The sun dips in the sky just above the horizon as we pull into the parking lot. There isn’t much daylight left, but Red really wanted to share this place with me. She said it meant a lot to her. I’m not sure why, but if it stretches this day out further, I’m game.

“C’mon.” Red slides off the bike without my help and abandons her new helmet on the seat. With each impatient step toward the entrance of the park her feet crunch against the gravel and her ass swings like a hypnotist’s watch back and forth, drawing me under her spell.

I pull off my helmet, leaving it with Red’s, and follow her quick stride. Lucky for me she’s a short woman. If she were any taller, I’d probably have to run to catch up with her.

“Follow me.” She grabs my hand and expertly navigates her way in past the huge, green trees.

They tower over us dwarfs us like mighty gods that once ruled the Earth, but have since been forgotten. “Here we go.” She begins to slow down as we approach ruins sitting precariously on the edge of the path. The old gray stones of what was once a house has a curved set of stairs up the side. It’s like the entryway to another world. Like some kind of place you’d normally need to access through a magic door in the back of a wardrobe, or maybe the kind of place hobbits once lived.

“Wow.” I come to a standstill, completely struck by the way the deep green forest has swallowed this structure, making it part of the ecosystem. It looks as natural as any tree or stream, as if, somehow, Mother Nature once built herself a little place to live. Before people came along and ruined it, as we always do. I squint at the graffiti tags along the side, proof that people aren’t happy unless they’ve branded their ugly mark on everything.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Red looks up at me and I’m startled to see the intense green of this park reflecting in her eyes. With her hair the color of a wildfire and her skin same pale hue as the harvest moon, I can see that she fits in here. She looks like she could have been born in these woods and once lived in this very house.

“You’re beautiful.” My words catch in my throat and I cough to clear out the emotion threatening to crack me.

She leads me up the stairs to a man-made path leading deeper into the woods. I can’t stop staring, trying to soak it all in because I know that later, when it’s time for me to leave, this will all feel like glimpses of a dream.

“Why is this place so important to you?” I squeeze her hand and she stops dead in her tracks.

“Why?” Her feet dig the toe of her shoe into the dirt. “A couple reasons, I guess.” She finally meets my eyes and I can see the pain inside her shining through.

“You don’t have to explain.”

“No, it’s okay. I don’t mind talking about it.” She nods at the cobblestone ruins. “I told you how when I was little my mom took off on me.” Her eyes quickly flicker over my face, searching for recognition.

“Yes.”

“Yeah, well, when I was young I never knew the reason why. My nana didn’t want me growing up thinking I wasn’t important enough to stick around for. I’m guessing that wouldn’t do a whole lot for my self-esteem.” She forces a dry laugh, but there’s no humor in her words. Only pain.

Red stares at the stones like she’s trying to see inside them. Like she somehow buried her secrets in one of them and she’s finally come back to collect. “We used to come here for walks, my nana and me. Not all the time. Maybe a few times a year. It was a special outing for us, just her and me. And when I’d see this house front, I used to pretend I’d been swept away to an alternate universe. One where my mother was back from her space adventure or her spy training, because of course it could only be something that important that would drag her away from me, and she was just waiting on the other side here for me. I would race up those stairs so fast, my heart practically beating out of my chest and…” Her voice cracks and tears line her eyes.

I pull her into my chest and run my hand over her hair.

“And, of course she was never there. But I’d tell myself I just missed her. That the next time we came, she’d be waiting for me. That there’s no way she could just disappear from my life without a trace and never see me, or even care if I was alive. There was no way.” Her voice trembles as the fat tears slide over her cheeks.

In my mind, I can see the little girl with the blazing hair. I can see her face so full of hope, crumple as she came to realize the truth. That her mother would never be waiting for her. That she never cared.

“Shhh.” I hold Red tight and her sobbing slowly turns to sniffles. She wipes her eyes on the back of her hands and pulls away from me. I can hear her pull deep breaths into her lungs, trying to get herself under control.

“Yeah, so then I grew up. When I became a teenager, I found out the real story about my mom. I learned about her addictions and how she gave me to my nana so she could keep chasing her highs. I mean, really, she did me a favor. But, at the time, I had a hard time seeing it that way. I always told myself when I grew up I’d go to school, get a degree, and try to help women like her. Help them before they got to the point they were tossing their kids away like trash. Help them fight those demons and those drugs so no more kids would have to know how hard it is growing up wondering what made you so fucking unlovable.” Her voice breaks and I walk up behind her, pulling her into my arms.

“You’re not unlovable.” I try to soothe her. I want to take away these scars, but I know all I can do is listen. Listen and show her how much I care.

“Easy for you to say.” She chokes on her laugh.

“No, I’m not just saying that, Red. I know you’re not unlovable. Listen to me.” I twist her around to face me. I look deep into her eyes and refuse to blink. “You know how I know that?”

“How?” she whispers.

“Because I love you.”