CHAPTER 11
When Helena came to, she was dizzy and disoriented, her body feeling more than a little battered. The air was thick with the acrid smell of smoke, causing her to wheeze painfully. Blurred faces were hovering over her, but even blinking she could not call them into focus.
“Helena,” a frantic Darrin called. She felt him take her hand in his and even that small shift had her groaning.
She turned her face towards the direction of his voice, but the movement caused stars to explode behind her eyelids. She tried to open her eyes but quickly closed them again. Something was wrong with her eyes. Helena tried re-opening them, but instead of seeing faces or bodies, she could only make out swirling colors. Where Darrin should have been there was a flicker of deep forest green. Earth, she realized. She was seeing his gift. How is that possible?
Helena allowed her eyes to roam and was able to catalog where each of her friends were, without being able to discern any of their physical features. Her Circle seemed to glow more brightly than the others since their gifts were threaded liberally with a soft shimmering lavender she recognized as her own. I must be dreaming, she decided, although the overwhelming pain shooting through her body contradicted that possibility.
She felt a cool hand brush her matted hair off of her face. Helena whimpered, the touch was gentle and yet it still grated. Helena opened her mouth to try and speak but was shushed by the owner of the hand. She assumed it was Miranda who was currently trying to pump her full of healing vitality. Rather than dull the ache, the power seemed to make everything come into sharper focus. It was as if her mind had wrapped her in some sort of protective fog to alleviate the pain, but Miranda’s magic was stripping it away and forcing her to endure the full extent of her injuries.
“You need to let it go now, Kiri. You’re still trying to use your power and it is fighting you. Release it. There you go sweet child,” the kind voice murmured, punctuating each order with another soothing sweep of her hand.
Helena didn’t feel like she was using any magic, she felt entirely depleted in all honesty, but she went through the mental process anyway. She visualized pulling the tendrils of her magic back into her and then letting them flow back into her inner pool. Usually rippling and shining, it felt muddied and almost completely empty.
Fear had her gasping, but strong hands held her down.
“Be still, Helena. Please,” the strong voice was begging with no small amount of desperation. Kragen. She had scared him. What have I done? All Helena could recall were those moments she had been joined with Von. None of the corresponding moments her physical body experienced were available to her.
“Wha—” she croaked in a terrible rasp.
“We’re not entirely sure, Kiri,” Timmins murmured from close by, anticipating her question. She detected a subtle quiver of concern in his voice.
“What he means to say is that your power fucking exploded,” Serena interjected, not one to mince words. Despite their crassness, her words were spoken in a very subdued tone. If Serena was subdued, then it must be bad.
Helena blinked a few more times before her vision finally began to clear, her friends’ faces taking shape around her. Ronan stood back with Effie cowering in his arms. She was obviously terrified. Micha was white-faced and solemn, standing a little to the side of them. Nial was crouched beside Serena, not touching her, but obviously trying to bolster her with his silent support. The Circle were all touching her in some way, their hands pressed against various parts of her body. Helena let her gaze wander further, eyes trying to catalog and make sense of what she was seeing.
There was smoke everywhere. Trees to the side of the clearing were burning and the sky was a deep, angry black. In the swirling mass of clouds above them lightning flared brightly before an answering crack of thunder rolled in the distance. Helena blanched, did I do this?
From the clouds, small gray flecks were floating to the ground. It was clear that it wasn’t rain. What is that? She squinted, trying to make sense of the objects. Her eyes widened and she croaked, “Ash.”
The sky was raining ash down upon them. Peering closer she could see a dusting of the gray soot coating them all.
“For her reign shall be one of ash,” Miranda intoned. Beside her Timmins and Joquil stiffened, exchanging furtive glances before turning back towards her. “Welcome back, Helena,” Miranda continued as if she had not been quoting words of prophecy mere seconds before.
A question must have been apparent in her eyes because Darrin was quick to supply an answer, his voice filled with giddy disbelief, “Your eyes went all misty, like they do when you access your power, but this was different. You weren’t in control; it was like it overtook you. You were growling and muttering things under your breath. A storm began to rage around us, the lightning hitting a few of the trees and cracking them in half. Then you smiled vacantly, not really seeing any of us, before saying ‘My turn.’ That was when fire began to fall from the sky. It didn’t seem like there was any way we could avoid the flames, but not one of us was harmed. Finally, everything died down and you collapsed. When you woke your eyes were still swirling with that rainbow mist, but they are blue again now.”
Helena was dumbstruck by his recounting and beyond horrified to see the consequences. She had thought her magic was only being used where Von’s body was, but apparently she had pulled so much that it was unleashed around her body as well. The thought of that much power and destruction was more than she could process. Helena swallowed, her throat raw. “I saw,” she paused to drag in a ragged breath, “Von.” It was all she was able to say before her voice failed her.
Nial let out an audible gasp, while Ronan and Serena asked in unison, “Where?”
“How is that possible?” Effie whispered to no one in particular.
“Was Gillian with him?” Micha demanded, bracing himself as if for a blow.
Helena closed her eyes and dipped her chin in the semblance of a nod.
The man dropped his head and his shoulders slumped. He had been hoping that despite the story of his sister’s betrayal she had been innocent. Hearing she had been with Von was as good as declaring a notice of execution.
“Can you still feel him?” Miranda asked with calm authority from her place at Helena’s head.
Helena allowed herself a moment to seek out the thread that connected them. She plucked at it tentatively, weak with relief when she felt the solid presence at the other end. There was no answering thrum down the bond to indicate that he was conscious yet, but he was alive, and she could feel him again. It was more than she’d even thought possible after the last few months.
“Y-yes,” she rasped.
Nial’s eyes closed at the news before he slouched against the smoking remains of a tree behind him. He jumped forward with a startled yelp and rubbed his back. “Hot,” he said by way of explanation, his cheeks pinkening with embarrassment. Kragen snickered and even Timmins let out a few amused chuckles before covering them up with a polite bout of coughing. The moment of levity allowed the group to relax, notwithstanding the fact that Helena was still lying in the dirt looking very much the worse for wear. Her complexion had taken on a waxy sheen and there were large purple smudges below each of her eyes. Her cheeks were hollow, her lips cracked and bleeding, while her overall appearance was emaciated and frail. Helena’s magic had used her body to fuel its rage leaving her as little more than a shell in its wake.
Despite her ravaged body, Helena’s mind was alert and sharp. It was a frustrating contrast. Knowing that Von was alive was pushing at her to get up and keep going, but she could barely lift her hand without it shaking badly.
“You need to rest,” Miranda insisted firmly as if sensing her internal battle of wills.
“Keepers,” Helena countered.
“We aren’t far now. I am sure they will come to us given the state of things here. Besides, you are clearly not fit for travel at present.”
Helena scowled, or she tried to, as any movement at all left her wincing.
Serena stood, “Here, let me make up a tent for you.”
“I’ll help,” Effie offered, following close behind.
They had only intended to stop here for a quick break and meal. Their plan was to continue on a bit further before resting for the evening, so no formal camp had been set up. Apparently, plans had changed and they would now remain here for the foreseeable future. As much as she wanted to rush off, Helena couldn’t deny that sleep sounded wonderful. It was all she could do to keep her eyes open. They started to drift closed but an errant thought had them flying back open.
“Starshine?” she demanded.
“Your Talyrian set off once the storm started in earnest. We think that she sensed the threat and went to keep watch. We have not seen her since,” Joquil supplied in his usual matter-of-fact manner.
Helena frowned at the news, hoping she was alright. That was Helena’s last coherent thought before the world went dark.
Von couldn’t place his finger on what was different, only that something was. The mist wasn’t gone completely, but it was greatly diminished. He was reclining in a field he didn’t recognize, beneath a clear blue sky. There were no discernable landmarks nearby and he had not heard any voices since waking.
All the pain and fear were gone, in fact, it was actually peaceful. Von stretched and rose to his feet, deciding to explore. For the first time since finding himself in this place, he was curious as to what he might find. The walk was a pleasant one, the breeze keeping him cool despite the presence of the sun. He had no clear destination in mind, but he did feel a strong pull to continue following a stream he had come across.
After some time, although he could not say how long, Von saw a garden materialize on the horizon. This he recognized. Picking up his pace, Von hurried towards it. It was the Kiri’s garden from the Palace in Elysia. A smile tugged at the corner of his lips as he remembered the day Helena had unknowingly summoned him here.
He had been in the middle of a conversation with Ronan. They had been discussing their men’s rotation schedule which they had decided was necessary given the Chosen’s hostile response to their presence at the Palace. Ronan had been listing off the pairs when Von had felt a sharp tug in his chest. He’d looked down, certain that someone had a hold of him but saw nothing. Then there’d been a tickling at the edge of his consciousness. A feeling that he was needed somewhere. Then, like now, he had followed that intuition until he found Helena sitting on a bench in the garden. Her eyes had been closed and she had been smiling, her rosy cheeks giving him a pretty good idea of what she’d been thinking about.
Von blinked. As if the memory summoned her, Helena was sitting at a fountain he had not noticed. Her fingers were trailing along the surface of the water and her eyes were downcast as they watched the ripples.
Von swallowed thickly, Mother she’s beautiful. Her dark hair was pulled up off her neck, but strands had gotten loose and were falling about her face in soft curls. Her body, which he had always appreciated for its curves, was wrapped in a lilac dress that revealed more than it concealed.
Here’s a vision I don’t mind being lost in, Von thought with a leer.
He saw her freeze, her eyes lifting from the water before her body turned to face him. The aqua orbs widened when they saw him standing there. To his shock, they filled with the sheen of tears before she launched herself at him. He stumbled back slightly, his arms wrapping around her to hold her tightly against him.
“Mira?” he asked, “What’s wrong my love?”
“You’re gone,” she whimpered, her voice sounding small and lost.
Von chuckled at that, “I’m right here, Mate.”
“You’re not real,” she mumbled dejectedly, sniffling into his chest.
Von ran his hand along her back, enjoying the way she felt in his arms. Feeling inspired, he let his hands roam lower and squeezed appreciatively. His hips pressed into her and he lowered his mouth to whisper into her ear, “That feels pretty real to me, Mate.”
A shiver raced down her body and she pulled back to meet his gaze. “I must be missing you even more than usual if my dreams have taken this kind of turn,” she murmured. Her eyes had gone soft and thoughtful, but they were no longer wet with tears.
“Your dreams? Sweetheart, I’m pretty sure you’re visiting mine.” Von laughed, letting his eyes run down her body and appreciating the swell of her breasts revealed by the low cut dress.
He watched her brows furrow thoughtfully, her nose scrunching up as she considered what he said. He pressed a kiss to her nose, tilting her chin so that her eyes met his again, “Why does it matter whose dream it is, so long as we are together?”
Her eyes sparkled mischievously at the thought before she broke out into a large grin, “I suppose you’re right.”
“Do you mind saying that again?” he asked, pretending to clean out his ear. “I’m not certain I heard you correctly.”
Helena laughed and slapped his chest playfully, “You were lucky I admitted it at all.”
“I suppose that’s true. Can we take advantage of our good fortune now?” he asked, lips hovering above hers.
“If you don’t, I may have to tell everyone about how you’ve lost your skill at seduction,” she said a bit breathlessly.
Von snorted, “As if anyone would ever believe that. You should aim for a more realistic threat next time.”
Helena shrugged before closing the space between them and kissing him. Von groaned low in his throat and pulled her closer. She tasted amazing. His hands moved up her body until they were framing her face and his fingers were woven into her hair. Cradling her head between his hands, he adjusted its angle so that he could kiss her more deeply. He felt her pulse fluttering wildly against his hands as he did.
She bit his lip and then licked it sweetly before running her tongue along his; her hands roaming across his chest and pulling at his shirt until it came loose. Von pulled back somewhat, chuckling at her whimpered protest as he lifted the piece of cloth up and off.
“Why the hurry, love? Not that I’m complaining mind you,” he asked with a grin, breathing hard as he stepped back to her.
“I’m not sure how long we have, and I don’t want to wake up and not have felt you inside me again,” she panted, running her hands along the now exposed skin.
Her words left him reeling. This must be his dream indeed if his sweet but somewhat shy mate was speaking so. Not a man to take one of the Mother’s rare gifts for granted, he grabbed her about the waist and lifted her until her legs were wrapped around him. “By all means, Mate, do not let it be said that I denied you.”
She was giggling and flushed until he pressed his hips into her center and continued with the gentle rocking motions. Her eyes widened and then closed, her head lolling back as she pressed down into him.
“Like that do you?”
“I’ve missed this,” she murmured, “the way that your body fits mine so perfectly. How with just one touch from you I feel like I’m on fire.”
Von felt his head empty; the thought of teasing her and prolonging their time together disappearing completely as he sank to his knees on the grass. He maneuvered their bodies until he was on his back and she was straddled above him. Helena settled against him, causing him to harden even more.
“Take what you need, lady,” he whispered hoarsely.
Her eyes were shining as she moved to free him from his leathers. “I need you,” she professed.
“I am yours.”
“Mine,” she growled in affirmation, her eyes beginning to swirl before she closed them and captured his lips. He was thrusting helplessly into her hand as she began to work it up and down. Von moaned when she stopped until he felt her shift and start to slide her hot center along his length.
“Helena,” he groaned.
She slid down him in one long thrust. Von’s hands were clenched on her hips, holding her down while he enjoyed the sensation of being buried completely inside her. Finally. It was like coming home. Her breath hitched as she began moving above him, his own breath coming out in shallow pants as he matched her thrust for thrust, driving into her.
She increased the pace until her inner muscles began to spasm around him. Helena threw her head back yelling his name. Von came right behind her, pulling her down so he could kiss her as he emptied himself inside her.
They laid there, wrapped around each other under the sun’s warm rays, slowly coming back to themselves. She went to lift herself off him but Von protested, tightening his hold on her, “Not yet.”
Helena laughed and peppered kisses over his face. She lifted herself up slightly until she was resting her weight on his chest and looking down at him. Her fingers traced over his eyebrow and nose before moving down to his lips. He caught them in his teeth, biting down gently.
“I miss you,” she whispered brokenly.
He released her fingers with a gentle kiss before replying, “Not nearly as much as I miss you, Mate.” His gray eyes met hers solemnly and in their shared silence, she could feel all that he had endured since they had parted, knowing he was experiencing the same. They were wholly connected, hearts and minds completely in sync despite the time they had spent apart.
“I’m sorry—” she started, her voice thick with emotion, but he placed a finger against her lips and shook his head.
“You never need to apologize to me. Not for that. It was I who had wronged you, my love. More than that, I had many opportunities to come clean about what had happened—”
Now it was she who cut him off, “No, Von, please don’t. It was Gillian’s fault. She’s the one who bewitched you. Without her trickery, you never would have done anything to apologize for in the first place.”
Von gave her a lopsided smile, moving to place a curl behind her ear, “You have a kind heart, Helena, but I am not blameless here. Her magic ensnared me, yes, but it was not as if I was without memory of the incident. It was my pride that kept me from telling you what I had done. When you spoke of your trial and what you had witnessed, that was a warning for both of us. I should have told you then, but it was easier to let myself believe you’d never find out...” he trailed off.
There was a longer silence, their eyes saying what they could not. Helena kissed him, a sign of her forgiveness and love. With that kiss, another broken part of him settled back into place.
She pulled back, swirling aqua eyes meeting his as she declared fiercely, “I am coming for you. I will find you.”
“I know you will, my love. I will be ready,” he promised as he kissed her again, and pulled her back into his arms.
Helena settled against his chest, listening to the familiar thump of his heart. She smiled and pressed her lips against his skin, right over his heart. Their hearts were still beating in time, as they had been since speaking the words that bonded them to one another. It was a small detail but it brought great comfort. No matter the physical distance between them, they would always be one. She closed her eyes, still smiling softly. Eventually, they both began breathing deeply, lost once again to their individual dreams.
Helena woke up smiling. Despite the chaos that had ensued earlier that day she was more at peace than she had been in months. She no longer felt any pain from her power’s earlier outburst, which was a welcome and pleasant surprise. She shifted slightly, disrupting the soft furs that were wrapped around her. While there was no pain, her body did ache, but in a familiar and enjoyable way.
“Von,” she whispered in hushed awe, pressing her fingers to her lips which felt swollen and slightly bruised. It may have been a dream, but in her heart, she knew it had been real.
“Mate,” came the faint but fierce reply.
Helena’s closed her eyes as her shoulders began to shake, a lone tear snaking its way down her cheek. She’d done it. When she had connected with him and removed those stains, she must have gotten rid of whatever had prevented them from reaching each other through the bond. It was still a strain, neither of them at full strength, but it was a start. At the very least they should be able to communicate and that was enough, for now.
In the quiet darkness of her tent, Helena began whispering words of thanks over and over, “Mother if you are listening, thank you.”