I was exhausted and thoroughly satisfied. I’d lost count of how many orgasms we’d given each other yesterday and well into the night. I hadn’t thought it was possible, and every time I told Colin I couldn’t, he proved me wrong, wringing another one out of my spent body. He was . . . actually, there were no words for what he was. Magnificent didn’t begin to cover it. The man was skilled, that was for sure, but there was something else, too. I could feel the reverence in his touch. He still refused to have sex and I gave up begging him to. There would be no changing his mind, which went a long way in confirming he was the man I thought him to be. Honorable and true to his word.

“Anything from Zane?” I asked when Colin came into the kitchen.

“No. I don’t expect anything from him for the next two days. Declan confirmed they have Greenwold.”

“Where will they take him?”

“An undisclosed OCONUS location.”

“What does that mean?”

I held up a coffee cup, and he nodded.

“Outside continental United States.”

I poured his coffee and thought about how different things were. He’d yet to withhold any information from me since that first talk. I was sure there were some things he was sugar coating and I was okay with that. I didn’t want the terrifying details, all I needed was to be told what was going on around me. And he’d more than shown me he trusted me with the information.

“What will happen to him?”

Colin accepted his cup and leaned against the counter. He was so freaking sexy I almost spilled the hot liquid down the front of my shirt. Lesson learned, never stare at Colin while trying to sip morning coffee.

“They’ll place him in rendition. Zane and the team will try and extract as much intel as they can. Once the team feels they have everything they need, Greenwold will be left there and the guys will come home.”

“How long will he stay there?”

“Indefinitely.”

“Forever?”

“Yep.”

Colin hadn’t skipped a beat. His features hadn’t changed, and he drank his coffee as if we were talking about the weather and not a man who was going to be locked away for the rest of his life.

“He has a wife and kids.”

“He does.”

“He’ll never see them again.”

“He won’t.”

“Colin!”

“What?”

“We’re talking about a man’s life. His wife and kids will never see him again. Don’t you feel . . . I don’t know . . . something?”

Colin set his cup down on the counter, took mine out of my hand and placed it next to his. He picked me up as if I weighed nothing, plopped me on the granite countertop, and stepped between my legs.

“The only thing I feel is relief.”

“Relief?”

“Something you need to understand about me, Erin. I’m not a nice man. Not when it comes to the safety and well-being of those I love. I give zero fucks what happens to him. If it were up to me, he’d have a bullet in his forehead and no one would have to worry about feeding him for the rest of his miserable life. And if he cared about his wife and children, he would’ve thought twice about what he was planning. He knew what the repercussions were for plotting against the FDOUS. He still stalked you, terrified you, tried to kidnap you, and when that didn’t work his cronies tried to kill you. So, sunshine, the only thing I wish was different is that it was me standing in front of him right now extracting information. Instead, my team gets the pleasure. Do not forget, Greenwold is a traitor.”

“I don’t know what to say.”

And I didn’t. I should’ve been afraid of the look on Colin’s face and the fact he admitted he could easily kill a man. But I wasn’t, I felt oddly safe.

“Nothing to say. But you’re going to have to make a choice. This is my life. This is who I am and what I do. The government contracts me to take out the worst of the worst. The terrorists, traffickers, scumbags, and the horrible men and women our country doesn’t want the good citizens to know about. This is me, Erin, a contract killer. You need to decide if that’s something you can live with. I can’t change who I am and what I’ve done.”

“I don’t want you to change.”

“It’s easy to say that standing here with me in front of you. It will be something else entirely when I’m called out of your bed in the middle of the night and sent off to places unknown. There will be a lot I’ll never be able to tell you. I may be gone a day, or a week, or a month. You’ll never know the where, the who, or the why, but you can be sure when I return, I’ll do so with blood on my hands.”

“Your job is important. You protect people. I know you can’t tell me the specifics of what you do. I’ve learned a lot in my seven years living in the White House. I understand operational security. And I would never ask you to compromise a mission. But you have to understand, I’m stronger than you think. For the record; you don’t come home with blood on your hands. You come home a hero—”

“Don’t make me out to be something I’m not.”

I moved my hands from his shoulders up to his face and rested them on his cheeks, taking a moment to choose my next words carefully. “I know you don’t think of yourself as a hero. Less than one percent of the US population has served in the military. Of that, less than thirty percent has seen combat. That makes you part of a very special group of men and women who have put themselves in harm’s way for this country. Breaking that down further, I’d guess that of those thirty percent, only a handful purposefully and gladly would continue to do so, simply because they are needed. There is no glory in your job. No awards or accolades. It’s thankless and dangerous, and you do it because someone has to. You answer a call not many are brave enough to. That is a hero. I won’t lie to you, it scares me. I saw a very minute part of what you do in the car last week. I was so terrified when we were being shot at, I couldn’t think straight, but not you. You handled it like it was no big deal, an easy day for you. So, I get it. There will be secrets between us. Time will separate us, and danger will be a part of our lives. But if, at the end of the day, that means I get you, I’m okay with it. All of it.”

He didn’t look like he believed me. His eyes bore into mine, searching for some discrepancy or indecisiveness. He wouldn’t find any. There was no hesitation on my part. I could handle his job, all I needed was for him to give me a chance to prove it.

“If it gets to be too much, I need you to promise to tell me. I couldn’t live with myself if what I do makes you unhappy or—”

“I promise. When have I ever kept my mouth shut?”

His cheeks moved under my hands, and I both felt and saw his smile.

“Okay. Are you hungry?”

“I’m not. But I’ll make you something if you are.”

“Nope. Keep your ass planted right where you are, and I’ll make myself something.”

And that’s what I did. I stayed sitting on the counter and watched him move around the kitchen.

“How’s Olivia doing?”

Colin’s head whipped around, and his eyes widened. I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised by the look of shock on his face. For months, I’d avoided any conversation that involved Olivia and had gone out of my way to not to see her.

“She’s doing great. She and Leo are ecstatic the baby will be here soon.”

“A girl, right?”

“Yep. I can’t wait until she’s a teenager. We already have a pool going on what age the kid will be when the first boy comes knocking on the door. We even have a side bet on whether Leo answers with a handgun or rifle. Right now, it’s two to one, rifle.”

“That’s so bad.” I laughed. “Poor Livie. She’s going to have to sneak her daughter out of the house for her first date.”

“There’s a strong possibility that’ll be the case. Leo is a little crazy when it comes to Olivia. It wasn’t pretty when we found her. Something clicked for him that day. He carried her out of that filthy room and has never wanted her anywhere but by his side since.”

“I like that for her. She deserves it.”

“Did you know he threatened to quit his job and take her on the run?”

“No.”

“Grab your coffee and let’s go sit on the porch. I’ll tell you the story.”

I hopped down and followed Colin out into the cool late morning air. Even after only being here less than a week I was positive I could be happy living in this house forever. The fresh pine smelled so good and the rustling of the trees was peaceful.

Colin brushed some leaves off of the chair and offered me the seat. Once we were both settled, he started eating and told me the story of Leo and Olivia between bites. How’d they’d driven across the country. How she came to know her biological father. And how, Pam, her mom, had caused quite the scene, forcing Leo to take some drastic measures to keep Pam from harming Olivia. I was so sad for Pam and Olivia. They’d been so close, I’m sure Olivia was heartbroken when her mom had been diagnosed with a brain tumor. My mom and Olivia’s mom were close friends, and I’d been kept up to date on Pam’s condition. Thankfully, she’d made a full recovery after an experimental surgery and was doing well.

“Why did Leo threaten to quit?”

“Zane told him we were going to use Olivia as bait to try and draw out the bad guys.”

“What? Would he have really done that?”

“Fuck no. He wanted Leo to step up and admit his feelings for Olivia. We all saw it. When Leo ran out of the house with Olivia in his arms, and the house exploded behind him, he covered her with his body. There was no thought, he simply protected her. When we got in the helicopter, he held her in his lap like she was the most precious thing in the world. And when Pam tried to take her home, even though Olivia was still in danger, he went toe-to-toe with her and made it clear she was going with him.”

“I like Leo. That time he came to D.C. with you for the Governor’s Ball he was nice.”

“I’ll be sure to tell him you think he’s nice.” Colin chuckled. “I don’t think many people would call him that.”

“I want to see her. Do you think . . . I mean . . . would she want to see me?”

“Yes.”

“You’re not just saying that to be nice, are you?”

“There’s that word again. Sunshine, I am not a nice person. I don’t blow rainbows and unicorns just to save someone’s feelings. I’m too honest for that. Olivia wants to see you. She’s asked many times.”

“I need to explain to her why I pulled away.”

“You do. She misses you and thinks you’re mad at her.”

“I know. I was wrong. Maybe when we get home, we can go to their house and see them.” I was worried I’d said the wrong thing when the expression on Colin’s face changed. I couldn’t read the look but it was intense. “Did I say something wrong?”

“No, sunshine, you said everything right.”

Now I was really confused but instead of asking him to clarify what he meant because, honestly, I was still worried, I changed the subject. “Tell me about the guys.”

“Linc and Jasmin just had twins a few months ago. Two boys. Jaxon and Violet met on an op. She’s an interesting woman who was put in a tough spot. It took a while for the team to come around and like her, but we all have. We understand why she had to do what she did. Violet actually met your dad in the basement of an old barn we used to have. He grilled her pretty hard, but, in the end, she won him over, too. Jax told me before we left for Texas they’re expecting a baby but hadn’t told the team yet.

“With Violet came her twin brother, Declan. He’s a good guy. Zane and Ivy are happily ensconced in their penthouse, up high, away from everyone. If Zane had it his way they’d never leave, he likes his privacy, but Ivy has done wonders making him socialize with everyone. There was a time when he carried such a heavy burden you could see him starting to crumble. Ivy changed that, changed him. We’re all thankful she’s come into his life.”

I wondered if he knew how his face lit when he talked about his friends. He was obviously very close to them. I’d say, closer to them than to his own family. That made me kind of sad.

We fell into a comfortable silence while Colin ate his breakfast. My eyes scanned the yard and fell on a soccer ball not far from an old wooden shed.

“Did you know I played soccer in high school? I was a mid-fielder.”

“I can see that. Bet you were good.”

I stood and walked down the two steps to get to the grass. I looked back over my shoulder at Colin. “I was very good. Wanna play a little one-on-one? Maybe place a little bet on who can score the first goal?”

His handsome face broke out into a wide smile and butterflies erupted in my belly. Maybe I could convince him tonight was the night. I was more than ready to have sex with him.

Before he could answer, his phone rang, and he fished it out of his pocket.

Yeah. Tonight, was definitely the night. I’d beg and plead if I had to. I wanted Colin so badly I could hardly stand it.