable, she’d have invited me to the one she’d been at tonight.
I left my bedroom and quietly opened her door. The lamp on her night table was on, and her bed was untouched. I scanned the room but I couldn’t find her. I moved to the bathroom in the corner of her room and slowly approached. I could hear the shower on, and I stood outside the door, wondering if I should open it or wait.
I heard her muffled cries, and they cut me to the bone. I couldn’t just stand there. I had to know what was wrong. My need for her did not sit dormant; it raged like an inferno, deciding my next actions before my brain could compute.
On a deep breath, I opened the door and stepped in. I immediately found her in the shower stall, sitting under the spray in a white dress with her knees pulled to her chest. Her blonde hair was pressed against the side of her face, and she was shaking.
A bolt of panic shot through me. I grabbed a towel off the hook and quickly opened the stall door. Cold water hit me when I stepped in. It was fucking freezing. I sucked in a breath and quickly turned it off before I knelt down in front of her and wrapped her lithe body with the towel. Her shaking hands gripped it as she sobbed, sucking in breaths every few moments.
What the fuck happened?
I grabbed the corner of the towel and pressed it against her make-up smeared face, drying it as best I could. She wasn’t startled by my touch. Instead, she sank into it and lifted her face to me. When her red eyes caught mine, I felt a chill run through me.
“What happened?” I asked her tightly.
“He…he touched me,” she whimpered out.
I knew damn well what anger was. I’d felt it throughout my life, locked away in a room while every foster parent I’d ever had decided to neglect me or beat me. I’d clawed at my face numerous times in my loneliness, trying to feel pain instead of anger. It was anger over not understanding what I did to deserve the life I had. I’d been surrounded by so much violence before the Wright family took me in; it was inevitable that a part of it had found its way inside of me.
For the first time since being here that was what I felt in that shower stall, looking at a girl I was obsessed with crying. I felt violent. As violent as every monster in my past. I wanted to punch the wall with my fist just to feel my knuckles break. This anger was alive, a separate entity consuming me; it was unlike anything I’d ever experienced.
I kept my face passive so she wouldn’t see it. I’d scare her otherwise. Fucking hell, I was scaring myself just feeling it.
“Who touched you?” I demanded softly.
She looked away from me. “D…Deck.”
My blood turned to lava. “What did he do?”
More tears streamed down her face. “I don’t know if I deserved it. Maybe I sent him the wrong signals –”
“What did he do?” I repeated, calmly.
“We were dancing, and not in any seductive way or anything, but…it was fun, you know?”
I nodded. “I know.”
“He…he said he wanted to grab another CD from his room because I’d complained about the songs replaying.”
Rage. Rage. “You were at his house?”
“He was throwing a party.”
“What happened next?”
She tightened the towel around her, looking ashamed as she said, “I followed him there because I felt a little responsible for making him change the music. He told me he’d show me a few CDs and I’d get to choose. He took me there and…I feel so fucking stupid, Aston. I’m so stupid.”
“Tell me, El.”
“He handed me a whole bunch of CDs, and as I started going through them, he started to rub my back. I moved away from him, but he kept coming closer. I could smell the alcohol on his breath, he was that close. Just to get rid of him, I picked a random CD and gave it to him. He took it and threw it on the dresser, and then he…he tried to kiss me, but I didn’t want it. He got a little angry and pushy. He…he shoved me on the bed and climbed over me, and then he pinned me under him and tried to kiss me again, promising I’d enjoy it. I stopped fighting so he’d stop being so pushy, and his…hands went everywhere. They went everywhere! Between my legs – everywhere! I felt so sick, like I wanted to throw up, and…I knew I couldn’t just go along with it. So…as he started to kiss my neck, I ran my hand down his head and when I got to his face I clawed at it and kicked him in the balls. He was so shocked. He got off me, screaming about what a tease I was, and everyone heard him, Aston. The guys laughed at me when I ran out of there, and Cindy swore at them, and the girls…the girls were the worst, pointing at me and calling me a tease.”
I didn’t speak for a few moments. My entire fucking body was trembling, though. My vision even spotted at the rage building inside of me.
“It’s my fault, isn’t it?” she asked me, sniffing as she looked at me. “You’re not saying anything because it’s my fault. I was probably asking for it.”
My hands gripped her face, and I leaned closer, until I was inches away. Looking at her in the eyes, I gritted out, “Don’t. Don’t you fucking dare blame yourself. None of this was your fault.”
“But I followed him to his room –”
“That doesn’t mean shit, El. You didn’t want it. The second you pushed him away, he should have stopped. He would have done a hell of a lot more to you if you didn’t get him off you.”
She eyed me closely. “Do…Do you hate me?”
I let out a shocked breath. “Hate you? How the fuck could I ever hate you, Elise? I hate myself for not being there.”
“You didn’t know. I…I didn’t want to drag you there –”
“You take me to every party from now on. I want to be there. Do you hear?”
She nodded.
“Did he hurt you?”
She didn’t respond, and that only made the rage inside tick.
“Did he hurt you, Elise?” I demanded a little harsher than I intended.
She reluctantly opened the towel and showed me her wrists. “He gripped my wrists really hard.”
I took them into my hands and studied them. Sure enough, there were red marks along her left wrist, like he’d squeezed it. Again, I fought the anger from showing on my face. I swallowed it all down, but I couldn’t stop the quakes running through my body.
Elise was a temple. Her body was so beautiful, she deserved worship. I felt like someone had come close to ruining that sacredness.
I thirsted for violence. Holy fuck, I wanted Deck’s head rolling off his shoulders, preferably after I’d made him suffer.
I rubbed her wrists softly. “Come on, let’s get you dressed.”
I helped stand her up, and the towel fell from her body. I glimpsed at her small white dress, plastered to her skin and practically see through when wet. It ended at her upper thighs, showing off her legs. There was a lot of cleavage, and had I known she’d dress like this to a party with a bunch of obnoxious teenage fucks, I’d have been there in a heartbeat.
My fingers shot out to the collar of her dress. She froze, staring at me with wide eyes as I ran my finger down the front with a frown. “It’s torn here,” I remarked.
She looked down at the rip from the collar to her breasts. Her pink bra was visible, and she reddened as she hid the tear with her hand.
“I didn’t know he did that too,” she muttered, not meeting my eye.
What could be said without cursing? I exhaled slowly and took her by the hand. Her cold fingers entwined tightly around mine. I led her to her bed and left her standing there as I rummaged through her dresser drawers. I pulled out a shirt of mine (not surprised because she always stole my clothes). It was a big black band shirt, and I tossed it her way, knowing she’d want to be in something baggy. Then I grabbed some shorts and threw them on her bed too.
She turned her back to me. “Can you unzip me?” she asked, her voice small. “I can’t reach it.”
I moved to her slowly, my eyes already drinking in her figure, and the wet drops falling from the ends of her hair, leaving wet lines down her legs. I fucking hated this. Hated checking her out when she was so distressed. Seedy fuck, Aston.
I took her long blonde hair in my hands and shuffled it gently over one shoulder. She grabbed it, her fingers brushing against mine. I lingered at the touch and hesitated, not realizing how much I was holding my breath until my chest ached.
Then my fingers grabbed the zipper at the top of her dress and slowly pulled it down. It ended just below her bra strap. There were more droplets down her back, and I wondered what she’d taste like if I swiped at it with my tongue.
On a short breath, I stepped back and turned away, hearing her shuffle out of her dress and the material hitting the floor. I breathed in and out, trying to ignore the strange feelings battling inside of me. Anger and…desire. I shut my eyes and saw fat droplets on skin. Saw them falling down her legs, between her breasts, down her spine…
Stripped from control, I looked over my shoulder. She had just unclasped her bra and thrown it down. Her slender arms reached out to the shirt. I saw the curve of her small breast as she hastily put it over her head. My eyes drank in her soft back and the damp pink underwear that made her ass look…fucking incredible. The second she began pulling those down, I looked away and shook my head.
Off-limits. She’s off-limits.
“I’m done,” she whispered to me.
I turned to her, clenching my jaw as I nodded. “Good. Get in bed.”
She wavered, staring at me. “Can…Can you stay for a little while longer? I don’t want to be alone right now.”
It was a bad idea. I needed a cage surrounded by four feet concrete all around, but…I nodded anyway. I couldn’t say no. Not to Elise.
She slipped into her bed and under the light covers. I sat down on the edge of her bed and kept my eyes on the window. The images of her ass and smooth back plagued me. I gripped the back of my neck and squeezed at the taut muscles. I couldn’t stop the images, and it was starting to fuck with me physically.
“Please don’t tell Dad,” she told me sometime later. “Please, Aston. It’ll just make everything worse.”
“I didn’t plan on it,” I told her, unable to keep the edge hidden from my voice.
“You’re not…you’re not going to do anything, are you?”
I slowly turned my face to her. She was watching me intently, biting her lips like she did when she was worried. If she only knew what that did to me. I resisted with everything inside of me not to lean over the bed right that second and take that lip into my mouth and suck…Fuck, I’d suck that lip so hard.
Breathe in, breathe out.
“Get some sleep,” I told her, intentionally avoiding her question.
She closed her eyes and I waited for her to sleep. It didn’t come easy. She still shook from disgust at the way that fucking dickhead touched her. God, I was going to tear him a new one.
“Can you lay down next to me?” she asked me in a whisper, keeping her eyes closed.
I stared at her for some time, breathing in and out as I debated her question. Then I dropped down on the bed and rested my head on the same pillow as hers. Her hand sought me out a second later. They wrapped around my palm, fingers linked, her cool skin against my warmth. I felt the tremors in her as she clutched it tightly. I clutched back because it was Elise and I couldn’t fight this if I tried.
“Thank you for being understanding,” she told me, sniffing again. “I was so scared you’d be disappointed in me.”
I looked at her and it burned me to see more tears falling down her cheeks. I moved closer and with my other hand I swiped my thumb across her wet skin. That made her eyes open, and she stared at me, her eyes cloudy and tired.
“You’re not a disappointment,” I told her. “You’re a good person, El.”
“You’re the best person,” she replied. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me. I don’t know how clueless I’d have been without you. You make things so much better, Aston. The world turns when you’re around.”
I smiled softly. “I stole your thunder six years ago.”
She smiled back. “You didn’t. You brought lightning.”
“You’re thunder and I’m lightning?”
That smiled broadened and my chest stretched at the sight of it. “We make the perfect storm, don’t you think?”
I nodded once. I was still touching her face. My hand cupped her cheek and my thumb rubbed beneath her eye at the tears that had fallen. My breathing went shallow as I wondered what I’d have done in this situation if we weren’t Aston and Elise.
I’d have kissed her. Ravaged her. I’d have touched her if she allowed it and undressed her with my teeth.
I removed my hand on a defeated sigh and looked away from her. I was twisted inside, afraid of the way my skin ignited with the need to touch her. It took an awful long time for the moment to pass, for her breaths to even out. When sleep came and she was out, it was a victory for me. I survived and kept our family intact.
I returned to my room, and then I sat at my desk, turned the lamp on and opened a textbook. Elise’s body had turned me on, and I didn’t want to give in. I needed a distraction – I needed numbers.
“What is the wave speed for the transverse traveling wave on this string?” I mumbled aloud, reading the question over and over again before I started a diagram.
Pink, wet underwear.
Her teeth biting into her lip.
That fucking back.
Drops between her breasts.
Somewhere in the middle of it all, my pencil snapped in two and I threw it across the room, panting out loud. I ran my hand through my hair and then pressed my fingers into my eyes, rubbing at them.
“He touched her,” I whispered, my body trembling. “He fucking touched her.”
She said no, and he touched her.
He touched what was mine.
That dirty little fuck with his dirty fucking hands.
I growled deep in my throat as another wave of rage ran through me.
I was going to fuck him up.