Vidalia

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Sleepwalking through my day, I make food, display food, pack food, and make more food. I’ve never realized how little brain power my job takes or how much can be done on autopilot.

My thoughts forever linger on Gunnar. I wonder what he’s doing and if he’s thinking of me. Or is he with another girl already? I know this thought is stupid. Gunnar isn’t the cheating type. He’s almost too loyal for someone like me who’s never received so much attention.

“Vidalia?” asks a woman on the other side of the counter.

Still on mental autopilot, I take a long time to recognize not only my name but where I know her face.

“Yes,” I mumble, already feeling scolded.

Gunnar’s mom is even more beautiful in person than in the photos I saw around her house. With her long, dark hair and big dark eyes, she gave her kids many of their beautiful attributes.

“I’m Tawny O’Keefe. Do you have time to talk?”

Shrugging, I mumble, “I can’t really do that now. I mean, not until my break, and that’s not for a while.”

“I’ll wait. What time is your break?”

“It’s not for an hour.”

Tawny checks her phone before smiling at me. “I’ll come back.”

I watch her walk away until she turns a corner and disappears down an aisle. Returning to prepping food, I realize my hands are shaking. I’m screwed up enough about my feelings for Gunnar, but now life dumps a huge pile of mother issues onto the problem.

My only distraction from the worries in my head is the line of customers waiting for their food. Eventually, the hour passes, and Gunnar’s mom returns like clockwork.

Unable to weasel out of the conversation, I follow Tawny outside where we stand under an awning to keep out of the light drizzle.

“I hope you’re not scared of me,” she says when I avoid her gaze.

“I’m not.”

“You look scared.”

“Sorry.”

“I’m not here to make you feel bad. I understand why you haven’t returned Gunnar’s calls.”

“He told you about that?”

“My boy won’t stop talking about you, and I’ve never seen Gunnar sweet on a girl before. That’s why I’m here instead of letting him handle things on his own.”

“I don’t know how to tell him what I’m thinking, so how can I tell you?”

“I want you to know Gunnar will wait for you. Heidi clued me in on what happened and how strong he came on with his ploy. I think maybe you think you need to decide how you feel right this second because he isn’t a man accustomed to waiting. Gunnar probably thinks he can’t wait another second for you to make up your mind, but he’s wrong. You have all the time in the world and don’t let anyone make you think otherwise.”

“Okay.”

A gust of frigid air circles us, and Tawny zips up her jacket. When her gaze returns to me, I wish I had something meaningful to share.

“I met my husband when I was younger than you,” she says when I remain silent, “and I’d be lying if I said I made all the right decisions. Being young is challenging and falling for a man is challenging, and all the hormones and sex and then everything builds up until you just want to hide away from it.”

“That sounds about right.”

“Men don’t understand.”

“Neither do I,” I say, hating the tears in my eyes. “I care about Gunnar, but the thought of seeing him makes me want to cry.”

“How come?” she asks and wraps an arm around my shoulders.

I’m not used to someone taking care of me. Even Reg only ensures I have a roof over my head and don’t starve. Now Tawny comforts me, which only makes me cry harder.

By the time I calm my sobs to simple hiccups, I realize I’m mourning the walls I’ve tossed aside because of Gunnar. I was once safe from life’s disappointments. Sure, I wanted a car and a place of my own. Often, I was frustrated by how I never got ahead. On occasion, I thought about how little my parents did for me. I’ve basically raised myself, so how would I even know if I was done growing up?

For Gunnar, I ripped away my walls because I wanted to trust him enough to love him. But without those protections, every emotion I’ve held at bay over the years is too powerful. I can’t fall for Gunnar with the walls up, and I don’t know if I can survive falling for Gunnar without them.

“I’m not usually a crybaby,” I mumble and wipe my eyes.

“My sister and I are known for crying a lot. There’s no harm in owning your emotions.”

“Gunnar is special, you know? I guess having someone special in my life makes me realize how the rest of my life isn’t special. I don’t know. My feelings are a mess in my head.”

“Slow down,” she says, handing me a tissue. “Let yourself feel without trying to make sense of it. Gunnar’s not going anywhere. He’ll wait for you to figure things out.”

“Did he tell you that?”

“He didn’t have to. Gunnar has never fallen for a girl before. Now that he has, he won’t walk away.”

“He doesn’t seem like a patient man.”

“Oh, he’s not,” she says, flashing me a great smile, “but he has no choice. If he wants you, he’ll wait. You just need to let him know that.”

“Can’t you tell him?” I ask, laughing at my stupidity.

Tawny gives me a big smile. “I would, but he wouldn’t believe me. Gunnar can be singularly focused when he wants something. Right now, he wants you to want him.”

“I do want him.”

“Just tell him that and then tell him to learn a little patience. Keep it simple.”

Nodding, I exhale slowly and try to regain my composure before I return to work.

“I wish this wasn’t the first time you met me. I’m not normally this emotional.”

“Next time, you can show me the less emotional Vidalia.”

Sharing her smile, I’m relieved by her calm demeanor. She isn’t what I expected. In my head, she was tough and a little scary. Like a harder version of Heidi whose confidence I find both appealing and terrifying.

Even more than her comfort, Tawny’s provided me the permission to keep Gunnar at bay for the time being.

Now if only I can convince my heart to have as much patience as I expect from Gunnar.