The last few days had been tense, even worse than the preceding week had been, and I hadn’t thought that was possible. I wasn’t permitted to go anywhere alone, not that there was some place to go. At least I was allowed outside, and even that took some cajoling on my part. I swear, if Colin had his way I’d be kept in a windowless room with an armed guard at the ready.

I stepped on something in the dirt and looked down at the green, plastic Army men. Some were still standing, facing each other like they were in the middle of some sort of action figure combat zone battling it out. Story of my life, just like the toys, I was always locked inside some battle—only mine was internal. My love for my dad and how proud I was of him for all the good he’d done for the country, and the guilt and selfishness I had at wanting him all to myself. My mom, too. She was the best first lady. Supportive, altruistic, intelligent, and loving. And I wanted all of her attention. My mother was the very definition of class, a true lady. It was a pleasure to watch her work a room. Most would think it was all for show, but when my mother asked you how you were doing, she genuinely wanted to know. I missed her.

As I knelt down to pick up the toys, the back door opened. I didn’t have to turn around to know Colin was scanning the area. He did it every time we went anywhere. It seemed a tad ridiculous to do it in the backyard, considering the man who’d lived here before had more cameras than the pentagon. Colin had shown me the monitor with all the different views of the property and explained Fletch was security conscious. I called it batshit crazy, but what did I know? Until I’d seen the pictures of me Colin had lying across his desk the other day, I’d thought all of them were a little nuts. Now, even I couldn’t deny something creepy was going on.

“What’d you find?” Colin asked, stopping beside me.

“Little men with guns.”

“Annie must’ve set them up and forgot about them.”

“Guess so. What’s going on?”

“I was wondering if you’d like to go out to lunch.”

“Go out? Like, leave the house? God, yes.”

Colin smiled, and I swear I’d never get over how the simple up tip of the lips could change his whole demeanor.

“Come on, we’ll go anywhere you want.”

“Anywhere?”

“You’re gonna pick sushi, aren’t you?”

One night, shortly after I’d first met Colin, he’d expressed his dislike for raw fish. I tried to tell him there was more to sushi than the raw stuff, but he’d refused to try it.

“Yep.” I looked at the toys in my hands and asked, “Do you think Annie would want these?”

“Probably. I’ll give them to Fletch the next time I see him.” He reached out his hand, and, for a second, I was confused. Butterflies hit my belly, and I’d stupidly thought he wanted to hold my hand. Then I remembered the Army men. “Ready?”

“So ready.”

I dropped the toys into Colin’s hand, and, much to my surprise, he used his free hand to grab mine. “Let’s go get you some uncooked fish and rice.”

I was too shocked to answer. I simply followed him into the house. He dropped the Army men on the counter, grabbed his keys, and walked us out the front door to his car. Never letting go of my hand.

What the hell is this about?

On the drive to the restaurant he told me his team was still looking into who had taken the pictures and was trying to track down the woman who I’d remembered coming into the meeting room. Unfortunately, she didn’t work for the hotel and had somehow avoided the cameras in the lobby. There was a street view of her, but she’d donned a baseball cap and most of her face was obscured. Colin explained that told them a lot. She obviously knew what she was doing, and it would help narrow down the suspects, of which there weren’t any.

We were in a holding pattern waiting for them to make the next move. I hated there wasn’t an end in sight, but Colin promised me everyone was working hard to figure out who was following me.

“What’s changed?” I asked when we exited the car.

“What do you mean?”

“Suddenly you’re freely giving me information about what’s going on.”

“I heard what you said the other night about not being in control of your own life. You were right, I’m no better than everyone else. I’ve kept you in the dark and I thought about how I’d feel if my life wasn’t my own. I’d be just as pissed and fed up as you are. I was wrong. You not only deserve to know, but you need all the information. It’s the only way you’ll take these threats seriously. I can’t protect you if you don’t trust me.”

“Trust, huh? Is this part of the whole friendship thing?”

Maybe I should’ve held on to my anger a little while longer, but holding a grudge wasn’t going to make my time with him anymore pleasant. And I was tired of walking on eggshells around him.

“I guess it is. I’m man enough to admit when I’m wrong, and when it comes to you, there’s plenty I’ve been wrong about. I’m sorry for that.”

“Apology accepted. And I’m sorry for calling you a douchebag prick.”

“You’ve never called me that.”

“Sure I did. Hundreds of times, in my head.”

“Good to know.” He chuckled.

“You know, your eyes change color when you smile, or maybe it’s when you’re happy.”

His smile faded, and I wished I could pull my stupid comment back.

“No, I didn’t know that.”

“They’re a stormy blue, but when you forget to scowl at me, they brighten and become lighter.”

“Is that what you think? I scowl at you.”

“Normally, you do. Well maybe not scowl, but the look certainly isn’t friendly.”

A loud bang and crunching of metal sounded and Colin grabbed me around the waist and jerked me to his body, turning us so my back was against the car and his large frame crowded me.

“Shit. Sorry.”

Car doors slammed in the distance and I could hear men yelling, but I was riveted by the man in front of me. He hadn’t given it a second thought, he simply moved to protect me. Even though it was from a fender bender more than a hundred feet from us.

“Thank you,” I croaked, overcome with emotion.

In all the years I’d had bodyguards and the secret service following me, never had I felt so safe. Which was strange because I knew those other men, like Colin, were all paid to watch over me. But this felt different, personal, and maybe even a little intimate the way his body was contoured to mine.

“You never have to thank me for keeping you safe.”

He said keeping me safe, not doing his job. For some reason, in my mind, there was a clear distinction.

Colin brushed my hair away from my face, the touch sending chills down my arms. “You know, your eyes change color, too.”

“No, I didn’t know that.” I used his words from earlier and tried not to smile.

“They’re a pretty honey brown.” His hand slid to the nape of my neck. “But right now, they have flecks of red. It looks like they’re on fire.”

God. If he only knew. My eyes weren’t the only thing on fire due to his closeness.

“Is that a good thing?”

“Oh, yeah, sunshine. It’s a very good thing.” The arguing motorists’ voices got louder, breaking the spell. “Come on, let’s get you some lunch.”

“Okay.”

He made no effort to move, and neither did I. As a matter of fact, I was no longer hungry, not for food anyway. I could’ve spent the rest of the afternoon pressed against the car, cocooned by Colin, and been perfectly happy. I wasn’t clear about what was happening between us, but there was no way I was alone in my thoughts. Not when I could feel his very stiff erection resting against my stomach.

Sadly, we hadn’t spent the rest of the afternoon leaning against the car. We did, however, eat lunch, and Colin still refused to try sushi. He opted for a huge bowl of noodles and a double order of teriyaki chicken. Which led to a conversation about how much he worked out. There was no way any person could consume that much food in one sitting and maintain the body Colin had. Not that I’d seen it, but I’d sure felt it. He told me he normally worked out twice a day, a habit from his time in the Army. He hadn’t said much about his service but he wasn’t evasive either.

The conversation had been light and friendly, talking about favorite movies and the like. He’d asked me more about growing up and what it was like being the president’s daughter. Now that I wasn’t on the defensive and feeling like I was being treated like child, I told him about all the good parts about living in the White House—and there were a lot. Most of the time it had simply been home to me. But there’d been times when the gravity of where I’d lived and what I’d gotten to experience had struck me. Usually when I wasn’t feeling sorry for myself because I couldn’t have a normal teenage party, or have people over, or go to someone’s house and sleep over. There were security checks, and background investigations to be done. It was invasive, and, unless the parents of my friends were already involved or wanted to be in politics, they frowned on the government digging through their lives. I’d lost more than one friend over it. I’d also learned that most people weren’t truly genuine in wanting to know me. They just wanted an invite to my house.

However, there were times, late at night, my dad would walk me around the West Wing and the Oval Office. I’d seen the situation room. I’d peeked in on state dinners. I’d met princes and princesses from around the world. I’d cooked in the kitchen with world-famous chefs. Then there were the times my dad would have Gerard sneak us off the property and we’d grab a burger late at night and eat it on the lawn in front of the Washington Monument. Those were my favorite times with my dad. When he was just daddy, not President Anderson. And my mom had tried her best to be active in my life. More than once she’d cancelled an important meeting because I’d been in full, teenage-girl meltdown. Sometimes over boys, but most of the time because high school girls could be mean.

Throughout lunch my guilt had grown. I’d spent the last year perpetuating the notion my life had been horrible when it hadn’t. One inconvenience didn’t negate all the good. But after Olivia’s kidnapping I’d allowed myself to make a mountain out of a mole hill.

“What has you thinking so hard over there?” Colin asked as he drove us home.

“Life.”

“Life in general or something specific?”

“I’m trying to figure out when I became this bitchy, ungrateful person. I sure complain a lot about stupid things. I wasn’t always like this.”

“I don’t think you’re ungrateful.”

“I’m not but I’m behaving like I am. My parents are great people. They’ve set an example of selfless service and duty to country. I’ve taken everything they’ve taught me and shit all over it. There are people who serve our country and make sacrifices every day, and I’m complaining I don’t have my parents’ undivided attention. I’m a selfish cow.”

“A cow, huh?” Colin chuckled. “What made you think about all of this?”

“When you told me about all the time you’d spent overseas, and the holidays you’d missed with your family, and how there’d been times you couldn’t call your mom on her birthday. It hit me how self-absorbed I’ve been. Here I am bitching to you because I have to have a bodyguard and my daddy has an important job running the country and doesn’t have time to coddle me when I’m stomping my foot. Please tell me I haven’t been as bad as I think I’ve been.”

“I won’t lie, you’ve been . . . challenging.”

“I’m so embarrassed.”

“You shouldn’t be. I also recognize you’ve been through a lot in a short amount of time.”

“Doesn’t excuse my behavior.”

Man, I owed my parents an apology. Not to mention, some secret service agents. Poor Gerard probably thought I’d lost my ever-loving mind. As soon as this latest situation was over, I’d make things right.

“Fuck!” Colin shouted, interrupting my thoughts. “Hold on.”

But it was too late. My body jerked to the left, then the right, and Colin cursed again as he tried to regain control of the car.

Please, God, don’t let this be it.