AS SOON AS I shut the door, trapping myself in an enclosed space with Ollie, I began to think that this had been a bad idea. The strange feeling in my stomach was back, and it occurred to me then that I’d gotten in a car with a guy I really didn’t know at all.

It’s a two-mile drive. He’s not gonna pack you in the trunk. Calm the hell down.

“Little wet out there,” Ollie said with a laugh as I buckled in.

“Yeah, I wasn’t expecting rain, or I would’ve come better prepared.”

“Me too.” He wiped his face with his hand and then ran it through his hair. The rest of him was soaked as well, making his clothes stick to his skin.

Jesus, he’s ripped. With his shirt clinging to his massive chest and biceps, he somehow looked even bigger. Or maybe it was just the way he filled the small space we were in.

Why am I even noticing another guy’s muscles? That’s fucking weird.

Ollie put the car in drive. “Where to?”

“The Garden Lakes complex.”

“Okay.”

“You know where that is?”

“I do. Why do you seem surprised?”

I shrugged. “It’s kinda hidden, I guess. My friends were always missing the turnoff.”

“Ah.” Then after a pause, he said, “I had a boyfriend who lived over there.”

That made me do a double take. A boyfriend? He was gay? I don’t know why that news left me dumbstruck, but it did. “Had? Did it end badly?”

As we pulled up to a red light, Ollie looked my way with sorrow in his eyes. “Yeah. You could say that.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” he said as the light turned green and his focus returned to the road.

“Breakups are the worst. I mean, how do you go from being so close to someone to practically a stranger overnight? You know?”

He white-knuckled the steering wheel and stared straight ahead. “Yeah. I’m still figuring that out.”

Okay, I’d obviously steered us into an uncomfortable topic. It was one I wondered about often, though. I’d seen my ex, Natasha, recently, but it felt as though I was talking to someone I’d just met. It was hard to believe I’d spent years of my life with her when it all felt like a blur.

“Reid?” Ollie said. “Would you do me a favor?”

“Uh, sure.”

“Close your eyes.”

“Close my eyes? Why?”

“Just trust me.”

Something in his voice made me want to obey, so I did as he said. I shut my eyes.

“Keep them closed until we’re clear,” he said.

“Until we’re clear of what?”

“If I told you, it would negate the reason for you to have them shut in the first place.”

“Ollie—”

“Please, Reid.”

Please, Reid. There’d been an edge of alarm in his words, and that had me wondering what the hell was going on. But I kept my eyes closed and leaned back, listening to the rain as I waited for him to give me the okay.

A few seconds later, red and blue lights flickered against my lids, and they opened involuntarily before I had a chance to process what those colors actually meant.

The scene in front of us was like something out of a horror movie. There were police cars everywhere, fire trucks, at least two ambulances that I could see, but it was the wreckage in the middle, three cars piled up against each other, that had my heart stopping.

Then there was a flash in my memory, of something slamming into me, glass shattering, the air bags detonating from all around.

“Oh my God,” I said, as my chest seized. Suddenly I couldn’t get enough air. The sight of the mangled cars, the rescue lights flashing… It felt all too familiar. Too much to take.

Ollie’s voice cut through the images that wouldn’t stop playing. “Reid, I’m gonna need you to bend over and put your head between your knees. Do it now.”

I tried to catch my breath, but the panic attack was strong. Ollie’s hand went to my back as I leaned over and gasped for air.

“It’s okay,” he said, soothing me like one would a frightened animal. “They’ve got it under control. You’re in here and you’re safe.”

But I didn’t feel safe. My right side felt like someone had taken a bat to my ribs, and my head hurt something fierce.

This isn’t real. Breathe. Just breathe.

I was vaguely aware of Ollie talking me through it, and a few seconds later, he’d shoved a bag under my nose for me to breathe into.

Steady breaths. It’s not real. I’m alive. There’s no pain. It’s not real.

I had no idea how long I stayed bent over, struggling to right my world once again, but the whole time Ollie’s hand stayed on me, his presence keeping me grounded.

As my breaths began to slow back to normal, I pulled the bag away and I dropped my head into my hands. “Fuck.”

“It’s okay. Let it pass. There’s no rush.”

I couldn’t seem to think of anything other than the wreckage, the one we’d just seen as well as the one my mind was showing me. Had that been me in that car, lying on top of an air bag? It seemed real but…not. Like I was watching it happen but could still feel the pain. Was it real or was my brain making shit up now?

Was I going crazy?

After a while, I sat back up, and Ollie held out a travel cup. “Would you like some water?” he asked.

Nodding, I took the drink gratefully. There was still ice inside, and the cold water was a shock to my system—one that was much needed. It was then that I also realized that he’d kicked the air up and positioned the vents to blow directly on me. Not only that, but he’d pulled us into an empty parking lot far enough away that the accident was no longer visible.

“Fuck,” I said, wiping my mouth. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. Just drink some more.”

I took another couple of deep gulps before handing the cup back to him. My heart wasn’t jackhammering anymore, and with the air blowing on my face, I could breathe again.

Leaning back against the headrest, I said, “How did you know?”

“Know what?”

“You asked me to close my eyes. How did you know that accident would set me off?”

Ollie’s eyes penetrated mine. “Do you want the truth?”

“Yes.”

“Because I was there.”

“You were where?”

He dropped his arm from the steering wheel to stroke the scruff on his jaw. “I’m a paramedic. I was there the day of your accident. As a matter of fact, I’m the one who got you out of the car.”

His words sucked the air from out of the small space, and I felt my mouth fall open. “What did you just say?”

“You heard me.”

“You—” The words got stuck in my throat. Ollie was the one who’d saved me? Ollie?

“I know that’s probably surprising. It was a hell of a shock to get the call that morning and see that it was you.”

“I-it was?”

“Yeah. I’d seen you about ten minutes before at Joe’s while we were getting coffee. It wasn’t exactly how either of us pictured our mornings going, I imagine.”

“Wow.” That was all I could manage as I let that information sink in. “I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything. I just thought you should know.”

In a daze. That was how my head felt. “Was it as…bad…as the one back there?”

“We got you out. That’s all that matters.”

“I heard the driver that hit me walked away fine.”

“A bit of whiplash, but yeah.”

“Huh.” I crossed my arms and stewed about that fact for the millionth time.

“You can say it.”

“What?”

“What you’re thinking. That it doesn’t seem fair that the accident was his fault and yet you’re the one suffering.”

“How’d you know that’s what I was thinking?”

“Because I would be. Doesn’t make you a bad person to have those thoughts.”

It was like he could read my mind. Even though I tried not to think about it, knowing someone else’s rush to get to work had upended my entire life for the worse… It was hard not to be bitter. But yeah, that’s what I was. Bitter.

“You’re right,” I said. “I feel…”

“Yeah?”

“Pissed the fuck off.”

Ollie’s mouth quirked up on one side. “I’d be more worried if you weren’t.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m guessing you see this kind of thing a lot.”

“More than I’d like to.”

“So how do you do it? You see all this bad shit every day and you don’t seem jaded by it at all.”

“Trust me, I have my days. More often than not lately,” he said, his focus moving to the window. “But at the end of the day, I’d like to think I’ve helped in some small way. That out of the bad, there’s a bit of good.”

Like a bucket of water had splashed over my head, every wary vibe I’d had about Ollie vanished. With those few words, he’d just given me a peek into his soul, and I knew then without a shadow of a doubt that there wasn’t a malicious or vengeful inch of him. He’s one of the rare good ones, isn’t he? And he saved my life. Holy shit, he saved me. How did you pay someone back for that? Was it even possible?

There was a sting behind my eyes and in my chest. “Thank you. For helping me just now and for…you know.” Saving my life.

Ollie’s gaze drifted to mine. “You’re welcome.”

An odd thought occurred to me then. “No wonder you came to see me in the hospital. Those flowers you brought…they were from you, weren’t they?”

“Uh…” His face flushed darker than his hair. “Well, I knew you’d had another surgery, so…”

“But then I woke up and had no idea you were the one who saved me. Shit. I’m sorry.” I gripped the back of my neck as my head fell back against the headrest. “I feel like I’ve lost so much.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Until a few minutes ago, I couldn’t remember my accident, and I think that’s what I saw just now. I felt like I was there. And then there’s this chunk of time that’s missing between that day and the day of my surgery. And I can’t explain it, I don’t know what it is, but there’s something in my gut that tells me that I have to keep digging.”

Ollie sat up straighter. “Digging for what?”

“I don’t know, whatever it is. I know that makes no sense. But have you ever had that feeling like you’re forgetting something and everyone around you thinks you’re crazy?”

He stared at me for a long moment and then nodded.

With a sigh, I massaged my temples with my thumbs. “I don’t even know why I’m telling you all of this.” It was strange how easy I found him to talk to, especially considering I hadn’t spoken to many of my closest friends in so long. But I couldn’t seem to shut myself up, and he was a good listener. Maybe Mom’s right. I do need a friend outside of my therapist. “You’re a saint, Ollie. I bet you had no idea you’d signed up for this when you offered me a ride.”

“You seem like you needed to get it out.”

“It’s your fault you’re easy to talk to.”

A smile split his lips. “I’ll take that as a compliment. You can talk to me anytime.”

There it was. That strange niggling in my stomach. Shit, maybe I was hungry. Glancing at the time on the radio, I realized half an hour had already gone by.

“I think I’ve embarrassed myself enough for one day. I should probably go home,” I said.

“Um, about that. Getting you home might be a problem.”

“Why?”

“Is there a back entrance to your complex?”

“No, just the main one.”

“Well, the accident happened right in front of your street, so it’s blocked off right now. It’ll take a little while before they can get the road cleared, so I won’t be able to get you home until then. Are you hungry? Do you wanna go grab some lunch while we wait?”

I looked out at where we were and silently cursed. The rain pounded the car so heavily that Ollie’s windshield wipers were working overtime and you could barely see anything ahead. Ugh, great. I was not looking forward to what I’d have to do next.

“How about you drive me up as close as you can and I can walk the rest of the way?”

“Uh, Reid?” Ollie pointed up at the car ceiling and we listened for a moment. “Pretty sure that’s hail beating my car to shit right now. So unless you want a concussion, I wouldn’t advise walking. Not to mention you’d have to pass the scene, and after the attack you had, I’m guessing you don’t want to do that.”

Shit, he was right. Okay, plan B. “My parents live in Bridgewood on Leigh Street. You can take me there.”

“You got it.”

He put the car in drive and eased back out onto the main road.

“It’s not that I can’t drive,” I said to break up the quiet, suddenly feeling like a teenager who had to get his parents to come pick him up and drop him off. “I just haven’t been able to bring myself to do it again yet.”

“That’s okay.” No judgment, no questions. Just “okay.” Still, I felt the need to explain myself so this guy didn’t think badly of me for whatever reason. But before I could do that, Ollie said, “You’ll do it when you’re ready.” He glanced over at me. “You’ve been through a lot, Reid. Give yourself a break.”

Give myself a break? That was something I wasn’t sure I could do.

Silence fell between us again, only this time it wasn’t awkward. I pointed out how to get to my parents’ house, and a few minutes later, he pulled into the driveway.

“You know,” he said, rubbing his chin again, “I actually don’t live far from here.”

“You don’t?”

“Nope. I’m on the other side of the lake off Wheeler Street.”

“You weren’t kidding. That is close.”

“Mhmm. So if you’re ever in the area, you should stop by. Since you like to walk”—he shrugged—“I do laps around the lake almost every day. You can join me if you want. We can talk. Not talk. Whatever.”

“You’re making that offer even though you’ve seen firsthand that I’m a mess?”

Ollie grinned. “Yeah, you’re kind of a mess.”

“Hey, you’re not supposed to agree.”

With a laugh, he held up his hand. “What I meant to say is we’re all a little fucked up. That’s not a deal breaker among friends.”

Friends…hell, maybe I could use a friend. And it wouldn’t be a bad idea to have one who seemed to keep paper bags around.

“Give me your number; maybe I’ll call you next time I come over this way,” I said.

He opened the glove compartment and took out a pen and a napkin, and it didn’t escape my notice the way his hands shook as he wrote down his number. Then again, he did have the air on high and was still sporting his wet clothes. I reached over and turned down the AC so he wouldn’t freeze to death.

When he handed me the paper, I shoved it in my wallet to keep it from getting drenched.

“Thanks again for the ride, Ollie. And for…well, all of it. You’re a good man to have around.”

“No problem at all. Take care, Reid.”

Take care, Reid… Those words brought on déjà vu as I stepped out of the car and made a run for the porch. I turned and waved before heading inside, and Ollie flashed his lights in goodbye.

There was something innately comforting about that guy, which was odd considering his dominating size. Maybe I could use someone like that in my life.