CHAPTER 3
Helena curled up in an armchair; her body and mind were so fatigued she could do little more than sit there while she half-listened to the men speaking around her. Things had been progressing, at least on the trade front. The merchants she’d brought with her from Elysia had made the connections necessary to establish new trade lines and set up shops in the central market. As for the rest of them, their new mission was less about diplomacy and more about rescue.
They had gathered in the library to discuss their next steps, but Helena couldn’t find the energy to participate in the conversation. Her Circle had been relentless as they chased down leads that might take them to Von. Time and time again they returned empty-handed. The problem was that there was simply no trace of Gillian or Von; they had literally vanished from the camp, leaving no trail for the others to follow.
Kragen and Ronan had taken charge of the Holbrooke’s garrison, sending riders off in every direction to see if anyone had seen them, but Helena knew it was futile. After learning of the Kaelpas stones and how they could instantaneously transport one or more people across the realm, she knew it wouldn’t be as simple as searching a nearby town. No, this would require smoking the she-rat out of her hidey hole. If only there was someone that could at least point us in the right direction, she thought desperately.
“What if we send for Micha?” Kragen suggested in his deep rumble.
Helena’s ears perked up at the question. “You think he might know where his sister went?” she asked from her chair. The men spun towards her, seeming to have forgotten she had been sitting there.
“It’s a possibility worth considering, Kiri. They are twins and share a linked history. It seems unlikely they would have many secrets between them,” Kragen responded.
Helena chewed on her bottom lip, thinking about the playful man who had been one of her first friends in the Capital, as well as one of her suitors. “Could he have been part of it?” she asked no one in particular.
“I highly doubt Gillian was acting alone, although I’m not certain Micha is involved,” Timmins answered thoughtfully.
“At the very least, he should be informed of his sister’s actions. His reaction to the information could be highly illuminating. If his friendship with Helena is genuine, perhaps he would be willing to help us locate his sister,” Darrin added.
“You mean turn against her,” Helena clarified dryly, her tone indicating the likelihood of that possibility.
“I don’t hear you coming up with any ideas,” he muttered darkly as his arms crossed his chest.
She lifted a brow at his insolence but left the comment unchallenged. There was a creak as the door to the library opened, Effie stepping in with a tray loaded with fruit, cheese and a selection of dried meats.
“I thought you all might like a snack,” she said by way of explanation, setting the tray upon the table.
“Thank you, Effie. It was very kind of you to think of us,” Helena said, making no move towards the food. The others all stepped eagerly to the table, loading up plates with their treats until the tray was almost bare.
“Would you like me to make you a plate, Kiri?” Effie asked, her voice a gentle chastisement for the men who had not thought to leave anything for Helena. For all that she tried to remain unobtrusive, the girl’s pointed words brought the men to a halt.
Helena’s eyes twinkled with laughter as they paused in their eating to look comically from their plates to her empty hands. Darrin’s ears turned bright red and he quickly offered his plate to her. Kragen, Helena noted, merely shoved another piece of cheese into his mouth and winked.
“Nice try,” she said sarcastically, rolling her eyes at Darrin before looking back at the maid and shaking her head, “Thank you, Effie, but I’m fine.”
“You missed the afternoon meal while you were with Lord Nial,” she countered. Again, while delicately delivered, her reproach was a direct hit.
Helena laughed, “I much prefer when you are focused on the others.”
The girl’s lips pursed with laughter, but she knew she had made her point and felt no need to comment further.
Helena let out a deep sigh, relenting, “Fine, a little something to eat would be most welcome.”
“How is it that she can boss you around, but we cannot?” Darrin asked in annoyed disbelief, watching Helena accept her plate.
“Because I like her more than you,” Helena teased.
Effie blushed at the compliment and moved to start clearing off the table.
Kragen cuffed Darrin on the back of his head, “Rein in your pride, Shield. It doesn’t matter who gives her food, just be happy she’s eating and stop asking stupid questions.”
“Especially when she spent most of the day channeling a great deal of power,” Joquil added sagely, as he crunched neatly on a cracker.
Helena shook her head as she bit into a piece of cheese, its tangy flavor making her stomach growl in approval. Effie smirked at the sound.
“Are you certain you aren’t gifted with Spirit, Effie? It seems like you are a bit of a mind reader,” Helena joked before taking another small bite.
Effie shook her head, blonde curls dancing as she did, “No, Kiri, simply observant. I am ungifted, but I grew up listening to my Gran tell me stories about the Masters of Prophecy.”
The girl’s words unlocked a memory in Helena’s mind. She looked up at Timmins, her brows furrowing as she recalled his story about her prophecy. “Timmins, that night around the campfire you said that the prophesied one would be born to an ungifted woman and would be marked with the sign of the Mother—”
“That’s not the way my Gran told it,” Effie interjected, Helena’s attention making her more confident than usual.
“What do you mean?” Timmins asked looking sharply at the maid. Helena could see that he did not appreciate being told by a mere slip of a girl that he had gotten his facts wrong.
Effie’s eyes rounded as she turned towards the Advisor, “I didn’t mean…”
Timmins waved her off, “What did your Gran say?” His question was more demand than inquiry.
“Well… Gran always said that there was much the Chosen had forgotten about the Mother and her Mate and that... that the prophecy regarding the Mother of Shadows was a warning,” the girl finished tentatively.
All four men were looking at her unblinkingly, Effie’s shoulders rolling in as she tried to make herself smaller under the joint scrutiny. She turned beseeching blue eyes to Helena, looking ready to bolt.
Helena’s face was filled with understanding as she encouraged in a soft voice, “Please continue, Effie.”
Swallowing audibly, the girl tried to muster her courage before beginning again, “Well, the prophecy was about two queens marked by the Mother, but it never referred to a physical marking. They would be twins of her gift, but not of her power. The first of them would be known as the Corruptor, the one who would be filled with resentment at what the Mother did not give her. She would corrupt her gift to gain greater ability. The second would be known as the Vessel, the one blessed to be a true recipient of the Mother’s power. Upon learning of the Vessel, the Corruptor would seek to destroy her, seeing her as the ultimate sign of the Mother’s rejection. With each act, her corruption would pull her further away from the Mother’s gift, meaning that she will never be able to truly comprehend the full price of her actions.”
Effie licked her lips, her quavering voice gaining strength as she continued, “The Vessel, responding to the threat, would stop at nothing to protect those she safeguarded. But her power would be raw, still untested, and if left unbound it would be her and the Chosen’s undoing. The Mother’s gift always comes with a price and that price demands balance; just as the Mother had her Mate so too would the Vessel. He would carry the other half of her soul, holding a part of her power within himself as it would be too much for her to contain on her own. If for any reason, the bond never fully matured between the Vessel and her Mate, the Vessel would undergo the Fracturing, so called because her mind would shatter and she would be lost to the madness of her magic. Once Fractured she would unleash the full extent of the Mother’s power on the Chosen without knowledge or understanding of what she did. She would become a Mother of Shadows, as much a slave to her magic as all those that served her.”
There was no sound in the library as the girl finished her retelling, save Helena’s shallow gasps of breath. Out of everything she had just heard, the reason for the Corruptor’s betrayal stood out in sharp relief; she hadn’t found her Mate. Sensing Helena’s panic before the suitors had declared themselves, Timmins had assured her that a Mate had always been found. Had he lied?
She turned her bewildered aqua eyes to Timmins who appeared to shrink under the unasked question. Embarrassment colored his cheeks and he sheepishly shrugged his shoulders. He knew what had caught her attention and felt guilty for having been found out. Helena scowled at the realization. What other little white lies had he fed her in the name of keeping her calm?
Joquil spoke before she could give voice to the accusation. “But we checked; when Helena was born she had the Mother’s star on the base of her skull…” Joquil trailed off.
Timmins tore his eyes from her and picked up the question where Joquil left off, “If the prophecy does not refer to a physical marking, then how are we to know who it refers to?”
“By the bonding of the Vessel to her Mate,” Effie said, seeming surprised that they did not know this. “While Chosen can find their mates, such a bond is nowhere near as strong as that of a Kiri and her Mate, and even that connection pales in comparison to the bond that the Vessel will forge with her Mate. They will know true fusion, their powers feeding and growing with one another until they achieve a total binding, their souls forever entwined and strengthened by the other. Neither will die so long as the other still breathes. They will take their final breaths together, returning to the Mother as one. That is, of course, if they complete the binding. If the bond is rejected, or simply does not achieve its completion, both will be at the mercy of the Fracturing.”
The words of the explanation crashed into Helena as their true meaning crystalized and began to shriek within her mind. “The Trial of the Kiri,” she whispered, blanching. If what the girl said was true, her and Von’s separation was more serious than any of them realized.
“If what you say is true,” Timmins question mirroring Helena’s thoughts, “why is there no mention of this in any of the histories that have been passed down from Circle to Circle?”
Effie shrugged, “I was simply telling you the story that my Gran told me when I was young. She always said that no one knew what the prophecy really meant, or when it would come into being. So long as a Damaskiri never allowed herself to be fully corrupted, there would never be a reason for the Vessel to rise. Everything would be contingent upon that final choice.”
“So what of the Corruptor, how are we to know who the prophecy speaks of without the marks to rely on?” Darrin interjected.
Effie raised a brow and pressed her lips together, as though trying to hide a smile, before stating, “I am not sure, but I suppose it would be obvious, given the prophecy’s warning of her betrayal.”
Darrin scowled at her logic and turned away from the group while the men shared disturbed glances. Eventually, Kragen’s deep voice asked, “Is your Gran still here, child?”
Effie shook her head, “No, sir. My Gran left a few years ago to live with her friends in the Baelian Forest.”
Kragen brows rose in surprise, “She went to Bael? Do the tribes still live amongst the jungle beasts there?”
“I do not know, sir. I’ve never been. She did leave me instructions on how to reach her, if I ever had need to. Should I…” she looked around before finishing her question, “Should I try to reach her?”
“I think it would be very wise for us to speak with this Gran of yours, and perhaps with those friends of hers as well, especially if they are who I am starting to believe they might be,” Joquil answered.
“And what of Micha?” Darrin asked, facing the group again.
“Send for him,” Kragen said. “He could still be useful in determining where his sister is hiding. In the meantime, Effie, you will write to your Gran and see if we might be able to visit her.”
Effie nodded moving to do so at once. Before she reached the door, she stopped, pausing in front of Helena, “I’m sorry, Kiri. I did not know my words would upset you so.”
Helena reached out a hand and placed it gently on the girl’s arm. “There’s no reason to apologize, Effie. You might have very well given us a piece of the puzzle we so desperately needed.”
Smiling with relief, she fled from the room. Helena looked up at her Circle after the door closed.
“This changes everything,” Joquil declared.
“This changes nothing,” Helena countered.
“How can you possibly say that?” Darrin challenged, his green eyes narrowing.
She lifted a hand to silence him, “Our mission has not changed. Finding Von is still our priority. It is perhaps even more crucial now than before because if her story is true… well, you heard her. If we are not able to complete our binding, it would be the end of us all.”
The men were grim as they stared at her. Closing her eyes, she begged, Please, dear Mother, please let me find him in time.
It was late when Effie opened the door to Helena’s room. She noted the hearth and the fire that had turned to smoldering embers with a flicker of concern. Using that as an excuse, she stepped inside, turning to close the heavy door with a soft click. That complete, she let herself take a few more tentative steps, scanning the dim room as she did. Still, she did not see Helena.
Effie had just opened her mouth to call out her name when she noticed the figure half hidden behind the heavy curtains. Helena was staring out the window, the moon illuminating her with its blue glow, her eyes unblinking as they stared out into the night.
“Is everything all right, Kiri?” Effie asked in a whisper-soft voice. Helena turned her head slowly, eyes blinking owlishly as she tried to place the girl’s face. It took a moment for clarity to arrive.
She smiled sheepishly, her eyes sad as she asked, “Have you ever had a night where you had to stay awake to greet the dawn?” She turned her face back towards the sky as she continued, “A night where you could no longer be certain about the promise of a rising sun?” Helena sighed before adding even more quietly, “A night that felt so long and you felt so helpless, that you actually needed the safety of the sunlight, just to help you believe that all was not lost?” Despite the grief etched in every word, her voice was hollow, as though she was consciously trying to keep her emotions at bay.
The maid’s lips turned down in an empathetic frown as she processed the questions. “I don’t know if I have ever quite felt that hopeless, Kiri, but I’ve never lost someone who I cared about in the way that you have. For what it’s worth, I’m sure that wherever he is, Von’s out there looking up at the sky wishing he was here with you too.”
Helena’s answering smile was wistful.
“Are you sure there isn’t anything I can get you?” the girl asked, desperate to wipe the despondency out of those aqua eyes. She had only known the Kiri a short time, but it was impossible not to feel her own heart breaking, just a little, as she watched her fight to hold onto her hope as another day passed without word of her Mate.
Helena shook her head, “No, thank you. I’m just going to stay here and stargaze awhile longer. It was sweet of you to come up and check on me, Effie.”
The girl nodded, still frowning as she walked out of the dim room.
Helena felt a little of the tension ebb when she heard the door click shut. The mask she had been wearing these last couple of days was hard to maintain. She had stopped her nightly vigils by the fountain and had ensured that she made it to every meal on time. She had even made a conscious effort to get to know Von’s family. Helena was trying, she really was, but the empty space in her mind where Von’s voice used to be was cutting more deeply each day.
She had never felt this kind of loneliness before, not even after her mother had passed away. There had been a time when she had been little and Miriam had traveled to a neighboring village to help a new mother with the birth of her first child. Helena had been distraught, too young to understand why her mother was leaving her. It had been the first time they had ever been separated and she had been inconsolable, crying for hours after Miriam left.
Once the sun had gone down, Helena had gotten it into her head that she was going to go find her. Anderson caught her running down the dirt road just as the sun had set in the sky. After asking where she thought she was going, Anderson had sat her on his knee and solemnly pointed at the sky.
“Do you see that star, little bug?” he asked.
Helena had wiped dirt-smeared hands across her wet cheeks and nodded slowly as she continued to sniffle.
“That’s the Mother’s star. You can see it from wherever you are in Tigaera. Do you know what that means?”
Helena shook her head, her tears slowing as curiosity took over.
“That means that the Great Mother is watchin’ over your Mama right now. So you don’t need to feel lonely, little bug. So long as the Great Mother has her in her sights, your Mama ain’t far at all. She’ll be tuckin’ you in right and proper again soon, but for now, you’ll keep old Anderson company until she gets home. Is that okay with you?” he asked in that same grave tone, peering into her tear-stained face with his kind green eyes.
Helena sniffed back the last of the tears, “Doesn’t Darrin take care of you, Papa Anderson?”
Anderson winked at her and ruffled his hand through her tangled curls, “You keep tellin’ him that, little bug. You just keep on tellin’ him that.”
Helena covered her mouth as she giggled into her small hand.
“There now, there’s my girl. I missed that pretty smile.”
Helena grinned up at him, beaming with the full glory of her newly gap-toothed smile.
“When you smile at me like that, little bug, you’re like my own personal ball of sunshine.”
Helena threw her arms around his neck and squeezed with all the strength in her six-year-old body, tears long forgotten.
Anderson stood with her slight weight in his arms, pretending to stagger as he groaned with mock strain. “My little bug has been growing again. Pretty soon you’ll be a real lady and you won’t want to come hear my stories anymore.”
“Don’t be silly, Papa! You have the best stories,” Helena assured him as he started walking towards his small cottage. “Will you tell me the one about the lost Kiri?”
“Again?” Anderson asked, feigning surprise.
“Please Papa Anderson!” she begged, “It’s my favorite!”
He pretended to consider it, thick gray brows furrowing, “Well, alright, if you insist little bug. Can you help me remember how it starts?” Helena enthusiastically began to recount the story as Anderson carried her back inside, his low voice eventually joining in with hers.
It was not lost on Helena that the story she had so loved to hear when she had been younger had ended up being about her. But as with many things looked upon with age-wizened eyes, she no longer felt the same when recalling that story. There was no flutter of delight when thinking about where the lost Kiri could be, nor about the idea of the Mother’s star.
As much as she wished that the Mother was watching over Von, she knew that he wasn’t out there staring up at a star in the night sky thinking of her doing the same. No, Helena was certain that wherever Von was he was definitely not looking at stars. If he was, she would be able to feel him instead of the bottomless silence that had taken up residence inside her, taken up residence in the space that had been his and his alone. Wherever he was, if Von had been able to contact her he would have done so by now, which meant that something must be preventing him from doing so. If that was the case, Helena was going to need a not so small miracle in order to find him.
So she stood there, head pressed against the cool stone as she stared out into the night sky, praying that the Mother would grant her another day and another chance at finding some answers.