Chapter 3

 

When Sylvia mentioned a trip to Australia, Penny laughed it off, thinking her best friend was only kidding. Who could afford a trip to the outback? Besides, Penny wanted to be beachside, sipping mimosas, not hiking through the great outdoors. She didn’t have the energy for something like that. Her body wouldn’t be able to handle it and her doctors would flip out.

“You’re kidding, right?” Sylvia had asked.

“Not at all,” she’d replied. “If, and when, I take a vacation, I want to chill.”

“Australia is totally chill. And you can’t get much more beachside than an entire continent completely surrounded by water.”

As stupid as it sounded, Penny had never thought about it that way. When it came to seaside sunbathing, she’d always thought of places like Hawaii or the Bahamas or even Jamaica. Belize might have made sense, but not once had she ever thought of Australia.

She’d tried to get out of it at first. She’d used every excuse to keep herself holed up inside her apartment, but Sylvia had swatted away each excuse masterfully.

Too expensive? No problem. Sylvia’s day job, or night job really, was taking to the mic as Sylvia Foxx, the sex-kitten, after-midnight radio host. She’d been offered two tickets to Australia by one of her sponsors, some dude named Jameson who had been trying to get in her pants for years. He owned some sort of getaway vacation company, so it made sense he’d be able to hook her up with a trip.

Too busy with work to take a timeout? Again, no big deal, Sylvia reminded her. Penny, being a freelance copywrite editor, could handle clients’ work from the comfort of any hotel room or any poolside lounge chair in any place around the globe. She had the most mobile-friendly life of anyone Sylvia knew.

Not feeling well? Nothing could help Penny fight her sickness better than some warm sun rays and shirtless males prancing around for her viewing pleasure, even if her doctors would forbid it. They would definitely be against a trip like this. But, as Sylvia had stated, what difference would it make? What exactly had her doctors done to change anything anyway?

It was settled. They were on their way to Australia, to a resort in Queensland, where the men were sure to have the sexiest accents and neither of the girls would ever need to buy a drink. This place was all-inclusive, and Penny had to admit, she couldn’t fucking wait.

The flight over, the drive to the hotel, check-in, and even the first few days in paradise flew by in a blur. She sipped cocktails while tapping away at her keyboard. She checked out the handsome men while rewriting landing pages and flexed her ass along to the sound of beach vibes flowing from hidden speakers as she concocted catchy phrases packed with SEO-friendly terminology. No one could see her dancing in her seat, and she’d never allow herself to get up and actually bust a move, but she was secretly enjoying herself.

Sylvia had been spending her nights with Jameson and her days with every other male at the resort. She was much more outgoing than Penny had ever been. She was perfectly at ease in the pool or on the beach chatting with oiled-up studs. Penny had always lived vicariously through her. Sylvia had the golden skin tone all women strove for, she had a model-like body with an ass she was all too proud of, and she spoke three languages. The woman could give you directions in English, curse you out in Spanish, and then seduce you in French—all without batting an eye. Such was the essence of Sylvia Foxx…doll by day, sexual predator by night.

Penny wished she could sum herself up in such a way. If she had to explain herself, she might say she was a bit of an introvert. She didn’t mind being around people, but she didn’t do well in crowds. Small talk was her kryptonite, and her sex life, for the most part, had been quite vanilla. She’d tried to spice it up some with her ex, but Doug only liked the missionary position when sober and doggystyle when drunk. And the man rarely drank. Her body was average. She had a decent ass, smooth skin, and tits that weren’t anything to brag about. Her hair was her best asset, long and dirty blonde, nearly brown, and it was always soft as silk.

Pausing from her work, Penny took some of her hair in her hand and rubbed it between her thumb and forefinger. She wondered how she would look if she cut her hair shorter, maybe above shoulder length, moving in the direction of most women nowadays? She needed to naughty herself up if she hoped to ever get laid on this trip.

No, I take that back. I can get laid anytime I want, but that’s not it. I don’t want shallow sex. I don’t want a drunken one-night-stand. I’ve had that. I want something more.

“Since when did people stop enjoying what life has to offer so they could bury themselves in an electronic screen?” came a voice to her right.

Penny glanced over and saw an older woman, quite attractive in a matriarchal kind of way. Her white hair was cut into the exact same bob she’d been considering only a moment before. The round floppy hat she wore and the sunglasses covering her eyes kept her shrouded in mystery, but it was clear she was a woman in complete control of life. She had an air about her. Penny wouldn’t have been surprised to find out that all the guys Sylvia had been flirting with would come whisking this woman off to her room if she only whistled. This woman might have been older, and she might not have said more than a few words to her, but Penny sensed her dominance.

“Is she a family member of yours?” the woman asked as she raised a tumbler full of what looked like whiskey to her lips and used her pinky finger to point at Sylvia.

“Practically,” Penny replied. “A really good friend. Like a sister.”

“She knows her way around the fellas, huh?” the woman asked.

“That she definitely does,” Penny said.

“And why haven’t you joined her?”

“Excuse me?”

“Why haven’t you set down that machine and slid into the water to go find yourself a man?”

“I think I’m done with dating for now,” Penny said. “I haven’t exactly had much luck with it. I tend to find more pleasure on my own if you know what I mean.”

Penny laughed, and the woman did too.

Oh my God. Why did I hint at masturbation to a woman I don’t even know? She must think I’m a total loser.

“That’s a shame,” the woman said. “Having to count on some alone time when there are so many strapping young men out there looking for a mate.”

“A mate?” Penny asked followed by a giggle.

“A mate,” the woman replied with no hint of playfulness on her face. “Sorry. I never introduced myself. Geraldine Wilder. Gerri for short.”

She handed a card to Penny. Penny took it and turned it over in her hand while barely mumbling her own name.

“Penelope,” Gerri said. “That’s a nice name. I had a great friend once named Penelope.”

“Penny. Penelope was my grandmother’s name. I usually go by Penny.”

“As you can see from the card I handed you,” Gerri continued, “I run a dating agency with some…unique gentlemen on the menu.”

“I’ve tried that, the whole dating agency thing, and it ended badly,” Penny said.

“These aren’t your normal dates,” Gerri replied. “And my dates don’t end badly. It simply doesn’t happen.”

“I’ve tried the whole paranormal dating thing too,” Penny said. “Didn’t go so well.”

“As I said. My dates don’t end badly. In fact, they don’t really end at all.”

“Surely it must sometimes…”

“Doesn’t happen,” Gerri repeated. “Not on my watch. Not ever. It’s kind of something I take great pride in.”

Both women remained silent for a second as they watched Sylvia splash around in the pool, squealing as a handsome, powerfully built man, splashed water at her.

“What would you say you’re looking for in a man?” Gerri asked, breaking the silence. “And please be honest. It only works if you’re honest. None of that tall, dark, and handsome bullshit. I mean you can certainly add that too, but you’ll need to give me more.”

“Fine,” Penny said as she placed her laptop near her feet and turned in her seat, so she could face her new friend. She wanted to give the woman the attention she seemed to deserve. “What I want is a fucking man, Gerri.”

Gerri laughed and sipped from her drink.

“There we go,” the older woman said. “Let me have it.”

“I want a fucking man,” Penny repeated. “I want to be held with arms that squeeze me so tight I think I might suffocate. I want him to hold my hand when we enter a room, like I’m the trophy he’s worked all his life to win. And I want him to walk me out with the same pride. I want to be loved…”

Penny paused there and fell into deep thought, thinking about past relationships and wondering if any of them had loved her.

“Loved,” Gerri said. “I can work with that. But something tells me that’s not all you want.”

“I want to be adored,” Penny said.

“Oh, please,” Gerri replied, sipping from her drink and then setting it down on the ground so she could turn and face Penny.

Penny wasn’t sure what to add. How much should she say? She didn’t even know this woman. Gerri grabbed hold of Penny’s hands and held them as she peered deep into her eyes. There was a warmth there that wrapped around all that strength. It provided an unexplainable comfort.

“I’m not an old heifer,” Gerri said. “Do you think I don’t know what a woman wants? Now, tell me what else you want from your man?”

Instant excitement filled Penny. As absurd as it seemed, she felt as if she were speaking to her fairy godmother and this was her only chance to do this right without screwing it up, she remembered a couple of things she wanted to add on.

“I want him to be strong and brave and I want him to…”

She leaned in closer to Gerri and whispered the rest.

“…I want him to ravage my body, to devour me, to fuck me like he might never get the chance to fuck me again…every time he fucks me.”

“Well hot damn,” Gerri said, letting go of Penny’s hands and slapping her own thigh. “I do believe you have it all figured out, honey.”

Penny sat back on her chair and picked up her computer. She stared at the screen for a moment, not quite sure where all that had come from. This woman she’d only met a few minutes ago had soothed her into saying things she normally wouldn’t. It had been the truth, but it still seemed wrong to say it out loud to a complete stranger.

“It would be nice,” Penny said, “But impossible, I know. It was nice to think about though. For now, I’ll order another drink and be happy I met a new friend.”

“Amen to that,” Gerri said as she held up her tumbler in a toast like motion. “Go ahead and write your room number on the back of that card I gave you. I’ll call you later with details. Get some rest. I’ll have a date for you in no time.”

“Are you serious?” Penny asked. “I was kidding. I really don’t need—”

“That’s enough,” Gerri said. “You’re not fooling anyone. Write your room number down and give the card back to me.”

Penny didn’t argue. She wrote down her room number and handed the card to Gerri. With that, the older woman stood and walked away, calling out over her shoulder, “It was nice to meet you, Penelope.”

One of the young studs in the pool climbed out of the water and walked away in the same direction. Penny would never know the truth, but she liked to believe he was headed off to rock Gerri’s world. She seemed like the kind of woman who could handle that and so much more. Penny laughed at the thought of it and turned off her computer, no longer feeling like working. She would rather think up fantasies of some of these hot men sneaking into her room at night. Ordering another drink, Penny relaxed into her imagination. If nothing else, the older woman she’d met at the pool had given her a sense of hope that her love life might not truly be at its end.

***

The phone rang later that afternoon as Penny was stepping out of the shower with plans to curl up in bed with a good book. Sylvia was out somewhere, probably on a date, maybe even a picnic where she’d come home telling tales of getting fucked on a blanket beneath a palm tree.

“Hello,” she said as she picked up the phone.

She felt like she should announce herself as Sylvia’s secretary since any call they’d received so far had been for her best friend.

“Penelope?” the voice asked, and right away Penny knew it was Geraldine Wilder.

“Yes,” she replied.

“It’s Gerri,” the voice on the other end said. “We met earlier at the pool.”

“Yes, of course.”

“I believe I’ve found you the perfect date, and the guy lives right here in Queensland.”

“You’re kidding.”

“I am not.”

“So…umm…”

A million little ants raced through Penny’s limbs as the nerves took over and she got the urge to pee. This wasn’t normal. She’d been expecting to hide away, get some work done, maybe watch a live band or two, but she’d never expected to be set up on a blind date.

“Pick up a ticket for the Salvation’s Sister party ship down by the resort docks,” Gerri informed her. “It’s casual since it’s a daytime cruise, but no jeans. You know, maybe wear something light…fresh…sexy?”

Penny remained silent as she took in everything Gerri said.

“He’ll approach you,” she continued. “His name is Thane.”

“Dane?” she asked.

“Thane,” Gerri replied.

“Stain?” Penny asked, and she really wasn’t trying to be funny, but she couldn’t quite grasp the name.

Gerri laughed on the other end.

“Yes, dear. I’m setting you up with a man named Stain.”

“Seriously?”

“No, not seriously. His name is T…H…A…N…E…Thane. The ship leaves at noon. Don’t miss it unless you want to stand him up.”

“Wait, what does he look like…”

Gerri had already hung up. They hadn’t even discussed payment. Was she supposed to pay the woman for setting her up on the date? The other dating agency had charged her a fortune even though it had ended so badly. They’d refused to refund her money even after she’d explained how she’d been threatened by a feral ferret. As Penny set the phone down in the receiver, it sunk in that tomorrow at midday, she was expected to get dressed, put on some makeup, and be on a cruise where she’d meet a mystery man.

She walked to the closet and spied the wrinkled clothes she had hanging up. Only one outfit could possibly work in this situation. It was a breezy white pants and top set that Sylvia told her looked lovely.

Penny hated the word lovely. Lovely could mean anything from the way a cadaver looked at a funeral to the way someone’s old grandmother looked the day they went to meet her at her nursing home.

Didn’t Nana look lovely? She sure does like her afternoon bowl of Jell-O!

It wasn’t the best way to describe a thirty-something on her way to a daylight cocktail party on a boat. But lovely was all she had, so she pulled out her clothes and decided to whore the hell out of that lovely piece of fabric. Besides, she knew the pants hugged her ass snugly and the top showed off her belly a little. She didn’t give a shit what Sylvia thought. Lovely would have to be the new sexy tomorrow.

Oh, who am I kidding?