“Asshole,” Gidget shouts.

“Shh, Declan is sleeping,” I say, sliding snacks on to the breakfast table in Declan’s kitchen. Chips, dip, peanuts, and chocolate chip cookies. Plus, my two good friends, Gidget and Garcia. Everything needed to mope and wallow in regret.

“Asshole,” she whispers.

“I disagree,” Garcia says, pointing a chip at her. “I've known Prettyboy for two years, and he's not an asshole.”

“He could have said something,” Gidget answers back. “Marriage is a big deal.”

I slide in at the small table and listen while they debate over what I’ve filled them in on the last hour.

Garcia leans his forearms on the table. “He didn’t know how to tell her.”

“Are you kidding?” Gidget shakes her head, not giving an inch. “She lost a movie role. A movie role.”

“But she was there, too.” Garcia looks over at me. “What were you thinking? I don’t care how good the sex is, you do not let the photographic evidence out of your sight.”

“True. You win that one.” Gidget shakes her head at me. “You take the memory stick immediately.”

I cover my face with my hands. This is all so surreal. How did this happen? Isn’t it funny how you wake up happy and completely oblivious to the fact your world is about to be upended? I had no idea when I rolled out of bed this is where I would be right now.

“I truly don't see why this can’t be worked out,” Garcia reiterates, leaning in a bit over the table to really emphasize his point. “They are in love.”

Gidget’s head whips to me. “Aww, sweetie, do you love him?”

That’s something I haven’t admitted to myself yet. But… “Yeah, I do,” I tell them. “I know you probably think it's too soon, but I've loved him since I was a teenager.”

“No,” Gidget says, pulling her leg in the chair to rest her chin on her knee, “I don't think love follows a timeline. Who’s to say when is the right time? It's a feeling that's there before you put a name to it. And if you name it six months from now, instead of two months, does that make it more acceptable?”

“Girl, that was fucking deep,” Garcia says.

We laugh.

“And you’re right,” I tell Garcia. “We both got married. And if we’re being honest, drunk or not, I don’t think I would have denied him. I just hate that he didn’t tell me.”

“Well you need to figure out if you can forgive him,” Gidget says. “I didn’t realize love was involved. Love trumps everything. As long as no one was murdered, maimed, or otherwise hurt.”

“He’s not a bad guy,” Garcia says, gently. “Sure, he was a dumbass, but aren’t a lot of men? Myself not included, of course.”

“I know he’s not.” I give a half-hearted smile. “I just need some time. I don't understand how he could think I shouldn't know.”

Gidget watches me, and sympathy pulls her face down. She’s as droopy as I am. “I’m really sorry you lost that part.”

Garcia reaches in to give me a half hug. “It’s going to be okay, baby girl. It’s hard to lose trust in someone. People fuck up. And this was a big one. Whatever you decide, I got your back.”

“What's this?” Declan asks, leaning against the entryway to the kitchen.

“Did we wake you?” I ask.

“Not really. I was dreaming about tits,” he says as his lip quirks up into a smile.

Gidget’s eyes go wide at my brother’s words, and I place my hand on hers, grabbing her attention. “He’s in medical school to become a plastic surgeon.” I stare at Declan. “That’s what you meant, right?”

He smiles bigger. “Sure.” He steps further into the kitchen, grabbing a chip and popping it into his mouth.

“Look at those muscles,” Garcia whispers over to Gidget and I. He picks up the small blue bowl and smiles. “Would you like some nuts?”

Declan shoots a smile at Garcia and laughs. “No, man. I’m good.”

Gidget’s cheeks flush. “He has his own nuts, he doesn’t need yours.” Her eyes widen. “I mean, fuck.” She shakes her head as Declan laughs harder.

“Oh, I’m sure he does,” Garcia says in a low voice.

“Guys, seriously,” I warn. This is gross. Watching Garcia and Gidget fawn all over my brother, with his no shirt wearing self, and messy blonde hair, makes me want to hurl. Ugh.

“You guys talking about my boy Jonah?” Declan asks, grabbing another chip.

“Yeah, he was wrong for what he did,” Gidget says, gazing up into Declan’s eyes.

Declan shrugs. “Maybe so. But, I’ve never seen him so into any girl before in my life.”

His words warm me up and later, after they’re gone, and I'm burrowed under a blanket on Declan’s couch, I let it sink in—we were married. My orgasm face is out there for everyone to see. I trusted him. Sure, in hindsight, I shouldn't have been so quick to agree, but I had no reason to doubt him. Who thinks of all the what if’s in the heat of the moment? He had no reason to think someone would steal them, I guess. Does that make us both guilty? Maybe. And now, the movie is gone. Poof.

Well, this has been a valuable lesson; it's all fun and orgasms until a picture of you riding your boyfriend ends up in a tabloid. Worse than any of that? The thing that makes my chest feel like it's been stepped on? We were married. How could he not tell me that detail? How ironic the guy I always dreamed of being with was my husband, and I didn’t even know it. And now I have to divorce him. Should I be this hurt and angry? I think so. My heart isn’t sure.