Chapter 22

Cami

I needed to talk to Xander about the kiss and what we should do next, but I wasn’t sure where to start or even what to say. Bentley’s suggestion kept playing in my mind. I liked the idea, but I was concerned about how it would affect my friendship with Xander. I parked in the driveway and walked up to Xander’s front door.

He’d parked in the garage and met me at the front door with a smile. “Come on in. I brought in the groceries. The rest of the stuff can wait until later.”

“We’ll need some of that to make waffles,” I pointed out.

“Don’t worry about it. I ordered pizza on the way over,” he replied. “It’s late, and I figured we need to talk.”

“I suppose we do.”

“Let’s go sit in the living room,” Xander gestured for me to follow him. To those who didn’t know him, they might think he was totally at ease, but he seemed nervous to me. Normally, he'd have already made some flirty comment or gesture. When we were both seated, him on the loveseat and me on the sofa, he spoke again. “I kissed you, and I’m not going to apologize for it. Right after it happened, I thought I should because I’d gone past the boundaries we agreed upon, but screw it. We both wanted that kiss, and it was great. Why regret something we both enjoyed so much?”

“You’re right.”

He looked taken aback by my response. “That was much easier than I expected. I thought you’d argue with me or try to play it off as no big deal. I even thought you might call it another practice kiss.”

“That wouldn’t be fair to you,” I replied. “Yes, we crossed boundaries, and I made no effort to stop you. Our last kiss wasn’t a practice kiss. If I'm honest, even the first one was more than a practice kiss.”

Xander nodded. “It was definitely more than a practice kiss. I should probably say this now so it doesn’t continue to be the elephant in the room. As you already know, I like you, and I’d love to be more than your friend. Just because I’m hoping for more, doesn’t mean I don’t know where we stand.”

“There’s a difference between knowing where we stand and accepting where we stand,” I pointed out.

“There is,” was his simple reply. It worried me that he didn’t say he accepted that we were just friends, but it didn’t surprise me. “So, what now? I’m still fine with continuing to pretend to be your boyfriend.”

“Are you really?” I carefully watched his reaction to my question. “Are you sure you’re okay with this not being real? I’m not in the right place to date anyone. You know what’s going on and why I’m not dating.”

“You don’t need to explain yourself, babe,” he assured me. “I understand why you don’t want to date, and I respect that. All I need to know is what you want to do regarding us pretending to be a couple.”

“I’d like to keep doing that,” I replied. “As long as it’s not going to hurt you. I don’t want to hurt you, Xander. You are a great guy and a good friend—one I don’t want to lose.”

“You aren’t going to lose me,” he assured me.

“But you’ve already admitted to wanting more than I can give,” I argued. “This could end with you getting hurt. It could end with you being disappointed.”

“I could end up kissing you again.”

My eyes widened and drifted to his mouth before I caught myself and met his gaze again. I didn’t miss the amusement dancing in his eyes. He knew what I was thinking. When he started to rise, I held up a hand and shook my head. “No kissing. We need to talk, not kiss.”

He chuckled and continued to move toward me. “I promise I’m not about to kiss you, unless you ask me to kiss you. Then I’ll have no choice.”

“Xander,” I warned.

Ignoring my warning, he sat beside me and slipped an arm around my shoulders. “Stop worrying so much. If you want me to continue pretending to be your boyfriend, I will. If not, we can stop tonight. You’ve already promised to teach me how to make waffles. Even if you back out of this fake boyfriend deal, you can’t back out of the waffle deal. I get my waffles, no matter what you decide.”

I laughed because that was so Xander.