Chapter Nine
RHOADES
“Well, well. Who is that cutie?”
God. I’d forgotten how damn annoying Malcolm could be.
“A dancer.” I gave Malcolm my back and threaded my way through the sweaty hordes glued to the stage and clapping to the music while Frankie and Austin shimmied and shook. Some men I knew liked having the guy they were with be the subject of every man’s fantasy. They wanted other men to lust over what they had.
Not me. I never liked anyone giving Lance the once-over. He used to laugh at my jealous streak, kiss me, and whisper how only I turned him on.
Pain twisted my stomach, and when I reached my table I poured a hefty dollop of Macallan into my glass and drank it down. The liquid hit the back of my throat and burned a fiery path down through my chest but did nothing to chase away the chilly pain.
“You know, Rodeo, it’s okay to desire someone else.”
“Stop calling me that stupid nickname,” I muttered, my irritation with Malcolm growing by the minute. I picked up the bottle to pour more scotch only to have Malcolm pluck the bottle from my shaking hand.
“I will when you stop acting like a fool.” Our gazes clashed, and in his eyes I viewed sorrow, pain, and love. The irritation drained from me, and unable to face him, I returned to watching Austin and Frankie onstage. Austin had climbed on top of a raised platform and stripped off his tight silver shorts, revealing the jock I bought for him. The crystals shimmered in the lights and the crowd cheered wildly, whistling and stamping their feet when he turned around to flash the smooth, white globes of his ass.
“He’s very beautiful.”
I sipped my drink and nodded.
“And I’m guessing you haven’t slept together?”
I set my drink on the table. “Not everything is about sex. Aside from being a talented dancer, Austin is trying to launch a career as an interior designer.”
Malcolm narrowed his eyes. “If you want to fuck him, I’m all for it. It’s been too long since you’ve dipped your wick, and Austin, or whatever name he goes by, looks like he can handle you. But”—Malcolm paused, his gaze flickering back to the stage where Frankie had now joined Austin in baring his ass, and the crowd couldn’t throw money at them fast enough—“if you’re trying to convince me that he’s anything more than a hot piece of ass, you’ll have to do better than ‘He’s an interior designer.’ ” He lazed back in his chair and stretched out his long legs. “Although I wouldn’t mind sticking my cock into his interior.”
Smashing my fist in Mal’s pretty face wouldn’t solve anything, but it would feel so good. Instead, I crooked my finger at him, and when he leaned close, I grabbed him by the tie and twisted it tight. His eyes flared, not with fear but surprise. Malcolm wasn’t afraid of anyone.
“If you ever talk about Austin again like that, I’ll break every bone in your body.”
The friendship we had between us allowed for frank talk, but Malcolm knew I wasn’t joking. He jerked his head in acknowledgment, and I released my grasp, even smoothing his silk tie where I’d wrinkled it.
He took a sip of his drink, and we sat in silence for a moment.
“I’m sorry, Rhoades.”
And because we’d known each other for so long, I could accept his apology and know he meant it.
“It’s good.”
“I’m hoping it is.”
Ignoring his cryptic remark, I caught sight of James heading toward our table and rubbed my hand over my face. “I can’t get any peace, can I?”
“James, you bastard, how the hell are you?”
I groaned inwardly and kicked Mal in the shin. “Idiot.”
Not being a constant presence in my life, Mal couldn’t know that these days James and I were as close as we’d ever been. All he’d seen was animosity and mistrust on both sides. My half brother and I might not be best friends, but I’d done some thinking and did take to heart what he said. Like it or not, we were each other’s only family, and I didn’t want to see him hurt by Mal’s careless, callous words.
“Nice to know your vocabulary hasn’t matured since adolescence, Malcolm.” James smirked. “Then again, I shouldn’t be surprised, considering you rarely used your brain and thought only with your dick.”
“Always a pleasure, James.” Mal stood and tossed down the rest of his drink. “Rhoades, time for me to call it a night.”
“I’d thought you’d only be getting started.”
“I didn’t say I was going to sleep. Not yet at least.” His grin was infectious, and I couldn’t help returning it. “You should know me better than that. I’ve got a late date. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” He dropped a kiss on my head and strode out, his sleek, dark waves catching the light, creating a halo effect over him. A fallen angel for sure.
“When did the ill wind blow into town?” James slid into Mal’s vacated seat, and with a grimace, pushed away his used glass. A waiter appeared, bringing him a glass of scotch. One thing we’d both inherited from our father was our love of good liquor.
“Mal? I believe yesterday.”
Austin had left the stage and was giving a lap dance. The man was very good-looking and apparently had a sense of humor as Austin couldn’t stop laughing at whatever the man whispered in his ear. It wasn’t often I saw Austin so open and unguarded, and jealous bile rose in my throat. I wanted to be the one to make him laugh. When they kissed, the man cupped the nape of Austin’s neck to draw him in closer. I turned away.
“Hopefully he leaves without causing too many problems.”
“I don’t think you have to worry. I won’t bring him back here if it bothers you.”
James shrugged. “I’d watch your back. That’s all I’m saying. That guy will fuck anything that’s breathing. And sometimes I wonder if even that’s a requirement. Did you know while his father was dying of cancer, he and the home attendant had sex? Right in the bedroom where his father was sleeping.” James shook his head in disgust, his eyes firing sparks. “What kind of person does that?”
James might be a bit prejudiced against Malcolm, but I’d probably also hate him if I’d discovered my lover of ten years giving Malcolm a blowjob in the bathroom stall at Lincoln Center. Malcolm had no scruples when it came to sex. After witnessing that, James threw Stuart out of the apartment they shared and hadn’t been with anyone since.
“How do you know that’s true?”
“Because José worked for Malcolm’s father at the same time as he worked for William. He heard and saw it all.”
James had never been able to call our father anything but his given name: William. Neither ever felt comfortable in the other’s presence, and from their standoffish behavior with each other, they might have been business acquaintances instead of father and son. I said nothing, but James made up for the silence.
“I don’t understand why you’re friends with him. He’s spoiled and selfish. A pure hedonist.”
All true. But James didn’t know the Malcolm I did. After Lance died, he helped me choose life when the alternative seemed much more painless to me. “He’s gone, and I’d rather not talk about him with you. Neither of you likes each other, so move on.”
Casting me that annoyingly arrogant look down his elegant nose, James brushed off his lapel and stood. “I have to get back to running the club, so I’ll leave you to your puppy-dogging. Because if anyone is mooning over a dancer here, big brother, it’s you.”
Watching his straight-backed figure walk away from me, I thought how I’d like to see James lose that hard facade he wrapped himself up in so tightly. Even when he was with Stuart, he’d rarely let his emotions surface. There’d been no anger or tears when he sent Stuart on his way. The facade hardened, and his eyes turned a bit colder, but that was the extent of what James allowed the outside world to see. I’d known him more than half my life and never seen him cry or lose his temper. Funny how only Malcolm had ever possessed the uncanny ability to force James’s anger. Even our father had only merited a shrug or a one-word answer—if they spoke at all. But at Lance’s funeral, James had given me a hug and whispered, “I’m so sorry,” startling me with his heartfelt condolences. There was a soul there, and I wondered what it would take to bring him to life.
Mulling over my brother’s strange behavior, I drank my scotch and watched the dancers, always keeping track of Austin’s whereabouts as I didn’t trust James’s staff to keep him or the others safe. I wondered what made a man like Austin leave the highly privileged life he’d been born into and choose to dance half-naked in a club.
“What’s wrong?”
I glanced up at the sound of José’s voice. “Nothing. Why?”
He replaced the bucket of ice at my table and brought me a selection of cheese and fruit on a platter. “You had a pained expression on your face. You and James again?”
From his years working for my family, José had a ringside seat to the soap opera of our lives.
Taking my time selecting a slice of manchego, I quirked a brow. “Isn’t it always?”
“One day you two will work it out.”
“Or not.” I took a bite and let the salty-creamy taste burst over my tongue. “Thank you.”
Sensing he was dismissed, José returned to the bar, and I ate several more bites of cheese and chose a strawberry. I’d planned to take Austin out for a late meal after he finished, which—I checked my watch—would only be half an hour longer. I searched for him and didn’t see him on the stage, and my stomach twisted into a knot so painful, I couldn’t breathe. Was he in the back room giving a private dance? My fingers tightened around the strawberry until it splattered in my hand.
“Fuck.”
“Problems?”
Austin stood before me, hair damp, his waves sleek and combed back off his face. He looked hip and younger than his late twenties, while I felt like an old man. His long-limbed body was encased in a pair of drainpipe gray jeans and a plain black sweater.
“Oh, I…ah…need to wash my hand.”
“Here,” Austin said. He dipped the edge of a napkin into the ice bucket and gave me the wet cloth.
“What are you doing finished so early?” I rubbed at the gooey mess and dipped the cloth into the ice again to wet it. “I thought you had at least another half hour.”
He shrugged and sat down next to me. The smell of his coconut body wash teased the air, and I drank it in.
“I made my cut for the night and then some, so James came over and said I could go.” He cocked his head, his wide, blue eyes questioning. “It was weird. He said, ‘I’m sure you have something more important to do tonight anyway.’ ”
James needed to take care of himself instead of me. I tossed the red-stained napkin to the table. “James can be a pest. Are you ready to go?” At Austin’s nod, I stood and pulled down my jacket sleeves. “You said earlier you wanted to talk, so I thought we could go for something to eat. You must be starved after all that exertion.”
“I, um, yeah.” I saw the struggle on his face.
“It’s a meal. Nothing more.”
He stared hard at me for a second, then nodded. “I’d like to. Sure. I am hungry.” He slid his jacket on and hefted a duffel bag on his shoulder. “Ready?”
We walked to the exit, Austin at my side, and I had to suppress the urge to put my arm around his shoulder like I used to do with Lance. A pang hit me, but whether it was loneliness or despair…I couldn’t separate the two.
“Leaving already?”
The tiny smirk on James’s face made my fingers itch to punch him in his nice, smooth jaw.
“Good night,” I muttered and walked to the car, where Felix sat waiting behind the wheel. At my approach, the engine purred on. “Come on inside.” I held the door open for Austin and got in after him.
“Capital Grille, Felix.”
“No. I don’t want to go there.”
The dim lighting didn’t hide the stubborn cast of his jaw.
“Why not? They know me, and I thought we could have a nice, quiet meeting.”
“I don’t feel comfortable there.”
“Fine.” We sat for a moment. “You decide. Anywhere you want.”
In the darkness, his eyes gleamed. “Anywhere? Okay. How about sushi?”
Fearful if I didn’t answer quickly enough, he’d change his mind, I readily agreed. “Whatever you like.”
“We can go to the East Village. There’s lots of places there.”
“Good.” I spoke through the divider. “Felix, down to the East Village, please.”
We rode along in silence for a while, Austin staring out the window but twisting and untwisting the hanging cord of his jacket round and round his finger. “Do you want to wait until we get to the restaurant to talk,” I asked, “or have the conversation now?”
“Now is good. I thought about it, and I’m grateful for the offer.”
He’s not going to take it. He’s going to turn me down. Stiff with misery, I waited for his excuse.
“But I can only accept if we agree to keep it strictly business between us. I’m excited to work on a project like that. But”—Austin drew in a deep breath and shifted in his seat to finally face me—“I won’t sleep with you. That’s not how I intend to make my name in the industry.”
Stubborn pride hardened his jaw. He reminded me a bit of Lance—that youthful appearance hiding a will of iron and determination running through his blood. Austin was not a man to underestimate. My blood quickened.
“I never made that assumption. Let’s get this straight and out in the open. First and most important, I don’t need to bribe people to sleep with me. Nor do I offer jobs to people I don’t believe qualified. When I brought you to the penthouse, I asked for your vision. I liked what I heard, and I went with my gut. It has rarely steered me wrong. Prove me right.”
Our gazes clashed, and witnessing the struggle in Austin’s eyes, I refused to back down and pressed my case.
“There’s never an easy way to make it in the world, Austin, but I’m not offering you a free ride. If you take this job, you’ll be expected to work, and work hard. I’m very demanding and insist on excellence. A pretty face can only get you so far. At some point, you’ll have to deliver. I’m counting on you to deliver for me.”
I had nothing left to say. It was all up to him now. The car stopped at a red light, and I watched the crowds stream past. The only sound in the car was our breathing.
“Okay. I, um, I appreciate the chance, and I promise to give you everything I have. You won’t be sorry.”
I hoped not. Because the prospect of him giving me everything he had conjured up his lips, his tongue…his heart.
“Shake on it?” I held out my hand, and Austin hesitated. Who’d hurt him so badly to make him so wary? I made a promise to myself to never break his trust.
His hand slid into mine, and we shared a smile.