I WASN’T SURE if what I was hearing was a memory playing out in my dream, or if it was actually happening, but as the fog of sleep cleared and I woke up, the house was silent.

Ollie lay sleeping on his side facing me, and I smiled as I watched him breathe, his expression so peaceful. One of his arms was curled beneath his pillow, and the other lay on the bed between us, almost like he’d been reaching out for me.

It had been a full day of reconnecting since I’d shown up on his doorstep in the early hours of the morning, and even though my body ached to feel him against me once more, we could both use a few hours of rest. Or he could. I was too busy thinking of the song I’d played earlier, the same one from my dream just now, and I quietly slid out of the bed, threw on my shorts, and closed the door behind me so I wouldn’t wake him up. I’d told him the song reminded me of the way he made me feel. Like coming home. Never was that truer than the way I’d felt in the last twenty-four hours wrapped up in him.

When I got to the kitchen, the sight that greeted me made me chuckle. Ollie’s jeans were still in a heap on the floor by the piano, which sent a thrill of excitement through me as I recalled them coming off in the heat of the moment. I folded them and placed them on top of the counter, only to see his wallet and keys still strewn across the tile. Nothing else seemed to have fallen out, so I picked them both up, and when I did, a folded-up slip of paper fell out of his wallet. It was so wrinkled and thin, like it’d been opened too many times, that it unfolded as it hit the floor. I frowned as I reached for it, taken aback to see my own handwriting on the torn-off page.

It was a letter to Ollie. And as I read it, all of the worry and fear from that day came rushing back with startling clarity, and I collapsed to my knees.

“Can I have a pen and some paper? Hurry, please,” I said to the nurse before she left the room.

My parents stood beside the bed looking down at me with concern and fear in their eyes, though they were trying to hide it with their soothing words.

“You’re here and the doctors will get this all sorted,” Mom said, holding my hand and rubbing the top of it. “It’s going to be fine.”

“I know,” I said, even though I didn’t know, and I didn’t think it would be fine. Dread filled every inch of me, a sense of foreboding I couldn’t shake.

“It’s a good thing you were with Ollie when it happened,” my father said.

Ollie… I needed to talk to Ollie. I hadn’t wanted him to leave the room when my parents arrived, but he’d graciously given them the time to be with me while he was… Where was he? I wanted him to come back. Everything was happening so fast, and all I wanted was a few quiet minutes with him.

The nurse came back in and handed me a pen and notepad, and as I held them, I tried to calm my mind enough to write what I needed to in case I didn’t get a chance to see him before I went into surgery. In case…anything should happen.

Nothing will happen, I told myself. Everything is going to work out.

That would’ve been easier to believe if another crushing headache didn’t have me wincing and my mom calling out for the nurse again.

“I’m fine.” I tried to wave them off, because, fuck, I was terrified, and I didn’t want them to see it. With the way my heart felt like it was stuttering with every beat, I was surprised the monitors I’d been hooked up to hadn’t already alerted them to my fear. I hadn’t wanted Ollie to see it either, but there was never any way for me to hide from him.

“What are you doing, baby?” my mom asked.

“Just give me one sec.”

Thankfully, she didn’t ask any other questions, and settled into one of the chairs beside me, giving me the space I needed to pour my heart out onto the page.

Ollie,

I know you’re worried. And maybe I am too.

Strike that. I’m a lot worried. There. I admitted it. I’m fucking terrified, but I was trying not to show you.

It doesn’t seem fair that I’m back here, but we haven’t gone through these last few weeks to give up now.

I just found you. I’m not losing you, and I won’t forget you, no matter what happens.

But if, somehow, the worst-case scenario comes true, I need you to promise me you won’t give up on me.

Help me remember.

Help me find my way back to you.

Love,

Your Bluebird

I tore off the paper and folded it four times, and then I closed my eyes so no one would see me cry. I didn’t understand why, but it felt like a part of me was dying, and I didn’t know how to stop it from happening. I just hoped that somehow, some way, Ollie wouldn’t let me go…

“You came back to me.”

I looked up through a haze of tears as Ollie pushed off the doorway and crossed over to where I was sitting on the tile. He knelt beside me and wiped my tears away with both hands. I stared at him, blinking fast, trying to clear my vision as I sat there holding the heavily creased paper with shaking hands. “You kept this…”

“It goes everywhere I do. I told you I’d keep you with me.”

I took a deep, quivering breath. “This whole time…I felt like…I missed you somehow. It didn’t make any sense to me, because I didn’t know you, or I didn’t think I did. But…” I looked down at the letter again, the one that only confirmed how strongly I’d felt about him then, and how right it all was now. “I felt like I should.”

Tears fell down Ollie’s face to match mine, but when he didn’t wipe them away, I set the letter aside and took his face in my hands. I kissed away every salty drop, and when I was done, I rested my forehead against his.

“I promised I’d wake up to you. It may not have been right away, but I’m awake now, Ollie. I’m awake, and I see you. I see us.”

He lifted his head then and kissed me, a long, deep, searing kiss that scorched my insides, leaving nothing in its wake.

“I love you,” I said. “I should’ve told you that before my surgery, because there’s nothing truer in this world than the fact that I love you, Oliver McFadden. Every perfect inch of you. You never stopped believing in me, even when I lost hope in myself, even when I pushed you away…even when I hurt you. But you…you love so fiercely. You see the good in the world because you are the good in the world.”

Ollie brushed the wetness from the corner of my eye with his thumb, and I could only stare at him in wonder before shaking my head.

“I don’t understand how you can look at me like that,” I said.

“Like what?”

“With your entire heart in your eyes.”

“Because I love you,” he said. “You own me, Bluebird. Completely. You always have, and you always will.” His lips skimmed against my knuckles in a light caress. “I loved you the first time I saw you in your cardinal pin, before you even knew I existed. Way before I even knew your name. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you. No lengths I wouldn’t go to keep you safe. To keep you happy. That’s all I’ll ever want in this life—to make you happy. To love you with all that I am.” He choked up at the end, and I couldn’t help wrapping my arms around his neck and letting him feel my response, and the way my heart soared at his words, with a kiss.

It was beautiful. It was perfect. It was worth every ounce of heartbreak and every scared and confused thought I’d ever had. To be with Ollie, I would go through it all again, over and over, just for the moments like this, where I felt like my heart was going to burst from the overflow of love he gave to me.

“Reid?”

“Hmm?”

“Can I ask how you ended up on the kitchen floor?”

I laughed and pointed to his pants, keys, and wallet on the counter. “You went wild getting naked for me, that’s how. Stuff all over the floor,” I teased.

“You’re not complaining, are you?”

“Hell no. Actually, that reminds me—there’s something else about you that I forgot to mention I love.”

“My bowling skills?”

“It does involve balls, yes.”

“Huh. You haven’t seen me play tackle football yet.”

“No, but now I have something else to look forward to. But Ollie? I just have to tell you… I really, really love”—I moved in like I was going to kiss him—“your cock.” He busted out laughing as my lips twitched in amusement. “I know. Words I never thought I’d say, but it’s true. I’ve never seen a more impressive dick.”

“Uh, I would think fucking not,” he said. “But I, for one, am very happy to hear how much you love my cock. As a matter of fact, I think you should spend some time letting my cock know just how much you love it.”

“I dunno… I see lots of long, hard hours spent getting better reacquainted. You sure you’re up for that?”

He lifted his eyebrows and looked down at his lap to where his pants had tented. “Really? Do you have to ask?”

“Not anymore I don’t,” I said, and gave him another kiss. “You belong to me now. I’m taking you any time I want to.”

“I think I like this side of you.”

“I hope so. Because I plan to be around for the long haul. There’s no getting rid of me now.”

“I guess I can get rid of the chains in the basement, then.”

“Hmm.” I sucked his lower lip into my mouth. “Maybe don’t get rid of those just yet.”

“Is now the time you tell me you’re secretly a kinky bastard?”

“I don’t think I should tell you. Maybe I’ll show you.”

Ollie groaned and pulled me onto his lap. “How did we get on this subject? I thought you were going to tell me you came in here to play our song.”

“Our song, huh?”

His eyes twinkled. “Isn’t it?”

My heart melted a little as I realized I’d fallen in love with the most incredible person I’d ever met—a person that just so happened to be a man. And what was more? I fucking loved it. I loved the way my body caught fire every time he was near, and I loved the way he loved me with every fiber of his being. That’s just who Ollie was: someone who loved completely. And somehow, against all odds, it was me he’d chosen to give himself to. And I planned to choose him back, again and again, every day for the rest of our lives.

“I’m not sure how I got so lucky. I wouldn’t have even known how to wish for you,” I said.

Ollie tightened his hold on me and held my face in his hands. “I don’t need a wish.” He brushed a kiss against my lips before saying the words I would cherish forever: “I got everything I ever wanted…when you came back to me.”