Ogre

⊱✿ ✿⊰

Vidalia doesn’t loosen up over time as I hoped. Rather than chilling on the couch with me, she begins pacing just after the sun goes down.

At first, her fear is clearly directed toward me. Every time I speak to her, she flinches and steps back. By ten, though, she’s stopped pacing and now sits on the couch facing the front door. Her terrified gaze makes me wonder what she fears might come crashing into the house, but I don’t dare ask. Vidalia has made clear I’m not a safe option for her.

I’d be lying to myself if I claimed my feelings weren’t hurt by her distrust. I’ve been on my best fucking behavior all day. Kept my cussing to a minimum? Check. Worked on not crowding her which Heidi claims I do with people? Double check. Offered her whatever she wanted even the chance to ignore me? Triple Check.

What more do I need to do to make her see I’m as harmless as an asshole like me can be? Why can’t Vidalia see I’m a sap when it comes to her affections? How am I going to change her mind when she won’t share with me?

I’ve long started sulking by the time I notice Vidalia staring at me.

“What?”

“Can we watch a horror movie?” she asks and turns her gaze to the front door.

“If you’re scared, won’t a scary movie make you feel worse?”

“When I was little, and something bad happened, watching a horror movie made me focus on the fake scary stuff instead of the real scary stuff.”

Relieved to have her speaking to me, I give in quickly. “Let me see what we have.”

Vidalia’s gaze flashes from window to window, watching for movement she won’t find.

“It’s so quiet here,” she says, and her words clearly aren’t a compliment.

“The neighbors have a rooster that’ll crow in the morning.”

Vidalia only nods. Her eyes remain cagey long after I turn on one of the Evil Dead movies.

“No one will hurt you here,” I say when tears fill her eyes.

“You don’t know. That guy could come, and it’s so dark outside. How would you even know he was out there?”

Feeling like an asshole, I take Vidalia’s right hand and keep it snuggly in mine.

“That guy is on the run. He wants to get away from trouble, not look for it,” I say and then add when she isn’t convinced, “If he did come here… No, scratch that. If anyone came here and tried to hurt you, I would end them.”

I make her fingers trace my scarred eyebrow. “I know I look like I’ve had my ass handed to me in all those fights I was in, but I won every single one. I can take a beating without giving up. When I face an opponent, I turn off my fear and pain. I shut it all down until I only see the guy’s defeat. So, trust that I will not let anyone hurt you.”

Vidalia intently studies my face, searching it for lies. “I can’t be here. It’s too quiet and away from everything, and I—”

The screaming from the TV distracts Vidalia for a moment. When she looks back at me, she struggles against tears.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” I say, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “Tell me what you need.”

Vidalia doesn’t answer. Falling silent, she rests her head against my chest and watches the movie. I catch her looking at the door occasionally. She also jumps and covers her face during especially violent movie scenes.

“I want to stay in the living room until the sun comes up,” she says without looking at me. “I can’t relax until then.”

“I’ll stay with you then, but maybe after the movie, we watch something lighter. All this gore is making me worry about demons and crap.”

Vidalia lifts her head and grins. “I thought you could handle any opponent. Don’t you think you could take a demon?”

“I’d give it my best try,” I say and rub my head. “If it comes down to that, I’ll hold off the demons while you make a run for it.”

Still smiling, Vidalia rests her head against my chest and nuzzles the hard muscles. She relaxes in my arms while we watch the over the top bloody end of the movie.

Once the film ends, Vidalia sits up and studies me. “I wouldn’t leave you to die with the demons.”

“I know,” I whisper, caressing her silky cheeks with my scruffy knuckles. “Running and hiding doesn’t come naturally for you. That’s why you’re on edge.”

“Or maybe it’s because a scary guy took a shot at me,” she says, sitting back on the couch and looking around. “But mostly I think I’m not used to such a quiet place. At home, I share a room with two kids. Even when they’re at school, the house is loud. My sister-in-law is always on the phone, and the TV is always on. The neighbors’ dogs bark constantly, and we’re near a train track. This kind of quiet you have here makes me feel unsafe. It’s like I’m in the middle of nowhere.”

“Do you miss the chaos?”

“I didn’t think I’d miss it, but the silence here freaks me out.”

“If you were on your own and could live anywhere you wanted,” I ask while wrapping a lock of her red hair around my finger, “would you still want the noise or would you get used to the quiet?”

“My plan has been for a long time to get an apartment after I’ve saved up enough to buy a car. Apartments aren’t usually very quiet.”

“There are apartments and houses for rent in rural areas.”

“Nothing I’d be able to afford.”

“Let’s say you could.”

“Why, Gunnar?” she asks, glancing at where I still tease her hair. “Do you want to live in the country, and I’m auditioning as your woman?”

“Yes.”

Vidalia blinks rapidly and then looks around. I guess I was supposed to lie, but that thought never occurred to me. I’ve put my cards on the table from the beginning with her. Well, except for the ruse to get her to the house. Otherwise, I’ve been as honest as a man can get.

“We kissed one time, and I was drunk. Why would you even think about me living in the country with you?”

“It was a great fucking kiss.”

Vidalia fights a shiver after hearing my words. Regaining her cold demeanor, she asks, “Are you lonely? Is that why you’ve latched onto this fantasy about me?”

“You say things like latching on and fantasy to make me seem stupid, but I’m chasing you like a man chases a woman he wants. Just because you told me no doesn’t change how I feel.”

“It should.”

“Shoulda, woulda, coulda as my mother would say.”

Vidalia watches me for a long time, and I worry she’s putting things together. I know she won’t ask to go home immediately because she’s still freaked out about the dark. I catch her glancing at the door more than once, and then her gaze scans the covered windows. She’s on guard for bad guys, or demons, or whatever else might cause concern in her pretty head.

“I’d be your friend all day long,” she says, picking her words carefully, “but I can’t be anything more. Even if I want to, I can’t.”

“I get that,” I lie.

“You’re the first guy I’ve told no that I’ve wished I could give another answer, but that doesn’t change my mind about not dating.”

“You’re special to me too.”

Vidalia rolls her eyes like I’m an idiot she’s forced to tolerate. Before my ego gets too bruised, I notice the rosy pink spreading over her cheeks.

My sweet Vidalia doth protest too much. She can blow me off as much as she wants, but I’m under her skin as much as she’s under mine.