Chapter 13
I woke up. I must have dozed off in the departure lounge. The plane had been delayed for a few hours. Some kind of technical fault they'd said, but now the boarding call had woken me and everyone had begun to board. I leisurely stretched my limbs and yawned, then grabbed a hold of my small rucksack and joined the queue with the remaining passengers.
Outside on the stand, it was cold and dark. As always, there was a massive queue for the front aircraft steps so I decided to make my way towards the less busy ones at the back.
I began to mount the back steps, all the while stuck in a tired and dazed world of my own as my mind wandered all over the place. Thoughts regarding the past few days and my adventures and travels here in gay Paris: visiting an old friend of mine who now lived and worked in the city of passion and romance. Then more thoughts entered my subconscious. Thoughts reminding me to check for the twentieth time that I still had both my passport and boarding card in my back, left trouser pocket. For the twenty-first time in checking, it was still there.
When my day dreaming mind came back to reality, I had almost reached the top of the aircraft steps. Out of nowhere, I caught the scent of an alluring freshness which, for a few magical moments, transported me to the first day of spring upon the edges of an enchanted forest, straight out of a Disney animation movie.
I blinked hard, focusing my full concentration on the host of this wonderful scent. She was climbing just a few feet ahead of me. I couldn't see her face at first, which hid behind that long and straight, dirty blonde hair. How I never spotted her before back in the departure lounge, I will never know. But judging by the contours of her toned figure through her pink sweater and skintight jeans, I knew that she had to be a beauty.
I followed her up the aircraft steps in a kind of mystified daze. I couldn't take my eyes off that splendidly perky and petite figure and its sensational wiggle as she mounted the steps. It was hypnotic. We reached the top of the steps and the airhostess standing at the back entrance asked to see the woman's boarding card. The pink sweater lady pulled the ticket from her open handbag while shooting a sideways glance at the hostess. It was the first time I saw her strangely familiar face and I felt drawn to her at once.
She had beautifully-pale and slightly-freckled skin, big round blue eyes, and a perfectly-dimpled smile that’s just simply to die for. She must have been in her mid to late twenties at least. And with that dirty blonde hair, wow, what an angel! The hostess handed the woman back her boarding card and she quickly moved on down the aisle of the plane to find her seat.
I swiftly showed the hostess my own boarding card and anxiously followed after the woman, fully conscious that I was stalking behind but I wanted to see where she might sit. She looked to be travelling alone so there would be a chance, I realized, that a split-second opportunity for the two of us to sit next to each other would present itself in our time lines.
In my head, I could see the scenario perfectly performed as suave and as smooth as James Bond himself would. Once she had found her place, I imagined myself ever so boldly taking the woman's hand luggage from her grasp, without even asking for permission, and lifting it up into the overhead locker with a mischievous grin as she turned to face me, slightly startled at my boldness. Our eyes would meet for the very first time and I'd ask with a charming yet sincere tone, if the seat beside hers was taken.
“No, help yourself,” she'd reply in a mischievous, flirty tone. Swiftly, I would. And that would be it. The start of our big, wild, passionate love affair. The first day of the rest of our splendid and adventurous lives together. Sadly, though, does such piffle romantic nonsense play out in real life unless you look like Brad Pitt.
Back in the real world, she found her seat. Three free rows of emptiness all to herself. I found a seat too, a couple of rows behind, and excruciatingly slowly placed my rucksack down upon the seat. What the hell was I doing? Why didn't I just go the hell over there and take the seat beside her?
For some reason I felt that I needed a few moments to analyse the situation when act-first-think-later would have favoured me better.
I watched her now as she struggled to lift her small heavy suitcase into the overhead locker, as I had predicted. So this was my chance. This was my moment.
I hesitated, in a nervous bumble, to step forward, pat her on the shoulder, and ask if she needed my assistance. Hardly half a breath came up and over my dried-up lips. So I just stood there. Dumbstruck and rooted to the spot like some bumbling idiot, completely paralysed between two minds. As the seconds stuttered by, the moment seemed well and truly over. Gone forever. And the more I hesitated, the worse it got. Now I could see an old man seated in front of her, a gentleman no less, who was just about to stand to his feet and offer his assistance to the woman.
Suddenly, an instinct overcame my entire body like nothing I had ever felt or experienced before. Without even thinking or even realising how I was doing this action, I found myself stepping towards her. I swiftly grabbed her heavy case, taking the handle from her grasp without even asking.
“Here. Let me get that for you,” I said loud and proud, before lifting the case high up into the overhead compartment.
When I finally turned to face the woman, I froze where I stood as my eyes gazed upon her familiar face. She, too, had also frozen on the spot as she stared deep and solidly into my own eyes with a burning recognition. Then my heart skipped a beat. Our gazes at one another grew stronger and more intense. I felt in my heart and in my soul some kind of vague familiarity about this girl, just as I'd briefly sensed when I'd first seen her at the top of the aircraft steps.
She smiled at me now, but still with that lingering gaze, and it melted my heart. Somehow, I knew this girl. I knew her. Jesus Christ, I knew her! And as my memory banks raced through their deepest and darkest storage-pits, desperately seeking and searching for an answer, trying to make the connection, the woman finally spoke and everything came flooding back to me in a tidal wave of emotions.
“Ryan? Is it really you?”
I couldn't believe my eyes nor ears. It was Alex. The beautiful Czech girl from maybe five or so years ago. The girl I'd spent one wonderful day showing around my gorgeous city only to lose her forever in one, stupid, deceitful moment of dishonesty and madness. How I had forgotten everything that had gone between, up until that very point, I'll never know. And for one terrible moment it seemed as if it might all be a dream, but no. I remembered everything now. I remembered it so clearly as if it had only happened an hour ago.
“Alex? Holy shit. Alex!”
“Ryan. I just cannot believe this. I really just cannot believe it.”
“Of all the planes in the world right now, you step into mine,” I said beaming back at her.
We finally stepped towards the other and threw our arms around each other, embracing hard, the way only long lost friends and lovers could. Our overly dramatic reunion caught the eyes of almost every other passenger onboard but I didn't care. I didn't give a shit. Let them stare. Let them judge and make assumptions. After I'd hugged Alex for as long and as hard as I possibly could, I held her out in front of me just so I could get a better look at her.
She smiled and studied me hard too. She was a little older now, by at least five or six years. My mind was still in a tumultuous mess of emotions. Her face was thinner than I remembered, paler too, yet, strangely, she seemed more beautiful now than she'd ever been in her early twenties.
Jesus Christ, I had a million and one questions eddying in my mind that I wanted to ask, no, needed to ask her. What the hell happened to her that night? Where did she go after she left me? Did she ever get married in the end? Is she married now? What was she doing with her life now? Why was she in Paris and why the hell was she flying to Edinburgh at this very moment in time? Alex pulled my hand and beckoned me to come with her, back to her seat.
“Come. Please. Come sit down beside me Ryan. Please.”
She began leading me into her row of free seats. I stopped though, remembering my bag which I'd left upon my own seat a few rows back.
“Let me just quickly grab my bag.”
“Sure,” Alex said, releasing my hand and smiling as she sat.
I made my way to the seat where I'd left my luggage and grabbed it. I was about to turn and make my way back to Alex when something dark and boding overwhelmed my senses. At once, I felt a great danger. Like I was going to die and soon. Yet I could not explain or even understand why I was suddenly feeling this way. Was I having some kind of anxious panic attack? I'd never had one before while on a plane, so why was I having one now? But something deep inside my gut was urging me to get off that bloody plane and the sooner the better.
Half my mind didn't care though. I was with Alex again and in just a few seconds I would be sitting beside her and reminiscing our past in great, lengthy detail. I was so excited to be learning everything about her all over again and everything new that had happened in her life, up until this very day.
I was about to ignore my new dark intuition and horrible gut feeling when I suddenly remembered. Like some form of deja vu of being on this aircraft at some point before in my past. But that was impossible, wasn’t it? Surely? I began to feel dizzy as crazy and horrific flashbacks filled my mind. The same passengers’ faces I had seen in real life while boarding the plane were now screaming in terror in my mind as the plane began to crash to its doom, taking all the lives on board with it.
I saw luggage, people, electronic items, books, and pillows, all flying around the cabin as the plane violently shuddered around us. I then turned and saw Alex, still in her seat. She was hugging into some other man for dear life, sobbing and crying into his chest as the man did his best to comfort her. I cried out her name over the surrounding screams and howls. After my second attempt at gaining her attention she glanced up from the man's chest only to stare at me with her tear-filled eyes, eyes that were no longer filled with recognition or with any kind of joy to see me.
I blinked hard.
I was still on the plane and everything was calm. Passengers were still making their way on board and settling into their seats. I glanced back over at Alex who was still sitting on her seat but with her neck turned as she avidly watched me. She smiled warmly and mouthed the words 'What is taking you so long?'
I gulped hard and quickly approached her, this time with my rucksack in tow. Alex's curious grin swiftly turned to a worried frown as she studied the sudden change in my demeanor.
“What is it?” she asked. “What is wrong?”
“Do you trust me?” I said back at her in a low tone, not wishing to alarm any of the other passengers about my crazy flashbacks. But seeing Alex in those flashes, and in such traumatic distress, really forced me into taking action and fast.
“We need to do something together, right now. It's a bit far out and you're not going to like it— “
“Ryan, you're worrying me. What is it?” Alex interrupted.
“I just... I just had the craziest feeling of deja vu, you know,” I quickly said, getting the words out and off my chest as quickly as possible. I glanced around the plane again, unable to look Alex in the eye.
“I know what you mean,” Alex softly replied. She smiled and placed her hand on mine. I turned my attention back towards her again and finally looked her in the eye.
“I have so many questions for you, Alex. So many questions.”
“Me too Ryan, me too.”
“But we have to get off this plane.”
Alex looked a little shaken by my crazy and bold statement. She was about to say something yet somehow she just couldn't find the words.
“I know it's really fucking crazy,” I continued. “And don't ask me to explain either. Well, not here anyhow. But we have to get off this plane, right now. Before they close the doors.”
“But Ryan, why? I don't understand.”
“We'll get the next flight, okay? I'll pay for the tickets, the bags, a meal, some drinks, everything. Please Alex. Just—just go with me on this, okay?”
Alex hesitated as her mind tried to rationalise the situation. She began glancing all around. The airhostess at the back of the aircraft was about to close the rear door now that everyone had boarded. Seeing this, I swiftly held out my hand for Alex to take and wore a calm and reassuring smile that told her that everything would be all right if she just gave me her hand and trusted me.
“Let's just go and grab a coffee in the terminal, catch up for a few hours and take the next flight.”
Alex remained silent and continued to glance all around.
“Please?” I said, soft as a summer breeze.
Suddenly one of the hostesses from the back of the aircraft asked me to hurry up and take my seat. I ignored her and continued to plead with Alex, even though I could not explain the crazy situation one bit to her in that moment.
“Please, Alex. I beg you, please.”
For some reason I didn't expect it, but Alex finally smiled warmly up at me and, without any further words, took my hand. I helped her grab her suitcase back down from the overhead locker and within moments we were rushing up the aisle and towards the rear of the plane.
When we reached the back door I immediately confronted the angry hostess.
“We don't want to fly anymore. We both want to get off,” I said determined.
The hostess continued to frown before letting out a deep, hard sigh.
***
Everything happened so quickly after that. Within a few minutes the baggage handlers had reconnected the rear steps. We hurried down, hand in hand and were swiftly ushered back inside the terminal by a couple of airport security guards.
When anyone questioned me about wanting to come off I just told them the half-truth: I had a massive panic attack aboard the aircraft and couldn't fly at that moment in time. I didn't really need to go into the details as no one would have believed me anyhow. And my clairvoyant visions surely wouldn't have been nearly enough to cancel the flight on their own.
The security guards soon led us out into the arrivals hall before leaving us to our own accord in the main terminal. As soon as they left our vicinity, Alex turned to me wearing a sly grin, desperately seeking some answers.
“So are you going to tell me what the hell that was all about?”
I smiled back at her and gingerly shook my head like I didn't have the faintest clue where to start with all this. Instead, I took a few steps closer towards her so that our faces and lips were only inches apart.
“I will. But right after I show you the difference between sneaky and cheeky again.”
Alex grinned. She was about to chuckle and shake her head in protest, but I swiftly placed my hands on both sides of her face and pulled her close until our lips finally met and we were kissing, softly at first, then increasingly more passionate. I swore, time had completely stood still. And after what seemed like an eternity we both pulled our lips and faces apart.
“You have no idea how good it is to see you again,” I said with the utmost sincerity, beaming at her.
“You too, Ryan. You too,” Alex said right back at me.
We both hesitated for another lifetime. Too engrossed with the other to speak in that wonderful moment as we just stared into each other’s eyes and souls, losing ourselves completely.
“So are you going to tell me what that was all about?” Alex finally said, still gazing at me without even blinking or breaking her eye contact.
I took a deep breath and let out a huge sigh of relief. Relieved that we could finally talk without any interruptions.
“Okay...” I said. “Do you remember what I told you on the plane about deja vu?”
Alex nodded considerately. She looked suspicious, but greatly intrigued.
“Cool. So let me start at the very beginning.” I took a deep breath. “Just as I was about to board the plane for the first time, not the second, I saw you climbing up the aircraft steps…”
***
Over the next few hours, while we waited for our newly-booked flight to Edinburgh—the last flight of the night, in fact, Alex and I sat in a quiet little corner of a coffee shop in Terminal 2 of Paris Charles De Galle Airport and caught up with our lives. I found out that she did end up marrying the man that she had come all the way to Scotland to think about marrying. Their marriage though had only lasted a couple of years and after a messy divorce, thankfully, with no kids to fight over, Alex decided to save up some money and travel the world for a whole year. Something she had always dreamed about doing.
It wasn't until the end of those travels that she started thinking about us again and what might have become of me. She even thought about forgiving me too and perhaps even looking me up again one day. In fact, she had just recently returned home to Czech when she decided that she would definitely go and visit Edinburgh again for a few days, one of her most favourite and one of the most memorable places she'd ever been to. Mainly, thanks to my amazing tour-guiding skills, I had quickly teased her.
Up until she had boarded the flight, she had no idea if she would actually have the courage to try and look me up. She just had the sudden urge to go to the city again, walk around her gothic streets and let fate take care of the rest. If something happened, then something happened. If it didn't, then it was never truly meant to be in the first place. Then low and behold, after flying from Prague to Paris, and then as she was about to take her next transfer flight to Edinburgh—who did she bump into again?
Fate was a cunning mischief-maker, full of tricks and surprises for sure.
When we were about to make a move and head up into the departure lounge for our late-night flight to Scotland, we quickly checked an English-speaking news channel up on one of the big screens outside the cafe. There were no reports of any airplane crashes that night and I felt deeply relieved to learn that fact. We even checked the internet on our phones too and saw that the flight we had recently asked to come off, had safely made it to Edinburgh, pretty much on time and in one piece.
With that soothing knowledge at hand I began to fully relax and finally enjoy the present moment of just being with Alex, walking side by side through the terminal and smiling at her and she at me, just like old times.
Suddenly, I remembered that kiss we'd shared together walking along The Cowgate all those years ago, after listening to the busker underneath the South Bridge of Edinburgh Old Town. Back in the present and right there in the middle of Terminal 2 of Paris Charles de Gaulle, I felt positively inspired to stop in my tracks, pull Alex close towards me, and hopefully not for the last time in my life, kiss her right on her soft, beautiful lips. I then took a hold of her hand and led her towards the departure gate and our next flight back to Edinburgh.
The End