“My queen.”
Waking felt the way a chick in a shell must; there was a world outside I was aware of, but I saw only darkness until I could pierce through.
“My queen.” Zeph’s voice helped.
I blinked, and the world was moving sideways. It took me a moment to realize he was carrying me, and we were moving, but the effect on my stomach was the same. “Please, put me down,” I begged him, and he obeyed.
Falling to my knees, I vomited into grass on the side of the road. Adria caught my hair and twisted it away, and I saw her pale, tearstained face.
We were close to the beginning of the Royal Causeway. I tried to stand, but my stomach wrenched again and I fell down, vomiting and shaking. When I was done, I leaned against her, and to my shock, she put her arms around me.
“My queen—” Zeph said, not finishing his sentence.
I nodded, using his hand to struggle to my feet. “Yes. Where’s Theron?”
“He didn’t come back,” Zeph told me. My breath caught. “Yet, my queen. We must get you to the castle.”
“Only if you go back to look for him the second we arrive,” I said.
“I can’t leave you unattended, my lady.”
“For Theron, you can,” I told him.
“Let’s get you back, and we’ll discuss it. May I carry you?” he asked.
Shaking my head, I walked, Adria to one side and Zeph to the other. I felt dizzy, though, and incredibly weak, and within a few steps Zeph picked me up anyway and started striding so fast Adria nearly had to run to keep up. For once, she didn’t complain.
The closed gates opened for us and snapped shut behind us again. Adria stopped in the courtyard, but Zeph kept on going, walking fast to my chambers. He shouted for someone to fetch Kairos. “There are few men I trust to watch over you,” he said. “Your brother is certainly one.”
With a sigh, I nodded, and in moments I was back in my room, laid upon my bed. A fleet of ishru came in, wetting cloths in cool water and wiping my face and neck and hands. Zeph turned away as they opened my robes to check if I was cut or bleeding.
They covered me up, and moments later Kairos arrived, rushing to me. I heard Osmost shrieking outside. “Go,” Kairos told Zeph. “I know why you called me.”
Zeph nodded sharply and left, and Kairos sat on the bed, taking my hand.
The moment the door closed I gripped it. “Kai, Rian—Rian was there; you have to make sure he’s not hurt!”
He shook his head. “No. Not now. I have to stay right here with you and watch over my niece since you’re clearly not thinking of her.”
I put my free hand on my stomach, staring at the ceiling, trying to breathe evenly. “We were caught in some kind of skirmish, and Zeph pulled us to the side.” Kairos squeezed my hand, and it made my mouth tremble. “They killed so many people, Kai,” I whispered. “There was so much blood—and then Rian—Rian was just—and they were going to—”
I couldn’t take a deep breath, couldn’t breathe properly at all, and Kairos pulled me up, sliding me closer and hugging me tight. He rubbed my back and held me, whispering to me. “Hush, sister. Hush, you can’t upset yourself like this. You have to calm down and protect that sweet girl in there,” he told me.
Hiccuping and taking a stunted breath, I asked, “You think my child’s a girl?”
He nodded against my head. “A tiny little princess.”
“Is this a sense, or are you making this up?” I asked him.
“A little of both,” he said, and I heard the smile in his voice.
“I used my power,” I whispered to him. “I didn’t mean to. Someone was going to kill Rian, and it just … happened.”
He pulled back a little, meeting my eyes, dark and serious. “Don’t ever tell anyone that, Shy.”
“I know.”
“No,” he said, shaking his head. “You don’t. Something isn’t right. Something awful is going to happen, and I can’t see it. But I feel like your husband will do it, and I feel like you will pay the price. And whatever it is, it’s … awful. Unimaginable.”
Shivers of cold ran over me. “What kind of awful?”
“I don’t know,” he said, his mouth tilting up. “ ‘Unimaginable’ means I can’t quite picture it.”
I touched my head to his, wishing he could share the vision—or feeling, or sense, or whatever it was—with me. “We’ll be all right, Kai. We’re together. We’ll be fine.”
He hugged me tight. “I hope so, Shy.”
I drifted off after a while, gripping Kairos’s hand in mine, and I woke when he tried to pry it away. “I’m not going anywhere,” he snapped, but the words weren’t for me, and my heart sped up.
Sitting up quickly, I felt dizzy but still stood from the bed. There were soldiers in the bedroom, and Calix was with them, and Zeph and Theron were nowhere to be seen.
“Seize him, then,” Calix ordered the soldiers, and I grabbed Kai’s arm as the men in black uniforms came toward us.
“Calix, no, what are you doing?” I screamed. They grabbed Kai, but they wouldn’t touch me, wouldn’t separate us.
Calix stormed up to us and pried my hands off him until I cried out, pushing me back so I stumbled and fell.
“Don’t touch her!” Kairos roared, throwing off one of his captors and punching another.
They cracked a sword hilt over his head. “No!” I shrieked, struggling to my feet. “What are you doing?”
I tried to run past Calix, but he raised his arm and cracked the back of his hand squarely across my face. The blow was blinding, so hard and fast that I was on the floor without remembering how I got there, pain bursting over and over in my face. Blood dripped onto the floor, and I wasn’t sure where it was from.
Everything had stopped. The only thing I could hear was Calix, breathing hard, his face in a snarl as he looked down at me. Kairos had stopped fighting, but he had murder in his eyes, staring at my husband.
“You disloyal desert bitch,” Calix spat. “You know what we found when we chased down the information we collected? Rian d’Dragyn. Little wonder you didn’t want me to act on it. You thought you could trick me?” he growled. He stared at me, cowering at his feet, and then turned to look at Kairos. “You and Kairos must have been in league with Rian this entire time. Going behind my back, feeding him information—you both will tell me everything you know of the Resistance. Take him and question him,” he ordered.
“Make no mistake,” Kairos said, his voice a dark and deadly snarl. “I will repay every wrong you inflict on my sister. I am a Dragon of the desert, and nothing will slake my thirst for vengeance.”
“I’m fine, Kairos,” I lied, shaking to say it. “I’m fine. Please just go with them.”
Kairos didn’t even acknowledge my words, and they pushed him out of my chamber.
Calix paced, and I shifted slowly to curl against the wall, still huddled on the ground. “You saw him,” he accused. “You had to know he was here.”
I shook my head. “You promised me,” I told him. “You promised me you wouldn’t hurt our people. You were executing them in the streets.”
“I lied,” he said. “And I’m glad I did. Now we will see what else you’re deceiving me about,” he said, grabbing my chin and forcing me to look at him.
I pulled away from him, shrinking in a tight ball, protecting my head with my knees.
“Have you lost your mind?”
Danae’s voice was clear, and I knew it was her, but I didn’t raise my head.
“Her brother—” Calix started.
“Did you hit her?” Danae asked, and the voice sounded closer. “You struck the mother of your child? Your wife?”
“She betrayed me!” he roared, and I recoiled, curling tighter. “Rian is in the city—she had to have known about it! She’s been helping him all this time. For all I know she’s lying about the child too! To manipulate me!”
“Three hells,” Danae snapped. “Rian d’Dragyn has been in the city since Father died. She had nothing to do with his being here, and it doesn’t sound like you have any proof that she’s helping him with anything. She isn’t lying, and she isn’t deceiving you.”
There was a long pause. “I want Rian d’Dragyn dead.”
I raised my head at this, but Calix wasn’t looking at me. He was looking at Danae. Issuing the order.
“Then it will be done.” She looked at me. “But you let your temper get the better of you, Calix, and you could have killed your wife and child. And you’re wrong. I will kill him only when you find a way to make this right with your wife.”
“Kai-Kairos,” I stammered, looking at her.
Danae frowned. “Kairos? Is he all right?”
“My men are questioning him. Which they will continue to do,” Calix snapped. “He may still know something.”
“I will stop them, Shalia,” she told me.
I nodded, and Calix turned toward me. I cringed.
He sighed. “I was wrong,” he said. “Get up.”
“Leave,” I told him, staring at my knees.
“Shalia,” he said, coming closer.
“Please,” I said, huddled against the wall, shutting my eyes and wishing it would change what I found when I opened them. “Please leave.”
I knew he was angry, but I didn’t care. I didn’t look up or move, either, so I suppose that belied my bravery.
“Go,” Danae said. “You release her brother, and I will take care of her.”
I jumped when I heard the door shut. I felt her shadow on me and heard her moving nearby, but I didn’t look up until I felt her hand touch my foot.
She was sitting in front of me on the ground, leaning against the wall in the same way I was, reaching out to me. She sighed when I looked up, then stood, getting one of the damp cloths the ishru had left. She knelt down, touching the cloth to my face, and I winced. It came away bloody, and I stared at it.
“There’s a cut on your cheek,” she said softly. “And it looks like your mouth was bleeding a little too.”
She cleaned it, slowly and gently, and I just looked at her, silent.
“You’re younger than me—did you know that?” she asked. I shook my head a tiny bit. She nodded. “By more than a year. It’s strange. You seem so wise, you know. You’re very self-possessed. Strong. And I thought, when he married you, that the better parts of him would prevail.” She sighed, rocking back.
“This doesn’t surprise you,” I said.
“Calix can be very cruel,” she told me, lifting her shoulder and not looking at me. “But he can also be protective, and sweet, and loving, when he’s not so very afraid.”
My eyes shut as my head throbbed. “Will you really kill Rian?” I asked.
She put down the cloth, and the pounding pain in my cheek seemed to get worse. “That’s what I do, Shalia. Calix tells me to kill someone, and I do. I don’t stop until they’re dead.”
Anger made me glare at her. “You have a choice. You don’t have to do what he says. Danae, don’t do what he says,” I told her. “Please.”
She sighed. “Calix never wanted this for me, you know,” she said. “I just—after my parents died, there were many attempts on us, particularly on me because I was very young and weak then. It got to the point that I was frightened to go places alone. I thought I was being followed. And then someone poisoned us all, and I almost died. I was sent to live in safety, away from court.” She leaned against the wall again, watching me. “And I didn’t want to be helpless. I wanted to be more than a rabbit in a snare.”
I pressed the cloth to my lip, trying to be calm, trying not to notice the blood building up on the white cloth. “He doesn’t deserve your devotion,” I told her bitterly.
“He does,” she said. “Maybe he doesn’t deserve yours, but he deserves mine.” She looked away from me. “And I don’t want to know of a day when he doesn’t, because I won’t be welcome here. I won’t be welcome anywhere in the Trifectate,” she told me. “So I have to be useful. But with any luck, Rian’s left the city already.”
“If Calix accepted you as you are, everyone else would,” I said.
She gave a dry, sad laugh. “Calix doesn’t mind that I’m a spy, or an assassin, or whatever else I must be to serve the God. But he’ll never forgive finding me kissing another girl when I was thirteen,” she told me, shaking her head. “That’s too much to ask.”
“He loves you,” I said. “Why would he care who you kiss?”
Her stare was flat, defiant. “The girl was found below the cliffs the next morning, so I think he cares.” She shrugged, and I could only imagine how painful the memory was for her. “You don’t seem shocked. Is such a thing common in the desert?”
I pulled the cloth away, dabbing at my cheek again and looking at it. More red, new patterns. “There’s a different ceremony if you choose someone of your own sex. Because you can’t have children of your own, you can choose a clan and travel with them. It’s not common, but it’s not strange.”
Danae was quiet for many long moments. “In the Trifectate, people like me are meant to be sacrificed to the Three-Faced God. Like the Elementae.”
I reached forward and took her hand. She squeezed mine tight.
“Is it throbbing?” she asked, looking at my cheek.
I nodded. “I can’t stay here, Danae.” Tears pushed up behind my eyes, and the pressure made the pain worse. “I can’t be here.”
She met my eyes, full of warning. “You can’t leave, Shalia.”
Pulling my hand from hers, I shook my head. “Please. I have to. I can’t stay here. Not right now. The tour—why can’t I just go to a city now and wave a bit or whatever it is he wishes me to do?”
“They’ll see the bruise, Shalia. As bad as things are, they’ll be worse if people know that Calix hit you.”
A shiver racked my body thinking of Kairos’s words. “Will you find Kairos? I don’t believe Calix that they’ll release him.”
“Yes. But, Shalia, you can’t—”
“The rebels,” I told her. “He can use me as part of his ridiculous reasoning to tear his people apart. Tell them I was injured by the rebels. But I will leave in the morning.”
She stood with a sigh. “Well, he’ll agree to that.”
“I don’t give a damn if he agrees,” I told her. She extended a hand to help me up, but I shook my head.
She held out her palm for a moment longer, and let it drop. “I know. But, Shalia, if you leave him, if you go to the desert, ‘cruel’ will not begin to describe the things he will do to your people.”
I shuddered. “Yes, I know.” She walked to the door, and I watched her. “Danae,” I said, and she stopped. “Thank you. For your help, and your honesty. I appreciate both more than you know.”
She met my gaze. “I trust you, Shalia. And that’s not a simple thing in this court.”
She left, and I stayed frozen.