CHAPTER ELEVEN
The city was so beautiful. She stared at it from the balcony, her knees curled up beneath her chin, a light breeze rustling past, brushing her hair to her cheek. It was going to be a warm day, but it was still early, and the sun was weakened by its sunken state.
This city was her home. The thought of leaving it did strange things to her stomach. Could she demand that Syed come to Falina to live? Could she change the terms of her marriage contracts so substantially?
“There you are, your highness,” Ashad appeared through the large glass doors, carrying a tray that smelled delectable.
“Coffee.” Appreciation warmed the syllables. She eyed the tray and, the second he placed it on the top of the table, her hands reached for the mug.
Ashad’s laugh was warmth on her skin. “That is the response of a true addict.”
She poked her tongue out at him and sipped the heavenly drink. “I’m not an addict. I just need two cups each morning in order to survive.”
“That doesn’t sound like a dependency at all,” he quipped, sipping his own coffee and scanning the horizon. “Breakfast will be along shortly. I wasn’t sure what you would feel like so I have asked for various dishes to be prepared.”
“Yoghurt,” she said quietly. “Yoghurt is what I eat for breakfast. Sometimes fruit.”
Ashad committed that to memory, adding it to the list of things he knew about Charlotte.
“It’s a nice view,” she said, cupping the mug in her hands. “I love this part of town.”
“Why?”
She arched a brow. “You don’t think it’s nice?”
He moved towards the balcony, resting his elbows on it and took a gulp of coffee. “I think it’s very nice,” he corrected. “I was asking why you love it.”
“Oh.” She stood, moving to take a place next to him. “It’s full of very old buildings. Some of the oldest in the city. Of course, there are the settlements to the west,” she murmured. “The old clay villages that were built thousands of years ago. The huts half-carved into the mountains.” She turned that way subconsciously, even though the modern city blocked any view of the desert.
“Have you spent much time out there?”
“No,” she said with a shake of her head. “I’ve never been allowed.”
“Never? For what reason?”
“The wars are over,” she said with a small lift of her shoulders. “But the factions there are the last to comprehend that. Even now there is fighting and protest.”
“And yet with your security,” he wondered aloud.
“No.” She turned to face him. “I really am very sorry that my country claimed your parents.”
A muscle jerked in his jaw. He nodded, his eyes skimming the buildings. “It is not your fault. Nor the fault of your country. In every society there are madmen. People who funnel their worst impulses into a political discontent that they feel justifies what they really are.”
“Which is?”
“Murderers. Terrorism is simply legitimising murder and violence. People feel it becomes noble if they can give it a political bent. And it’s not. It never is.”
Out of nowhere, tears prickled against her eyes. “Your parents weren’t the only ones who died that day.”
“No. There were thirty-seven victims, including the terrorists. Such a waste of life and potential.”
She nodded. “The square took years to rebuild.” She lifted a hand to his cheek and he turned to face her, surprised to see tears running down her cheeks.
“What is it?” He asked softly. “Why are you crying?”
“Am I?” She ran her fingers over her cheeks, dashing away tears. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realise.”
“Don’t apologise.” A husked command.
“I just keep thinking about the little boy you must have been. Seven years old. So young.” She shook her head, and out of nowhere, she thought of what their baby would look like. Would it have Ashad’s square jawline, or her dimpled chin? She frowned. They hadn’t used protection.
It hadn’t even occurred to her.
She gripped the railing tightly, her mind thundering through the risks they’d taken. True, she was on oral contraceptive – something she had decided to take after Marook, just in case such a thing were ever to occur again.
But he hadn’t known that.
“Ash?”
He lifted a hand and padded away another tear. “Yes?”
“We didn’t use any protection last night. Doesn’t that worry you?”
“Why would it worry me?” His eyes scanned her face as though he genuinely couldn’t understand her conundrum.
“What if I got pregnant?” She spluttered, sipping her coffee out of habit even though she felt like she was choking.
“Would that be so dreadful?” He shrugged insolently. Confusion was swirling around her.
“Well, given that I’m marrying your cousin, yes. I’d say it’s pretty damned inconvenient.”
Ash compressed his lips, his eyes sparked with electric energy. “You will not marry Syed.”
She stared at him, her heart hurting, her brain sore. “I have to,” she said, shaking her head. “This – what we are – can’t change that.”
Ash stepped backwards automatically.
“You know my reasons,” she spoke calmly – surprisingly so, when she felt like she was being torn apart. “The contract is virtually unbreakable. And besides that, my parents …”
“Want you to be happy, surely,” he muttered, slamming his cup down loudly on the table. It was the first noise, but then there was another.
A loud knock, coming from inside his apartment.
“Breakfast,” he said darkly. “Wait here.” His eyes bore into hers. “This conversation is not finished.”
She watched him disappear into the apartment and swept her eyes closed. “Yes, it is,” she whispered to the bright blue sky.
* * *
Ashad was furious. The interruption of their breakfast had come at just the right time. It had saved him from unleashing an invective against Charlotte – and he didn’t want to do that. He never wanted to express disappointment or anger to her. Not Charlotte.
He wrenched the door inwards, his temper spiking, but he stared back at someone who looked, to all the world, even angrier.
“What the hell are you doing here?” Ash snapped, stepping back in surprise as Syed strode into the room, his face pale, his eyes darkened by emotion.
Syed swore in their native tongue. “You were supposed to seduce her, Ashad! Not advertise a damned relationship to the whole Falinese palace.”
Ashad, always so quick to catch on, couldn’t fathom what was happening. He moved towards the bedroom door, because Charlotte was through there, and he didn’t want her to hear who had arrived.
But Syed stayed where he was, and made no effort to lower his voice. “I told you to come here and be discreet! To find a reason to cancel the wedding! You said you’d sleep with her and I thought you’d manage that without tipping our hand to the whole damned palace.”
“Wait a moment,” Ashad lifted his palm, his eyes meeting his cousin’s. “What in the world is going on?”
“Eloise called Adin and told him that you and Charlotte were close to forming a relationship. That I needed to come to Falina and marry her today, before it was too late. I’m not marrying her. I will abdicate any claim to our line of succession if father insists upon it. Did you sleep with her yet?”
Ashad’s jaw clenched. “That is not your concern.”
“How can you say that when you have slept with her at my suggestion?”
The door cracking open behind Ashad was every single one of his worst fears come to being.
Charlotte stood, staring at them both, her skin pale but otherwise a study in regal detachment.
“Is this true?” She asked Ashad, her eyes meeting his for a brief moment before shifting to rest on a point beyond his shoulder.
“No,” he sent Syed a fulminating glare.
“He didn’t tell you to seduce me?”
Ash froze. “He did,” he said finally. “But that’s not what this is.”
Charlotte forced herself to meet his eyes. Her hopes were there, her dreams, too. And her heart, crumpled inside of him, begging her to be strong.
“You don’t want to marry me?” She said, dragging her gaze to Syed. He looked utterly shocked.
“Your highness,” he said with a voice so like Ashad’s that her gut clenched. “I apologise. I had not realised you were in the apartment.”
She didn’t visibly react. “You don’t want to marry me?” She repeated.
Syed moved towards her, and she watched him almost as if from above. He lifted her hands into his. He was handsome. But he was not Ashad.
“I do not believe in arranged marriages,” he said thickly. “I mean you no offense. I have argued at length for this contract to be set aside, without success. Faced with no other options I asked that my cousin intervene on my behalf.”
Ashad was beside them, looking from one to the other. “Something I was reluctant to do,” he said urgently.
“To intervene how?” She blinked from one to the other. “Was your plan always to come here and sleep with me?” She pulled her hands free of Syed and paced across the room, her mind ticking over the circumstances. “No, not just to sleep with me.” She thought back to their conversation on the balcony and lifted her hands to her mouth. “My God. To get me pregnant too?”
“No,” Ashad swore. He moved towards Charlotte but she lifted a hand, silently insisting he stop. “And I did not sleep with you for any reason other than that I wanted to. You know me. You know me. You know what we are.”
“Just like I knew Marook,” she murmured, her throat thick with emotion.
Ash blanched visibly. The comparison made him sick to his stomach. He shook his head, his eyes locked to hers, imploring her not to think that of him. “Not like Marook,” he promised.
Syed interrupted. “Your mother is insisting our marriage happens today. I am on my way to the palace now.”
Charlotte stared at him. “No, you’re not. Not without answering all of my questions.” And she spoke with an imperiousness that had rarely been used to either of the men before. Charlotte was effortlessly taking control of the situation despite her emotional turmoil and Syed couldn’t help but admire the woman’s strength and leadership.
“What questions, azeezi?” Ash murmured. He saw her pain and ached to comfort it. To make everything better for her.
“You don’t want to marry me,” she said, nodding.
“Which is no reflection on you,” Syed spoke kindly, and Charlotte laughed.
A brittle sound that set Ash on edge because he heard the panic beneath the noise. “You do not need to worry that you are insulting me, Syed Al’Eba, as though I have been pining away for you all these years.” She flicked her hair over her shoulder and she was magnificent. “I understand your objection to this sort of marriage. I am not offended. What was Ashad to do here? To sleep with me and then report this back to your father? To tell King Adin that Charlotte fell into his bed and is not a suitable bride?”
Syed, so used to being right, discovered he didn’t enjoy the sense of being utterly, completely, in the wrong. “It was a thoughtless suggestion,” he said angrily – all directed at himself.
“Yes,” she nodded. “But a suggestion is just that. The deed is what I care about.” Her eyes moved to Ashad and jerked away again, back to Syed. “You are released from your obligation. I will have the marriage contracts destroyed. You need not see my parents, Syed. And I would appreciate your discretion with regards to this … circumstance.” She blinked, clearing the heat from her eyes. She looked around them. Her shoes. Where were her shoes?
“Charlotte,” Ashad spoke urgently. “Do not even think about leaving.”
She didn’t say anything. She didn’t need to. Her expression spoke on her behalf. Her face rang with devastation. A devastation Ashad knew he alone was responsible for.
“Listen to me.” He moved towards her but again, she froze, as though terrified he might touch her. Forcing himself to be gentle, he murmured, “I came here to see how you felt. Syed asked me to discover a reason for the wedding not to go ahead. Perhaps you were not as perfect as you were reputed to be,” Ash added. “Charlotte? What you have told me about Marook? This would have been enough. I could have spun that, and your parents’ failure to disclose it, into a reason to void this marriage.”
Her eyes narrowed and her nostrils flared as she expelled a hot, disbelieving voice. “But why stop with one failing when there can be two? One mistake is bad, but two is a pattern, and now you have what you needed. I am a slut, see? How nice for you to have rendered your cousin this service.” She spat the words angrily. “Where are my shoes?”
“Stop,” he was imperious, but when he looked to Syed there was fear in his expression. He turned back to Charlotte. She had found her ballet slippers and was sliding her feet into them. He couldn’t let her leave. He strode to her with purpose.
“You know that I love you,” he said, standing right in front of her, looking down into her eyes. “I am in love with you. That’s what this is.”
And for a second he thought he’d actually said something that she needed to hear. She looked at him for a long moment, reading his face, and then she lifted her hand and slapped him, hard, across his cheek.
“This is not love,” she said sharply. “It is sex and it is lies.”
She straightened and moved towards the door. She paused. “Consider our business concluded. Neither of you is welcome at the palace of Falina; please do not attempt to continue this conversation.”
“Charlotte,” Ash’s voice held a warning.
“No.” She glared at him. “No. It is done.” And now tears sparkled on her lashes, tears that had been cloying at her throat since she’d heard Syed’s first words thrown into the room and realised what a fool she’d been.
She looked at Ashad – allowing herself one last opportunity to memorise his face, because she would not see him again.
She could not.