For once Bubba’s is dead as all hell. It must be because Christmas is tomorrow. That’s gotta be it. Kyle is home, Enzo is doing a hell of a lot better and Elena is blowing up like a balloon. Michelle even looks pregnant now too. Everyone in this place is having babies, and let me tell you...I will not be next on that list. No way!

Polina and the Dolls are doing a great job at the bar. It makes me so happy to see just how far they have come. No longer the terrified women who came off of that shipping container, they have gained confidence, fearlessness, and so much more while being here. I know if Jenna was here right now she would be so proud, but she’s been busy dealing with Dmitri and his family’s issues with the Russian Bratva. I’ve been texting with her the last few days and hopefully things will settle down soon. She tells me that she is becoming very fond of her niece, Bianca, and that they spend a lot of time together. That makes me smile a lot, the idea of Jenna around a bright and bubbly child. She is so cold, reserved even at times. I hope the little girl is bringing her out of her shell.  Speaking of babies, Jenna told me that Ksenia is pregnant and she won’t tell her who the father is. She’s refusing, actually. Dmitri has been on her to tell him who it is but Ksenia won’t, and I think I know why.

I have an idea on who the father of her baby might be, and if I’m right...then I understand why she is choosing to protect him.

They’re all under a tremendous amount of stress, but I’m hopeful that soon everything will ease up. Hopefully for all of us. We don’t need any more bad things to be happening, that’s for sure. “Maria, we need to go. Now.” Pain’s voice is worried, concerned even. He’s never spoken to me in such a harsh, snappy tone so I know that something is the matter.

I give him a concerned look. “What’s the matter?”

“It’s Angel. She somehow found something in the room and slit her one wrist open. Trick found her, and he’s not sure how long she was bleeding. They’re at the hospital now. We just gotta go.”

We both head to the hospital immediately, and I hope that Angel is okay. It’s so obvious that both Pain and Chaos care so deeply for her. I don’t know what either of them would do if she died, even Chaos...as much as he doesn’t act like he cares. He loves his sister more then anything on this earth.

I hop on the back of Pain’s bike and we’re at the hospital in no time. I had to practically glue myself to his body to make sure that I wasn’t flying off at every turn, but I didn’t pester him on his reckless driving. We needed to get to the hospital as soon as we could. Lord knows if Angel is even going to be okay.

As soon as he parks, we both get off the bike and head straight in. It passes in such a blur. I vaguely remember him speaking to a woman who then took us upstairs. I spot Trick talking to  a man who looks to be a physician. When we approach, the doctor gives a curt nod and walks away. “They’re talking to you?” Pain questions.

Trick nods with a wink. “Yeah, I’m her husband. Why wouldn’t they tell me anything?”

That slick bastard. I smile to myself. Trick gives us an update on Angel’s condition. The doctors are hopeful that she’s going to be okay, but since she attempted to take her life she will be under a seventy-two hour psychiatric hold. They will speak to her, possibly put her on medicine and a list of other options depending on how she responds.

“This is probably the best thing that could have happened to her.” Trick says to the two of us. Pain completely misunderstands what he’s saying, and I can tell because he looks like he’s going to slam his fist into Trick’s jaw.

“I think she needed to be in a place,” I jump in. “Just for a couple days. It may help her get through the withdrawal easier. Maybe she does the drugs because of mental issues. None of us know.” I add, hoping Pain will understand where Trick and I are coming from.

“Of course it comes from mental issues. Our entire family is fucked in the head.” Chaos voice comes from behind me and I turn to him immediately. He’s been a dick the last few times I’ve seen him but the urge to run straight into his arms and hold him close takes over me. I rush to him, wrapping my arms around his body and giving him the sweetest kiss that I can. I love him so much, and I know he is hurting right now, even if he chooses to hide it. He grumbles against our kiss, “You came with him?”

“Yes. Pain was at Bubba’s when Trick told him. I don’t want to argue with you right now. It isn’t the time or the place. We need to focus on your sister.”

“Bullshit. All we ever did was focus on Angel. It was our jobs to do that, protect her cause we’re her big brothers. But you know what, Maria? You can’t protect someone who doesn’t want to be protected, not when she keeps putting herself in harms way. Fuck, she slit her wrists. She was trying to die.”

“She might have tried but she didn’t succeed.” Trick growls out, his protectiveness over Angel coming out in full effect.

Chaos hisses out at me. “I don’t give a fuck if you think I’m insensitive. I can’t believe you showed up here with him...after everything you and I have discussed.”

I can’t help it, I can’t keep holding onto this frustration and anger, to all of these emotions that are tearing me apart. I pull my hand back and slap him across the face. Tears spill behind my eyes, and all of the feelings I’ve been holding back flood to the surface. “I am yours, both of yours. I don’t belong to you. I don’t belong to him. Stop treating me like I am some object and not your damn girlfriend. You...big idiot. Do you even care about how you make me feel by treating me like this, you make me feel like a whore!” Wetness spills over my cheeks and for the first time I think that Chaos gets what I’m saying.

I think he may finally be understanding what he’s made me feel, and I think that he regrets it. I choose in this moment to not stay here for another moment longer. I dart down the nearest stairwell and do the one thing I know I have to do – clear my head.