The hot water feels good, but my skin is already so heated that I’m sweating by the time I turn off the faucet. And I feel just as dirty as when I got in. I scrubbed my ass and dick, hoping to mask some of the musky scent with Jude’s body wash, but the clean scent just reminds me of Jude, and that brings on a whole new bout of arousal. It’s a never-ending cycle. And having never experienced anything like this before, I’m not sure what to do.

After quickly drying off, I slip into the loose pajama bottoms and T-shirt Jude gave me. The pants fit better than I’d expect and I know they can’t be his. An unpleasant feeling passes through my gut as I realize they probably belong to an ex…or maybe not even an ex. Maybe just a hookup. Although, hookups don’t usually travel with plaid PJs.

I’m suddenly exhausted and just want to lie down. I run the towel over my hair a few times then step out into the hallway. Jude isn’t around so I decide to take him up on his earlier offer and make myself at home in his bedroom. The comforter has been turned down so I consider that invitation enough and climb between the sheets. His big bed is just the right combination of soft and supportive but the best part is how it smells.

God, it smells amazing.

Just like Jude.

Shit, I’m wet again and a cold sweat covers my body. I’ve heard heat symptoms can be miserable, mimicking the flu and getting progressively worse until the biological need is met or the cycle eventually passes. But the fastest way to force it to pass is to fulfill the need. And god, the need is high. I’ve never been so horny or desperate in my life. With each passing second, my mind becomes more and more focused on the possibility of sex.

Real sex.

Consensual sex.

With Jude.

* * *

A shooting pain in my belly wakes me up and I cry out, not sure what’s happening. Curling in a ball helps relieve some of the pressure but it’s still there. What’s happening to me?

“Andy?” It takes me a second to realize Jude is rushing toward me. That’s when I remember where I am. And that I’m in his bed. “Are you okay?”

I try to smile at him to reassure him that I’m okay, but I’m not. So I’m sure whatever is happening on my face looks more like a strained wince than anything remotely reassuring. “It just hurts.”

“Like pain?” Jude’s wide palm lands across my forehead. “Is that normal? Maybe you need to see a doctor.”

“It’s normal.” I take a deep breath and shift my weight so I don’t look as uncomfortable as I actually am. “It’s never happened to be but I think working so closely with you has thrown my body into overdrive or something. That could be why the suppressants failed this time.”

“God, Andy.” Jude steps back and runs his fingers through his hair. “I’m so sorry. I had no idea that would happen.”

“Me neither.” My breathing is shallow so I feel a little dizzy, especially since Jude has retreated from my side. “That’s just a theory, but it makes sense.”

“Is there anything we can do?” Jude is pacing the length of his small room and I can feel the tension rolling off him with each pass by the foot of the bed. “Maybe your doctor can prescribe something stronger.”

I shake my head. “It’s too late. Once it’s this bad, there’s nothing to do but wait it out.”

“How long do you have to suffer like this?” Jude looks ready to pull his own hair out, at a loss for a way to be useful in this situation.

“Probably not more than forty-eight hours. I think that’s usually the worst-case scenario in an unfulfilled heat.” Another pain shoots up my spine and I arch my back as if that’ll stop movement before it lands in a nerve receptacle.

“God, Andy, what can I do?” Jude kneels in front of me, his hands clasped on the mattress as if praying for an answer.

Even though it’s completely inappropriate, I can’t pass up the chance to ask for what I want. Who knows if I’ll ever have a chance like this again? Besides, he asked first. “You can help me fulfill it.”

Jude’s eyes lock on mine and the primal need I’m feeling is reflected back within those blue orbs. “How do I do that?”

“Never mind.” I inch my knees closer to my chest, needing to force some kind of relief from the cramping in my belly. “I’ll be okay.”

“Andy.” Jude’s voice is strong and solid, not at all as nervous as he seemed just moments ago. “Tell me what that means.”

I can’t resist him if I wanted to. Which I don’t. “Well, if I actually take a knot, the symptoms should go away. At least, that’s what I’ve read.”

Jude’s jaw is clenched and I can’t tell if he’s angry or excited or confused…or disgusted. He’s seen me at my most vulnerable, during the worst moment of my life. I wouldn’t blame him for being completely disgusted by the mere suggestion of knotting me. “Has that helped you in the past?”

“I’ve never had a real heat before.” I try to take shallow breaths, wondering if that might help. If nothing else, maybe I’ll pass out from lack of oxygen and that might give me a few moments of relief.

“What about when you’ve had sex in the past?” Jude’s eyes are studying my face but I don’t know what he’s looking for. “Other than in the obvious way, do you feel relief afterward?”

“I already told you I didn’t have experience like that. Except for…you know.” I roll onto my back and turn to face the back wall, unable to hold his gaze any longer. Maybe he wants to watch my reactions, but I definitely don’t want to watch his. Seeing judgment or pity on his face would crush me, especially right now.

“You’re not saying you’re a virgin, right?” Jude’s voice is louder now and the disbelief is evident. But there’s something else in there too.

I bark out a pathetic laugh. “Well, I was until that night you found me.”