Chapter 6

Lilly had lied.

When Alec found her sitting on the floor, she hadn’t been fabulous or anything close to fine.

The explosive sound, the breaking glass, the shouts had sent her into an instant mental tailspin. Before Alec had even left her side she’d retreated inside her head and became once again that little kid who locked herself into the hall closet while her aunt and uncle’s “passion” raged on.

Not until Alec returned had she realized that the space surrounding her had cleared of other people. Not until he lifted her onto his lap and wrapped her in his warm arms had she breathed easy.

Everybody had their little quirks, she consoled herself.

“What happened?” she asked him now, sounding drowsy. A lethargy was overtaking her body as adrenaline seeped from her system.

His voice rumbled in his chest and was a deep hum against her body. “Nothing dire. A vehicle ran into a transformer and the power’s out.”

“Everywhere?” Her heart sped up again at the thought she’d have to spend the night without light. Even the closet had not been completely impenetrable. A crack at the bottom of the door had been enough to illuminate the scruffy toes of her sneakers as she sat curled in the cramped, dusty-smelling space.

“No,” Alec said, and he lifted one hand to smooth her hair from her face, a gesture both soothing and intimate. “But even if it was, we’d get your cell phone back and scare up a few flashlights.”

“Right.” No need to panic. Again.

“What about you, Lilly?” he asked quietly. “What happened to you?”

She held herself very still. “I told you about my bad sense of direction. When I heard the explosion, the screams, the breaking glass, I just sort of…got lost.”

“My question wasn’t about tonight, Lily.”

Her heart started thumping madly. He’d sensed there was something more complicated behind her reaction. Her face burned with shame and she fought the urge to bend into herself like a pill bug, protecting her sensitive underbelly.

“I-I don’t know what you mean,” she finally managed to croak out.

“Okay,” he said, stroking her hair from her forehead again. “It’s okay, Lilly. You don’t have to answer.”

Letting her head fall to his shoulder, she allowed her tense limbs to relax again. He continued the soothing caresses, the silence between them a balm to the last of her tattered nerves.

Lassitude swept her again and an odd thought drifted into her brain. What if she told him? What if she explained about being abandoned by her mother and about her aunt and uncle and the defect in her bloodline?

This is how Durands love.

“Are you going to take a nap on me?” he asked, his voice amused.

“Maybe,” she admitted, trying to ignore the temptation to let down her guard and tell Alec everything she kept behind her wire-wrapped heart. Audra knew the basic details, but Lily had never told those to any man and even her best friend didn’t know how it felt to have such a tenuous hold on survival.

As far back as she remembered, her aunt and uncle had threatened to kick her out of their apartment, or worse, pack up and leave and not take her with them.

To her despair, those experiences had only served to feed her most private, unspoken, and deep-set need for roots and real family, even as she knew she didn’t have the tools or the bravery to try and satisfy it. If you didn’t strive for something, it wouldn’t hurt when you failed to achieve it.

Once she’d met Audra, Lilly had lived in the Montgomery orbit, trying not to take up too much space, but basking in the outer edges of the sunshine they created as a unit.

The Thatchers radiated that same nourishing warmth, she thought. Stability. Security. Which meant Alec would never understand her or her situation and he’d likely offer up in return an embarrassed pity if she told him about it. People like him didn’t want to know there was ugliness and upset in the world. He would resent her for lifting the screen.

She stirred in the warm cup of his big body, thinking that he couldn’t be comfortable, and knowing she’d have to exit the comfort of his arms at some point. “I’m too heavy,” she said.

“You’re a feather.”

A low note in his voice had her turning her head to glance up at him. “Are you falling asleep too?”

“No.” As he stared down at her, that power he held to weave a cocoon around them was at work again. The surrounding darkness became velvet curtains enclosing them and she wasn’t afraid or upset to have lost her sense of direction again. If she held a compass it would point to Alec as true north and she couldn’t look away from him as his mouth lowered to hers.

Lilly’s limbs went heavy and her stomach seemed to float upward as she breathlessly anticipated the kiss. Maybe she should demur, but there wasn’t a chance of that occurring, no chance at all.

His breath rushed out, making her lips tingle. Then his tongue traced the edges of them, a tickle that he soothed with a soft swipe across her lower lip.

Her mouth opened and he surged inside.

Lilly’s nipples tightened in a rush and a pulse throbbed between her legs. She felt heavy there, too, swollen and ripening as he deepened the kiss.

Squirming in his lap, she heard him groan as her hip pressed against the stiffening erection there. He adjusted her, hitching her into a different position, and his fingers found her bare thigh, the skin revealed because the hem of her dress had ridden high on her leg.

He stilled.

Then his mouth became more demanding, the kiss scorching her lips, setting fire to her blood. She wiggled again, trying to get closer to him, her need near-desperate. Desire had never before caught her like this, sweeping her up and leaving her thoughts and concerns behind.

Helpless, she thought, and wondered why the idea didn’t terrify her.

“Alec,” she said, dragging her fingers through his hair and holding him to her. “Alec.”

One of his hands soothed her, running down her side, but then his fingers found the hem of her silky dress and he groaned. His palm burned as he pushed it higher to follow the curve of her flank to her hip. He toyed with the edge of her panties there and Lilly moaned.

Lifting his head, he drew in a fast breath. “Sugar. Sugar, I’ve got to touch you.”

Her tongue drew a line along his jaw.

“God,” he said, shaking his head as if to clear it. “Let me…let me…”

“Yes,” she murmured, shivering as he traced the elastic line of her underwear with one fingertip. “Anything you want.”

Distant warning bells sounded at that remark, but they receded as he adjusted her on his lap again. Her back to his front now, and he spread her legs over his. She bucked at the wanton pose, but he hushed her and spread one big hand between her hip bones to keep her in place.

The heavy heat of it made her inner muscles clench and she turned her head to instinctively seek his kiss once more. His mouth found hers and they were at it again, their tongues twining, then seeking. He drove deep and she sucked on his, making him shudder.

His free hand roamed her neck, her throat, her collarbone and then skimmed over one breast. She quivered, and he came back to it, with a light touch pressing her tight nipple into the cup of his palm. His fingers closed over the rounded flesh and it swelled, the ache causing her to moan, a sound he swallowed down his throat.

He found the little buttons marching down her bodice and managed to undo them, their mouths still fused. Pushing aside the fabric, he shoved his hand beneath the stretchy lace of the cup of her bra and his big body went taut as he covered her bare flesh.

Lilly arched into his touch, wanting more. His mouth trailed across her cheek to her ear. He tongued the lobe, and goose bumps spread from the tiny point of contact to the top of her scalp and to the bottom of her toes.

“Alec,” she said, her voice fractured. He wasn’t moving his hands, they only contained her, one around her breast, the other anchoring her hips in place. She wiggled her bottom and his fingers moved, tightening on her nipple. The little pain was glorious and she wiggled again. He increased the pressure and she moaned, her mouth seeking any of his skin. It found his throat and she wet it with her tongue, tasting the clean citrus flavor of him, barely salted.

He moved his hand to her other breast and she arched again as his lips dragged back to hers. Their breathing sounded loud within their velvet enclosure and Lilly wanted to do something with her hands. She wanted to feel him, touch him, please him.

Reaching behind her, she looped her hands around his neck. Her nails dragged against his scalp and his breath caught as he broke the kiss. “Stay like that, Lilly,” he said, his voice strained, the timbre rough. “Just like that, sugar.”

Then he proceeded to drive her mad.

He teased her nipples, plucking and twisting at them until she was rocking in his lap, her range of motion limited by the heavy weight of his other hand. She whimpered and he pressed his cheek to her temple. “What do you need, sugar?”

As if she could say it out loud. Then she didn’t need to, because he used that hand to grasp at the skirt of her dress, yanking it above her panties. Then his fingers slid under elastic and silky fabric to cup her mons. Her craving for his touch doubled and she lifted into this new one. With a minute adjustment, one long finger slid into the groove between her lower lips and he pressed there, even as she felt the gush of her body’s arousal wet his hand.

Embarrassed, she turned her face into his throat and he pressed a kiss to her hair. “Don’t be shy, Lilly. This is what you want. This is what we both have been wanting.”

As if she could deny it, given her shaking thighs and the heated response of her private flesh. But she squeezed her eyes shut all the same, sealing the image of his big hand caressing her.

He teased her layers open with deft touches, moving his fingertips in circles to spread her liquid all over the soft, sensitized flesh. Cool air touched her there and again her inner muscles clenched and released, leaving behind a frustrating emptiness.

She made to move her arms, intending to goad him into something, into more, but he pinched her nipple and made her gasp in a stab of mixed pleasure and pain. “Keep them overhead, sugar,” he commanded. “Right where they are.”

With a muffled sound of agonized frustration, she returned to position. He chuckled, the sound sexy and male. “Here you go,” he said, and slid one long finger inside her, a slow, deliberate possession.

Her eyes half-opened at the absolute sensual thrill of it. “Oh, God,” she whispered, tightening on the intrusion. Her heartbeat thundered in her ears as he began moving it in and out, in a rhythm that turned her mad then madder as he added a second finger. The stretch was delicious and she arched, holding him inside her.

He murmured against her temple, phrases and words that barely registered. So hot…so wet…that’s right, sugar, let me add another.

The third finger made her cry out but he shushed her again. You can take this, baby…I know, God, your tight pussy is incredible.

Another time she might have blushed at the blatant carnality, but she was too far gone now, panting with a need she’d never known before as she rocked her hips into the pleasure and burned with the sweetest of scalding fevers.

“Alec,” she pleaded, unable to say more than his name.

He drew out his fingers, drove them inside her again and she arched, goose bumps springing up everywhere and her toes curling. “Alec…please.”

“I can’t wait to get inside this soaked pussy,” he said, his voice rough with promise. “But first I’m gonna send you flying.” Then he touched his thumb to her clit, thrumming across the swollen, pulsing nub.

Lilly’s pleasure shot high then shattered, and she buried her head against his shoulder, her teeth closing over cotton-covered muscle as she rode out the waves of ecstatic release.

Incredible.

Only with the final twitch of her muscles did she remember the awkwardness of this kind of one-sided encounter. With a new flush of embarrassment, she freed the fabric in her mouth, hyper-aware of Alec’s hand still buried between her thighs. They both breathed unsteadily.

“Um…” What could she possibly say? “Your turn?”

“Sugar, I want nothing more than to lie you down, get you naked, and learn everything there is to know about you with my tongue—” He broke off, laughing softly. “Sweet girl, that just made you wet all over again.”

His hand slipped carefully from her body and at her small gasp he soothed her with a soft kiss to her hot cheek. “But we can’t do that here. There’s broken glass everywhere and it’s not exactly private.”

Chagrined, Lilly righted her clothes and quickly clambered to her feet, ignoring her wobbly knees as she fastened her dress’s buttons. “I…” In his arms she’d felt safe and not for a second had she considered someone might stumble upon them. “I’m sorry.” Her face continued to burn.

“No need for sorry, sugar.” Standing, he took her by the hand. “Not when we’re going straight to my room. There, you can make it up to me by divulging all your erotic secrets.”

As he led her out of the building and through the paths to the resort’s lobby, that word echoed in her mind. Secrets. There was that compulsion rising inside her again, to share with him more of herself. What, if in addition to becoming intimate with him, she also became intimate?

As in confessing who she came from. Crap people, she tried out in her head.

Yet even the crap people hadn’t really wanted her.

Upon reaching the lobby, she found herself overwhelmed by the bright lights and the noise. Chattering people stood around with coffees or cocktails in hand. Lilly hung back and Alec looked down at her, concern in his gaze.

“Okay?” he asked. He looked rumpled and delicious. Sexy.

She probably appeared a mess. “I need to freshen up,” she said, glancing in the direction of the women’s lounge.

“Give me your check slip and I’ll collect both our phones,” he said.

Lilly dug hers from her pocket, then skedaddled out of sight. In the restroom, she cooled her face with a bath of water and finger-combed the waves of her hair. Her mouth gave her away, she thought, grimacing at her reflection. No doubt about it, her lips appeared extremely well-kissed.

But would that be so terrible? she suddenly thought. So what if visitors caught sight of her at Alec’s side with her pink afterglow and her giveaway mouth? If even Tina saw them together the world wouldn’t end.

Her eyes widened and with a guilty start she realized she might be glad for the other woman to see them together and wonder.

Bad Lilly, she mouthed to herself and shaking her head, returned to the lobby.

But the platinum blonde wasn’t the woman talking to Alec as Lilly approached him from behind. It was instead Jessie Hathaway, the friendly resort staff person she’d spoken with a few times and who, she’d learned, was Alec’s second cousin. “She came to me crying the blues,” Jessie was saying.

Alec scowled. “Hey, I didn’t do anything to give Tina the impression I was interested.” As Lilly came to his side, he glanced over. His gaze then fixed on her mouth.

Yep, Lilly thought, total giveaway.

His hand reached up to tuck a tendril of hair behind her ear.

“And clearly you’re not available,” Jessie said drily.

“What?” Alec asked absently, still looking at Lilly.

Jessie sighed. “I do think she was sincere about her apology, though.”

Alec clearly wasn’t listening. “Uh-huh.”

“She feels bad she didn’t do more after—”

“No.” In an instant, Alec’s demeanor changed. His spine shot straight and he arrowed a narrow look at Jessie. “Let’s not—”

“You had a horrible tragedy in the family, Alec, and your supposed girlfriend at the time couldn’t bring herself to show up at the house with a frickin’ casserole.” Jessie’s lip curled. “She knows how shallow that made her seem.”

Alec grimaced, his posture tense. “We don’t have to air this in front of the whole world, Jess.”

“But Alec—”

“Some things are better left unspoken.” He cleared his throat. “Especially in front of strangers.”

The young woman blinked. “Oh.” Her eyes shifted in the direction of Lilly. “Oh. I wasn’t thinking.”

“Yeah,” he agreed.

“Well.” Jessie made a big show of shoving her hands in the pockets of her white jeans. “I’ll just take me and my big mouth off. See you kids around.”

Then she left, leaving Alec and Lilly—the stranger—and the elephant she hadn’t known about. He didn’t look at all happy to have her aware of some secret he held.

How ironic, when all she’d been concerned about until now were her own.

 

Studying her in the bright lights of the lobby, Alec saw that Lilly had her game face on—he already knew her that well. Her mouth curved in a neutral half-smile that she might have been able to pull off better if her lips weren’t puffy and red from his kisses.

Fuck, those kisses. He wasn’t sure he could even think of kissing again without thinking of Lilly, the warmth of her light, supple body against him, the searing power of their lips fused together. When she was near a hunger rose inside of him and he found himself so damn greedy he couldn’t keep his hands off her.

“If you’d just give me my cell phone, I’ll get back to my bungalow to check on Audra,” she said. Her gaze was trained just an inch above his left shoulder.

The “stranger” remark had offended her. He got that. He just hadn’t known how else to signal Jess to stop blabbing in that loud voice in the middle of the hotel lobby.

“Let’s go to my room,” he said quietly, then put up his hands when she seemed certain to protest. “Not…not for that. But I should explain—”

“You don’t owe me any explanation,” she said, and like a hedgehog, he could see all her prickly parts were on alert, ready to pierce the closest predator.

He could let this go, he thought. Avoid any further entanglement with the woman.

But Lilly fascinated him with her plucky vulnerability and her delicate independence—absurd contrasts that didn’t really make sense but appealed to him in some elemental, visceral way. And now that he’d bared her skin he was ravenous to taste more of it, hungry once again to smell her perfume when he’d heated her body with his touch. Of course he wanted her in his bed so he could see her come apart in his arms before thrusting into that wet, soft heat between her legs.

Sure, he wanted what he wanted, but was it right?

She’d rejected the idea of a one-night stand, remember? How fair was it to seduce her into that very thing now?

Except if he told her what happened five years before, he most definitely wouldn’t be in any mood to seduce. And there was that persistent, nagging itch digging between his shoulders making it obvious he couldn’t let her walk away from him after that unkind “stranger” remark.

He couldn’t let her walk away knowing that he’d hurt her feelings.

Shit, he thought, stifling a sigh. He’d suspected he would come to like her and it had already happened. He liked her very, very much.

A barrel-chested guy in nothing more than a towel wrapped around his waist stumbled by, almost plowing over Lilly. “Hey,” Alec said sharply. “Watch it.”

“Watch what?” Belligerent, the man reeled toward Alec. The quick movement caused him to stagger, now knocking into Lilly.

Alec caught her to him and before he could lay into the asshole, one of The Hathaway’s staff was at the elbow of the barely-covered guy. “Mr. Seltzer, your wife is looking for you. The spa is in the other direction.”

The man blinked owlishly.

“This way,” the staffer said gently, sending an apologetic glance to Alec and Lilly.

His hands cupping her shoulders, he looked down at her. “Are you all right?”

“I’m fine.” She stepped away from him, her face flushed. “Please, Alec. Give me my phone and then I’ll say good night.”

He couldn’t look away from that rush of color on her cheeks. “You said you had something to discuss with me,” he recalled.

“Oh. Right.” A frown line developed between her eyes and then an exuberant group of teens came dashing through the lobby. Lilly and Alec had to sidestep to avoid the energetic sweeps of their arms as they replayed their recent tennis match. “Not here,” she said.

“My room,” he suggested again, and this time she followed without further protest.

Inside his suite, she immediately glanced around the spacious living area, and drifted toward the balcony with its view of the pool. As he shut the door, he couldn’t keep his gaze off her lithe figure in the little dress. His hands flexed, fighting the urge to go straight to her and tear off the silky fabric that was between her and what he wanted.

Lilly, in his bed.

But he ignored the need burning in his belly and forced himself to stroll to the minibar. He was here to slake his conscience, not his lust. “Can I get you something to drink?”

“I met Jacob first, you know.”

His eyebrows rose. “Jacob Belcher? The runaway groom?”

“Yes.”

He poured himself a whiskey and a glass of chardonnay for Lilly. “Where?”

“His firm was doing some work for the Montgomerys’ company.”

That made sense. Jacob was an environmental lawyer; the company was involved in renewable energy.

Lilly took the glass he offered with a murmured thanks. “There’s a café on our ground floor and I was having lunch there. He asked to share my table.”

Of course he asked to share her table. Lilly would have caught the other man’s eye in an instant.

“I found him very charming,” Lilly admitted, still staring out at the pool. “I thought…”

“You thought he was hitting on you.”

She glanced over, scowling.

Fucking shoot him, but Alec found the disgruntled expression on her face adorable.

“I thought he was going to ask me out. There’s a difference.”

Not to Jacob, Alec supposed, but kept his mouth shut.

“But then Audra joined us—we often ate lunch together—and the minute I introduced them, it was as if I didn’t exist anymore.” She sighed. “I see now that wasn’t a good sign of his long-term reliability. But at the time…”

Curious, he had to prompt. “At the time…what?”

She ducked her head. Muttered. “I thought it was love at first sight.”

Alec hooted. “No. No way. Tell me you don’t believe that’s real.” When she went very still, he began to feel very bad. Shit. Could it be that Lilly Durand wanted to believe in love at first sight? “Think about it, sugar. If something like that’s so out of our control, you could…you could be in line at Carol’s Coffee one morning, say, and find yourself head over heels for some dude you’ve never met ordering his daily Americano.”

Like you, a voice inside him said. She could have found herself head over heels for you.

Lilly shrugged one slender shoulder. “If anyone could find a romance like that, it would be Audra.”

“But not you?” he asked, frowning.

“I don’t want to fall in love.” She turned to face him, her manner now brisk. “But Audra did, and lousy Jacob Belcher is still doing a number on her emotionally. Have you heard from him at all?”

Alec threw back his whiskey, then set the glass on the nearby side table. “Yeah. Turns out he didn’t go to Tahiti after all. He’s spent the last few days surfing up and down the coast.”

Lilly’s expression brightened. “Didn’t I hear of nearby shark warnings?”

He had to laugh. “Remind me not to get on your bad side. But, sugar, warnings or not, the sharks are always out there. Every surfer knows that.”

Lilly sipped from her wine. “I don’t know what to tell Audra.”

“The truth. She dodged a bullet and he isn’t going to come back around for a second chance.”

“We don’t want to get her hopes up,” she said, nodding slowly.

“There’s no reason to hope,” Alec agreed.

“Yes,” Lilly said. “You’re right. Men will be men, and all that. Your nature is to eschew commitment and keep on the hunt…like Jacob, seeking out the perfect wave or whatever the heck he’s doing. The thing is, Audra is a perfect wave and he’s stupidly paddling past…” She sighed. “There comes a time to drop the metaphor.”

He grinned, finding her adorable again. “You were doing so well. Can we try once more, this time working in a great white?”

With a roll of her eyes, she handed him her half-empty glass. “The point is, men of a certain age range prefer a succession of casual hook ups, while avoiding long-term pairings.”

Not all men, he thought, setting the wine aside. Maybe not even most men. “Well—”

“Casual hookups. Successive,” she repeated firmly. “Not long-term pairings.”

“Lilly—”

“Present company included, as previously acknowledged by present company himself.”

Her cynical viewpoint on men was suddenly bugging the hell out of him. It wasn’t as if he could say that he thought 180-degrees different about what, at the basest of primal levels, drove his age-and-gender cohort. And sure, he’d done his share of serial dating and fucking. But hell, people found happiness together, they got married, made families.

Stayed together for always.

For as long—or as short—as always might prove to be.

He pushed that thought away. “You’re not entirely right.”

She crossed her arms over her chest. “Oh, don’t try and sprinkle stardust in my eyes, Alec. I don’t know why you’d want to.”

Because she was made for stardust and moonbeams and fairy tales. That she obviously didn’t expect those for herself, he found excessively annoying. That wasn’t the only thing pissing him off. Earlier tonight she’d referred to his “normal, male-in-his-prime behavior” but now he guessed she really considered him some kind of man-whore, banging every willing female who came his way.

“I haven’t had sex with a woman in two years,” he told Lilly.

Her eyes flared wide. “You mean…you mean…” She gulped. “You’re bi?”

“No.” He sucked in a breath through his nose. “Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I’m hetero, though. One hundred percent.”

“A celibate straight guy,” Lilly marveled, as if he was a novelty she could hardly fathom. “And you have all your hair, your teeth, and you don’t smell half-bad either.”

She didn’t believe him, he thought, which was proved by what she said next.

“Next you’re going to tell me that Santa Claus comes down chimneys in December and a bunny brings candy at Easter.”

Alec frowned. Yes, the woman needed more magic in her life.

“What about unicorns? I’ve always wanted to think they’re real.”

This wasn’t going the way he planned, he thought, shoving a hand through his hair. Though, Christ, when it came to Lilly, none of his plans seemed to go smoothly.

“Lilly…” He glanced around, noting the sole, low-slung cushioned chair in the living area, then took her by the shoulders and guided her to the alcove containing the bed.

Only a low light illuminated the space and he thought she might protest, but then she obediently dropped to the edge of the mattress. Her fingers laced in her lap and she looked up at him warily.

He stared into her inky-blue eyes.

What he was about to tell her would change everything between them. First, they’d had a harmless, fun flirtation. Then, once the wedding didn’t happen, he’d had to charm her out of her inherent mistrust of him. But when he told her the truth, those big eyes of hers would go bigger and he’d see the pity in them that he’d come to despise.

It had gotten him plenty of fucking partners five years ago, but three years of that shit and he’d started to feel like he was carelessly, crassly cashing in on a family tragedy. Instead of the act being an escape from the pain, it had become salt in the wound.

He’d begun to wonder if he’d ever be able to have sex again—that didn’t involve his own fist, anyway.

Until Lilly. Upon setting his eyes on her, he’d been ready, willing, eager to take her to bed with not the slightest sense of discomfort attached.

But now that he was going to tell her what happened, she’d be like all the others, her mask of sympathy only serving to turn him arctic inside.

“Alec…” She whispered his name, obviously picking up on his new mood.

Yes, the telling was going to change everything between them, he thought, resigned to it. She’d get that sorrowful look on her face, the same one they all did. It would kill the sexual buzz and that would be a damn disappointment.

“I need to tell you something,” he said, still resolved. “Something about my family.”

She froze, wariness stamped on her features. He sucked in a breath, stalling, despite knowing it was right to share with her the Thatcher tragedy. Because his instincts were clamoring at him again.

They warned him that there could be serious implications beyond the expected flash-freeze of his libido. Much more serious. Lilly Durand, with her cautious heart and exotic eyes, just might see beyond the wretched details of the story to the great rents left behind in Alec’s soul.