Theresa showed up earlier than expected. I’d only had an hour in the water with Amy before I saw her waving from the cabana. I plastered a smile on my face as Amy led me back to them. She didn’t want to leave my side or let go, and I was in no hurry to be away from her. She made me forget about everything that had happened in the past few months and even years. Suddenly, nothing else mattered.

“I was just telling Aaron that we’re about to dock at the first port. I’ve decided to celebrate a little bit, so I have a surprise. Of course, we can’t start exploring until tomorrow, but I just can’t keep a secret.”

“Really?” Amy said. “What, Grandma?”

“Well, I thought we girls would have a whole day of exploring and maybe even a movie night and popcorn on the beach. You two have some catching up to do, so you can set off on your own, then we can meet up back on the ship the next morning.”

“Why the next morning?” I asked cautiously.

A wry smile crossed her face. “I’ve rented two cabins for tomorrow night on the island. So you see, I’ve already spent the money. It’s a done deal.”

“Mom,” said Aaron. “That’s—”

“That’s wonderful, Theresa. Thank you so much for that. We can’t wait,” I said quickly before Aaron could talk.

I could see the elation on her face. I knew that Aaron was just trying to protect me from another potentially awkward moment, but I didn’t want to be that person. I wanted everyone to have as much fun as possible, even if it was only for a week. I shot him a wink as Amy distracted Theresa with a grateful embrace and started to plan the big adventure.

Aaron rose and took my hand, leading me away from them. “Julia, you don’t have to do this. I know you want to spend as much time as possible with Amy.”

“I do,” I said softly. “But she wasn’t my only reason for coming back. I do want to talk to you more and finally have that conversation.”

“All right, if you’re sure.”

“You two have plenty of time to catch up later!” hollered Theresa. “I’m an old lady, and I want dinner, so let’s get this show on the road.”

I laughed and held out my hand for Amy, which she latched onto right away. She didn’t let go again until I promised to find her as soon as I was done changing. I hadn’t had much time to shop, and I’d spent far more than planned. I had enough money to live well, thanks to my father, but I still pinched every penny, just like my mother had taught me. The red dress I tugged on had been a splurge. It slenderized my entire body as it hugged my curves. The modest neckline was offset by the high slit in the snug skirt.

The door opened and closed softly just as I was done pulling the comb through my hair. I spun around, half expecting to see Amy. When I turned and saw Aaron staring at me with his mouth hanging open, a blush coursed through my body. He wasn’t hiding the fact that he was checking me out. His eyes lingered on my breasts and my heart started to race. He took a few steps forward. For a second, I thought that he wasn’t going to stop. I thought he felt like I did and was going to wrap me in his strong arms.

“Here,” he said. “You left the tag on the dress. Its lovely, by the way.”

He stepped around me and cut off the tag. I swallowed hard and cleared my throat. “Thanks. I was shopping in a rush. I guess we’re ready to go?”

“Yeah. They’re waiting on us in the dining hall already.”

“Wow, Amy left without me?”

Aaron smiled. “Don’t worry, she made me promise that I would bring you in the next five minutes or, as she said, ‘She will just faint from boredom,’ or something dramatic along those lines.”

“Ha! I know where she got that attitude from—your side of the family,” I said playfully.

“Julia,” he said softly.

I realized for the first time that he hadn’t moved away from me. All I needed to do was twist sideways and we would be close enough to kiss. He would tilt his head down as he always did and take my chin. Guiding our lips together until they touched, it would ignite my body. The flames would lick at my flesh until he satisfied the desire burning deep inside me. I craved his touch. I’d waited five years for it.

“We should go,” he said, quickly stepping away from me.

I almost leapt away from him. “Right. Thanks for cutting that off. I don’t want Amy to faint, after all.”

“You know, I would still like to talk.”

Talk? He couldn’t even touch me without shrinking away. The last thing I wanted to do was talk, but there was no way I could start a fight. Amy was waiting on me and I’d agreed to play his game for a week. Slipping past him, I grabbed my purse from the bed and smiled back at him.

“I don’t want to keep your mother and Amy waiting. Ready?”

He sighed but nodded his head, not wanting to fight another battle. We still had a long time to repair our relationship, even if it would never be the same. Tonight was about something bigger than us. As we silently made our way down to the dining room, Aaron took my hand. I started to pull away before realizing that Theresa and Amy were watching us.

“Just for the week,” I reminded him.

* * *

“There you two are!” Amy said. “The man in the funny uniform was talking for like, ever.”

Theresa smiled. “He’s the captain, honey.”

“He’s making the food take forever and I’m starving.” She pouted.

I sat down next to her with Aaron at my other side. “Don’t worry, I think I see them bringing it out now. Are you having fun?”

She nodded while picking at a dinner roll. “Can you tell me what you did?”

Her abruptness made me briefly draw back before I realized the rest of the table was watching us as well. I smiled at her. “What do you think I was doing?”

Amy looked around the table and leaned closer to me. In a secretive whisper, she said, “I think you were a spy.”

“Oh, really? What makes you think that?”

She shrugged. “Daddy never really talks about your work. He said it was far away though. Spies have to travel a lot, you know. They can’t have families.”

My heart tugged at me. She had made up her own reasoning for my absence over the years. The wild imagination of a young girl. Amy was an amazing young woman, and I had left her. The guilt was overwhelming but her warm smile brought me back.

“How do you know so much about spies? You would make a very good one, you know that?”

Her eyes lit up as she vigorously nodded. “Have you ever met the president?”

I shook my head. “No, have you?”

Amy burst out in laughter and leaned across me to talk to her dad just as the first course came out. I busied myself with eating the food, but it was gone long before the next course came. Theresa smiled at me and tapped the chair next to her. My heart started to race as I scooted away from Amy and took the seat next to Theresa.

She leaned in and spoke softly as we watched Aaron and Amy talking. “She thinks the world of you.”

“I think the world of her too. I’ve missed out on so much,” I said quietly.

“That’s the life of a spy, right?” she said with a grin. “Aaron hasn’t told me much about what you do, but I understand your reasoning.”

“You do?”

Theresa nodded. “Sometimes, sacrifices have to be made to keep our families safe. Whatever you’re doing while you’re away, you should know that little girl worships you. I don’t remember the last time I saw her so happy.”

“I’ve only ever wanted what’s best for her. I hope that doesn’t change now that—” I froze. “Now that I’m back here for good.”

Theresa’s eyes lit up. “Well! I had no idea. To be honest, I wasn’t even sure you were going to make it on vacation with us. Hearing that Amy will have her mother home with her every day is such a relief. I do wish we lived closer together, but now, I know they will be taken care of.”

I had to change the subject. I felt like the weight of the conversation was pressing on my chest. “Aaron said that you were sick for a while. How are you feeling now?”

She shrugged. “Good days and bad days, but at my age, as long as you still have any days, it’s a good thing.”

“My mother would always say that any morning the lord graced you with a sunrise was a good day to be alive.”

“How is your mother doing? Aaron told me your father passed away several years ago. I’m sorry we couldn’t make it there to be with you.”

“That’s okay. She is doing okay, finally getting the help that she needs.”

“Oh?” asked Theresa, her interest piqued. “I didn’t realize anything like that had happened. I knew that Aaron always worried about her, but she seemed pleasant enough the one time that we did meet.”

“She’s very good at putting on a positive face for the outside world,” I said carefully. Theresa continued to look at me. “After losing my father, she started to have a mental breakdown. Recently, she had to go on a retreat of sorts.”

“Ah,” muttered Theresa. “I understand that. We all need breaks from reality occasionally.”

My mother didn’t need a break. She needed to be dragged back to it kicking and screaming. I was thankful when the second course came out and Amy beckoned me back to my seat. Talking with Theresa was difficult. She was a wonderful woman and mother, but her quick wit and easy nature made it hard not to open up to her. Aaron deserved to know the truth before anyone else . . . if he would ever give me the chance to tell him.

He smiled at me as they set our plates down, and his hand slid across the plates and took mine. He looked so honest, like nothing in the world made him happier than sitting there with me. My life had been in shambles for months, though, even years. How could he still have feelings for someone as damaged as I was? No, it was an act for his mother and our daughter. I pulled my hand away and picked up my fork, shuffling things around on the plate though I’d lost my appetite.

By the time the food stopped coming out, I’d let the incident go and was back to eating with our daughter. Aaron had to carry her to the couch where she was sleeping in the suite by the end of the night. After telling Theresa goodnight, I slipped away to the privacy of the bedroom for the night. As I slipped on my thin nightgown, bought for the tropical weather, I heard the bedroom door open and peeked out. Aaron smiled at me, and I forgot about the many problems we had. The rest of the suite was quickly falling asleep, but not us. We had a lot of time to make up for.