Chapter Five
"Hungry?" Niles asked, watching Tank as he fidgeted in front of him.
"Not really," Tank muttered, shrugging his shoulders.
Nodding, Niles walked back into the house and said over his shoulder, "Come in then."
He walked into the kitchen and over to the refrigerator, pulling it open and removing two bottles. Slamming the door shut, he quickly twisted off the caps, throwing them on the counter. He handed one over to Tank, who took it, and Niles watched as Tank drank half the bottle immediately.
Tank wouldn't meet his eyes, and Niles sighed. Closing his eyes, he reached out tentatively through their bond trying to get a read on Tank's emotional state. Confusion, fear, arousal and anger. A tumult of emotions running through Tank. Each lasting a number of seconds before another emotion replaced it.
Opening his eyes, Niles took in his mate. Tall and broad, with narrow hips and long legs. Deep brown eyes and spiky blond hair, he ticked all of Niles' boxes. This was how it should be because his mate should be the perfect complement. His white skin was a beautiful contrast to his own darker skin and Niles wanted to run his hands all over it, touching and tasting.
Just looking at his mate had Niles hard and wanting. Arousal thrummed through him and he wanted nothing more than to walk over to Tank and throw him down on the table and take what was his.
"I can feel you. I can feel what you want."
Niles winced, closing the connection at his end and cutting off all his emotions. "Sorry. You're my mate, so of course I want you." He sighed, staring at the floor. "I'll try to stop you feeling it."
"I will stop... shit." Niles watched Tank pull at his hair and realized that it was something he did when he was struggling to deal with a situation. A nervous action.
"I'm sorry. I should have had more control. You don't need to feel me on top of everything else you're going through right now."
"No, if anyone's at fault, it's me. I shouldn't have gone possessive and jumped you. When I saw him... How long?" Tank eyes finally met his. "How long has it been going on for?"
Niles' mouth fell open. Seriously? He thought he was having a relationship with Max? He shook his head. "What?"
"You and him. How long have you two been fucking?"
Niles' eyebrows shot up. Tank really thought he'd been having sex with Max. "We haven't. I have a mate. Why would I cheat on my mate and ruin what we could have?"
Tank rolled his eyes. "Please. I wasn't even interested. There's nothing to stop you two fucking."
"And I repeat myself here. I have a mate. I wouldn't jeopardize that for anyone."
Tank stared at him briefly, then shrugged, and looked away. "Whatever. It doesn’t matter to me, I’m not that interested."
"Yeah, I can feel how uninterested you are. That's why I can't sit down right now," Niles countered, staring at Tank.
Tank winced, tugging on his hair again. "Shit. I'm —”
"No, you don't get to apologize. You wanted me because you couldn't stand the thought of someone else having me. You can deny our connection all you want, you feel it and you're affected by it, just like I am. We wouldn't be mates if there was no chance of us having a relationship. Lie to yourself all you want, but don't lie to me. I won't stand here and accept it. You want me, just as much as I want you. The only difference between us is I'm not afraid to admit it."
Tank stared at him. "That's the second time tonight someone has told me not to lie. I'm not lying."
Niles sighed again, leaning back on the counter. "I won't argue with you. We're mated now, and nothing is going to change that."
Tank smiled grimly. "I know," he muttered.
"So, what are you going to do about it? You know I'll need your blood from now on."
"I know."
"And it'll be hard for either of us to have sex with someone else."
Gritting his teeth, Tank repeated himself. "I know."
"If you want, we can both try to move on. Just send me your blood."
"What?"
"I'm telling you that we can both try to move on. I know you prefer women to men so I'm saying you can move on and try to build a relationship with someone else."
Tank frowned. "So, you're saying you have no problem with me going out and fucking women?"
"As long as I can go out and fuck men."
"No," Tank muttered.
Niles raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms over his chest. "No?"
"That's what I said."
"What do you mean, no? I'm not going to live the rest of my life celibate."
"No one else," Tank growled. "No one but me."
Niles rolled his eyes. "All possessive again. Want me to drop my pants and bend over?”
"Fuck you."
Niles smirked. "I'd rather fuck you."
"I can't," Tank shouted.
Niles blinked, shocked at the outburst. "That didn't stop you before—”
"You don't get it, do you? I'd lose everything. This is the worst thing that could have ever happened to me."
"What? The worst thing that could have happened to you? Thanks a lot, mate."
"You don't understand, Niles. My family would disown me. If there is anything that they can have a problem with, they do. You name it. Blacks, gays, vampires. Anything that isn't white, human or middle-class they'll have a problem with." Tank pointed between the two of them, saying, "They would have a big fucking problem with this."
"Targon... I...” Niles stopped talking, shaking his head. He didn't know Tank's family was like this. "Shit, Targon. I'm all of those."
Tank’s shoulders slumped and he stared at the floor. "I'm sorry, Niles, I can't do this," he muttered brokenly.
Niles walked over to him and pulled him in, wrapping his arms around him and holding tight. "Tell me this honestly, Targon." He pulled back, but put both hands on the side of Tank's neck. Staring into his eyes, he asked, "Do you want me?"
Tank eyes flickered between his, and Niles saw him swallow before he whispered, "Yeah, I do."
"Then we start there." Slowly, so slowly, Niles leaned forward giving Tank time to pull away. When he didn't move, he kissed him, a slow slide of his lips across Tank’s. He placed small kisses across his lips and eventually Tank responded, his lips moving to meet Niles'. When Tank finally sighed into the kiss, Niles deepened it, letting his tongue lick into Tank's mouth to slide along Tank’s.
Tank tilted his head and Niles moaned, moving his hands around Tank's back and running them down over the muscles hidden by his t-shirt. Tank groaned deeply, his arms pulling Niles closer as their tongues caressed each other and Niles went willingly, desperate to feel his mate again.
They stood kissing for several minutes until Niles eventually pulled away, dropping one last final kiss on Tank’s lips. He watched Tank open his eyes, seeing the blown pupils and the flushed cheeks. He lifted his fingers and scratched the stubble on Tank’s jaw, smiling at him.
"We'll figure this out. Come, sit down and eat, and you can tell me about your family."
❊❊❊
Tank sat at the table and watched Niles dish out the food. When it was placed in front of him, Niles said, "It's Tatws Pum Munad, or Welsh stew."
"Ah, cawl. This is my Taid, my granddad's, favorite meal."
"Taid? Ah, you're a northerner."
Tank grinned. "No way. South Wales?"
Niles nodded, chewing his food. "I say granddad, or tadcu."
"I have relatives who still live in Mundy."
"Not far from mine then. So, tell me about your family."
"What's to tell?"
Niles put his spoon back in his bowl, pushing it away and staring at Tank. Tank stared down at his own bowl, fiddling with the spoon and finally sighed when he realized that he was going to have to tell Niles everything. "They are the most phobic group of people I know."
"How is that going to affect us?"
Tank shrugged, mumbling under his breath.
"I'm sorry. What was that?"
Tank pursed his lips and looked up at Niles. "There is no us, Niles."
Niles blinked, staring blankly at him and not saying a word. "We're mated," he whispered eventually.
"I'm sorry."
"But, we're mated," Niles repeated.
"Forget about it now, Niles." Tank dropped his head into his hands, shoulders slumping. "If only I'd kept control, then none of this would have happened."
"There is no forgetting about it, Targon. We’re mated. We can't change that, and it can't be broken either. We are it for each other."
"Look," Tank started as he slowly raised his head. "I did something stupid, but that doesn't have to be the end of it. You said you needed my blood, and I'll send it to you. It's just, we... we can't have a relationship."
"You just told me that you wanted me? Was that a lie?"
Tank sat back in his chair, shaking his head. "No, it wasn't, but I can't do anything about it. We need to forget this happened and move on."
"Forget it happened? Fuck you!" Niles spat out, shoving his chair back and standing up.
Tank followed, also standing up, and they both glared at each other across the kitchen table. "I know this isn't what you want to hear, Niles, but it's the best for both of us."
"Fine. Find someone else." Niles pointed at the kitchen door. "Get out."
Tank straightened. "There'll be no one else."
"No, Targon, if you don't want me, I'll find someone who does. Now get out of my house."
Tank stormed round the side of the table, grabbing Niles by the arm. "No, you're mine."
Niles shoved him away saying at the same time, "Not this again. You going all caveman is what caused this in the first place. I can't live this half-life you're expecting me to. You're either my mate, or you're not."
"Niles—”
Niles slashed his hand through the air. "No! You need to decide what you want."
Tank pulled on his hair. "You don't understand. I'll lose my family."
"Or your mate. Tough choice that, Targon, isn't it? But I think I know what choice you'll make. Get the fuck out."
Not giving Tank a chance to answer, Niles stormed from the kitchen. Tank stood still, staring in shock at his back as he left. His shoulders slumped, and he braced his hands on the table, leaning over it and closing his eyes. His mate or his family? The choice wasn't as easy as Niles thought. If he chose Niles, he would lose his family. All of them. But if he chose his family, he would lose his mate. A mate who he wasn't even sure he wanted.
Twisting sideways, he slumped in the chair and laid his head on the table, feeling the cold seep through his hot skin.
"Shit," he muttered.
Even though he knew all the faults his family had, they were still his family, and he loved them. He closed his eyes, listening to the sounds Niles made as he moved around above him. Niles, his mate. Why did he have to be a man, and a vampire? Oh, and black.
He didn't know what he was going to do, and he didn't know who to turn to. Both Chester and Ale had told him to try, but at what cost? Did he give up his family to be with his mate? Was that cost too high? He knew Niles only got one mate, that there would be no other for him and by denying their bond, he would be asking him to live the half-life.
But, he honestly didn't know if he could give up his family for his mate. He was attracted to Niles, no matter how much he fought against it. The way he moved, the way he smiled, especially that smile that was just for Tank him. When he grinned, dimples appeared that drove Tank mad. His black curly hair cut short had Tank’s fingers itching, and he dragged those same fingers across the table wishing it was Niles instead.
Sighing, he muttered, "I want him."
Saying the words out loud both exhilarated and frightened him, but it was the step that he knew he needed to take.
Maybe he could be open and honest with his family and they would accept Niles when they understood the full implications of their bond. Tank snorted. Yeah, right. That was a wild fantasy, a dream that would never come true. Could he walk away from his family for one person, even if that one person was his mate? Was the cost too much, the loss too great?
Maybe he could keep their relationship quiet for now until he was surer and knew exactly what he wanted. Niles should understand why he needed time to decide. So much was riding on his decision and it wasn't one he could easily make. His family, or his mate.
Deciding he needed to talk to Niles, Tank pushed away from the table and slowly walked up the stairs to him.