Caroline hid her face against his chest so he couldn’t see her heart breaking on the inside. Reaper was a man of few words, part of who he was, she imagined, his line of work. but his words revealed an entire lifetime of loneliness and pain. Had he really never felt loved before now? Had he never had a family or a girlfriend? She found the second half hard to believe. Men as strikingly handsome as Reaper were never single for long. His expert moves earlier spoke of his experience, yet he had all the emotional standing of a newborn baby. And while she lacked the physical experience, she’d been surrounded by loving support her entire life.

Growing up, Caroline’s nanny had always told her that she’d find a soulmate who would complete her one day. He’d fill in her missing pieces and she would fill in his, just like Caroline’s mother had done for her father. Though her mother had died in childbirth, Caroline had seen the unquestionable longing in her father’s gaze every time he talked about her. That was the kind of love she wanted. A love that went beyond the boundaries of the here and now, and although she wasn’t ready to profess her undying love for Reaper, she sensed that possibility with them. His touch calmed her.

And she eagerly looked forward to learning more about sex with him—just as much as she looked forward to helping him realize that there were people in his life who could truly love him.

His heartbeat was fast beneath her ear. That had to count for something. She wouldn’t press him for more now; he wasn’t ready. She’d have to treat this warrior with kid gloves if she didn’t want to scare him off.

What she needed was a distraction in the pool, inches from their feet. If he’d never had a family or good friends, then he’d completely missed out on childhood pranks. She fixed her face into a solemn expression, unwound her arms from his waist and stepped back.

Reaper frowned, skepticism evident on his face, “What’s wrong?”

She sidestepped, forcing him to turn so that his back was to the water, and then pressed her hands gently against his stomach and leaned forward like she wanted to kiss him. “Just this,” she said and then shoved with all her might.

Reaper did not move an inch. It was like she’d shoved against a brick wall. Her stomach squeezed up into her throat as she realized her mistake. He might be emotionally underdeveloped, but he was so far stronger in every other sense. She didn’t have a prayer for taking the man by surprise.

His black eyes widened a notch and his mouth opened slightly. “Did you just try to push me into the water?”

Caroline gulped and took a giant step back. “Of course not.” She took another step back.

Reaper crossed his arms over his chest, the movement making his muscles flex in a way that made her mouth water.

“Yes, you did.”

Caroline read his intention before he even moved. She let out a shriek, spun on the ball of her foot, and made it one entire step running in the opposite direction before his hand wrapped around her waist. Before she could register what was happening, she was flying through the air. She had just enough time to slam her mouth shut before she hit the water and was submerged. She came up sputtering in time to see him jump in right next to her, the huge splash from his equally huge body soaking her once more.

And then she felt his hands around her ankles, her calves and sliding up her thighs. She kicked with all her might to get free, but he didn’t let go. Reaper rose from the water directly in front of her and lifted her above his head. She screamed once more and grabbed his wrists, afraid he was going to throw her again. Instead, he lowered her until he was eye level with her breasts. Heat spiked in her chest and she wrapped her legs around him.

“What are you doing?” she whispered.

“Paying you back.” And then his mouth closed over her nipple and sucked hard, drawing a loud moan from her lips.

She let her head fall back as the sensations washed over her. Already, she was throbbing and wet for him, ready to take him inside her again. But she didn’t want him to stop what he was doing either; the pleasure was so intense.

He continued to lavish attention on her, moving from one nipple to the next until she was a squirming, writhing mass in his arms. If he kept up this pace, he was going to make her orgasm again. And she’d already decided to make him lose control first this time. She wanted him to see what it was like to receive care and attention.

“Wait, we need to wash off,” she gasped out.

Reaper’s answer was a growl as he continued nipping and sucking her sensitive breasts.

Caroline dug her nails into his scalp and pushed him away. “You need to wash off, you beast.”

She prayed he could hear her teasing tone and was rewarded when he blessed her with a heart-melting smile. “Fine, I’ll clean up, but you’re not escaping me that easy.”

He crossed the length of the small pool, climbed out, and disappeared into the woods. Caroline tread water, watching the area where he’d disappeared into the trees. What was he up to? When he returned a few moments later with a small bottle clutched in his hand, her eyes widened. And then he jumped back into the water, popped the lid, poured clear liquid into his palm, and began scrubbing his head.

Even with the feet separating them, she could smell the fresh scent of his shampoo. “You have soap?”

She’d been scrubbing herself with semi-rough rocks to try and get the dirt off, wishing all the while for just a drop of body wash.

“Of course, it was in the medical kit.”

Caroline felt her eyes widen. It was her turn to stare in shock this time. “I thought that was some kind of disinfectant!”

“Nope,” Reaper said and then ducked his head under the water. “Combination shampoo and body wash,” he said when he surfaced.

Caroline swam across the pool faster than should have been humanly possible. She snatched the tiny bottle off the shore, and poured some into her palm. A delighted sigh escaped her as she lathered up her hair and the fresh scent filled her senses. “I didn’t think I’d get to have a fresh bath until I got home. Bless you.”

“Don’t bless me, bless the military.” Reaper quickly finished up washing, but Caroline took her time, making sure she scrubbed every crevice. When she reached between her legs, she was met with a delicious tenderness.

Reaper’s arms closed around her from behind and his hand replaced hers, rubbing small circles over her clit beneath the water. Caroline let her eyes slide shut and her head fall back against his chest. This had to be what heaven was like. Part of her never wanted to leave this place, this paradise, uninterrupted by the outside world. They could stay here forever. Together.

And then his fingers slid inside her, stretching her and feeling her. Her orgasm built quickly, crested and burst, leaving her clinging to him for support.

He nuzzled her neck. “You feel so damn good. I need to be inside you again.”

It took all her willpower not to turn and wrap her legs around his waist and take him inside her right there. She had better plans for him. “Come on; let’s get out of the water.” He let her swim to the edge and then lifted her up before following her onto the bank. This time she pressed a hand against his chest and forced him to lie back. He stared up at her questioningly.

“I want to see you this time,” she said with hesitation in her voice. “It’s my turn now.” She wasn’t a hundred percent sure of what she was doing, but she had an idea.

He crossed his hands behind his head and relaxed, allowing her a completely unobstructed view of his body. She wanted to kiss every inch of him, so she did. She went to her knees beside him and took his lips in a gentle caress. When his fingers speared her hair to hold her in place, she pulled away and pushed him back to the ground.

Testing and learning as she went, she kissed her way down the satiny skin of his neck, pure feminine power fueling her when chill bumps appeared on his skin.

She nipped her way down his chest and flattened her tongue against his hard nipple, closing her eyes when he moaned out loud. “That feels good.”

She moved to his other nipple and did the same thing, mimicking what he’d done to her earlier, until he yanked her head back and forced her to stop. “If you keep doing that I’m going to come right now,” he said, staring at her with barely banked heat in his gaze.

She would’ve smiled if she could have, but she was so turned on it was all she could do not to straddle his hips. As soon as he released her hair, she began working her way down his flat, ripped abdomen until her chin bumped into the tip of his cock. His hips bucked, and she sucked in a breath, stealing her resolve.

“Tell me if you like it,” she whispered and then pressed a butterfly-soft kiss to the shaft.

His fingers were in her hair instantly, holding her to him. “I like it,” he practically growled.

Emboldened by his words, she worked her way down to the base of his length with her lips and then flattened her tongue against him and licked all the way to the tip. Reaper was more than generous, groaning to encourage her. She licked him again and again, marveling at his unhindered reaction to her touch.

And then he grabbed her hand and wrapped it around the base of the shaft. “Take me in your mouth.”

She followed his instructions instinctively, placing her lips around his cock and lowering her head until she’d taken him all the way into her throat. Her lips didn’t come close to touching her hand and she wanted to take him deeper, somehow knowing he’d like it better. She tried but was unsuccessful. Frustrated, she began to pull away, but Reaper stopped her. “Try to relax your throat. Just don’t stop doing that.”

Caroline began to work him with her mouth, her lips stretched wide, and she took him a little bit deeper each time. He showed her how to move her hand up and down with the movement of her mouth, and before long she was working him all the way in, the length of him punching against the back of her throat. And she got wetter and wetter with his every groan of pleasure.

Suddenly he ripped her from him, lifted her in the air, and set her down, impaling her on his length in one fast and hard thrust. Caroline arched and cried out at the intrusion, her body both reveling in him and trying to adjust to his size.

He didn’t give her time to settle, but gripped her hips and lifted her up and down, the veins on his arms and neck bulging. “I can’t hold back much longer.” He punctuated each word with distress.

Caroline was so close to the edge herself it didn’t matter. “Me either.”

She leveraged herself up onto her knees to try and help him, and he let her take over the motion, rising and then dropping forcefully, fully impaling herself.

She kept up the furious rhythm for as long she could, until her core tightened and the orgasm overtook her, robbing her control of her body. Caroline threw back her head and screamed. Reaper grabbed her hips and pounded into her two more times before he roared out his own release, sealing them together.

Exhausted, Caroline dropped to his chest and closed her eyes, gasping for breath as she savored each wonderful inch of the man inside her.

He wrapped an arm around her and anchored her to him, sealing her sense of contentment. This man completed her; there was no doubt in her mind.

* * *

They spent the rest of the afternoon drowning in each other’s arms, curled up with the soft mossy grass as a cushion beneath them and the jungle sunlight warming their skin. Reaper marveled at the entire situation.

He’d never lain around and done nothing, not in his entire life. Not as a child in foster care, not as a homeless teenager, and certainly not in the Special Forces. He found this new existence . . . a revelation. And Caroline seemed to have absolutely no trouble snuggling in his arms and napping against his shoulder. She trusted him completely, even though she shouldn’t. If she were smart, she’d be running for the hills. Instead, she was like the lamb cuddling up to a hungry wolf.

If she had any idea. . .

Reaper’s gut twisted. Could he still do it? Could he ask her for her blood? Could he take it? He’d seen her stark terror in the lab, and although he’d kept distance, he knew putting her back in that situation, or any derivation of it, would probably break her. No matter how strong her backbone was, it would break under that kind of betrayal from him.

Because that was exactly what it would be. He’d formed an emotional bond with her—hell, he’d taken her virginity—and he was even now allowing her this make-believe fantasy that he was her salvation from the enemy.

When in truth he was the enemy.

He’d even kept the truth about her father from her.

Maybe there was another way. He’d never allowed himself to ponder that thought before. Ever since he realized Caroline’s blood was the answer to the serum shortage, he’d only thought about her as a supply, not the beautiful creature contentedly curled in his arms.

She’d already revealed she had a giant heart, when she’d exclaimed over him stripping the clothes from those dead bodies back in the building. Someone who cared about the dead that much would care about the living even more. Maybe he could explain the situation, tell her how much he needed her, how much his entire team would rely on her for their mere survival. But in so doing, he would make them all vulnerable.

If she bolted, there was always the risk, no matter how small, that she might escape. He’d made sure to use only one vial of the serum, so that each and every one of his teammates would have one remaining dosage if it came down to it, but without Caroline and her blood, they would eventually die from withdrawal. Just like his soldier had died in the lab.

And it would be his fault.

He could risk his life, but not his teammates’ existence. How could he be sure that her affection wasn’t simply an adrenaline rush from him rescuing her from her perceived enemy? Hell, she’d been raised the spoiled daughter of a United States senator, how much emotional depth could she really have?

Was it even possible she’d consider putting herself back into the lab to save others?

He gazed down at her sleeping face, wishing he could see inside her soul. Maybe tonight he could talk to her, probe her, and gauge her responses without letting her know the truth. Depending on what she said, he might be able to make a fully informed decision.

If Caroline responded the way he wanted her to, he could tell her almost the whole truth. Then he’d actually stand a chance at keeping her in his life.

That thought warned him more than the sun. Coming home from the mission and knowing Caroline would be there waiting for him made his skin tingle with anticipation. She would be just as eager as she had been today, offering herself to him so unselfishly.

And she’d actually tried to push him into the pool. Reaper snorted at that, his amusement undeniable. As if a puny thing like her could budge him an inch. He’d been shocked at first that she’d even attempt such a thing. It had taken him half a second to realize that she’d been teasing him, trying to get him to smile and laugh like her. The attempt, although futile, made him look at her in a completely different light.

That Caroline was willing to give so much of herself to a man like him, whom she’d only known for such a short period of time, told him a lot.

She was special. She wouldn’t let his men die.

Caroline lifted her head from his shoulder, her heavy-lidded gaze landing on him, and propped her chin on his chest. She looked like a contented kitten that just drank an entire bowl full of warm milk. When only a little while ago she’d been a wild and abandoned tigress riding him with fervor. 

“How long was I napping?” she asked in a husky voice that made him imagine doing dirty things with her.

“Couple of hours maybe,” he answered just as gruffly. His cock was already hard. It had sprung to life the moment she opened her eyes, but even he, who’d had so few lovers recently, knew he’d used her roughly and her body needed a break. He could hold out for a few more hours and give her time to rest.

“What about you? Did you just wake up?”

“No, I didn’t fall back to sleep.”

She lifted up onto her elbows, and her breasts bounced in a way that begged for his touch. “Why didn’t you wake me? What have you been doing this whole time?”

Reaper tore his gaze from her and stared at the clouds directly overhead, scrubbing a hand over his face as he fought for control.

Staring at you.

“Resting. Relaxing. I’ve never really done much of that before.”

Caroline propped her dainty chin on her hand and her lips worked up at one corner. A stray lock of pale blonde hair fell over her forehead, and he brushed it back behind her ear using any excuse he could to touch her soft silky hair.

“What do you mean you haven’t done much resting or relaxing before?”

“We don’t have much downtime in my line of work. When we’re not on a mission, we’re training; and when we’re not training, we’re checking supplies or working out.” For his entire adult life, Reaper had lived for the United States government. He’d been so enthralled with their cause he’d volunteered them for Project Mayhem, willingly putting his life into their hands.

“Surely you’ve had some downtime before?”

He shrugged.

“Vacation?”

“If you call tent camping in the Middle East a vacation, then sure.”

Caroline arched her brow. “How about a day off to just do what you wanted?”

Honestly, if he had a day off, he wouldn’t know what to do with it. All he knew was guts and guns and gore. Besides, why would he waste his time doing nothing when he could be bettering himself, which would ultimately assist his team? “A day not training was a day lost.”

Her mouth fell open and she stared at him like he’d grown horns. “What? You mean to tell me you haven’t taken leave ever since you joined the military?”

“Well, I took some leave after basic, before I transferred to my Ranger Regiment.” Of course, he’d been barely eighteen at that point and young and dumb. He’d plowed his way through half the women with tramp stamps on their backs within a fifty mile radius before finally getting all his pent-up energy out of his system. Not that he’d tell Caroline that, and not that it mattered. He hadn’t been with a woman in years; he honestly hadn’t felt the need. Until now.

“And how old were you when you did that?”

“About twenty,” he lied. There was a hint of pity lurking in her expression, and pity was one thing Reaper couldn’t tolerate. Pity was for weak-minded, weak-willed, pathetic excuses for human beings. He didn’t need pity.

“And what about your friends? Your family?”

“My team is my family.” His unit was his entire reason for existence. They ate trained and worked as one, because any weakness in the link could mean death for them all. Every man in Reaper’s unit had earned his right to be there. If anything, Reaper didn’t deserve them.

Caroline’s voice softened, “What about your parents?”

Reaper answered as unemotionally as he had when Dr. Winters had asked him that exact same question in one of the interviews she’d conducted before they’d started Project Mayhem. “I don’t have any. And I don’t want any.” The multiple foster parents he’d had didn’t rank anywhere on the scale of parenthood. If there was such a thing, all of his parent figures would come in at a minus ten.

There she was looking at him with that sorrowful expression again.

“Don’t pity me. I’ve never known what it was like to have real parents, so I never missed them.” He poured as much hatred and scorn in his voice as he could to prove his point. “I never knew my parents, and from what I learned about them when I hacked into my file at the orphanage, I was better off not knowing them.”

And if she didn’t stop looking at him like that, he was going to bite her head off.

“You’re even stronger than I thought you were.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

“I imagine that most of the children who grow up without parents don’t go on to volunteer their lives in service to their country with so much honor and integrity.”

Okay, she must’ve bumped her head or something. She was talking about him like he was a goddamn saint, and Reaper felt obliged to relieve her of that false notion. “I joined the military at such a young age so I could have three squares a day.” Which was something he’d rarely had in his life before then. Ignoring her shocked expression, he pushed forward. “They gave me a bed to sleep in, clothes to wear, and only asked as much out of me as they did the man standing next to me. That’s more than I can say for any of my foster parents.”

Tears welled in Caroline’s eyes and her chin gave a telltale wobble, but she didn’t say anything. He didn’t fucking like it one bit. “Button it up right now. I swear to God, if you start crying, I am out of here. I don’t want or need your pity. I’m perfectly content with the way I turned out, just because I didn’t have the same silver-spoon-fed upbringing you did doesn’t mean I’m lacking.”

He used a tone that made most men cower, but Caroline didn’t even look away. A tear slipped free and tracked down her cheek, and dammit, he regretted his harshness. 

“I don’t think you’re lacking. I’m in awe at how much you turned things around for yourself.”

He was an asshole. She’d been marveling at his story, something he never thought about, not since his very early adulthood, and here he was getting pissed off at her. Reaper blew out a sigh and brushed her tear away with his thumb. “I’m sorry. I don’t like pity, and I thought . . .”

She wrapped her tiny hand around his. “You thought I felt sorry for you. Well, I don’t, you’re too perfect to feel sorry for.”

“Perfect? Me?” He felt his lips tug into a half-sardonic smile. “Princess, I’ve been called many things in my life, but perfect isn’t one of them.”

More like ruthless assassin.

“You are to me. If it wasn’t for you, I’d still be in that lab. I would’ve died alone and scared. But probably not before I lost my mind. My father would’ve never found out what had become of me . . . and that would’ve killed him. You see, he lost my mother when I was born and he never recovered from it. I’m all he’s ever had. And then he sent you here, and you rescued me singlehandedly.” Her words grew stronger, her conviction evident.

She deserved to know her father was dead. He needed to tell her the truth, but he’d rather take another bullet to the shoulder than break her heart right now. “Anyone could’ve rescued you.” He couldn’t look at her.

Her fingers touched his chin and turned him back toward her. “No, not just anyone.”

Reaper fought a groan. There was definitely hero worship in her gaze. Goddammit. At first, he wanted that from her; he’d wanted her complete and willing cooperation, but now . . . Now it was all based on a lie. A lie that would completely destroy her—and maybe him too, if there was anything left to destroy.

He had to find a way to ease her into the truth and gain her cooperation. But damned if he could think of a plausible excuse right now. He needed more time. A couple of hours to formulate a plan and execute it. And even though he knew he was a complete bastard, he knew there was a small chance she’d run after he told her, and he needed to make sure he’d be able to stop her if that happened.

“We need to get dressed. I haven’t even secured the perimeter. If the soldiers find us here, they’ll get ambitious before I have a chance to fight them off.” He got to his feet, pulling her up with him. Next, he grabbed her discarded robe from the ground and helped her shrug the material over her shoulders to cover her exposed nudity. How could he have relaxed his guard so completely that he hadn’t even thought about their vulnerability out here in the open?

Reaper shrugged into his pants, grabbed the bottle of body wash, and then snatched Caroline’s hand, leading her back toward the hut as the sun began to set behind the trees.

“If they haven’t found us in the past two days, somehow I doubt they’re gonna stumble upon us this afternoon,” Caroline said.

Reaper froze in his tracks. “Did you say two days? I was out for two days?”

“You had a really bad fever, and you actually kind of fell off the bed and tackled me on the ground and reopened your wound. I had to stitch it back together.”

He’d lost an entire forty-eight hours. His team must be losing their minds. The repercussions of his weakness slammed into him, slamming him with a fresh burden of guilt. They needed him, and he’d just spent the whole day lazing around, savoring Caroline’s sweetness. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Caroline backed up a step, her gaze searching his. “I-I didn’t think it mattered.”

Before he even realized what he was doing, he grabbed her arms and lifted her from the ground. “Of course, it matters!” They were still an entire day away from his planned extraction point and an entire ocean away from his men. He’d be lucky if they made it back in time before the men were all dead.

“Reaper, you’re scaring me.”

As carefully as he could, he lowered her to the ground and forced his fingers to unclench from her arms. He honestly couldn’t blame her for not telling him how long he’d been out; she hadn’t known it was important, and he had withheld much more serious information from her. She had no idea how imperative it was that they get back to the United States right now.

And frankly, she didn’t deserve his anger. It was his own damn fault. But this little vacation he’d taken from reality was over. It was a fantasy he couldn’t indulge in anymore. His life wasn’t like this. It never would be. “I shouldn’t have grabbed you like that. I’m sorry. Come on, back to the hut. I need to secure the parameter, and pack up—we leave at first light.”