CHAPTER TEN
Selena was even more beautiful and intimidating than Olivia had remembered. Olivia cast a rueful glance at her own appearance. She was still in a dressing gown, her hair wild and curled about her head, her face free of make up. In her defence, it was still very early, and Tamir had travelled to the North for meetings he couldn’t avoid.
“Will you need anything else, ma’am?” Eleni asked Selena, her expression guarded as she looked at the Sultan’s glamorous sister.
Selena waved a dismissive hand in the air, and sent the high-ranked aide away silently.
Olivia watched her go, a sinking feeling descending on her chest. She had planned on resting, and trying to get her head around her life in Liya. She had now been there a month, and every day had brought her a new level of pleasure and contentment. But in the back of her mind was the certainty that it would not last. That it could not.
That every day they shared would bring her one day closer to the end of her marriage.
How would she bear it? When the time came to leave Tamir, how would she be able to walk away, as though her heart weren’t breaking? Tamir said he didn’t want their marriage to end, but he didn’t love her. And she couldn’t stay with him without love.
“Eleni said you were not busy,” Selena explained shortly. She took the seat opposite Olivia without waiting for an invitation.
The small balcony overlooked a fruit orchard below, and in the distance, Tamir’s favoured golf course. It was a spectacular outlook, but all the pleasure had been sucked out of it by the emergence of Tamir’s sister.
“Would you like some coffee?” Olivia offered politely, nodding towards the pot in the centre of the table.
“Yes.” Selena looked towards one of the servants and spoke in Talidarian. Presumably, she’d ordered the young woman to attend to her needs, for she came flapping over to lift the pot and pour it into a spare cup.
Olivia compressed her lips to stave off expressing her disapproval. Whatever Olivia might think of Selena, she was Tamir’s sister, and for that reason alone, Olivia owed her courtesy. “What can I do for you, Selena?”
“Actually, sister, it’s what I can do for you.” Her eyes dropped to Olivia’s wedding ring, then lifted to her young, innocent face. Selena could almost have felt sorry for her. Almost. But not quite.
“Oh?”
“I understand my brother had Kalil fired?”
Olivia placed her own coffee cup down on the table and met Selena’s gaze without flinching. “He didn’t have him fired. He fired him himself.”
“Because he caught you desecrating one of our sacred sights?”
Olivia sighed, then lifted her coffee and sipped it. “I did not desecrate a sacred sight. You make it sound as though I took a bottle of paint to the skrina monument.” She smiled to soften her derisive comment. “I wasn’t aware the fountain had special significance. Once Kalil made me aware of my error, I never went near it again.”
“Yet you let my brother fire him, for simply doing his job.”
Olivia glared at the other woman. Her first instinct, to correct Selena’s assertion, was not worthy of her. She didn’t need to explain herself, or Tamir, to Selena. Instead, she lifted her slender shoulders. “You know as well as I do that Tamir is not a man whose mind can be easily changed. Once he decides on a course of action, that’s it.”
“Yes, I know that all too well.” Selena’s eyes, so like Tamir’s narrowed. “Such as marrying you.”
Olivia’s happiness was fast disappearing. “Marrying me was his choice, yes. And it has nothing to do with you.” She replaced her cup once more and clasped her hands in her lap, to hide the way they were shaking from the other woman.
“That is excessively naïve.”
“I beg your pardon?” Olivia coughed, her surprise apparent.
Selena seemed to drop any veil of normality, and plunged headlong into hostility. “You’re naïve. Your entire perspective is wrong. My son is in line for the throne of Talidar. It is his birthright.”
Olivia frowned. Tamir’s nephew was only four years old. “Isn’t he a little young to start planning his future to such a degree?”
Selena’s laugh was high-pitched. “His future was planned from the moment he was conceived. He was born to be a King. Tamir has no interest in children, you know. Until he met you, he had no interest in an actual relationship with a woman. If Marni was still with us, she could vouch for that.”
A shiver ran down Olivia’s spine, as the name that had hovered on the edges of her mind for a month came to the front of her consciousness. “Who is Marni?” She heard herself ask, though she knew Tamir would feel betrayed. That he would not approve of this conversation, nor the content.
“My best friend,” Selena said quietly, her anger apparent.
“I’m sorry. Tamir doesn’t speak about her.”
“Because he broke her heart. He slept with her, and made her believe their relationship was heading towards marriage. But when she said that to him, he laughed! He actually laughed! And told her that, when he married, it would be to someone with a better opinion of themselves and their family than she had.”
Olivia closed her eyes. “When was this?”
“Five years ago.”
“You and I weren’t there, though, Selena. What she wanted and what he said – they’re the only two people who will ever know. And it has little bearing on my relationship with Tamir.”
“Don’t you get it? He loved her. He loved her, but he didn’t realise it. He went to her, to apologise, the next night.” Selena sucked in a deep breath. “He’s the one who found her.”
“Found her?” Olivia whispered, her fingers shaking wildly in her lap.
“An overdose of cocaine.”
Olivia shuddered. “That’s terrible. I’m so sorry, Selena. To lose your friend like that…”
“It was Tamir’s fault.”
Olivia looked at her hands. “I’m not going to get involved. It has nothing to do with me.”
Selena’s smile was deranged by cruelty. She pulled her phone out of her handbag and loaded up a photograph. “Doesn’t it?”
Olivia hesitated for a moment, then took the phone and looked down at it. She could have been staring at her own reflection, except she’d never worn quite as much make up, and never worn a dress such as this.
“Who is this?”
“Marni.” Selena’s tone was victorious. “Tamir doesn’t love you, Olivia. He doesn’t look at you and see you. He sees Marni, and redemption.”
Olivia felt sick. She pushed the phone away and stood up, moving to stare at the golf course. Her eyes were blurred though, her head spinning. She wanted to deny it, but it made so much sense. What other explanation was there, for the way he’d pursued her so obsessively? Why he’d fought to bring her to Talidar?
She closed her eyes and moaned softly. “I’d like to be alone now.”
“Sure.” Selena shrugged, drained her coffee cup and rose to standing. Her dark eyes narrowed. “I’m so glad we had this chat.”
Olivia didn’t turn around. She waited until she’d heard the door to her private apartment being closed, and then sobbed. None of it made any sense. She turned around and looked at the table, and saw only Marni’s face. Marni’s eyes. Marni’s smile. Marni who had loved Tamir, and been hurt by him. Hurt enough to take her own life!
Olivia pushed angrily through the doors, and stared around the room with no clear idea what she ought to do. Her first instinct was to run, but she had no idea how to do that. Though their relationship had developed into so much more than that of prisoner and captor, she was still effectively in his clutches. It wasn’t as if she could simply book a flight home. Besides, when she thought of Tamir, she knew she had to see him. One last time. To let him try to explain.
She showered slowly, and dressed with care. When he returned from his business trip, she would confront him. And she would make her decisions based on the answers he could give her.
* * *
His need to see Olivia was an actual physical requirement. It controlled him. It caused him to conclude his meetings far earlier than he should have. It brought him home in his helicopter, and straight to their palace bedroom. She was not there. He frowned, as he scanned the room, and his eyes fell on the emptiness of their sanctuary.
He inhaled her scent, and it brought a smile to his face.
“Sir, Her Highness is waiting for you in your office.”
“My office?” He frowned as he turned on his heel and stalked across the palace. Why his office? Why not where he wanted her? Where he could be alone with her?
He pushed the heavy door inwards, ignoring the servant who would have done it for him. Olivia was sitting on the edge of his desk, staring out towards the window. She was wearing a simple black dress, with a pale gold scarf. Her hair was pulled back in a loose plait.
He wanted to pull her into his arms.
He crossed the room, but the rigid set of her features made him pause.
“Olivia?” He asked quietly, instead pressing a chaste kiss against her cheek.
She swallowed. Nervous tension was a bundle in her chest. “We need to talk.”
He disguised his frown. “Of course. I trust you are well?”
She made a strangled noise of dissent and flapped her hand to her throat. Where to begin? She closed her eyes briefly, and then stared straight into his dark and solicitous gaze. “Were you ever going to tell me about Marni?”
He straightened, as though a rod of metal had been injected into his spine. “No. Why should I? She is nothing to us.”
Olivia made a noise of disbelief. “She’s everything to do with us. She’s the reason you married me. The reason you brought me here.”
Tamir managed to contain his reaction with the greatest of difficulties. “Your information is flawed.”
“I saw for myself. My God, Tamir. I look just like her.”
Tamir had an odd sense that his grip on the situation was being wrested from his hand. “You do not.”
“Selena showed me a picture. No wonder you pursued me so aggressively.”
He grabbed her hands and squeezed them in his, reassuringly. Promisingly. “Marni was the farthest person from my mind that night. It was all you, Olivia.”
“Don’t keep lying to me!” She stomped her foot angrily. “I saw her.” She closed her eyes, and the image of Marni flashed behind her eyelids. “Were you disappointed when I got here and you saw my hair was curly, and not straight as hers?”
He groaned. “That is ridiculous. I never once thought of you as Marni, until Selena remarked on the likeness. Yes, you have blonde hair, and the same coloring. Your eyes are similar. Even your smiles, in some ways, but I approached you at the theatre because I couldn’t keep my eyes off you. It was your happiness and joy; the way you watched the performance with your whole body. You were the most beautiful person I’d ever seen. Marni did not enter the equation.”
Olivia wanted to believe him. So badly, she wanted to think that there was something real between them. But it flew in the face of everything sensible she knew to be true. “Do you expect me to believe that you married me after less than two days just because I enjoyed watching the orchestra?” Her tone was rich with scorn. “It doesn’t make sense! It doesn’t add up. If the last month has taught me anything, it’s that you just aren’t that spontaneous. Nor are you inherently risk-taking. Our marriage makes no sense. Unless you allow for the fact that I reminded you so strongly of Marni.”
Tamir’s gut clenched with uncertainty and panic. Two emotions that were completely foreign to him. “Selena had no business planting this doubt inside of you.”
“You should have told me yourself,” she chastised, stepping away from him.
“But it is not relevant.”
Olivia pulled a face. “You don’t believe that.”
“I do not wish to discuss it,” he said finally. “I have thought of you all day. Let us go for a walk in the gardens.” He reached out and took her hand in his, but she pulled it away. “Let us walk and forget this idiocy.”
“No! You can’t pretend this isn’t important.”
He sighed, and dug his hands into his pockets. “Your feelings on the matter are obviously important, but they are likewise unfounded.”
She sucked in a deep breath. “Did you love her?”
Tamir reached up and cupped her face. “No,” he whispered. “But I was… affected when she died.”
Olivia shook her head. “None of this makes any sense.”
“Stop thinking so much. This last month has been idyllic. Better than I could have anticipated. Is that not enough for you, Azeezi?”
She shook her head. It wasn’t. Because it was almost perfect. Almost, but not quite. She wanted everything. Not just the shadow of a dream. The whole dream. All to herself.
“You’ve lied to me,” she said numbly.
“How? How have I lied to you?”
Her temper flared. “You lied by omission. You must have known I would learn about Marni.”
He shrugged, as though it were of no importance. “I suspected you would, one day, discover that I had dated a woman, many years ago, who had blonde hair. As for the similarities, they are superficial. I see beyond that. I see Olivia Anderson.”
She walked across the office, her spine straight and her head held high. “I can’t do this anymore.”
Her words were like small stones, being pelted against a thin pane of glass. His worst fears were being voiced, and now she would discover the truth. Was he of a strong enough character to sacrifice his own desires to make her happy?
He walked across to her and put his hands on her shoulders. She was tense. He wanted to pull her against him, but he knew it would only be a temporary solution. “Even if I tell you that I want you to stay here, with me?”
She shook her head. She had to leave him, and it would be better for them both if he didn’t see her heartbreak. A part of her was dying, but she needed to be strong. “I married you because you threatened to prosecute my friend if I didn’t. Can I assume that threat is now removed?”
Tamir had a feeling that ice was being shelved about his heart. He stood at his maximum height. “Of course.”
She turned to face him. “Would you really have done it? Would you really have had Jack brought to Talidar and tried as a criminal?”
His mouth was a grim line. “I don’t know.” He said, finally; his voice gravelly. “I just knew I couldn’t let you leave. His theft gave me an opportunity. I exploited it.”
Olivia couldn’t believe the words she was about to utter. “Will you let me go now?”
The air around them seemed to crackle with nervous anticipation. Tamir’s dark eyes raked her face, his skin was pale beneath his tan. “Is that really what you want, Azeezi?”
No! But she couldn’t stay married to him in these circumstances. “I always told you that I couldn’t be in a loveless marriage.” Her voice cracked, but she didn’t look away from him. “Don’t you understand? I have to go.”
“Is that what this is?” He asked, searching her face.
Damn it, he knew! He could read her like a book. How could she not love him? She had given herself so freely; she had made it obvious that she would forgive him anything and everything. She closed her eyes against the pain and embarrassment. The nauseatingly weak position she had let herself be manoeuvred into. Then again, who would not fall in love with a man like Tamir?
She held her breath, every bone in her body wobbling in anticipation of his response. “Are you going to let me leave?”
Tamir shook his head slowly, from one side to the other. It was his worst nightmare. He had no desire to hold Olivia as a prisoner. And yet he had no means with which to keep her by his side. Not if she truly wanted to go. “I cannot keep you here against your will. I never would have, Olivia.” He put his finger beneath her chin. “I know I pressured you into coming to Talidar. I truly believed you would be glad, in time. That you just couldn’t accept that you wanted me the way you do.”
He was right. She had been grateful, and had become that way so quickly. So fast it made her head spin. How had she fallen for him? Despite the way he’d bullied her into his life, she had absolutely lost her heart to him.
“So you’re saying I wasn’t truly your prisoner?”
He dipped his head forward, and pressed his lips lightly to hers. “No more than I am yours.”
She frowned. His kiss, his scent, his nearness. It was intoxicating. She sobbed silently. “I have to go.”
“You do not have to do anything.”
She lifted her hands to his broad chest. She could feel his rhythmic breathing beneath her palms. The beating of his heart. Steady and unmoved, it thumped solidly and slowly. His heart was not touched by her. Not in the way hers was.
She blinked. He was wrong.
Leaving was essential. Both to her survival and her sanity. “Will you contact me about a divorce?”
He shifted his weight from one leg to the other. He had sworn that he would tell her. That night. That he would be honest with her. But the perfect moment had approached, and passed him by.
“I will handle the logistics.” He lifted her hand to his mouth. He wanted… he couldn’t have said. He only knew that he didn’t want this.
“Olivia… letting you go is difficult for me. Please understand that it is a sign of how I feel about you that I am allowing you to leave me.”
Her heart turned over. Was it enough? Would it one day be enough for her that he wanted her there, even if he didn’t ever love her?
It couldn’t be.
If she only loved him less.
She ran her thumb over his lips, then stepped away. “I really am sorry. About Marni.”
His gut clenched. “Don’t apologise to me, Azeezi.”
As he watched Olivia walk away, he wondered desperately how he could stop her. Legally, she was his subject, and he was in command of all he surveyed. But not her. He couldn’t do it to her.
He pushed the door to his office shut, and forced himself to refocus. A month ago, he hadn’t known she existed. He had lived without her just fine. He could do it again. Couldn’t he?
Of course he could. He was Sultan Tamir Al’ani, and no one: woman, man or baby, could humble him. He had been born to rule, and he would continue to do so, until the day he died. With or without Olivia Anderson.