It’s been a week and things have been pretty steady, and after the day I’ve had, the only place I want to be is at the club with Maria wrapped in my arms on the couch. I go well over the speed limit to get there, needing to be home.

As soon as I get to the club, I park my bike and dismount. I take my time getting to the door, amazed that tomorrow it’s going to be a new year. A new beginning. I only hope that it gets better and things finally start to settle down for all of us. After talking with Daisy yesterday, I feel a lot better. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still hard as fuck knowing that she wants Pain too, but it has nothing to do with me. It’s not about me at all.

I stand outside the door, scrolling through my phone and happen to hear Maria and Daisy talking on the other side.

“I just need Pain. I need him so much and I can’t explain it. He calms me down and Chaos...”

“Really?” I roar as I open the door, startling the hell out of Daisy and Maria. I don’t give a flying fuck though, not after what I’ve just heard. “Did you really just fucking say that!?”

“Say what?” Maria asks me.

“Don’t play dumb with me. I heard you say that you need Pain!”

“Okay....this is my cue to leave before I get dragged into y’alls drama.” Daisy says, and I shoot her a glare.

“No, you fuckin’ stay cause I’m gonna leave in a minute anyway. Not like I have anything to stick around for since my bitch wants my brother so damn bad, she needs him.”

“No! Now you are twisting my words around!”

“No I’m not, Maria. I just want you to know that there is nothing in this world that I regret more than ever starting anything with you. You’re the reason I’ll never be able to look at my brother the same again. That’s on you, Maria. You fucked us up, cause you wanted more then I could give you. You wanted him more then me!”

“No, you misunderstood what I was saying!! Daisy, tell him. Please tell him what I said!” She pleads, but it’s no use. I know what I heard. She fucking flat out said she needed him more then me.

Daisy starts to open her mouth but I wave my hand, signaling her to shut her mouth before she even starts. “Daisy, don’t.” I glare back at Maria, “No, I didn’t! Stop telling me that. You keep opening that damn mouth of yours and acting like it’s going to change something but it won’t. I heard you, and I think it’s the first time I’ve actually heard you! Why haven’t you told me that you needed him before, hmm? Why not?!”

“You’d better check your tone with me and her before my husband destroys you.” Daisy threatens, and I let her. I couldn’t give two fucks right now.

Tears are spilling over her cheeks, and I don’t care. I’m nothing but a void, emotionally cut off. “I tried to tell you, numerous times. I said I was your girl. That’s what I am. I belong to both of you...” She hiccups, “The last thing I ever wanted for you to feel is like I love one of you more then the other. I love you both equally. I need you both. Please!” She takes a step towards me and I take a step back, not wanting her to touch me.

I can’t let her.

I can’t keep doing this, feeling inadequate, like I’m not enough for her. Maria has made her choice. “Stay away from me. You aren’t my problem anymore. Go cry on my brother’s shoulder. You’re so damn good at it, after all.” I don’t bother waiting for her to cry more, or even to hear another word that comes out of her mouth. It’s just going to be the same old stuff. I turn around and walk right through the door I just came through.

I need some fuckin’ air.