CHAPTER ELEVEN
“I can’t possibly have another one,” she groaned, eyeing off the tequila shot dubiously.
Jack pushed it towards her. “Come on. I can still see tears in your eyes. Bottoms up, girl.”
She grimaced, but lifted the yellow liquid to her lips. She hesitated at first, then threw it back in one swift motion. It burned the whole way down, causing Olivia to blink and shake her head. “Phwooaaar, that’s disgusting.”
Jack nodded. “You get used to it after a while. How many’s that?”
Olivia eyed off the empty glasses. “Three. Three too many,” she grimaced.
“Enough to accept my apology?”
She eyed him thoughtfully, her green eyes shining in his face. “You know I don’t need you to apologise. I understand you better than anyone.”
“I was an arse, babe. I should never have gone with you that day. I knew it would be too tempting.”
She nodded, stretching her mouth to deal with the unfamiliar and astringent taste of almost pure alcohol. “You shouldn’t have come. But I understand that you’re not a thief, Jack.”
He grimaced. “If you hadn’t saved me, I’d probably be rotting in some foreign prison.”
She nodded again. “More than likely.”
“Thank you.”
Olivia didn’t know what to say. My pleasure? Well, in the end, it certainly had been. In the two weeks since she’d returned from Liya, she’d barely had a moment without her memories being tortured by thoughts of Tamir. His body had controlled hers effortlessly, making her shake and tremble with a single look alone.
“How’s your mother?” Jack asked quietly, running his finger around the rim of a shot glass.
“Amazing.” Olivia’s grin was genuine, and it transformed her face completely. “She’s like a different person now. I mean, more like the mum I remember. Her new doctor is working wonders.”
“At least that’s a silver lining.”
“Yes.” She nodded. One of many. For though she missed him so much it made her ill, she would never wish away her time with Tamir.
“And you? You aren’t really pining for your foreign prince, are you?”
Olivia dropped her gaze. “I… No. Not pining exactly. It’s hard to explain.”
“Sounds like we need more drinks.”
“No.” She held her forearms in a cross formation. “No more drinks. I can’t possibly.”
“Yes. I’m getting you to the point where you can no longer speak. It’s Friday night, you’re young, footloose and fancy-free. Start acting like it.”
She watched him walk away and called after him, helplessly, “Some nachos too, then, Jack!”
He waved a hand in the air by way of acknowledgement.
Mexican food after work should have been some tacos and a glass of wine. Instead, they’d worked their way through a quarter of a bottle of tequila already, and more was on the way. Still. If it helped her achieve a single night’s sleep without dreams of Tamir, then she would drink whatever Jack put in front of her. It wasn’t wise, but God, she was sick of missing a man who would never return her love.
“You know,” Jack said, as he slid into the seat next to Olivia and handed her a shot. “I don’t understand the appeal, myself.”
“The appeal?” She asked, throwing the drink back without looking at him. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.
“Yeah. Of the man-mountain. Tamir.’
“Oh.” Her cheeks flushed.
“I mean, sure. He’s got that tall, dark and handsome thing going for him. But he’s not charming and blonde like I am.” He grinned. “And he doesn’t have my sense of humour.”
“Nor your penchant for petty-theft,” she responded with a tight smile.
He shrugged. “Sounds absolutely boring. So what is it?”
She chewed on her bottom lip, distracting Jack with the way her white teeth moved over the pink flesh. “I love him.”
“You… love him? Oh, Jeez, Liv. You hardly know him.”
She ran a hand through her blonde hair. She’d had it chopped off, the day after leaving Tamir. A traumatic reaction to their separation, undoubtedly. She’d asked the hairdresser to cut it short all over, but perhaps understanding that Olivia would regret it, the stylist had refused, and instead sculpted it into a shoulder length style. It was wild about her pretty face, a complete contrast to the sleek royal styles her attendants had arranged each morning. She teased it with her fingers and focussed her gaze on Jack. He was slightly blurry around the edges, a sure fire sign that she should quit drinking.
She reached for another shot glass and cradled it in her palm. “I can’t explain it. There’s just something between us. Like I’d been waiting for him all my life. I totally understand how crazy that must seem to you, but it’s how I feel.”
He lifted a shot glass to his lips and tossed it back. “You’re right. It does sound crazy.”
She burst out laughing. She was definitely feeling very fuzzy around the edges. “And the sex was… amazing.”
“Meh. Sex is always amazing.”
“No,” she shook her head, and gripped his forearm. “It isn’t. Not like this.”
Jack passed another glass to her, but Olivia was wise enough to realise she’d had more than her limit. She placed it on the table.
“Have you ever wondered about us?” Jack asked, following her lead and pushing the glass away.
“About us?” She frowned. “You mean romantically?”
He shrugged. “Sure. Or sexually. Whatever. I mean, we have a great time together. I don’t like anyone so much as I do you. So what if we could make this work.”
She shook her head. “I just told you, Jack. I’m in love with Tamir.”
“Yes.” He linked his fingers through hers. “But you left him. Two weeks ago. And you haven’t heard a peep from him.”
That was not strictly true. She’d had one email, informing her that their marriage had been terminated. And asking her to call him. She hadn’t acknowledged him. It would only have led to more heartbreak.
“So?”
Jack shrugged. “It’s sort of obvious that he doesn’t return your feelings. Don’t you think you should move on?”
“Yes.” She nodded. “I know I should. And I will. But it’s only been two weeks.”
“Which is half the time you even knew him. Come on! It doesn’t make sense that you’re pining.”
“I’m not pining,” she huffed indignantly.
“You are.” He tapped his finger, slightly drunkenly, to her head. “But you’ll get over him. You’re a good catch. For someone else. So don’t worry about whatshisname.”
She nodded, though his words didn’t ring remotely true. “Thanks, Jack. And you?”
He pulled a face. “Therapy. And lots of it. The thought of losing you as a friend finally got my arse into gear.” He met her eyes, his expression suddenly sombre. “The biggest risk I could take in my life is losing you.”
She felt a small bubble of pleasure in the midst of the darkness that was her life. “You’re not going to lose me. I know what you’ve been through.” She stabbed a finger towards his heart. “And I know you’re a good guy. You just have to know it.”
“I’m working on it.”
Their nachos arrived, but Olivia wasn’t sure she could even look at them. “Jack,” she said quietly. “I don’t feel so great.”
He looked at her worriedly. “You don’t?”
“Uh uh.” She reached for her bag. “I’m going to go grab a cab home.”
“Don’t be silly. I’ll come with you. It’s my fault you can hardly walk straight.”
He was not exaggerating. Olivia hardly ever drank more than a single glass of champagne, and even then, only rarely. The several shots of tequila had made her almost immobile. He helped her towards a taxi and slid in beside her. He gave her address, then put an arm around her shoulder, to keep her propped up.
“I feel yucky.”
“I know.” Guilt washed over him. He loved her to bits. She was his best friend. But he was bad for her. Hell, he’d got her drunk in an attempt to help her feel better, and now Jack was wondering if he shouldn’t be taking her to a hospital. “Are you okay, princess?”
She nodded. “Don’t call me that.”
“Okay.” He squeezed her shoulder, and looked outside anxiously, waiting for the car to come to a stop outside her apartment. Her mother was still at the plush institution Tamir had arranged. And no way was Jack going to leave her alone after he’d force fed her so much booze.
He handed the cabbie a wad of notes and helped Olivia from the cab. “Come on, baby,” he murmured, guiding her up the stairs. He had to use his whole body to help her, and then to keep his arm propped around her waist as he slid her key from her jeans and pushed it into the lock. Finally, the security door gave, and he was able to hook his arm around her waist and propel her forward, up the stairs and into her flat.
“Liv,” he laughed, “You’re really drunk.”
“No shit,” she groaned, slipping out of her coat and almost falling over in the process.
Despite the seriousness of the situation, Jack smiled. “Let me help you.” He was in the process of unhooking her buttons when the door literally flew open.
“Didn’t you lock that?” Olivia slurred, looking at Jack before turning towards the door.
Tamir strode in, and summed up the room in one second. Jack’s hands were on Olivia’s jacket, pushing it downward. His legs were pinning her against the wall. Tamir slammed the door shut in the face of his security agent, stormed over to Jack and pushed him forcibly away. He took one look at Olivia, weak and unable to focus, and he lost all control of his temper.
He lifted a fist and slammed it into Jack’s pretty face. It sent the blonde man flying, but Tamir didn’t care. He turned to Olivia and made a sound of frustration. She was leaning against the wall, for support. He scooped her up, holding her over his shoulder, and marched her straight out of her apartment.
“Hey!” Jack followed after them, but he was wobbly on his feet.
Tamir made another groan of anger. “Stay with him,” he commanded one of his security agents. “Make sure he doesn’t swallow his tongue overnight.”
He carried her to his waiting limousine and placed her on the back seat. She was wearing a suit, much like the one she’d been wearing the day she’d come to his embassy. He reached across and buckled her in, then sat beside her.
“What are you doing here?” Olivia blinked her eyes, trying to focus on him.
Tamir clenched his fists by his side, and stared at her. “Your hair is short.”
She ran her fingers through it self-consciously. “I know.”
“You’re drunk.”
She hiccoughed, then laughed. “I know that too. Do you like my hair?”
He looked at her with an inscrutable expression. He reached out and flicked his fingers through her cropped hair, without answering.
She tilted her head back against the leather seat. “What are you doing here?”
“Trying not to strangle you, right now.”
She flicked her eyes to him, but holding her head up was difficult. “Oh…Go away.”
He put an arm around her shoulders and pulled her head to his shoulder. “Shut your eyes, Olivia.”
She wanted to scream at him, but she was too tired. And too sick. She did as he said, and breathed in his scent gratefully. “I hate you, you know.”
His smile was grim. “Understandably. Shut your eyes.”
She couldn’t have kept them open if she’d wanted to. Even when they arrived at his embassy, and he carried her inside, she barely stirred. He placed her down on the bed that they’d shared the first time they’d slept together, and he stared at her. She was the most beautiful, perfect, frustrating woman he’d ever known.
He picked up the black phone on his bedside table and spoke into it quickly. Then, he sat beside Olivia, and ran a hand over her hair. “Hey,” he spoke softly, his accent thick. “Olivia. Wake up.”
She blinked, but it was too hard to lift her heavy eyelids.
A knock sounded on the door, and she felt Tamir stand from the bed. He returned moments later. “You can sleep, I promise. But first, drink this.”
She made a sound of complaint and pushed up to sitting. Her mouth felt disgusting. “I think I’m going to be sick.”
“Quite possibly. But it’s nothing I haven’t seen before,” Tamir remarked quietly, a smile on his lips. He handed her a bottle of water. “Drink this.”
She did as he said, forcing herself to swallow the ice cold liquid even though she just wanted to sleep. She finished the bottle, then handed it back to him.
His eyes were heavy with accusation, and it made her stomach ache. “Lie down, Olivia.”
“I have to shower,” she murmured.
“No.” His laugh was soft. “Tomorrow morning. For now, sleep.”
He eased her backwards onto the pillows. “Mir?” Her voice was made almost incomprehensible by alcohol.
“Mmm?”
“You’re not going anywhere, are you?”
He put a hand on her leg, feeling her warmth and taking strength from the contact.
“I’ll be here all night.”
And he was. He didn’t sleep. He couldn’t. He sat at the foot of the bed, reading a newspaper and watching her breathing. He would be furious with her the next day, but in that moment, he needed simply to be sure she hadn’t drunk herself into a coma.
She hadn’t.
The sun rose over London, and Olivia rose with it. More or less.
“Oh, crap,” she mumbled, putting a hand to her head and squinting her eyes. “Where am I?” Her eyes rotated lower, until they reached Tamir. She sat bolt upright, and stared around the familiar room. “What am I doing here?”
He set aside his paper. “You don’t remember?”
She closed her eyes, and held a hand to her head. “I drank too much.”
“Yes.” Tamir stood and grabbed another water bottle. He passed it to her. “We can deal with that another time.”
She glared at him with impressing animosity, given that she felt like her head was about roll away from her shoulders. “It’s not your problem to deal with.”
“Guess again,” he muttered, moving across the bed to put a hand on her forehead. “How do you feel?”
She pulled away from him sharply, so fast that her eyes burned. “How do you think I feel?”
“You were in quite a state.”
“Yeah. So?”
“Why?” He narrowed his eyes. “What would have happened if I hadn’t arrived?”
She scowled at him. “Nothing. I would have gone to bed. Alone.”
“I don’t think Jack was on the same page as you.”
She rolled her eyes exaggeratedly. “You don’t know Jack.”
He shook his head. “What I do know about him, I do not like.”
“Then it’s just as well he’s my friend, not yours.”
Tamir shook his head and reached for the phone. “You can be very stubborn sometimes,” he told her quietly, before turning his attention to the receiver. He spoke into it succinctly, then replaced it.
“Why am I here?” She whispered, dropping her gaze to the crisp white bedlinen. “Why are you here?”
“You are here because you drank your bodyweight in alcohol and could barely stand up. You are here because you apparently cannot look after yourself. You are here because I could not leave you in your own apartment with a man who is far from trustworthy.”
She looked away from him. “I had a few drinks with a friend. I did what most people my age are doing every Friday night, okay?”
“No. It is not okay. You are not most people. You are… mine.”
She glared at him despite the raging headache that was brewing. “I am not ‘yours’, Tamir. You have to disabuse yourself of this ridiculous notion that you can own and control another human.”
“I don’t want to own or control you,” he said quietly. A knock sounded at the door. “Come,” Tamir answered, without looking away from Olivia. A servant bustled in with a plate of fruit, breads and two black coffees. Tamir took the tray and dismissed the servant.
“Eat something,” he ordered quietly, placing the tray down beside Olivia.
She looked at the food and shook her head. “I can’t.”
He picked up a bagel and passed it to her. “Eat this.”
She scowled at him, but took the bread. She pinched a piece loose and lifted it to her lips. She was hungry, she realised. She hadn’t eaten the night before, so that made sense.
She finished more than half of it, then placed it onto the tray. “I should go.”
She swung her legs gingerly over the side of the bed, and slid her feet to the carpet.
“No, Olivia. Sit back down.”
She turned slowly, to face him. “Why are you here?” It came out as a plea. A sad, desperate plea for answers.
“Because you didn’t respond to my email, and I know you miss me.”
She straightened her shoulders, and forced herself to meet his eyes. “Why would you say that?”
His smile was wistful. “Because I miss you.” He walked around the bed, so that he was standing right in front of her. “Every moment, since you left Talidar, I have missed you, and I have longed for you.”
She opened her mouth in surprise. But it all came crashing back to her. She shook her head. “You miss Marni.”
He bit back the urge to snap. Just. “Marni was not important to me, Olivia. You must understand. When we were dating, I was young. I had just become Sultan. I liked her company…”
“A euphemism for sex?” Olivia interrupted angrily.
He nodded. “Yes. It was just sex between us.”
“Like it was between us.”
“No,” he responded emphatically. “Stop comparing yourself to her. Marni knew we were just sex. She might have hoped for more, but that was not because I encouraged her.” He sucked in a breath, and released it slowly. “But I do carry a burden of guilt over my treatment of her. I do regret what happened.”
“Do you?”
“Of course.” He reached down and laced his fingers through hers. “Marni was depressed, Olivia. I only realised it with hindsight, but I should have noticed sooner. At the time, I was too wrapped up in myself to care.”
“Then you met me, and you thought you could undo the past,” Olivia prompted angrily, ripping her hand free. “That’s not fair on me, Tamir. In the same way you weren’t fair to Marni.”
He groaned softly. “I know that. I know I haven’t been fair to you. But that’s not because I wanted to replace Marni. It’s because I saw you and I lost my mind.”
Olivia shook her head from side to side. “I can’t deal with this, Tamir. We’re over. This post-mortem isn’t helping.”
“I don’t want this to be a post-mortem.”
“No?” She yelled, lancing him with her angry stare. “What do you want it to be?”
“A prelude,” he responded seriously, putting his hands on her hips, and holding her in front of him.
“A prelude to what?” She was angry and she was tired and she was hungover as hell.
“To the rest of our lives,” he said, as though it were the simplest thing in the world. He wrapped his hands around her back, holding her to the hard planes of his body.
“No,” she shook her head. “I’ve already told you. I can’t do it. I won’t live in a loveless marriage. I can’t.”
Tamir felt the bitter swell of defeat, but he couldn’t heed it. Not yet. “You do not love me now, but over time, you might learn to. I believe I can make you happy, Azeezi, if you give me the chance.”
“You’re wrong,” she muttered. “You’re misunderstanding me.”
“How so?”
She shrugged away from him and sat down on the edge of the bed. “The problem isn’t me not loving you. It’s that I love you too much.” She looked up at him slowly, her eyes loaded with fear. “It terrifies me that I can feel this way about someone. And someone like you.” She jabbed a finger into the hard wall of his chest. “This will only end badly for me, unless you let me go.” She looked down at her knees. “In time, I’ll get over you.”
Tamir was perfectly still. He stared at her for a very long time, and then walked across the room to retrieve his suit jacket. He brought it with him, and sat beside her. “I don’t want you to get over me, Olivia.”
“That’s just cruel,” she said, only half-joking.
“I had no place in my life for love or marriage.” He put a hand on her knee, simply because he had to touch her. “Selena wanted children, and Saf is from an excellent family. Their union made sense, and their child is a safe heir. Until I saw you, I had no idea that any part of me could want marriage.”
Her heart turned over. “You didn’t want marriage; you wanted my body. And that will change.”
“No.” He padded his thumb over her lip. “I might have told us both that, but in my heart of hearts, I knew that meeting you had set off a chain reaction inside of me. The thought of losing you filled me with abject terror. A sense of desperate panic that I have never known. If Jack hadn’t made things easier for me, I would still have kidnapped you.” His laugh was self-deprecating. “Or I would have given up my throne to live with you here.” He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it softly. “I can’t explain it. It makes no sense. But I fell in love with you the first moment I saw you, and I’ve never fallen out of it. I’ve been living in hope – hope that you would come to love me.”
She swallowed. Her mouth was dry. Her stomach felt odd. But now, she suspected it had far less to do with the tequila shots and more to do with Tamir’s impassioned declaration.
“Why didn’t you tell me any of this?”
His lips twisted in a half smile. “You would have thought me crazy, if I’d said this the first night we met. I told myself I would buy time. That I would slowly convince you of our rightness. But then, I fell even more in love, and I discovered I could not go slowly with you.”
“But I loved you almost all along.” She frowned. “This whole time I’ve been stealing myself for the fact that we wouldn’t last! That month in Talidar, I told myself that so long as you didn’t know how I felt, I would be able to walk away, and get on with my life.” She shook her head. “I would have guessed if you’d loved me, Tamir.”
“How did you not see it?” He asked softly, his eyes staring into the depths of her soul.
She shrugged, causing him to laugh.
“Olivia, I could hardly keep my hands from you.”
“That’s sex,” she reminded him.
“And I cleared my schedule for you, day after day, in the end. I wanted to live and breathe only you.” He pulled her against his chest, and stroked her hair. “When I heard what Selena had said to you, I was in the most violent rage of my life. I could almost not believe how furious I was with my own flesh and blood. Had it not been for Saf, I would have written her out of the royal line of succession.” He shook his head. “She loved Marni like a sister, and has always blamed me for her death. In truth, Marni had dark demons that no one could save her from. I didn’t help matters, but there were many other issues at play. And your physical similarities were not apparent to me, until they were pointed out. I promise, Olivia, this is, and always has been, about you.”
She bit down on her lip. “What a waste it was getting divorced then,” she said shakily, unable to believe the conversation they were having.
“Actually,” he pulled away from her, to reach for his jacket. “I have a confession to make.”
Olivia looked up at him, but she was no longer worried. He loved her. Everything else was just details. With his love, nothing could bother her again. “Oh?” A smile spread across her face. “Can it wait? I just want to sit here and digest this for a moment.”
“No.” He shook his head. “I’m afraid I need to lock down this discussion.”
She arched a brow. “Kidnapping me again?”
“Not this time.” His brow was knit together as he searched for the right words. “Our marriage was, apparently, an exaggeration.”
She frowned, not completely comprehending. “What do you mean?”
“Kalil failed to formalise matters.” His lips were compressed. Then he shook his head and smiled at her. “And, if I’m honest, I’m glad.”
Olivia’s heart slowed and thudded. “You are?” Had she misunderstood? He did love her, didn’t he? “Why?”
He lowered himself from the bed, to kneel before her. “Because, my beautiful, wonderful Olivia, it means I get to do things properly this time around. As you deserve. I remember you saying that I’d robbed you of your perfect proposal. And a ring you would look at with happiness for the rest of your days. So let me give you those things.” He lifted a velvet box to her, and clicked the top open. She lowered her gaze to the ring – it was not the one she’d worn previously. In the centre was a large green diamond, and it was surrounded by a circlet of bright white diamonds. The band was platinum, and encased with more diamonds. She gasped at its beauty. “The time I believed myself to be married to you was truly the most joyous of my life. I had never imagined I would want a wife, simply because I always thought I was complete. But I’m not. Not without you. Everything I want in life now means nothing if you are not by my side. Olivia Anderson, will you allow me the privilege of making you my wife for all time?”
Olivia’s eyes filled with tears and she dashed them away desperately. She didn’t want to cry. She wanted to laugh and scream and jump. She nodded, and said, “Yes, yes, yes,” as she slid to her knees, so that they were at eye level and she could kiss him. Her arms wrapped around his neck, holding him to her, and her body pressed to his. “For the rest of my life, yes. For real this time.”
He laughed softly as he reached behind himself and pulled one of her hands down, so that he could slide the ring onto her finger. Olivia stared at it, her mouth beaming across her face. “I love it.”
“And I love you.”
He grinned at his bride-to-be. His future had been planned from birth, but no one could ever have predicted the happiness he would find for himself. King or not, Olivia had given him a Kingdom of pleasure, and he would always strive to deserve her.