CHAPTER 16
Days were passing quickly as the group made their way to Vyruul. Despite the number of miles that had been reduced between them, the distance Helena felt between her and her Mate didn’t seem to lessen. She was still keenly aware of his absence beside, as well as within, her. Although she couldn’t decide what she missed more: the feel of his body pressed against hers or that deep growling voice calling her Mate within the recesses of her mind.
Their bond was intact, something she checked compulsively multiple times a day. Whenever she plucked at the mental tether that bound them, she was always able to feel his flickering presence along its length; however, they had not had any meaningful contact since she had found him in her dreams. Helena was sure that it was because of his captors, although she could only guess as to what they were doing to him that interfered with his ability to access his magic. Everything she pictured only caused her fury to grow.
Helena’s rage had become a living thing always simmering just below the surface. These days a thought was enough to make it boil over and send her spiraling into the darkest recesses of her mind. Whether it was because they finally had a plan, or that they were mere days away from finding him, she couldn’t say. In either case, her need for vengeance had become all-consuming.
She had withdrawn from her Circle, choosing to visualize all the ways that she would repay Gillian’s treachery instead of making idle conversation. For a girl that had grown up in a quiet cottage, it would seem that Helena had quite the sadistic imagination. She was fairly certain this was not a discovery her mother would be proud of, although there was no question Von would approve. The thought had her lips curling in a feral smile.
Ronan picked that moment to turn to her. Whatever he saw on her face gave him pause, but after a moment he maneuvered his wolf towards her. “Kiri,” he said by way of greeting.
She lifted a brow at the formality. “Bastard,” she returned, the word thick with warmth and gentle teasing despite the iciness of her eyes. It was Von’s preferred greeting for his oldest friend, and Helena had used it intentionally, knowing Ronan would pick up on the sentimentality of its usage rather than any perceived insult.
As predicted, a smile stretched across his scarred face. “It would seem you are feeling more yourself, lady.”
“As opposed to what, exactly?” she asked mildly.
“Your body has regained the weight it lost during our time in the jungle and there are no longer shadows beneath your eyes.”
“Oh,” she said, shifting in her saddle so that her cloak draped around her more loosely. She was only a little surprised to find that he had been paying attention that closely, but it still rankled that he felt the need to comment on her weight at all. His answering grin was all teeth. The smugness of the expression had Helena rolling her eyes, “I suppose you’d like a cookie for your expert observation skills?”
“Not if you made them,” he countered.
Helena sputtered, “I will have you know I make delicious cookies, thank you very much. You would be damned lucky if I ever offered to share them with the likes of you.”
“I don’t think Von would let you share your cookies with anyone but him,” Ronan retorted dryly.
The subtle emphasis on the word had Helena studying him more closely. The satisfied look in his eyes took away all of the indignation she was feeling. “You’re provoking me on purpose,” she accused.
“It worked,” he said simply.
“Why?” she pressed.
“Because there has been a weight to your thoughts that doesn’t belong there. I have noticed it often the last few days, and its presence disturbs me. You are sunshine, Helena. There is no place for darkness in those eyes.” His words had the effect of a pail of water being dumped atop her head. They were a frank assessment, but no less effective for it.
Helena sat there, her mouth opening and closing like a gaping fish while she processed what he had said. That he had actually cared enough to intervene. Not even Darrin had nerve enough to call her out on her temper.
“Thank you,” she said softly, humbled by this man and his words. It had stunned her that he knew her well enough to know what she needed, even better than she did. And not only that but also by the way he always seemed to look after her, even when it had never been his responsibility to do so. There were those in her Circle, bound to her by life vows, who paid less attention to her subtle shifts in mood. It spoke deeply of his commitment to Von, and to her.
They shared a look that said more than either of them could verbalize. The moment hung between them, stretching until Ronan finally ended it by clearing his throat gruffly, “If you had wanted to postpone getting your Jaka because you were too scared of a little needle, you could have said so. I don’t think you needed to stage a tantrum to get out of it. That was a little much, even for you.”
Understanding was shining in her aqua eyes as she sneered playfully, “Please, I bet you cried when you got yours, you big baby.”
Ronan laughed, a deep guffaw that had the others turning in their seats to stare back at them curiously. “Ah, Hellion, that’s more like it.”
She grimaced at his use of her nickname but smiled all the same. “Does this mean that I still get my Jaka?”
Ronan nodded, “Whenever you are ready, Helena, it would be my honor.”
“Tonight?” she asked, suddenly eager to bear the mark of protection.
He lifted a brow but nodded his agreement, “Sure. Usually, it takes a couple of days to get the ceremony organized—”
“No,” she cut him off, “no ceremony. Just us.” There was no hidden meaning in the words; she simply did not want to be bared for so long in front of the others.
“Serena is more than capable of doing it, if you’d rather,” Ronan offered, his ears suddenly red.
Helena laughed, amused that her friend was having a bout of modesty at her expense. “No, you are my Commander, are you not? It should be you.”
He was pleased to hear her words, although it took a while for the color to fade from his face. “As you wish,” he said finally. They rode beside each other in companionable silence until finally breaking for camp that evening. As she dismounted Karma, Helena was pleased to realize that she had not thought of torture or blood once that afternoon.
Helena folded the simple gown she had selected, tossing it in her knapsack once she was done. Serena and Effie had helped her modify the garment so that she could undo the ties over her shoulder and peel the fabric down instead of having to remove it entirely. Serena also helped her fashion a cloth that tied around her chest so that she could retain some modesty while Ronan tattooed her. She had appreciated their help, and the sound of their soft voices as they had gossiped and laughed together that afternoon. It had given her mind something to focus on.
She was alone now, however, and the silence was overwhelming. Needing to distract herself until it was time to meet up with Ronan, Helena decided to bathe in the secluded glen not far from the campsite. While she had asked Ronan to forego the official ceremony, Helena liked the idea of cleansing herself in preparation for her Jaka. It was a sacred mark of the Mother, and receiving it while coated in sweat and dirt was highly unappealing.
Checking to make sure she was not forgetting anything, Helena allowed her eyes to scan her tent before she finally nodded and stepped out. A cool breeze greeted her and had her shivering slightly. The weather had started to turn in the last few days, the humidity of the jungle yielding to the cooler temperatures of the north. Helena had never been to Vyruul, but what she had heard about the mountainous region had her anticipating jagged peaks reaching toward the sky from a sea of ice. And if the last few days were any indication, the temperature would only continue to drop as they moved deeper into Vyruul. They were a day or two away from the border, and none of them were quite sure what to expect once they arrived.
Shaking off the thoughts of what may or may not be waiting for her in Vyruul, Helena let out the low whistle that called Starshine to her side. After a few moments of silence, the sound of beating wings filled the sky. She looked up, smiling when she saw the Talyrian flying towards her.
Starshine landed with a soft huff, smoke flaring out from her nose, her turquoise eyes luminous.
“Hi girl,” Helena said softly, lifting her hand to brush the velvety snout in greeting. A deep rumble started in the Talyrian’s chest, causing the ground to tremble slightly.
Helena snickered as she began to scratch behind the large cat’s ear, “Feel good?”
Starshine closed her eyes in response and began to purr louder.
After a few moments of indulging Starshine, Helena gave her a final pat and asked, “Keep me company for a while?”
Starshine huffed her assent and nudged Helena with her massive head, pushing her in the direction of the pool. She stumbled slightly and laughed over her shoulder, “In a hurry all of a sudden?”
The Talyrian didn’t justify the question with a response, which only amused her further. “So what have you been up to, lady?” she asked aloud, not expecting a response but enjoying the playful banter regardless. A turquoise eye rolled towards her and then away as a small jet of flame lit up the darkening sky.
“Killing things?” she guessed, only half joking.
Starshine snorted.
“Hunt, kill, same difference,” Helena amended, laughing at the absurdity of carrying on a one-sided conversation.
Starshine shook her head, seeming to disagree with Helena’s assessment. The silvery mane shone brightly as she did.
“Did you have a Mr. Starshine to keep you company? A he-cat to help you pounce on unsuspecting bunnies? Or to pounce on you?” she teased while mimicking a cat pounce.
Starshine stopped her slow prowl and just looked at Helena without blinking. The Talyrian queen was clearly not impressed with Helena’s pouncing skills.
“I’m sorry, were you the one pouncing on him?” Helena asked deadpan, blinking up with wide innocent eyes at Starshine. The Talyrian stared steadily back, unmoving. “Were you off pouncing with multiple Mr. Starshines?” she pressed, enjoying herself entirely too much as she barely held back her laughter.
The Talyrian seemed to sigh, resigned to her mistress’s baiting, and let out another deep huff before she started walking again. A large plume of smoke curled up in the air and was floating behind her as she moved through the trees.
Helena waited a moment and then started after her, “What, too personal?”
Starshine let out a low growl, which only caused Helena to break out into happy peals of laughter. “It’s not like you don’t make your opinions clear about my mate. I only thought it fair to inquire about your own…” Helena trailed off searching for the right word, “companion.” She had finally caught back up to Starshine who paused only long enough to lift her giant paw and swat at Helena.
The duo had just reached the small clearing beside the shallow pool when the sound of splashing greeted them.
Starshine’s teeth bared in a warning growl, while Helena reached for the hunting knife she had strapped to her thigh. They took a cautious step forward, all amusement fleeing in the wake of a potential threat.
The sound of a girl’s high-pitched giggle had her freezing in place. Two more steps confirmed what her ears had already recognized. It was Effie, splashing in the water. Helena felt her shoulders relax and was just about to call out a greeting when another person came into view. Darrin.
“Well isn’t that a surprise,” she murmured to her feline friend, not sure what to think about the couple currently splashing around in the water.
Starshine moved her head in the semblance of a nod.
“I guess you aren’t the only one that goes off to pounce with a tom,” Helena mused.
Starshine growled softly, but there was no temper in the sound.
A pang in her chest kept Helena from announcing her presence. She didn’t want to interrupt them and rob them of the moment they were having. Effie’s face was flushed with color, as she laughed and tried to run away from Darrin who was pursuing her. Her blonde hair was hanging down her back in a golden stream, her blue gown clinging to her curves in a way that Darrin was helpless to ignore. She watched the way his eyes trailed down Effie’s body before reluctantly dragging back up to her face, his own eyes bright with predatory interest.
With a lunge, Darrin wrapped his arms around Effie’s waist and pulled her down into the water. She popped up, sputtering and pushing her wet hair out of her eyes. As she rose, she was face to face with Darrin, barely any space between them. Their laughter slowly died as they stared at each other as if finally seeing each other for the first time. The smile fell from her face, and Helena could see Effie’s chest frantically rising and falling with her shallow breaths. Darrin stared down at her, his green eyes intense as he lifted a hand to brush stray drops of water from her cheek.
Helena felt her breath hitch, suddenly uncomfortable with bearing witness to such an intimate moment. “Come on, girl,” she said under her breath, nudging Starshine as she started walking away from the couple in the water, “let’s go down a bit further.”
Her movements felt leaden as she walked, and Helena told herself firmly it was just the long journey and not jealousy that weighed each step down. Too bad she wasn’t buying it. It wasn’t a longing for Darrin that made her heart heavy, but the simple fact that she wasn’t the one experiencing that stolen moment of sweetness with her Mate, that she had experienced so few stolen moments with him before he was taken from her. She could feel the ripple of magic that rose in response to her anger at the reminder. The sudden tidal wave of emotion caused her face to flush as her thoughts turned again to the red-headed girl who was responsible for her current lack of moments. Gillian, Helena snarled softly.
Sensing her rapidly diminishing mood, Starshine headbutted Helena to pull her attention away from her thoughts. Unfortunately, the move had the unintended side effect of sending Helena flying into the water, arms flailing wildly. At least, she thought it was unintended. When she popped back up out of the icy water, Starshine sat at the banks, licking her paw while her tail twitched behind her. If she didn’t know better, she would have sworn the Talyrian was laughing at her.