The monochromatic colors of the house flowed through every room including my bedroom. Upon entering the double French doors, a pillowy tan couch sat with a glass coffee table in front of it. A distressed wooden desk flanked the back of the couch, and on the wall in front, hung a flat screen television. A plush cream-colored area rug covered the black stained wood floors.
Past the sitting area, a king-size bed covered with fluffy cream-colored bedding and on the either side of the bed stood two large glass side tables with modern lamps. A gas fireplace on the opposite wall added to the coziness of the room.
There was a door in the far corner of the room. I expected to see a closet when I opened it, but instead, when I peeked in I saw a bedroom for a nine-year-old princess, all pink and white with beautifully decorated walls and furnishing. I closed the door deciding that Erin should be the one to show me around her room.
Past the bed, a small foyer opened to an extravagant bathroom on one side and the other a closet bigger than any apartment I ever lived. Unfortunately, my clothes will barely fill the space. In one section of the closet formal dresses in clear garment bags hung on padded hangers, I assumed the ex- Mrs. Westlake left them behind. My curiosity got the better of me, and I peeked through the dresses. Sexy yet tasteful and oh holy shit expensive! The tags hung from each dress, and one was more expensive than the next.
I had only four suitcases to unpack, two large duffle bags, a small carrier case with my toiletries and two large boxes that carried my shoes. Unpacked and organized in two hours, I had the rest of the afternoon and two whole days to do with as I pleased since Erin would not be arriving until Sunday night.
The schedule was as followed: Every other Sunday night Erin’s driver would drop her off at eight in the evening. Erin would stay for the week and at seven in the evening the following Sunday the driver would pick her up to bring her back to her mother’s house which was an hour away. I could communicate through email only with Erin’s other nanny, Pam.
It seemed like a sad way to exist but who was I to judge. I never married and had no children so I could not say how I would react in a divorce.
I left my room and walked around the rest of the house. The few rooms I saw, so far, were larger than most people’s entire homes and every room organized; nothing seemed out of place, not a speck of dust or disorder. I bet the kitchen didn’t even have a junk drawer. This house looked like there was a place for everything and nothing could ever be out of place. Something I would adjust to.
Mrs. Ross said she came every week on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday around noon. She stayed for a few hours so if I needed anything I should let her know when she was here. Mr. Westlake permitted communication through text messages unless it became excessive. Being self–sufficient meant I would limit reaching out to her or Mr. Westlake. The only time I could see myself contacting them would be in an emergency.
The graphite marble countertops in the kitchen along with the charcoal colored cabinets matched the main living area of the house. The cabinets ran floor to ceiling, and a large island anchored the room. There was no toaster on the counter and built into the wall was a coffee/espresso maker and a microwave. The refrigerator and freezer spanned one wall and the island housed the kitchen sink with the dishwasher on one side and on the other a built-in cubby where wines glasses hung from a rack.
The pre-interview application comprised questions regarding my food choices. I ate healthy except for my obsession with any chip made of corn. I opened the cabinets to find some of my favorite snacks: Tostitos, salsa, Fritos, and Sun Chips. Then I peeked through the fridge where I found it stocked with every fruit and vegetable in season and the freezer had wrapped chicken breasts, hamburger meat, and fish. Mr. Westlake expected me to cook for Erin. It stated in the contract that her meals must be homemade and that she had mature taste buds, whatever that meant.
I continued to walk around the house through all the rooms. The expansive rooms were modern in decor but had a cozy feel to them. Everything had a place, a thoughtful place. Just no color; everything was tan, gray, black or white or varying shades of those colors. The textiles looked expensive and tailored with each room professionally executed. I'm sure Mr. Westlake hired a decorator to put each room together.
Once again upstairs, I opened the many doors, sticking my head in to get a quick look. Yesterday when Mr. Ross gave me the tour, I suspected the door at the end of the long hallway to be Mr. Westlake’s bedroom. I crept towards it, unsure why I felt afraid. I was alone and expected no one to walk in. I only intended on peeking in, not snooping.
I reached for the door handle as if any moment someone would sneak up behind me and ask me what I was doing. With my fingers wrapped around the cold-brushed nickel, I turned it, and it made a click sound, and the door opened. I peered in.
The masculine bedroom awakened my body, my nose inhaled spice, cedar, bergamot and leather notes, and the energy in the room made you feel as if someone was just there. His bed covered with a silk charcoal gray bedspread and matching pillows looked enticing. While staring at his bed, a deep ache simmered in my belly. I wanted to inhale the intoxicating scent left on this strangers pillows, but instead, I turned around and shut the door behind me. I should not have felt aroused, but the scent overwhelmed me.
Something felt odd about the house. As I walked around it became more evident, what bothered me. No pictures, no artwork hung on the walls, only mirrors. I expected to see pictures of his daughter, at the least. I did not expect to see any of him. Even knowing the man exists; I still felt he was an enigma.
Enigma or not, I hoped he was not a pervert since it was likely I’d be alone in the house with him much of the time. The situation awkward enough would be worse if he were gross. The thought of living in a stranger’s home was uncomfortable then I imagined him as some skanky, pervert and my stomach twisted.
How would I handle that? Either way, I’d have to deal with it. I had my room with a lock, so if I felt uncomfortable, I could retreat to my space.
It was too beautiful a summer day to stay hauled up in this massive home, so I lounged by the pool. The backyard’s magnificent grounds overshadowed the front of the house and the kidney-shaped pool looked like something you'd find at a resort. The water reminded me of a black sparkling smooth stone, dark enough to hide the bottom of the pool.
I changed into my bikini, grabbed my iPad and a towel, and headed out back. I spread out my towel and made myself comfortable on the teak wood lounge chair. I tapped the screen and surfed the Internet. It took no time at all for the sun to lull me into sleep.
I awoke when a chill passed over my skin. I opened my eyes expecting to see a cloud blocking out the warmth of the sun. Instead, a handsome man with very distinguished features and impressive height balancing out his broad shoulders stood over me.
I scrambled to my feet. I did not want to speak; I just stared at him and waited for him to say something. He said nothing but perused my body up and down, and that was when I remembered I was half naked in my bikini.
“Natalie.” He continued to let his eyes drift over my body from head to toe until he stopped at my eyes.
“Yes, I’m Natalie Hill.” I stuttered, as I stared into the depths of his dark green eyes. “I’m sorry if this isn’t allowed, sitting by the pool, sleeping but I’m prepared for Erin when she arrives on Sunday.” I babbled. His good looks were unexpected. I worried so much about how ugly and gross he may be that I never considered he’d be hot.
“This is fine. I want you to feel at home here since this will be your home for the next two years, more if you prove yourself.” Mr. Westlake paused. “Do you think you are good at what you do, Natalie?”
I knew he referred to my role as his daughter’s teacher, but his question felt layered. The smoothness of his deep voice as he said my name sent chills over my skin. His voice was steady when he spoke, no hint of acceptance or disappointment, he sounded indifferent, as Mrs. Ross described him. “I will do my best to teach your daughter all she needs to learn to become an educated young girl and later a woman.” I sounded rehearsed. My first encounter with my new employer and I sound like a fool and… I was more than half naked.
“I see. Now, please continue to do whatever it was you were doing. Erin will be here Sunday night.” And with that, he walked away.
“Sir, and you?” I don’t know why that came out that way, or why I even called out to him, but I did, and I could not call it back.
He diverted his attention back to me. “You need not worry about me. I come and go as I please. Though, I will be here the rest of the day if you have questions.” He paused then said my name. “Natalie.” And back into the house, he went.
Not a pervert, at all, Mr. Westlake was hot, the most beautiful man I've ever seen, tall and muscular, sinewy, but not bulky. His eyes green, deep green like staring into the deepest most beautiful lake. His hair, the color of ink, had a slight wave to it. He wore it longer than one would expect. He reminded me of a quiet night, pitch black with only the full moon illuminating the earth. Everything about him made my blood pump through my veins. Involuntary. Natural. Unavoidable.
I could not go back to sleep; I could not read, I couldn’t sit still. I sat on the edge of my lounge chair. On the outside, I acted calm, but on the inside, my body pulsed.
I looked around the backyard then scanned the back of the house. On the second floor, there was a row of five small windows. I saw movement, and then he came into view. He stood staring down at me holding my attention. He had a glass in his hand and brought it up to his lips.
I licked mine. I became thirsty for something, anything. That I caught him staring at me didn’t seem to bother him. However, it left me untethered.
He continued to do as he pleased: staring, glass to lips, staring more. Because of the size of the windows, I could only see part of his upper body. His one hand held the glass, the other hidden from view. The intensity of his stare prompted me to move. I positioned myself back on the lounge chair.
On my back with my legs bent at my knees and my arms stretched over my head, I stared back at him. I let my legs fall slightly open and watched as he placed his glass down somewhere off to the side of him. The hand that held the glass now rested on the window frame, his other hand still hidden from me. His body stilled and stiffened but his face spoke volumes. He braced himself against the window frame while his eyes stayed fixated on me. His head dropped to his chest as his lips pursed to exhale. He stared down still bracing himself on the window frame except now his other hand did the same. He lifted his head, glanced at me then walked away.
I had to do something, anything, I had to move, my body felt charged. I felt an instant attraction to him. A spark ran through my body, and the need to pace, to do something, anything, so I dived into the pool.
I lost count of how many laps I swam, but I made sure my body felt exhausted. The water sluiced off my skin as I padded to the chair to retrieve my towel. I scanned the back of the house as I toweled off, but he was not there. I clicked on my iPad to check the time, it was just about time for dinner, and so I headed inside to cook. I’d make enough in case he ate with me.
An hour later, the smells from the kitchen must have awoken the beast because Mr. Westlake made his way downstairs. There was no greeting as he walked into the kitchen, but he surveyed the food laid out on the island. I stopped as I watched him staring. I still wore my bikini, but I covered it with a gauzy white tunic. He watched me for a second, yet he still said nothing and seemed comfortable with the silence.
I was not. I needed to fill the silence but didn't know what to say. I glanced at him then continued to prepare the meal. He walked away and came back a few minutes later with a bottle of wine.
“Are you hungry?” I asked as I plated the food despite what his answer would be.
“Yes, would you like wine with dinner?” He reached for two glasses that hung in the cubby beneath the island next to the sink.
“Yes, please,” I answered as I walked the two plates to the table.
He sat opposite me, uncorked the wine, and poured us both a glass. He lifted his glass, and I followed. “Welcome.” No emotion emanated behind the word. I contemplated what kind of father he must be. Cold, unemotional, hands- off were the words that came to mind. Poor Erin.
We clinked glasses and ate without hesitation, making no conversation and no eye contact. I looked at him under hooded eyes watching him handle the silverware. His hands were muscular, his fingers long, and his nails clean and buffed. As he poured our second glass, I loosened up and felt brazen enough to ask him some questions.
“So may I ask what your intentions are for me?” That came out all wrong. “I mean your expectations.” Considering the moment and how I felt, either word was appropriate.
He knew it. He swallowed hard and hesitated before he answered. “My intentions for you are unknown at this moment, but the contract clearly states my expectations. I want you to pass your knowledge on to my daughter. You are educated, speak many languages, and are the kind of woman I would like my daughter to become.”
“Thank you, Mr. Westlake, I appreciate you saying that.” I could barely speak after his first admission. He might have intentions for me. What did he mean?
“Noah. Call me Noah. Or sir, I liked hearing you call me sir.” His suggestive tone swirled around me until it settled right between my legs.
“Noah, I received an email from Erin’s other nanny. She updated me on Erin’s present curriculum.”
“Yes, I spoke to Pam yesterday, she said she sent that information over.”
“You talk to her?” I thought emails were the only permissible way to communicate.
“Yes, Natalie, I hired her, I talk to her whenever I need to.”
“Mrs. Westlake didn’t hire her?”
“There is no Mrs. Westlake.” He barked at me.
“I’m sorry. Mrs. Ross explained I’m sorry. I meant Erin’s mother.”
“I don’t see why this matters.”
I swallowed my piece of seared tuna and thought I would choke. “You’re right. I’m prying. I apologize. It’s none of my business.”
“No. I’m sorry. Don’t feel uncomfortable. It’s normal to want to understand.” He rested his hand on my arm as he continued to speak. “You need not concern yourself with the other house. Just know I am available for you if you need anything.”
His skin touching mine, the sudden turn in the mood, along with the tone of his voice as he spoke had my head spinning. There was nothing indifferent about him at this moment. He felt warm and caring.
And then I did the unthinkable. I rested my hand on top of his and offered him the same reassurance. “And I am here for you and your daughter.”
Noah looked at our hands, but he didn’t move. I gave his hand a squeeze attempting to lighten things up, but as he stared into my eyes, things grew deeper and darker every second. Like I just touched a hot pan I drew my hand back, but he caught it and held onto it.
“Thank you, Natalie.”
“You're welcome, Noah,” I said as I slid my hand from his grip.
Noah spoke no further. We finished our meal in comfortable silence, and when Noah finished, he stood up, took our plates, rinsed them, and placed them in the dishwasher. I cleaned up everything else while he filled his wine glass and disappeared into a room off to the kitchen.
I remember the room from earlier in the day. It looked like a family room but on a grander scale and decorated with a more relaxed feel. The room had a flat screen television, large comfortable couches, a rustic coffee table and a large stone fireplace. On the back wall stood built in shelves lined with books.
I finished in the kitchen and walked towards the room he occupied. He looked up at me as I entered. “Mr… Um, Noah, is there anything else you need?”
His elbow rested on the arm of the couch, and as he stared back at me, he rubbed the side of his index finger along his lips. He spoke no words, just shook his head no.
My breath hitched then one letter slipped from my mouth, “K,” so much for my fancy education. I disappeared to my room.
I sat in the bath water for over an hour, trying to read, but it seemed impossible to concentrate. All I could do was think of him. His austerity unnerved me, yet there was something else about him I couldn’t place. The control he had over his body when he moved, the flat tone of his voice that gave nothing away. He controlled his every emotion, yet, he brought out a carnal need in me, and my emotions took over any reasonable thought.
I moved my hand under the water and reached my fingers between my legs. Thinking of his hands covering every part of me, I separated my lips and circled my clit. My knees fell open resting on opposite sides of the tub, and with my other hand, I palmed my breast imagining his mouth sucking my nipples. It took no time at all for my orgasm to take over my body. The flush of heat and the intense need I felt low in my belly subsided with the intensity of my release. Milking and pumping, I sank lower into the water as my body went numb.
After the bath, I read in bed. I tried to keep my eyes open, but it became impossible with every sentence. Within minutes, I fell asleep.
I woke, disoriented. My brain came through the fog of sleep, and I remembered my new life. I sat up in bed and stretched. I tapped on my iPad to see the time, 3:25 in the morning. My throat felt dry. I craved a big glass of cold water.
I opened my bedroom door. I had not bothered with a robe. There was no reason for him to be awake and my boy shorts and tank covered more than my bikini from earlier today. I crept across the upstairs hallway and down the stairs towards the kitchen. The warm glow of security lights throughout the house made it easy to move around without turning on additional lighting.
I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of spring water from the fridge. Instead of going back upstairs, I checked out the room where he retired to after dinner. The room was mostly dark, so it took my eyes a minute to register what they saw.
Mr. Westlake, Noah, sat in one of the oversized chairs. He stared at me and said nothing. He fisted his erection and slowly pumped it. He didn’t falter in the slightest at the sight of me.
I should have left, but I could not look away. His crisp white shirt was unbuttoned revealing smooth tan skin stretched over muscle. A small patch of silky chest hair lay flat on his skin and another narrow strip of hair extended down his stomach while the tip of his thick cock reached just above his belly button. He stared at me while his large hand moved up and down his erection.
His eyes wandered over my body while his fist moved faster on his shaft. He hand-fucked his cock while I watched. I could see him at his breaking point, and in that second his eyes stopped on mine and stayed there while thick ribbons of cum shot out all over his stomach. He tipped his head back on the chair and closed his eyes, and I took that moment to escape to my room.
I shut the door behind me and took in a sharp inhale and released it. What did I just do? My first day and night in this house and I watched my boss jerk off.
He didn’t stop and then he came all over his stomach while staring me straight in the eyes. He could have stopped or yelled at me to stay out of the room instead he seemed to take more pleasure because I stood there watching him.
I paced around the room deciding how to handle this. Should I act as if nothing happened? Should I apologize for invading his privacy? Would he be a gentleman and act as if nothing happened? I would have to wait until tomorrow no matter what. I will let him decide how we move forward from this and I will say nothing.
I lay down and tried to sleep, but my body felt restless. An aching, throbbing need moved through me. Again, my fingers moved over the sweet spot between my legs, and I came faster and more intense than I ever had before.
I woke up early to work out. I still felt such pent up energy coursing through my body, and I knew there were only two things to release that kind of energy: a large cock inside of me or a long run. My only option: a long run.
I shoved my ear buds in, grabbed a bottle of spring water, and headed downstairs to the gym. The gym was a like no other work out space I had ever seen. My eyes narrowed in on the four treadmills lined up facing a large movie screen. I assumed it was to watch movies, or it showed virtual outdoor scenes. I would not mess around with it. My iPod would do. Needing to drown out all thoughts and sounds around me, I turned up the music way too loud.
I started at a walkers pace then picked up speed. I needed to sweat this sexual frustration out of me, and I did exactly that. Six miles later I felt sated. I slowed the pace on the treadmill and walked out the final two minutes. When I finished, I took a long draw from my bottle of water then stepped off the treadmill and almost fell backward when I saw Noah.
He sat on the worn leather couch in the middle of the room. He wore no shirt and only basketball shorts. The elastic waistband rested just above his cock revealing a trail of silky hair leading up to his belly button. His legs dropped opened. He held a hand towel in his left hand.
I tried to act casual. The need to laugh came over me but I suppressed it because my gut told me Noah was not a man that laughed, ever, but I found it to be so funny. Noah and I were acting like sex- starved teenagers.
“Good Morning.” I felt naked in my yoga shorts and my sports bra. The sweat dripping off my body and the heat of my skin distilling every frustrated pheromone into the surrounding air heightened the sexual tension between us.
“Good Morning.” His voice was low and rough, and he looked at my body as if he was thirsty and wanted to lick every drop of sweat from my skin.
I needed to clear the air right away. I could not stand it if I didn’t. “I’m sorry about last night."
“I’m not.” His eyes moved over my skin.
“You’re not.” I scrunched my eyebrows together.
“You caught me jerking off. Don’t you masturbate?” His voice remained steady.
Not that he said it but the way he said it. It made me feel like he knew when and where and how I have myself.
“That isn't my point. I’m sorry I watched you.”
“Don’t apologize, you being there added to my experience.” He tossed the towel on to the table in front of him.
“Noah, did…”
“Natalie.” He cut me off just to say my name.
“Noah, did we cross a line of inappropriateness?”
“I don’t feel inappropriate. Do you?” In a long firm sweep, he wiped his right hand on his shorts.
“I suppose not.” I didn’t know what I felt. Well, scratch that, I knew I felt frustrated, again. I needed to end this conversation before I could not control my impulse to jump on his lap and straddle him. “I need to shower. Enjoy your workout.”
“I hadn’t planned on working out.” He said.
“Then why are you down here?” I asked.
“I watched you.” He admitted.
I couldn’t be sure but considering his remark, the calm look on his face, and from everything I noticed, I think he jerked off while I ran. I could not get away from him fast enough. Noah had my entire body strung out. Nothing would suppress this ache except a long hard fuck. I showered and had myself again. I worried about him being a pervert, but I was the one becoming the pervert. I masturbated three times in twenty- four hours… but then again, so did he.
Noah disappeared the rest of the day. Mrs. Ross stopped by to go through the mail and to check on me. She spent about three hours in the house, and I relished the company. The cleaning service was there for most of the day, another welcomed distraction. The house looked immaculate before they began so it was as if they attempted to make clean even cleaner. As long as I didn’t have to do it, I didn’t care.
By five o’clock, the others vacated the house, and I was alone, again. Earlier in the day, I tried to broach the subject of Noah’s whereabouts, but Mrs. Ross didn't know.
I opened a bottle of wine from the fridge. Mr. Westlake made it clear I could help myself to anything in the house. I brought the bottle and glass outside and sat by the pool enjoying the cool summer evening. After about two hours past, I called it a night. I made it through the quick brush of my teeth and slipped into bed.
Awoken from a deep sleep by the sound of a woman laughing I sat up in my bed. Did I dream her laugh or was someone in the house?
I moved from my bed and walked towards my bedroom’s door. I leaned in listening for voices. I heard a female’s voice, but I could not make sense of what she said. Her voice didn’t sound like it was upstairs but it sounded just at the bottom of the staircase. I listened to the conversation go from words to nothing but her moaning.
I opened the door only slightly and peered out into the hallway. There were no lights on upstairs, but a soft glow came from the room just below the staircase opposite the room I call the office only because a desk inhabited the space.
The lit up room had no significant purpose. A leather sectional couch and two chairs facing the couch with an industrial-looking coffee table between them made up the sitting area. Again, the room mirrored the office with one exception, instead of a desk, a shiny black baby grand piano sat caddy corner near the front window.
I stepped into the hallway listening to the moans coming from the female visitor. Noah must have brought a date home. I tiptoed down the stairs. At the bottom, I padded across the marble floor and peeked around the column. My eyes could not look away. A mostly dressed Noah pounded into a naked woman sitting on the couch.
The woman was of no significance. She slumped into the sofa, her legs up in the air so they were all I could see along with the back of her head.
However, I could see all of Noah. He stood with one leg kneeling on the couch, his hands gripping the back of it on either side of her head while pounding into her. His partially opened shirt revealed most of his chest and his sinewy muscles moved under his skin with each heavy thrust. His eyebrows knit together as his jaw tightened. He stared straight ahead not looking once at his victim. She seemed like nothing more than an object for him to use.
I stared at his eyes. He was not looking in my direction, yet it felt like he was staring right at me, like the night before when I watched him hand fuck himself. He had the same look in his eyes as if I became part of his fantasy. What was he seeing?
I followed his stare turning to look over my shoulder, and there I was. The large mirror hanging in the foyer reflected my image giving him the perfect view of me watching him fuck the life out of his prey.
I didn’t run.
I leaned my back against the column facing the mirror. I waited and watched until he came hard inside of her. His eyes never left mine. He didn’t look down at her or make her feel like she was special to him or the moment was special to him. The only contact was his cock inside of her, his balls slapping against her skin and nothing more. It felt harsh but not for me. It was as if every hard, angry thrust was for me.
After he had come, he pulled out of her, stood up, stripped the condom from his cock, buttoned his pants and walked away. I returned to my room, slipped back into by bed, and touched myself. My orgasm came just as the front door slammed then I heard the sound of footsteps in the hallway outside my room. I braced myself as I waited for his footsteps to continue past my door. His bedroom door closed and I exhaled.
What was wrong with me? Why can’t the man masturbate and fuck in his house without me staring at him? I can’t imagine this going over well. What an interesting conversation this will be? I can hear it now, “So Miss Hill, you are voyeuristic, and I happen to be your subject of choice. Or do you like to watch all your employers fucking?”
I had no defense. I needed to watch. I wanted to feel what I was looking at. I needed to feel what it felt like for Noah to touch me and be inside me. Not how he fucked that woman but the way he looked at me when he did it. She was a hole, nothing more. Mine the face he was fucking, the fantasy that made him come. Right then I knew I needed to be with him. I needed him filling me suppressing my ache for him.
The next morning was Saturday. I woke feeling hungry but not for food. I went down to the gym and added another four miles to my week. After my run, I showered and went down for breakfast. There was no sign of him, yet.
In the two days living here, I knew Noah Westlake moved through his house quietly. Even last night when he brought home his fuck, her voice was all I heard. His clandestine existence added to his appeal. What was his secret? What was he thinking? He gave away so little but made you crave more.
Was he even home, now? Had he left before I woke? He could be near with maybe only a wall between us, and I would not know unless I searched for him.
I refused to search him out. Not after last night.
I stood at the sink cleaning up my breakfast dishes and startled when he came up behind me, not close enough to touch me, but close enough to feel the heat come off his body. I whipped around. “Good Morning, Noah.”
“Good Morning, Natalie.” He handed me a dishtowel to dry my hands.
“Sit, we need to talk.”
Here it was, the conversation I dreaded. I wish we could pretend none of it happened.
I walked to the table where he pulled out a chair then he sat perpendicular to me. His beautiful masculine hands joined resting on the table. I mimicked his posture until I realized how close our hands were then I dropped mine to my lap.
“I’m leaving in an hour and will be back when my daughter arrives tomorrow night. I just want to make sure you feel comfortable meeting her on your own since my flight doesn’t get in until seven. I will be home shortly after she gets here but she will be here promptly at eight.”
Oh, this was the conversation we were having. Okay, I can do this. “Yes, I feel very comfortable meeting her without you present. Is there anything I should know about her? I know so little.”
His expression changed, it softened, and his body relaxed as soon as he spoke. “Erin is nine years old going on thirty. She is a curious and smart young girl, and I encourage that in her. You two will like each other. You will have no problem getting along. She will want to be all in your business, and she is girlie as I see so are you. She’ll want to talk about clothes, and scented creams, and nail polish, all that stuff you girls talk about, and shoes, can’t forget shoes.”
A smile stretched across my face. She sounded wonderful. I feared she might be like him: mercurial, intense, shut down. Thank goodness, she sounds like an average nine-year-old girl and not some weird introvert.
“So is there anything else you need from me before I leave?” His question loaded, as I knew he intended it to be.
Could you fill me with that massive erection of yours and make me come until I am drooling? “No, I think I’ll be able to take care of myself while you’re gone.” A loaded answer and he knew it.
His eyes searched my face, stopped a moment at my lips, took a quick glance at my chest, and followed the same line back to my face. “I’m sure you can.”
He stood from the table and walked out of the kitchen.
“Noah.”
He turned around when I called out to him. “Yes, Natalie.”
“I’m sorry.” I didn’t bother explaining myself since I was pretty sure Noah knew why I was apologizing.
He stared at me as he rubbed the edge of his index finger along his lower lip. “I’m not.” Then he turned and left.
Two days with no possibility of watching my boss ejaculating one way or another…what is a girl to do? I found it odd he wasn’t offended by my voyeurism. Here I worried that he’d be a pervert, yet, I’m the pervert. I could have walked away, but I chose not to. I enjoyed watching Noah get pleasure, take pleasure, and give himself pleasure. Whichever way it happened, I enjoyed watching him. He had my body feeling strung out. My lady parts were throbbing. The need I felt to have him inside me was unbearable.
I sat at the kitchen table staring at my laptop waiting for him to leave. I expected at the least a quick goodbye, but no, all I got was the sound of the door closing, and he left.
I thought I would feel lonely wandering this big house for two days by myself, but instead, I felt comforted being here. I could not stop thinking about Noah and living in his home made me feel closer to him. I left for two hours on Saturday to get a manicure and pedicure, and the rest of the afternoon I spent by the pool.
Sunday I slept in, something I never do, and I finally woke at lunchtime. I worked out; this time incorporating weights into my workout, showered when finished I spent the rest of the day reading.
It was now seven forty-five and Erin would arrive promptly at eight. One of the many weird things about this custody arrangement seemed to be the strict structure both parties followed.
I sat in the front room a few seconds before eight o’clock, and not a second past the hour; headlights pulled up the long drive. I opened the front door ready to greet Ms. Erin Westlake.
A very pretty well dressed little girl stepped out of a black limo. She didn’t even wait for the driver to get her door. She came running towards me with such enthusiasm that my heart instantly fell in love.
Her hair was a golden honey color, and her eyes were her fathers, a rich emerald green. She stopped in front of me, looked me up and down, and then asked if she could hug me.
“I need a hug.” I stretched out my arms and bent at my knees ready to take this little girl in a big embrace.
She jumped at me and wrapped her arms around my neck. When she finally released me she looked at my face and with her small hand, she rubbed my cheek.
“Your name is Natalie. I’m Erin. Daddy was right; you are pretty!” She declared.
I can’t believe Noah told his daughter I was pretty. “Thank you; you are too. And it’s nice to meet you, Erin.”
“I like your lip gloss. Can I try it someday?” She asked in a sweet little girl voice.
“Yes, you can use my lip gloss. I like sharing.”
“But I won’t fit in your clothes. I don’t have boobies yet.” She pointed at my boobies. “You have bigger boobies than my mom.”
I laughed. “But I have a lot of other stuff we can share like lip gloss and vanilla scented lotion.”
“I like your nail polish. Daddy says I’m allowed to wear nail polish.” She smoothed her finger over my nail.
“Then you and I can go together to have our nails done.” I reached for her long silky hair. “I like your hair.”
“We can play with each other’s hair. I like to curl mine. And since we both have long hair, we can curl each other’s hair.” She looked over my shoulder. “Daddy texted me he was on his way. I made him something I want to surprise him.”
She ran upstairs with her backpack in her hand. “Follow me!”
I followed behind her until we got to his bedroom. Erin swung open the door, and I felt envious of how easily she moved in his space. I looked around, and on the wall, I couldn’t see when I peeked in my first day here, stood a built in bookshelf. Instead of being filled with books, dozens of framed pictures of Noah and Erin filled the space.
While I took in his entire room, Erin ran next to her father’s bed and dropped her backpack on the floor. She unzipped the pink bag and searched out a card made of construction paper and placed it on his pillow. I stared at the front of the card and felt a jolt of sadness. It read I love you Daddy and there was a beautiful rainbow with a heart under the words.
“That’s beautiful. He will love it.” I was not sure how this man would react to his daughter. He seemed so stern and rigid.
“He always loves them. Open that door there.” Erin pointed to the frosted glass door behind me.
“I shouldn’t, Erin, this is your daddy’s private room.”
“He won’t care.” She ran passed me and opened the door herself. “Look.”
I stepped passed the little girl into his world. A closet created by a perfectionist. Every suit hung color coordinated with perfect spacing between them, one section filled with clean, crisp white shirts, one with stripe shirts, another with varying shades of blue and lavender shirts, and another with varying shades of gray, charcoal and black ones. There were ties in drawers with glass tops and every polished pair of shoes in their proper place.
“Look!” Erin pointed to the red yarn that hung haphazardly around the closet.
Dozens of handmade cards hung pinned to the yarn. Each card reading the same sentiment, I love you, Daddy, with a different picture for every card, some of the cards decorated with flowers, some cherries, a puppy dog, and cat, one even had a banana.
“Daddy always laughs at my pictures. He says he loves that he never knows what drawing I will surprise him with next.”
My heart ached a little. This little girl described a man I have yet to meet. Just then, the front door shut and Erin went running out of her father’s bedroom and down the stairs. I followed behind her and watched from the top of the staircase as Erin flew into her father’s open arms right as he dropped his bag down. “Oh, my sweet pea I missed you so much.”
“I missed you too, daddy.”
Noah still embracing his daughter looked up at me and gave me the smallest of smiles. I let my smile stretch across my face and gave him a little wink. To see the affection he had for his daughter shocked me.
“Daddy, Natalie will take me to get my nails polished.”
“I’m glad to hear it, but you just got here, can’t it wait.”
“Daddyee, you know what I mean. Not now, another day. Silly. Right, Natalie, daddy’s silly.” Erin rested her small hands on Noah’s face, and then she gave him a big kiss on the tip of his nose.
Noah reciprocated with one to her cheek. “I’m glad you’re here sweet pea. I miss you when you’re gone.”
I walked downstairs and stood back to give them their space. Erin glanced at me. “My mom doesn’t let me talk to Daddy when I’m with her, but we text all the time.”
I raised an eyebrow at that curious piece of information.
“Let’s not talk about your mom. Let’s talk about our week together.” Noah kept his voice light and easy. “Are you hungry?”
“No, Pam made me a grilled cheese sandwich before I left.” Erin grabbed Noah’s hand and started towards the stairs. “Don’t you want to go upstairs? There might be a surprise for you.” She said in a sing -song voice.
“Well, I can’t resist a surprise.” Noah lifted Erin into his arms and walked upstairs. I stayed behind.
“Natalie, are you coming?” Erin yelled down to me.
“Honey, I’m sure your daddy wants to have some alone time with you.”
“Daddy doesn’t mind, right daddy.” Erin looked at her father. It was strange seeing Noah as a father to this beautiful little girl, and it made my need for him stronger.
“Natalie can come and see my surprise.” I didn’t expect that answer.
“Natalie already saw your surprise.” Erin tattled.
“Natalie, you saw my surprise before me.” Noah eyed me.
“Sorry, she made me.” Who was this charming man? His daughter brought out the best parts of him, and I knew I would love the weeks when Erin would be home with us.
The three of us in Noah’s bedroom felt odd and comfortable at the same time.
Erin being oblivious invited me to sit on her father’s bed. I looked at Noah, and he gave me the nod of approval. After he read his card and kissed his daughter, he walked into the closet and added it to his collection.
Erin and I stretched out on the enormous bed while Noah walked into the bathroom. Erin was all girl and chatted on and on about everything.
A few minutes later Noah walked out and everything in that moment stopped for me. Erin’s chatter sounded like white noise, and my brain stuttered at the sight of him. Noah changed out of his suit into a soft from too many washes navy colored short sleeve t-shirt and gray loose-fitting pajama bottoms.
I scanned his body and stopped at his bare feet. Mouthwatering perfection. I never knew the sight of a man’s feet could be such a turn on. I watched as his eyes roamed over my body. I am sure it was odd to see me stretched out on his bed.
“Daddy, can we watch Frozen?” Erin stood on the edge of the mattress.
“Again. Don’t you ever want to watch anything else?" Noah walked towards his daughter and placed his large hands on her small hips.
“Not yet, now turn around I want you to give me a piggy back.”
“Please turn around.” Noah corrected her.
“Sorry. Please turn around, Daddy.” Noah positioned himself with the back of his legs up against the side of his bed. Erin jumped on his back and wrapped her small arms and legs around her father. “Come on Natalie,” Erin called out as they walked into the hallway.
Once in front of Erin’s bedroom door, Noah crouched down until Erin’s feet touched the ground. “Honey, why don’t you change into your pajamas before we start the movie.” He suggested. “In case you fall asleep.”
“Okay. Natalie, follow me.”
“No honey. Daddy needs to talk to Natalie.”
Erin huffed, and her shoulders sagged as she walked into her room. “But wait for me.”
Noah and I waited in the hallway while Erin changed. “Do you want me to give you and Erin some time alone? I don’t mind going to my room so you can watch the movie together.”
“Do you think my little girl will let you stay in your room?”
I laughed. “Probably not. Sorry about that.”
“Don’t be. I just want to make sure you’re okay.”
“Yes, she’s wonderful.”
“You think you will be happy in your new position?” He seemed unsure of himself for the first time since I arrived in his home.
“Yes.” As long as I can stop staring at you while you get off.
“Erin seems to feel comfortable with you already.” He looked towards his daughter’s bedroom door then back to me. “And I’m comfortable with my choice.”
“Thank you, I’m glad to hear it.” Did this man have an identical twin? He was so cold just a few days ago, and now he seemed somewhat human. “I will change into something more comfortable.”
Noah stepped aside for me to pass him. This Noah in that outfit would be the ruin of me. Thank goodness a nine-year-old little girl would be our chaperone.
Erin refused to let me sit in a chair by myself, so the three of us sat on the couch with Erin in the middle. I do not think we were twenty minutes into the movie when my eyes felt heavy. I looked over at Noah. His head rested back on the couch, eyes at half- mast but Ms. Erin was wide eye and mesmerized by the movie as she sang along to the songs. She tucked her body under his arm, and his large hand rested on her little leg. I sank a little lower on the couch as the sounds of the movie faded into nothingness.
Sleep still dominated my brain, but I was slowly taking in the surrounding space. I felt something heavy across my back. My one arm lay trapped under my body while I stretched the other one over my head and rested it on something hard yet flannel soft. My cheek rested on that same hard yet soft material. I moved my hand to explore my surroundings. I moved it away as I assumed what I touched was Noah’s semi erection. My eyes flew open, and I lifted my head. Noah stared down at me, his arm resting on me while his hand rubbed my back.
“Good Morning.” He startled me when he spoke.
“Morning?” The light from the television illuminated the room.
“Well, it’s three a.m.” He answered.
“Where’s Erin?” I asked.
“I took her up to bed hours ago.” He kept his hand on my back. “You looked so peaceful, I didn’t want to wake you, and I didn’t want to leave you down here by yourself.”
“Did you sleep?” I asked because of the thought of him awake the entire time watching me sleep, freaked me out.
“I just woke up a few minutes ago.” Noah finally removed his hand from my back to stretch out.
I sat up and twisted to one side then the other, stretching out my spine. Noah clicked off the television, and the room was black except for the moonlight that shone through the many large windows. He reached for my hand and guided me towards the staircase. The security lights embedded in the floors in every corner of each room and on each stair helped illuminate the way, yet he still held on to my hand.
When we reached my bedroom door, we stood to face each other but said nothing. His face moved closer to mine then he covered my mouth with his. He pulled back staring at my eyes then down at my lips. This time I moved towards him my lips touching his.
The energy shifted, and now we were like two starving people. Our mouths moved, our tongues touched, teeth crashed, sucking, biting, and licking each other. I pushed my body into his and felt his erection on my stomach. He pushed back until my back found the wall. His hands moved over my body stopping at my breasts. He palmed both my breasts and my nipples puckered as he brushed back and forth over them with his thumbs. I reached down and with the palm of my hand moved up and down the length of his erection. A deep moan escaped from his mouth, and with a raspy voice, he said my name.
He pulled away, and I heard myself whimper.
He leaned into my ear, sucked his breath through his teeth as he said, “I’m so sorry, Natalie. Good Night.” He left me standing in the hallway.
I wandered into my room, lips tingling from the hottest kiss I’ve ever experienced. What happened? Noah was incredibly good-looking, rich, powerful, and smart; he could be with any woman. I was his daughter’s nanny for God sake, why would he waste his time on me.
Sleep didn’t come that night. My dreams comprised of thoughts and images of Noah, and when morning arrived, I should have felt exhausted, but I felt energized. That Noah felt the same way as I, intrigued me. I showered and dressed and went down to the kitchen. The house was quiet, but it was a beautiful sunny morning, and after last night I looked forward to seeing him.
As stated in the contract, I needed to dress and be downstairs every morning at seven when Erin was home. I was to make Erin a healthy breakfast. The contract listed food options along with her preferences. Then she was to bathe, brush her teeth and dress for the day ready to go by nine.
I was to follow the home-school curriculum and add to it anything that would benefit Erin’s education. Mr. Noah Westlake was firm on having his daughter learn French. When I applied for the position that was the first criteria: MUST SPEAK FRENCH FLUENTLY.
After her studies, she was to exercise – her choice on the activity. I was to make her a healthy dinner by six o’clock then Erin could spend her evening as she wished but in bed by nine. On Monday afternoons she had piano lessons, Wednesday afternoons ballet and Thursdays ice skating lessons.
As for my criteria, besides speaking French, I had to be clean, slim, a healthy eater, my clothes should always be clean and pressed, my appearance neat, no excessive alcohol use, smoking never allowed, No foul language, no baggage as in ex- husbands and crazy ex- boyfriends (mine was in jail), no arrests, no debt (thanks to my crazy ex-boyfriend I had plenty of debt but paid it off before I applied for this job), Must speak proper English and the list went on and on. I was here, so it meant I passed.
Erin was awake and eating breakfast by 7:45. She requested fruit and yogurt with a scrambled egg on toast. I thought kids overloaded on mind-numbing sugary cereals, but as I looked through the cabinets, I realized that was not an option. The cabinets contained only non-sugary cereal.
I sat down with Erin eating the same breakfast except I added coffee to mine. I assumed Noah was up and gone before us, considering the silence of the house. The thought of him gone already saddened me since my lips were still pulsing from the night before. I wanted to see him, I enjoyed the rush he gave me, and just as I had that thought, he walked into the kitchen.
“Daddy!” Erin yelled out with a mouth full of strawberries.
“Good Morning sweet pea.” He kissed the top of her head. “Don’t talk with your mouth full; you remember what happened last time.”
Erin looked at me. “I choked.” She finished chewing and looked up at her father. “Daddy eat breakfast with us.”
“I can’t, this morning I have a meeting.”
Erin gave her father a stern look. “Daddy.”
Noah surrendered and took a fork full of Erin’s eggs and a large bite of her toast.
“Daddy.” She scolded him. “That’s not enough.”
“I’ll be fine, honey. You have fun today.” He mussed her hair.
“You didn’t say hello to Natalie.” Erin pointed out.
Noah straightened and looked at me. “Good morning, Natalie.”
“Good morning, Noah.” I rested my fork on my plate.
“Is there anything you need from me before I go?” He asked.
“I think I'm all right.” Except could you suck my lip into your mouth like last night?
“I’ll be home for dinner.”
He’ll be eating with us. “Would you like me to make you something special?” I didn’t recall reading anything about his food preferences in the contract.
“I eat what Erin eats.” Noah kissed his daughter and left. I felt relief and disappointment all at once.
Each day of my first week with Erin played out the same way. I enjoyed my time with Erin. She was a lovely young girl, bright and aware of everything around her and smart, easy to teach. In expected children’s honesty, she was also blunt.
She said, “I’m smart like my daddy, my mom isn’t smart, and daddy wants to make sure I use my brain. He tells me it’s a muscle and I need to use it or it will become weak.” I knew education was very important to Noah. My education was very important to him and one of the core reasons I think he hired me.
Erin also liked to exercise, but her idea of exercise consisted of everything fun. We played hide and seek, we had relay races, and she loved to dance. We danced a lot. Erin choreographed, and I followed along. All her favorite songs were from the most popular girl pop stars. Erin liked to pretend we were on stage performing as backup dancers. I had to admit I was having a blast. The dancing became my favorite part of each day except dinnertime.
Noah came home every night for dinner to eat with his daughter. The first night felt awkward, and I didn’t feel comfortable having dinner with them. They needed father and daughter time. Therefore, I chose not to set a plate for myself. They both sat down, and I served them and walked away.
“Natalie, you are not eating.” I thought for sure Erin would be the one to ask me first, but Noah asked.
“I thought you might want dinner alone together, just family.”
Erin said nothing but looked confused at her father.
“Sit. Eat with us.” Noah stood offering me his seat and then went to the cabinet and pulled out another plate and filled it with food. He then sat down on the other side of Erin across from me.
Every night after that night, we ate dinner together like a cozy little family. Noah would ask about our day and then slowly he confided in me about his. He talked about various projects he was working on both with his business and his philanthropic interests. He asked me my opinion on certain issues, and I felt comfortable giving it. Then he’d turn the conversation towards me.
I was sure he knew most everything about me except the few things I hid well. I was sure he was not aware why I lost my position at the University. My colleagues and the board respected me, and I assumed they felt sorry for me, so as a favor, they omitted why I left and kept my references impeccable.
The evenings ended with the three of us sitting together reading or playing a board game. Then Noah and I would put Erin to bed. After, He and I would return to the family room and talk while sipping one of his expensive wines until I fell asleep. Sometimes it would happen mid-conversation. I would wake to Noah nudging me to open my eyes, “Natalie, let’s get you upstairs.” We would walk upstairs in silence until we reached my bedroom door where he would say, “Goodnight Natalie.” Then leave me for the night.
My first week with Erin left me feeling happy, yet, sad because it ended and I would not see her until the following week. And though, I trusted being alone with Noah; I feared how the week alone with him would play out. I needed this job, and I didn’t want to give him any reason to dismiss me. He might consider how inappropriate our behavior had been so far and felt I am not a good fit for this position.
And if he kept me on, I could only hope there’d be no more fucking women on the couch. He must realize it was inappropriate behavior to have me witness. He could do whatever he wanted outside the home, but as his daughter’s caretaker, I felt I deserved respect, especially after the week we spent together.