Alex hid in his room for the entire weekend, only leaving it to use the bathroom, and then only when he could hear no one else in the hallway. He didn’t reach out to anyone — not to his parents, not to his roommates, and not to Jordan.

Much to his chagrin, Jordan didn’t reach out to him either.

He didn’t sleep while he was in his self-imposed incarceration, either. All he did, all weekend, was alternate between absolute despair and trying to rework his budget as a single man. Not that he and Jordan had broken up — no, not at all. He just needed to be ready, to be prepared in case the worst happened.

And in his deepest, darkest hours, when he wondered if every little sound around him might be a mouse, he had to consider whether or not he and Jordan separating would actually be the worst outcome.

He loved Jordan, and he had been genuinely happy to be starting a family with him. He knew Jordan wasn’t thrilled with Alex’s lack of interest in embracing activism. And he knew his anxiety had been wearing on Jordan.

It wasn’t as though Alex could control it.

And it wasn’t as though Alex’s concerns weren’t valid. The fact that he couldn’t turn off his concerns, couldn’t address them and move on, didn’t mean those concerns didn’t come from a very real place and make real sense.

More arrests would make it more difficult to find housing. Bail money would take away from what they needed to survive, and survival would be at the most razor-thin of margins as it was. The violence involved with arrests, especially at protests, would risk both the child Jordan carried while he was pregnant, and his ability to earn a living afterward.

Maybe it was all worth it to Jordan, and Alex wanted to honor that. But their kids had to come first. Their kids did come first, for Alex, and they deserved to come first for both parents.

Sure, Jordan’s parents had put him second, but that wasn’t Alex’s problem. Jordan’s parents’ choices didn’t mean Alex had to put his kids last.

He had to wonder, too, if some of his anger didn’t come from Jordan’s refusal to stand down when Alex tried to intervene. Alex didn’t know if he had the right to be angry about that. Jordan was a grown man, who had a right to make his own choices.

Chad had been insulting Jordan too, and Jordan was the one Chad hit. But he wouldn’t have gotten to that point if he hadn’t made the choice to ignore Alex’s request to just leave it alone.

Alex finally emerged on Monday morning. He still hadn’t heard from Jordan. He didn’t know if he had a job to go to or not. On the off chance that they hadn’t gotten around to filing the paperwork to fire him yet, Alex decided to go to the office. He might as well put more time in, and get a little more money, while he could.

No one said anything about the party when he got there, except for Colby, who thanked him for a good night. Apparently, he’d left before the fireworks with a grad student from Berklee. Well, good for Colby. At least someone was going to get a happy ending out of all of this.

It certainly wasn’t going to be Alex. His exhaustion made concentration impossible, and anticipation made his palms slick with sweat. Every footstep was security or HR, coming to escort him from the building. Every incoming email was a virtual pink slip, and he had to fight down nausea before checking his in box.

He checked his phone, to see if there was some kind of reassuring text or something. It was the kind of thing Jordan used to do, when he first figured out what Alex’s issue was. He’d send little texts throughout the day, just letting him know things were okay. It had done a world of good for Alex, but he’d stopped sending them as often lately, and there were none today.

He missed Jordan.

Maybe he shouldn’t have kicked Jordan out of the party. He loved Jordan. He should have been more accommodating, right? He should have appreciated Jordan’s gesture of rescue or whatever, and just swallowed his anger.

The cops had shown up, but by then everyone else had cleared out (frightened away by Alex’s outburst, but no one else needed to know that) and there hadn’t been any harm done.

Alex shook himself out of it. No, he should not have been more accommodating, or swallowed a single one of his feelings. Jordan hadn’t paid a single consequence for getting into a fistfight. Alex, on the other hand, was sitting here waiting to lose his job over the whole thing, which had been his whole fear in the first place.

A twinge in his gut was the only warning he had, and he had to run into the bathroom. He made it just in time to be sick without making a mess. What a legacy to leave behind.

He cleaned himself up, tried to get himself under control, and went to the coffee station to grab a cup of coffee. He was going to need it if he was going to make it through the rest of today.

When he got back to his desk, he found Anna waiting for him. He almost ran back into the bathroom, but there wasn’t anything to bring up.

“Alex, can I talk to you for a minute in my office, please?”

Alex almost said no. What would be the harm? It wasn’t like he was sticking around anyway.

She was dragging him into her office to fire him; he didn’t have to sit there and meekly accept it. He could run, he could be free, he could be Daffy freaking Duck and “woo hoo” his way out of the office if he wanted to.

That might affect any severance package they wanted to offer, though, and he’d have to make that baby stretch. Plus, he was pretty sure that cartoon physics didn’t apply in his world. At least once she was done firing him he could go home and maybe get some sleep.

He nodded and followed her into the office. He closed the door behind them and sat down in the guest chair, head bowed. “Yes, ma’am?”

“Are you doing okay today?” She leaned across the desk and spoke softly to him. “I don’t want to be rude, or overly familiar, but you’re doing your best raccoon impression, and I didn’t think they had raccoons in Guatemala.”

He snorted in spite of himself. “I’m okay. Just not sleeping well.”

She paused for a second, biting on her lip. “Did you and Jordan have a fight? I checked in with him before pulling you in here, and he said he hadn’t seen you since Friday night.”

She opened her mouth like she had more to say, but closed it instead. Whatever it was she might have wanted to say, it wasn’t good.

“We, um. We got into it a little bit. My roommates threw a party, and things got out of hand. You know how things get.” He could feel his cheeks burning.

“Well. Okay, if you’re sure. Um, so, I did a little poking around, and it turns out the bank has this one benefit they literally never talk about at all.” She reached into her desk drawer and pulled out a pamphlet.

“The bank has child care on site, and they subsidize child care for employees who fall into certain income and rent brackets. I don’t know what your housing plans are, but I’m pretty sure you’ll qualify, no matter what.” She pushed the pamphlet across the desk. “It’s kind of a holdover from the good old days, but hey — we’ll take it, right?”

Alex gaped. “That’s incredible,” he blurted. “I had no idea — this will make all of my calculations so much easier.

“But wait.” He pulled back the hand that had been about to pick the pamphlet up. “I can’t use it.”

She blinked at him, like he’d just slipped into speaking Mandarin. “Why not?”

“Because I’m getting fired.”

Anna blinked again. “Is it the sleep deprivation? We can get you to a clinic, Alex. That’s not a problem.”

“No, no. I got told.”

Alex bit down on the inside of his cheek. He wasn’t going to rat out Chad, even if Chad was an ass. Chad had still steered him right any number of times, and Alex owed him that much.

“I got the heads up from someone. They all got together on Friday and decided.”

Anna lifted her head for a moment, and then she glared at the door. “I think I know who’s responsible for that rumor. And Alex, I can promise you, it was just that. I was in the only management meeting on Friday. You did come up in the meeting. The idea — even the vague idea — of firing you did not.”

Alex shook his head. “My source … he knows what he’s talking about. He wouldn’t steer me wrong. Not about this.”

“Are you sure about that?” Anna got up, walked around her desk, and sat down in the other guest chair. “Alex, I’ve already heard about the fight between Chad and Jordan at the party.”

Alex’s chest felt too tight again. Was this how people felt when they were having heart attacks? He put his hand on his chest and tried to play it cool. “How?” he croaked, as his vision tunneled.

“Breathe, Alex. Come on, listen to the sound of my voice. In for four, hold it, out for seven. Again.”

She breathed with Alex until he got himself under control again. “We’ve got to get you some help, Alex. In the meantime, I’ll level with you.

“Chad did bring it up. He came to me, and when he didn’t get anywhere with me, he tried to go to his father.”

“Oh God.” Alex covered his mouth with one hand. He’d known this would happen, but he still hadn’t been completely prepared for the end.

“That got him in even deeper shit than he already was. His father takes honesty very seriously, Alex. He hauled him right down to HR and filed a harassment claim. Against Chad.

“Chad is currently suspended, pending the outcome of the investigation. HR is going to want to talk to you at some point, but I think today is maybe not the best day. Today might be a good day for you to go home and get some rest.”

She put her hand on his. “Alex, I know the bank has gotten a lot of bad press, and we do have a lot of bureaucracy. But we do try very hard to do right by our people.

“If we’d known sooner what was going on with Chad, we could have done something sooner. But then again, a lot of the time harassment works because the perpetrator chooses victims he feels can’t fight back, or who have some kind of obligation.”

Alex stared at Anna in awe, incomprehension, and dismay, all in equal parts. “But … but what about Higgins? Chad was sure he hated me, and he gave proof in that meeting we were all in.”

Anna made a face and waved her hand dismissively. “Higgins is a homophobe. He’s also a sad old man with nothing to do but sit around and try to ruin other people’s lives. Chad’s had a crush on him for years. It’s a little pathetic, if you ask me.”

She rolled her eyes. “You impressed Harrington, and that’s what matters. I can’t say any more about that.

“For today, I’m calling you a cab to take you home. Go take care of yourself. I’ll see you tomorrow, and we’ll get started on sorting out those foreign fees that have been giving us such headaches.”

Alex wiped away a couple of tears. “Thank you, Anna.”

“It’s hardly special treatment, Alex. But if it were, you’d have earned it.” She squeezed his hand.

“Remember, your job is safe as long as mine is. That’s something you don’t have to worry about. The brass likes you, I like you, and you make this bank look good. That’s all you need to keep in mind, Alex.”

Alex kept his boss’s words in his head as he collected his things and headed out into the brisk November air. The cab Anna had called for him pulled up only a few minutes later, and he made it home not long after that.

Hopefully, this wouldn’t be home for long. He and Jordan would patch up their differences, and they would find a place of their own. Either way, Alex had found some solid footing at last.

He tossed his suit over his desk chair and threw himself into his bed. This time he fell asleep within minutes. It wasn’t quite the undisturbed sleep he got when he was curled up next to Jordan, but he figured maybe it was time to wean himself away.