“I’m sorry, it’s not funny,” Summer added the little caveat between a giggle she was trying and epically failing to contain. “I just can’t believe that you spent the week with Balen Kroft, had wild monkey sex with the guy, and you had no idea who he was.”

It was purely self-preservation that prompted Autumn to finally tell her friend the truth—or most of it, anyway. Perhaps her omission of the most painful details had instigated her friend’s inappropriate and less than supportive response. But honest to God, she couldn’t take the badgering anymore. Not when all Autumn wanted to do was put it behind her, pick up the broken pieces, and try to move on. Easier said than done. Her heart would never allow her to forget—and neither would Summer, apparently.

She was like a dog with a bone. Why? Autumn had no idea. It wasn’t like her bestie to be so insensitive. And yet here she was, lying on her stomach, elbows propped on Autumn’s bed, knees bent, feet twirling in the air, like they used to do when they were kids, talking about boys they had crushes on. Maybe this was Summer’s way of torturing the details out of her. If so, her tactic was working because Autumn was about ready to tell her anything to get her to shut up.

“How would I know who he was?” Autumn snapped, not even trying to hide her annoyance anymore. “You didn’t know either.”

Summer really needed to let this go. It was hard enough just getting out of bed in the mornings. These days, putting one foot in front of the other seemed more effort than it was worth. After those first few days, Balen had stopped trying to call her. She told herself it was for the best. He was moving on, which was what she needed to do—but Summer was not helping.

Her chest physically ached she missed him so much. She missed sharing his breakfast in the mornings, she missed their adventures together. She missed his touch, his kiss…the way he made love to her. But most of all, she missed who she was with him. For the first time since she could remember, she’d been genuinely happy. It didn’t matter how many times she tried to tell herself she’d fallen in love with a fantasy—her stubborn heart refused to move on. Would it ever?

“I dropped a suitcase on the guy. You fucked him. It’s not even close to the same thing.”

“I’m not sure where you’re going with this, but you’re not helping me feel any better.”

“That’s good. I’m not trying to.”

“Then what exactly are you trying to do, besides piss me off?”

“I’m trying to get you to wake up, dammit! You’re making yourself and me miserable. I want you to see what you walked out on, Autumn.” She continued hitting the arrow key on her laptop, scrolling through a plethora of Google images. “I mean look at this guy.” She spun the screen around so Autumn could see the enhanced image of Balen surfing a wave towering above him. “If he didn’t care about you, he wouldn’t have tried to call you day after day. I listened to the messages.”

“You what? Summer, why would you do that?”

“Because I’m worried about you, Autumn. And for the first time since kindergarten, you’re not talking to me. You came back from vacation worse off than when you left and I feel responsible because I sent you there. I wasn’t trying to betray your privacy, but since when do we keep things from each other? I want to help you, but how can I when I don’t know what happened?”

“And so you went behind my back to get the answers.” This wasn’t the first time Summer had crossed the line, doing something suspect in the name of friendship. But this…hacking her phone and listening to her messages—messages she hadn’t even heard yet because she couldn’t bring herself to listen to the sound of Balen’s voice—felt like one more betrayal she just couldn’t handle.

“Get out.”

“What?”

The shock and hurt in her friend’s eyes almost made her feel guilty. “You heard me. I want to be alone right now.” And because if you don’t leave this room, I’m going to say something we’re both going to regret.

Summer climbed off the bed and headed for the door. She stopped in the hallway and turned back toward Autumn, that spark of fiery determination flashing in her friend’s eyes told Autumn this discussion was far from over. “You know what? You might not want to hear this, but I’m going to say it anyway. Alex messed you up—bad. He made you question yourself, so much that you can’t accept the possibility that someone like Balen Kroft could fall in love with you. And it’s so sad because you’re the most amazing woman I know. I can see it, and so does he, so why can’t you? I think you’re running away from him because pushing Balen away is easier than taking a chance on him. You’re so scared of being walked out on again that you’re doing the walking this time. You’re afraid of getting hurt, and that’s understandable, but you’ve got to take a chance on someone sometime or you’re going to spend the rest of your life alone.

“I agree, Balen should have told you who he was right from the beginning. It was a dick move—no question. But have you stopped to consider that maybe he had a good reason for it? Have you thought about what it must be like being him? I mean, look at the guy. I bet women use him all the time. That’s gotta get old, right? Maybe he wasn’t lying to you as much as he was protecting himself.”

Well, when she put it like that…

“I think you’re head over heels for this guy and it scares the shit out of you. You’re latching onto any reason to break it off because given the option of breaking his heart or him breaking yours, you’re taking the safe way out. Don’t be a coward, Autumn. Fight for the man you love. I know how big of a deal honesty and trust are to you. And he made some mistakes, but if you throw away what you two have, you’re going to regret it. Maybe not today, or tomorrow, but I know you, Autumn. You’re going to lose him and you’re going to have no one to blame but yourself.”

And then she was gone, Summer’s steps echoing down the hall and through the living room. A moment later the front door slammed. She’d gotten her wish. Autumn was truly alone. Only now she wished her friend was here to talk to because her words had planted a seed of doubt deep in her gut. Was Summer right? Was she sabotaging her own happiness out of fear of getting hurt again?

Autumn’s gaze fell to the laptop Summer had left on the bed. A glutton for punishment, she clicked the down arrow and the next picture popped up. It was a candid shot of Balen jogging up the beach. His surfboard was tucked beneath his arm, putting those sculpted biceps on display. It was hard not to remember the way they felt wrapped around her. He was smiling, but not at the camera. That dimple flashing grin was aimed at someone beyond the lens’ reach. He looked happy—carefree. He looked…in love.

Lucky woman... God, why was she doing this to herself? A stab of jealousy pierced Autumn’s heart as she imagined the wave runner he’d gifted with that grin. That, right there… That was the real Balen Kroft—famous, successful, womanizing…

Hey, wait a minute! Those board shorts looked familiar. Autumn studied the picture a little closer. And that villa in the background… She enhanced the picture until the date in the bottom right corner of the picture slowly became legible and her burning jealousy turned to shame. Her vision blurred as tears flooded her eyes and began spilling down her cheeks.

He was smiling at me.

* * *

A good cry and a long hot shower did nothing to ease Autumn’s foul mood. Confusion mired the self-righteous anger she’d clung to since discovering Balen had lied to her. And damn Summer for adding her two cents when the last thing Autumn wanted to hear was that she might in part be to blame for her own misery. What kind of a best friend tells someone that? Didn’t she understand how devastating it was to be lied to? That trust once broken couldn’t be easily repaired? Not easily, but not impossible… the unsolicited voice inside her head spoke up. But Autumn wasn’t ready to listen. She was tired of trusting, fed up with putting herself out there only to get hurt over and over again.

As she crossed her room, she dropped the wet towel in the laundry basket and changed into a tank top and yoga pants. Grabbing her brush from the dresser, Autumn sat on the edge of the bed and tackled the mess of tangles that had become her hair. She was nearly finished with the project when her cell buzzed on the nightstand. Tempted to ignore it, she reached for the phone and opened the message.

I know you probably don’t want to hear from me right now. But I thought you should see this…

Autumn clicked on the attachment Summer sent her and was surprised to see a YouTube video pop up. Then she read the title and her heart dropped into her stomach. Just when she thought Balen couldn’t break her heart any more. Balen Kroft Bears It All.

Oh my God. Summer found his sex tape.

She wasn’t sure what prompted her to press that link. Why do people stop and stare at accidents? Morbid curiosity? Or maybe she needed to prove to herself that she’d done the right thing by ending it with Balen. Maybe then she could stop tormenting herself with doubts her supposed best friend had planted in her mind. Even though it was going to hurt like hell, she needed to see the real Balen and perhaps then her heart would forget the illusion.

As the video came up, the background noise came through like static, then the blurry picture sharpened focus. At the sight of Balen, her heart clenched and her breath stalled in her lungs. It took her a moment to realize what she was seeing, where he was—the airport. Balen was caught in the security line at the airport. People were starting to gather around him, but his attention was fixed past the terminals. The video panned that direction and she caught a glimpse of herself rushing toward the gate.

“Autumn!”

Oh my God.

The urgency in his voice made her heart lurch inside her chest. Balen had been there. He’d come back for her. As she sat there watching the scene unfold, Autumn’s hand numbly moved up to cover her mouth.

“Ticket and identification, please.” The security guard held out his hand, expecting Balen to produce the necessary forms.

“I don’t have one.” His movements were jerky—rushed—as he began pulling off his shoes and tossing them into the container on the conveyer belt. “I need through to talk to the woman who’s about to board that plane.” Balen nodded in the direction she’d gone. His hands dropped to his waist and he began unfastening his belt then ripped it through the loops with one hard pull. After tossing his keys and cell into a bin, he darted past the officer.

“Autumn!” he yelled again, but his shout was drowned out by the overhead announcement for additional security.

“Excuse me, I need through.” He pushed past passengers waiting in line to enter the metal detector. “Autumn, wait!” Balen entered the large, open-sided cylinder and the thing went off. “Stop that redhead!” he yelled to one of the approaching officers while he pulled off his shirt and tossed it behind him. The thing was still alarming and Autumn watched in utter shock as Balen began stripping off his jeans then kicked them away from the cylinder tube. The beeping stopped and he exited the metal detector wearing nothing but a pair of form-fitting boxer briefs.

Holy shit.

“Listen,” Balen told the officers as he approached, hands in the air like he was under arrest. “It’s obvious I don’t have any weapons on me. I just need to get through. The woman I love is about to get on a plane and if I don’t tell her how I feel, I’m going to lose her. Please let me talk to her.”

At hearing his confession, a muffled sob broke free from her throat. It didn’t look like the officers were going to budge, but then another one arrived and told the two blocking Balen’s path to let him through. They stepped aside and Balen took off running down the terminal and that’s when the video cut out, but she knew how the story ended. A fresh wave of tears sprung to her eyes. The emotions waging a storm inside her were a culmination of hope, fear, and regret.

Her cell buzzed in her hand and another text from Summer came up.

FYI Balen’s on his way there. I may or may not have answered one of your messages from him. P.S. I love you.

A moment of panic struck her. Balen was coming here? Right now? Autumn wasn’t sure if she wanted to kiss Summer or kill her. Her emotions were all over the place, especially after seeing that video. She wasn’t ready to face him yet. Maybe that made her a coward, but she needed time to digest this new information—to wrap her mind around something she wouldn’t have believed if she hadn’t seen and heard it herself. Balen loved her.