Wabi-sabi, noun
A way of living that focuses on finding beauty within the imperfections of life and accepting peacefully the natural cycle of growth and decay.
I could see the fear in his eyes as we approached the innocuous white door. He feared what lay behind, and I squeezed his hand to reassure him that it would all be alright. And then I opened the door.
Immediately, the stench was overwhelming. I fought the urge to raise a hand to my nose and hold it. I fought the urge to retch. Instead, I just offered Miles a bright smile and passed him the rubber gloves I’d found in his cupboards. We’d also gathered a whole bunch of cleaning supplies. I was starting to think this was Miles’ only vice—apart from the tiny room, he kept everything else neat and tidy.
“Let’s get to work, shall we?” I asked, and he merely nodded, giving me a second glance as if he was surprised by my lack of repulsion. “This place isn’t going to clean itself!”
We stepped inside. The room was so tiny we had to maneuver so it would fit both of us. We were surrounded by trash, things I wasn’t even sure Miles had used himself. There were pizza boxes with the rotting remains of the dish, takeout containers, bottles upon bottles of acidic drinks that smelled so disgusting my eyes watered. There were apple cores and vegetable peelings, there were dirty blankets, there was anything and everything that I could imagine, the odor of it all so overwhelming it was burning my lungs more than the bleach ever could.
I didn’t let it faze me though, I just got to work, and Miles followed suit.
We worked for what felt like hours but must have been less than thirty minutes. The tension in the room was palpable, the fear and anxiety coming off Miles in waves. I stopped in the middle of picking up some trash and smiled brightly at him.
“Why don’t we put some music on?” I suggested, and he nodded, his eyes nervously flitting around the trashed room. “What kind of stuff do you like?”
“Just… traditional old school rock,” he said, and I made a face that made him chuckle. “What?”
“You’re so old,” I stuck my tongue out at him. “We’re listening to my music today.”
“Fine,” he said with an exasperated sigh.
I tapped the app on my phone, and the tiny room filled with the sound of upbeat electronic music. Miles shot me a surprised look, but a few minutes later, I could tell the mood in the room had been lifted. We bantered and bickered as we cleaned the room, dragging out trash bag after trash bag. Then, we got to work with the cleaning supplies, and we scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed until the room started to resemble the storage place it should have been all along.
It took us five hours to clean the room, despite how small it was. I was surprised by the amount of residual gunk in there, but after all that time had passed, we stopped, exhausted but so pleased we smiled at one another.
“It looks amazing,” I told Miles, and it really did.
The room was still just as tiny, but we’d cleaned the small barred window until it gleamed, and now it was filled with light. The hardwood floor was still intact, and the walls would need repainting, but the place was now spotless. I’d never done physical work like that, always relying on cleaners, but now I beamed with pride as I looked at the room.
“I’m so proud of us,” I told Miles, but before I could get the full sentence out he was next to me, pulling me close, his hands rough on my own.
He kissed me with so much vigor, I knew right away how much this had meant to him. He kissed me like he was never letting go.
“Get the fuck in the living room,” he growled at me, and I mewled, stumbling out of the small room and pulling off my rubber gloves as I approached the main living area.
Miles was close behind me, and I felt his minty fresh breath on my skin as he followed me outside. We’d been airing out the living room, and the windows were wide open. We were only on the sixth floor, so people could easily see us if they looked up.
I turned to face Miles and he was on me in seconds, rushing to tear my clothes off my body.
“Miles,” I protested, but the word turned into a needy moan the second his hands made contact with my body.
I was desperate for this, desperate for him. I needed him so badly my whole body pounded with the need to feel him inside me again. I wanted nothing else but to submit to him completely, do everything he asked of me, kneel for him, crawl for him.
“Please,” I begged as he tore into my clothes savagely. “Miles, please… Don’t fucking stop.”
He let out a low growl as he worked my body into a position he liked better, my ass against his crotch and my arms shivering as he held them above my head, pulling off my top and tugging my pants down until I was fully exposed to him. He got rid of my underwear by practically ripping it off me, and I mewled when the cold air hit my skin.
Then, he was tearing at his own clothes, desperate to get naked and join me. I stared at him, once again relishing in the beauty of his body, which was almost heart-breaking. He was a monster of a man, so fucking tall and strong, and it hurt to think of all the things he’d been through in his life. I wanted to personally hurt whoever was responsible for the shit he had to deal with on a daily basis.
“Touch me,” I begged him, and he was on me in seconds, pushing me against the wall, my body helpless to his whims.
He raised my arms above my head again, pinning them above me as his mouth assaulted my throat, sucking at it as if he were trying to suck my damn soul out. His free hand was between my legs, his thick fingers roughly pushing into my pussy, fucking it into a state. I was dripping wet and ready, my mouth spitting words in a frenzy I was so desperate to have him hurt me more.
“More,” I told him hungrily. “More, I want more.”
And then he dragged me to the window and I was pressed up against it, my naked body on full display for anyone below on the street. It reminded me of the first time I’d seen him, and I found myself gloating, knowing I’d taken the previous girl’s spot.
“Are you sure?” he asked roughly, and I nodded over and over again, desperate for him, desperate to have every bit of cruelty he had to offer.
“Hurt me,” I begged him. “Fuck me hard and fucking hurt me.”
In seconds, he’d pulled me to the next window. The one that was open, the breeze cold on my skin. I tried to shriek, but Miles slapped a palm over my mouth, holding me firmly in place.
“Don’t scream,” he ordered me, and I swallowed my fear as he held me out of the window, one hand over my mouth, the other in my hair.
The street was so far below me, but I didn’t feel afraid. I let him have me completely and gave up every last vestige of control, packed it up all pretty, wrapped a bow around it and placed it in his care.
My eyes widened as I took in the street, my tits hanging heavily above it. This was it. This was the moment of madness I’d been waiting for.
I felt his cock entering me, the pure pleasure making me cry out for him. My hips bumped against the windowsill as he started to fuck me, relentlessly and showing absolutely no mercy for my poor flailing body.
Coming wasn’t a decision, there was no option to back out of it. He fucked me so hard I was squirting over his cock in seconds, drenching him in my juices and begging helplessly for more as he dragged my hair back, making me look at the street, at my own apartment across from it, at everything I was willing to let go of so I could have my Miles.
His cock was punishing me, stabbing me so savagely I howled from the pain and pleasure combined. He fucked me like I was his property, and I fucking loved it.
I hoped he would never stop. His rough fingers were pulling my hair so tight I felt tears in my eyes, pricking and stinging and hurting me as he drove into my cunt again and again. And I couldn’t get enough. Hooked on the feeling, the sensation, hooked on the way I felt every vein on his cock throb against the walls of my pussy as he took what he wanted.
My skin was covered in goosebumps, partly from the fear and partly from hanging out of the window, but I didn’t give a sweet shit. I barely even noticed. All that mattered was this moment, where I belonged to him completely, and where I placed every last hope in his hands, letting him do whatever the fuck he wanted to with me—body, mind, and soul.
And right now, he was deciding to fuck it. Fuck it until I screamed for mercy but kept coming on his cock like a brazen whore, too far gone to stop myself and too drunk on my love for him to even want to try. I was an addict, and he was serving up exactly what I wanted, what I needed. I’d never have enough of him, of this.
“Come inside me,” I begged him. “Fucking come inside me, right now.”
“Fucking take it,” he told me roughly. “You’re going to take all of it, aren’t you sugar?”
He turned me around in seconds, his cock slipping out and I mewled at the loss of him. Now, I was hanging outside as he held onto my waist, and he lowered me even farther out the window. I was terrified, my blood pumping, my heart and head screaming both from the fear and the pleasure. I never felt as free as I did in that moment, being completely dependent on him and reliant on his mercy.
“Do it,” I said for the last time, but this time, the tip of his cock nudged at my asshole.
My eyes widened, and I whimpered, but he ignored it. He spat in his palm and lubed his cock for me, and then he was pushing inside, slowly, painfully slowly, but so relentlessly I knew he would be fully inside me in seconds.
I felt myself fighting him, felt the burn as my asshole tried to push him out, and he touched his fingers to my lips gently, giving me a crooked smile.
“Let it happen, sugar,” he whispered. “Let it happen for me.”
I exhaled, and he slipped inside me, making me gasp as he lowered me above the ground. I was terrified, so scared I was breaking out in a sweat. I looked into his eyes, feeling the absolute madness of the moment. Then, I threw my head back and laughed.
I laughed for him, for us, and for Posy. Because I was still here and damnit, I was going to live my life until the very last moment and enjoy every fucking second of it. I was going to love it, and make it worth it for every other person that didn’t get to live theirs.
Miles chuckled and grabbed my tit, his other hand firmly supporting my back so I wouldn’t fall. He drove into me one last time and it was enough. He grunted and came inside my ass, came so much I felt it spurting out of me as he kept fucking. I groaned for him and let go, letting my hands fall down and dangle above the ground.
“You’re so fucking incredibly beautiful,” Miles told me, letting me enjoy that special moment. “This is… it’s incredible. I’m in love with you, sugar. I’m so fucking in love with you.”
I opened my eyes slightly and blew him a kiss.