Now
Dex’s hand rests on my lower back, guiding me as we cross the basement lobby of the Black Building. It’s a good thing too because I’m not watching where I’m going. I can’t take my eyes off him. He kept the short beard, and it only adds to the sexiness of the perfectly tailored suit. It’s a nice suit, but I think it’s more about the man inside it that’s getting to me.
He hasn’t stopped touching me since we left his place either. I’m a little nervous about what this could mean. This is odd behavior for Nic, and I can only take it to mean that something bad is about to come at me. But there’s nothing to be done but go up there and find out. All I can do is steel my nerves and hope for the best. Dex is serving as a good distraction from all those thoughts at the moment.
We stop in front of the red elevator. I place my hand on the scanner, tapping my toe with barely constrained impatience until the green light indicates the elevator is on the way.
“You wanna tell me why we’re in a rush to get here?”
“I’ve no clue why he wants to meet with us.” Especially considering what you do for a living, I think but don’t add out loud. “Nic wanted us here early to talk about something, and it sounded serious, but he wasn’t specific.”
“You look beautiful,” he murmurs, kissing my cheek.
A lopsided smile spreads across my face. “I believed you the first three times you told me.”
“I still think this dress would look better on my floor.” He backs me into the wall next to the elevator door, crowding me in the most delicious way.
I laugh. I’m not sure what about this dress he likes so much. It’s a simple red Furstenberg pencil dress that Sloane picked out for me years ago. It only gets worn when I come here to the club. Its hemline hits just above my knees, and the neckline is a modest boatneck. The back is a little lower cut, and it’s sleeveless, but nothing risqué enough to cause the reaction he’s having to it.
His lips brush over mine lightly just as the elevator dings. He pulls me to him and walks me backward into the elevator without breaking lip contact. My pulse races as I cling to his biceps. His hands drop to my hips and smooth up the sides of my rib cage. I moan into his mouth as I lean into him, pressing myself against him.
He breaks the kiss, and I take a step back, leaning against the wall for support. My knees are weak. Our breathing is labored as we stare heatedly at each other. I close my eyes to calm myself. When I open them, I realize he’s doing the same. His blue-green eyes meet mine as he stuffs his hands in his pocket and leans against the opposite wall. The air in the elevator feels too thin to breathe but thick enough that you could cut the sexual tension with a knife.
“I think all the interruptions are getting to us,” I say when I collect myself.
A smile tips up one side of his mouth. “I’m just going to stay over here, for now.”
“Good idea,” I agree.
The elevator comes to a stop, and I move to the door to exit. The doors slide open with a quiet snick and lead directly into Nic’s penthouse apartment. I step out into the foyer, and Dex follows.
“Hello?” I shout, hoping for an answer.
“In here,” Nic replies, his voice coming from the direction of his living room.
We walk the short hall and turn the corner into the open space that is the living room and kitchen area of the penthouse. There are two full walls of glass pocket doors that retreat into the walls and open the area to the rooftop deck, complete with a pool, hot tub, and covered bar area, where he hosts quite a few parties. But for the moment, the doors are shut, and he’s alone in one of his typical custom suits, sitting on the couch and sipping a golden liquid from a rocks glass.
He tilts his head in indication that we should sit.
“I need to tell you something, Ned. Something I’ve been keeping from you, and it has to do with him. That’s why I wanted him here.”
My eyes lock on to Dex as he sits back on the couch, not an ounce of emotion on his face to betray what he thinks about this news.
“Maddie, you know who my grandfather is and what I do for him.”
I nod because I don’t think he needs a verbal affirmation. His grandfather is the notorious mob boss who runs pretty much everything in Las Vegas. And I know that Nic has been working with him for years, being groomed to take over the family business one day. But I’ve no clue why he would even dare to bring this up in front of Dex. I told Nic who Dex was—an undercover cop in the organized crime division—the first night he got back from LA. It’s why he’s steered clear of us for the most part. Or so I thought.
Nic faces Dex, resting his elbows on his knees. “My grandfather is Lorenzo Beneventi.”
He pauses, and I see the recognition flit across Dex’s face. His eyes narrow and his jaw ticks for a fleeting moment before he resumes his neutral mask. The cursory look of anger is so brief, I think I might have imagined it.
“He told me about his arrangement with you,” Nic continues, talking to Dex. “That you worked for him before taking the deal to become a cop. And that he was the one who encouraged you to take the deal. I also know you still work for him. Even if you’ve been given this temporary reprieve to come to Austin to raise your daughter.”
Dex nods, still stoic. “He gave me five years. Long enough for Audra to get into college.”
What in the actual fuck? This explains why Nic didn’t seem bothered about bringing up his connection to his grandfather in front of Dex. So many questions race through my head, it almost makes me dizzy. I want to know why he didn’t tell me, though I suppose that’s kind of an awkward subject to bring up. Yet, he could’ve told me at the diner, when he was explaining his past and his connections to organized crime. He had let me believe they were former connections. But one question stands out above the rest.
“What exactly do you do for Nonno—I mean, Lorenzo?” I ask.
Dex’s lips pinch, and he looks down at his hands. After a moment, he pins me with a blank look. “You don’t want to know the answer to that.”
Yes. Yes, I believe I do want to know. I’m so fucking tired of all the secrets and surprise revelations. I can’t trust someone who’s willing to lie by omission, and especially from him. We’re already on shaky ground after I found out that he was assigned to investigate me and not identify the stalker, as I was led to believe.
“He’s a cleaner,” Nic says. Dex cuts a glare to him. “She’s a big girl, Dex. She can handle the truth, and I think you’ve already figured out that if you want her to trust you, you need to trust her.”
“Was a cleaner,” Dex says with a biting tone. “I’m retired, for now—five years. We agreed to five years.”
Holy shit. My mind tries to wrap around that bit of information. I’ve been around Nic long enough to know that cleaners are the guys they send in to “take care” of a problem. They are deadly and smart enough to know how to kill someone and make it look like an accident—sometimes even making it look like the person never existed in the first place. I blink. I don’t know how I feel about that information.
Nic’s lips flatten into a firm line, and he breathes through his nose, clearly striving for patience. “Yeah, well, he wanted you to know that the terms of your agreement have changed.”
“That’s not gonna happen.” Dex stands—to leave, to fight, I can’t tell. “I’m not bringing that life anywhere near Audra.”
“I really don’t think you’ll have an issue with the change,” Nic says, raising his hands in a placating manner. He cuts his gaze to me before returning his attention to Dex. “I think we both know how you feel about her and what kind of lengths you’ll go to—to take care of this problem.”
Dex stills, watching Nic with narrowed eyes, his body all tense lines, like a tight coil ready to spring.
“My grandfather arranged for you to be introduced to Maddie.” He nods in my direction. “He knows about her situation, but he can’t get involved without making things worse for her. Because no one can know of her or my connection to him. You being here worked in our favor. I wanted you to protect her, and because I know your reputation, you would see to it that this will no longer be a problem for her in the future.” Nic pins me in place with a pointed stare. “But because of your… developing relationship, I wanted her to know what kind of man you are.”
I ignore that last comment for the moment because I don’t really know what to say to it, but I do have questions about the whole situation.
“You arranged for me to meet him? How?”
“Nonno called in a favor to get Dex’s name put in Holly’s ear. When I told him you were looking for a tattoo artist, he thought it was the perfect opportunity. But when that wasn’t enough, we used our inside contacts to get him assigned to you through more official channels.”
“But the stalker wasn’t around when I met him,” I defend. “I don’t understand.”
“You and I both knew it was only a matter of time before he came back, Ned,” Nic answers. “We had to take the opening while we had it.” He shrugs. “I approached Nonno about it back when you decided to get rid of your security detail. It just took a while for the pieces to fall into place.”
My mouth opens and closes like a fish out of water as I try to think of what to say to that. Six months. It took them six months to concoct this plan to fuck with my life—actually, less than that. I’d let my security team go six months before I met Dex, but that tattoo had been scheduled for several months before. Nic knows that if he forced someone on me that I’d have fought it. I thought the stalker was done with me. And I’m not too proud to admit that I can be quite stubborn.
“You knew about this?” I ask Dex, looking up to him where he still stands, like this whole conversation makes him unable to relax.
“No,” Dex says, looking at the ground. “I do know Lorenzo is capable of stuff like that, but this is the first I’m hearing of him being behind all this.”
“You didn’t tell me that you were still involved in all that. You said you’d told me everything, but obviously that’s not the case.”
Dex doesn’t respond, still looking at the ground with his hands in his pockets. Nic remains laid back, sipping his drink like he didn’t just drop a bomb in my life. It pisses me off.
They lied to me. Both of them. Dex said that he was trusting me with his story to get me to trust him, but he only gave me half of the truth. And Nic… Nic knew this the whole time and never told me. I can feel the numbness setting in. Fuck. Fuck them.
I don’t know how to feel about Dex’s secret occupation. I only feel the anger of betrayal and the sting of lies, lying just below that numbing void of emotional repression that seems to be my natural survival instinct. I do what I always do—build a wall and leave it to deal with another day. I’m sure somewhere deep down I’ve an opinion on this, other than the anger—I’m just not sure in this moment what that feeling is.
This is all too much. I catch the time on the giant clock that hangs on the wall in front of me, and I realize that I need to be downstairs soon. Which is great, because I need some time to process this, but also, I’m looking forward to venting some pent-up aggression.
“Well, this’s been lovely,” I say, raising my voice a little too loud. I cringe at it. “But I’ve gotta get ready for my fight. I’m sure I’ll see you around later.”
I get up and walk away without a backward glance and leave them to sort out whatever they need to. I need to be alone right now. And I really need to punch something.
Then
I walked toward the tour bus, exhausted. We were on our third tour stop, in New Orleans. I’d just come from the backstage area, talking with fans and a few press members about the tour. This shit was insane. I cherished the moments on the bus when we were driving. I could just get lost with my guitar, surrounded by people I love.
My feet practically drug across the pavement, but I still had enough energy to open the door and hoist myself up the steps. I came to a halt immediately at the vision in front of me: Two people, tangled limbs, dry humping on the couch. The familiar voice, flooding the room with moans.
“What the fuck?” I asked.
The two scrambled apart with panic-stricken faces.
“When did this happen?” I asked.
“Today,” Holly said meekly, which was so not her style. Yet, she made no move to cover her bare breasts from me, which was definitely a Holly thing to do.
“She was waiting here for you,” Asher said, fixing his clothes before turning to me. “And one thing led to another.” His fair cheeks were splotchy with embarrassment as he studied the floor.
“One thing led to another?” I asked, fighting to keep the smile from my face unsuccessfully. Laughter roared out of me. “I can honestly say, I never saw this coming.”
They were sitting on the couch next to each other when I fell across their laps, still overtaken with giggles but too exhausted to stand anymore. I rolled over, looking at the ceiling.
“Put your shirt on, bitch,” I said, smacking Holly’s shoulder. “I need to talk to you, and it feels like I’ve a tit microphone right now.”
She laughed and pulled her shirt over her head, shoving me out of the way to pull it all the way down. I rolled back in place on her lap.
“That shit wouldn’t be a problem if you didn’t plop your ass down across us,” she said.
“I can’t fucking stand any longer,” I whined. “And the couch is the only place to lay down. Unless I was game for the kitchen table.” I shrugged. “You know I love both of you, so we’re fixin’ to talk. And this way I can ensure that you listen, too.”
“Whatever, bitch.” She leaned down and kissed me on the lips, with a smirk to soften her words.
Asher groaned and leaned his elbows on my hips, squirming beneath me. I could feel his arousal where I lay across his lap. My whole body started bouncing in silent laughter.
“You two need to stop that,” he said.
Holly and I laughed together this time. When our laughter finally quieted down, I got serious.
“What about Roz?” I asked Holly.
“We broke up.” She shrugged. “Found out he had more than a few side hoes.”
“When?”
“A few weeks ago,” she murmured.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
She frowned. “You’d more important shit to worry about than some fuck boy that didn’t deserve my attention.”
“And this?” I asked, my gaze darting between the two of them. “You did give thought to all the complications this could create if this goes south? Holly, you’re my best bitch, and Asher is my best guy friend. And he’s the drummer for my band. We work together, live together. You’re both family. And you know what family means to me.”
“We can adult that shit, but I don’t see it goin’ sideways,” Holly said.
Asher nodded. “It’s not like that, Mads. We’ve given some thought to it.”
“Yeah, I’m sure. In the whole hour you’ve been off stage?”
“It started back in Houston, but we stopped it because we weren’t sure. So it has gotten more than an hour’s thought,” Asher added. “I think we have something real here.”
Holly smiled and leaned into him. He pulled her to his side, kissing her forehead. He cupped her chin and tilted her to face him and brushed the lightest kiss across her lips. They stared at each other, both filled with longing and hope. It was such an odd match, but apparently it was working for them. And if they were happy, it made me happy for them.
I sighed. “Y’all are adults. I just expect that you know enough not to drag me into it. I got enough drama on my plate as it is.”
“About that…” Holly shifted to look down at me. “Where’s your fiancé?”
“He went back to the hotel suite that Nate booked for the girls and us,” I explained. “He doesn’t do the backstage stuff.”
I knew where this conversation was going and didn’t want to talk about it, so I shifted my attention to anything else.
“What is that smell?” I asked. “It smells amazing in here.”
“She made us dinner,” Asher answered. “Five fucking courses. She just finished. It’s still hot, but also why you didn’t get more than an eyeful.”
I snorted a laugh. Holly tapped my shoulder, and I sat up, giving her space to move out from under me. I shifted over so I was leaning against Asher, as she set out plates and dishes of food on the table. I didn’t want to move, but my stomach gave a loud grumble.
Asher scooped me up and carried me to the table, sitting me down on the edge of the booth-style bench. I scooted in as he sat across from me, and Holly took the place next to him.
“Just because y’need to eat this shit I made for you doesn’t mean I’m gonna drop it. Evan’s taught me some tricks, and I’m gonna get some answers.” She chewed thoughtfully for a moment. “Asher’s told me about most of it, but I wanna hear it from you.”
I grabbed a bread roll out of a bowl and pulled my knees to my chest. “I don’t know what you want me to say. I don’t have any answers. He won’t talk to me about it.”
“I’m not worried about him,” she said, pinning me with her gaze. “I’m worried about you. And the girls.”
“I’ve got it under control,” I snapped. “I’m not letting anything affect my girls.”
“Hey,” she soothed. “Nobody’s sayin’ you’re not doin’ right by those babies, but shit’s gotta be takin’ its toll on you.”
“I just gotta convince him to get help, Holls. That’s it. It’s just hard with the tour to make time for it, and I get that. I don’t know, but Asher’s seen it. He’ll be fine one second, and the next, he’s raging against everyone. And the crowds don’t help. Nate’s had to come up with an alternate exit for him to avoid the VIPs and backstage ticket holders at every stop. It wasn’t that bad in Houston or here, but Dallas was a shitstorm.”
“I saw some of it on TV. Fuck, to see Press-zilla’s face when that shit went down. She’s had to hustle, for sure.”
“It was priceless.”
We both broke out laughing, and it felt good to laugh about it. I missed my friends and home. It hadn’t even been a month. Asher had been my saving grace these last few weeks. He kept me sane when the shit hit the fan. I knew it was horrible to laugh about poor Priscilla’s overtime, trying to smooth over Jared’s very public freak-out, but if I didn’t laugh about it, I was going to cry about it. And laughing just felt better.
“She took it out on a trash can in one of the dressing rooms,” I added on a gasp. “It was Worldstar, trash can edition.”
Holly wiped at her eyes. “I bet the trash can almost took her out with those pencil-skirt suits and heels.”
“It so did,” I wheezed out. “Her heel stabbed through it and she was hopping around on one leg, trying to shake it off.”
“You’re shittin’ me!”
“No,” Asher chuckled. “It happened.”
“You guys need a personal chef,” Holly said. “I gotta be around for this shit.”
I sobered a bit at that. “You know I’d do it in a heartbeat, but we really can’t fit another person on this bus.”
“I’m just talkin’ out my ass, bitch,” Holly responded. “I haven’t even finished culinary school yet. And the team wouldn’t know what to do without both of us.” She smiled.
“True,” I agreed.
“Now eat,” she demanded. “Fuel up, ’cause we’re gonna take on New Orleans. I know ’bout this blues place on the other side of the river. And if that shit doesn’t sound like a Maddie thing to do, nothin’ does.”
I perked up at that. I’d completely forgotten where I was, with everything going on. I hadn’t had a chance to hang around a group of old-school blues musicians. It would be good to take a break from everything and remember my roots. And once again, I was reminded what awesome friends I had. They kept me grounded, reminding me who I was. I’d never stop being thankful for them.