Rules For Spanking: MMF Bisexual Romance by A. Anders, Alex Anders (10)

I considered our options for escape. We could run two or three miles to the fence, then hop over, hoping that we didn’t run into any panthers. Or, we could head skyward.

“Quick. Up there,” I said pointing at a giant tree whose branches circled it like stairs.

Rose climbed as quickly as she ran. I was impressed. I wouldn’t have guessed that she was athletic. Maybe she used to be a tomboy. Who could tell? All I knew was that I was looking up at her ass as she climbed, and it was the best view on the island.

We didn’t stop climbing until we were thirty feet in the air. I suspected that the pawns had cameras and microphones in them, but if we whispered, we had a chance that they wouldn’t hear us.

“Do you see that view?” Rose asked.

“I’ve seen better,” I said with a sly smile.

“I know that you’re talking about my ass, you jerk,” she said, hitting my arm playfully.

“Hey, the heart wants what it wants.”

“Yeah, I’m sure it’s your heart that wants it.”

I laughed. I had to admit, she had me. Finally alone, I wondered if I could have her… without falling out of the tree.

“So, what were you holding back from everyone last night?” she asked me, getting serious.

“What makes you think that I was holding something back?”

“Because you’ve been holding stuff back since our first conversation.”

“Oh, that’s right. You thought I was a plant from the show. You still think that?”

Rose smiled as if she did.

“Come on. Seriously?”

“You have been one step ahead of everyone this whole time. There’s gotta be a reason for it.”

“So when you made out with me at the beach, that was because…?”

“Oh, that was because you’re hot,” she said with a smile.

“Well, thank god for that.”

“Hey. I never said you weren’t hot,” Rose clarified with a chuckle.

I considered leaning across to Rose’s branch for a kiss. Rose’s lips felt like a little more than an arm’s length away, so I weighed the kiss against my chance of dying.

“Well, you’re hot, too,” I resigned myself to saying instead of leaning over.

“But come on. Tell me. What do you know?” she asked, again becoming serious.

“I don’t know anything.”

“But you believe something, right?”

“Maybe.”

“Aren’t we partners in this?” she asked, telling me how she truly felt about me.

She hadn’t wanted me to win because she had feelings for me or because she wanted to spend time with me. She wanted me here because she thought she needed me. She was like Brad. She was a survivor. It was no wonder she kept him around.

Someone probably even told her about him and Freddy. They must have. Considering how they turned on me, they wouldn’t pass up an opportunity to get Brad eliminated. Yet, he wasn’t only still here, but she gave him the first rose every round.

It was because Brad and Rose were the same person. Brad thought of everything in terms of game strategy and tactics, and that was how Rose saw me. I was just a means to her end.

“Yeah. We’re partners,” I agreed, understanding what she meant.

“Then what do you believe?”

After seeing her for who she was, it was difficult to mask my disappointment, and I didn’t try hard.

“I think that if we do nothing, we’re all gonna die here,” I explained.

“Me, too?”

With that question, she confirmed it. She was trying to figure out if this show would get her, too, or if it was just the guys’ problem.

“I think that if enough people die, they’re gonna start to think that you’re behind it, whether or not you are.”

“Do you think that I’m behind it?” she asked, clearly testing me.

“No,” I said immediately, not even considering what I truly believed. If this was a game, I needed Rose to trust me, even if I didn’t trust her.

“So, what do we do? I know you have a plan.”

I looked at Rose, trying to slow things down. I wasn’t sure if I was ready to bare my soul to her quite yet. “How did you get here?”

“What, in the tree? I climbed.”

Looking at Rose’s smile, it suddenly hit me how many times she had used humor to avoid answering my personal questions. It was certainly a familiar trait.

“On the show. What did you do before this?”

“What does any girl do nowadays?” she said cagily.

“I don’t know. Corporate recruiting?” I replied.

If she could be evasive, then I could be dim.

“No. Not everyone is a corporate drone like you,” she said teasingly.

It was like we were dancing. Neither one of us wanted to give up our secrets. The only difference was that she held the upper hand and we both knew it. I needed a rose tonight. If the roses were antidotes, then for me, it was a matter of life or death.

“I’ll tell you tonight,” I finally said.

“After the rose ceremony?” she asked, understanding what I was implying.

“Yeah.”

I turned to look at the view and a silence fell between us. I didn’t feel like talking. I wasn’t expecting to hear what she said next. 

“Who do you think I should eliminate tonight?”

It was the fact that I heard it without seeing her that broke my heart. Without the smile that she wore like a mask, I could hear the pain in her voice. I could hear how much she hurt and how much she was trying to hide it. It was like a punch in the gut that took my breath away.

I whipped my head toward Rose. As soon as she saw my reaction, she knew that I had seen her. The real her. Not the strong woman she pretended to be, but the vulnerable person she hid inside. She was revealing herself in front of me, and the blood drained from her face as she realized it.

“Never mind,” she said, suddenly retreating behind her wall.

What had I done? I fumbled for words, but she cut me off before I began.

“You think we could just sit here?” she asked. “It’s a beautiful view.”

That was it. I had lost her. We had glimpsed each other for a moment. Not the charming facades, but the guarded, untrusting people who sat at our cores.

I knew what had made me who I was. What had damaged her? It was probably whatever it was that she was hiding. 

I didn’t think that she had wanted me to see behind her mask. Now that I had, I wondered what the consequences would be. I wondered if I would be given a rose tonight.

We sat in silence for another two hours after that. Once the initial awkwardness faded, it began to feel nice just sitting there with her. It was pleasant. Hell, it was even a little romantic with the quiet and the canopy of leaves that stretched out in every direction like lush green waves.

I wasn’t able to see the compound from where I sat, but I could see the fence that separated us from the jungle. I could also see the tower with the light on top of it.

It was weird, but each time I looked away from the tower and then looked back a few minutes later, the light looked pinker. It was like after our beach date. I wondered if it changed with the time of day. However, I was more relaxed than I had been in a long time, and I didn’t feel like giving it much thought.

Our unusual date ended when Rose’s pawn summoned us down. Hearing its robot voice was jarring after listening to rustling leaves and chirping birds for two hours. But I guess we couldn’t escape reality forever.

As our two bots led us in separate directions, I wondered if it would have been better if I had lost the group date. Sure, it was relaxing sitting in the tree. But what had I gained by winning?

Rose and I hadn’t spoken, much less looked at each other, for two hours, so I wasn’t sure whether things were still okay between us. Plus, after winning my second challenge, the guys had to see me as a growing threat. Something told me that I would eventually regret my victory, and man was I right.

Showered and dressed, I joined the one big table for dinner. When I sat, the conversation abruptly stopped. I looked around, and no one made eye contact with me except Brad.

Needing to know what was going on, I furrowed my brow hoping for an explanation. Brad just smiled at me confidently. From anyone else, that would have felt reassuring, but coming from him, it didn’t mean much.

The tension continued at the cocktail party that followed. It lingered in the air like thick fog, but as soon as a pawn arrived with the tray of roses, everything became clear.

“We’re gonna go ahead and take those,” Gray said, retrieving the tray from the pawn. “We’ve already worked this out. You don’t have to worry,” he told Rose.

She looked relieved. Deciding who to eliminate had weighed heavily on her, and being forced out of the decision by a formable and assertive guy was the best that she could hope for. I would have done it myself if I had thought about it. Since I hadn’t, I was forced to watch as Gray distributed the roses.

Without formality, he gave a rose to every guy except me. There it was, my prize for not killing Gray while I had the chance. I would be the one sentenced to death.

“What are you doing?” I asked, assessing my chances in a fight.

“Ensuring our survival.”

I watched as Brad took his rose. He really was a snake in the grass. His smile had just been a ploy to keep me calm.

I looked around the room for weapons. If I was going to get a rose, I was going to have to take it from someone. And maybe it was time for me to do what I should have done hours earlier.

When every guy had his rose, they all turned and looked at me. Would I have to kill them all or just one of them? Once I had done that, how many more people would I have to kill?

“Maybe I could just touch one of your roses. The antidote could be a chemical on the stem. I’ll give it back.”

“You think we’re gonna fall for that,” Mustache Gray growled.

I looked around at all of the guys. They stood firm in solidarity. This was it, then. Their plan was to stand around and watch me die.

Wasn’t this going to be someone’s fate, though? Wasn’t this the only possible outcome after we chose to continue playing the game? If I had gotten one, then someone else wouldn’t have. It was just a matter of who made the decision. What right did I have to live while so many others died?

I stood rubbing my stubble with my hands. I knew what I was feeling. The shrinks had warned me about it. It was survivor’s guilt. It happened when tragedy strikes, and you are the only survivor. The guilt robs you of your drive to keep fighting.

I couldn’t let it get me. Not here. Not over a show.

My movements were quick. I walked to the buffet line and grabbed a steak knife. I slipped something into my other hand and then charged towards Brad knowing that I was quickly running out of time.

Brad backed up when he saw the knife. I knew what he was thinking, but after everything that had gone on, he was still the closest thing I had to a friend.

“Take this,” I ordered. “When I begin to choke, plunge it here.” I pointed at the hollow of my neck. “You have to puncture the cartilage of the trachea. Once you’ve done that, stick this in.” I said revealing the drinking straw.

“What are you talking about?” Brad asked, uncharacteristically shaken.

“It’s what we do on the…” I stopped, reassessing how much I wanted to say. “It could save my life. Please, just do it.”

Brad relented. The tension in the room dropped. Or maybe I should say that it shifted.

Gray couldn’t be happy that Brad had agreed to do it. With me gone, Gray would most likely lead unchallenged. If I survived, he would have to contend with the one person he knew he couldn’t beat. So once again, I was impressed by Brad’s willingness to play both sides of the fence.

With not much time left, Rose became my biggest fan. She hugged me and rubbed the back of my arm. She looked defeated in exactly the way necessary to express how unfair everything was. Sitting down beside me, she rested her head on my shoulder.

Of course, I didn’t believe any of it. She had already proven herself to be quite the actor. Caring companion was just another role she was playing.

Would it have been nice if she demanded that I get a rose? Sure, it would have. At the same time, I couldn’t blame her for going along with Gray’s plan.

My fate was set. With me gone, she was going to need someone’s help to survive. In spite of everything, I did want her to survive. She couldn’t afford to make enemies now.

So, instead of revealing her empty gesture for what it was, I chose to accept it. If this was going to be the end of my story, then I wanted it to end with her warm touch. It almost made me believe that someone could love me.

The pawn’s screeching siren brought me to my feet. It had begun this way the last time. A few short alarms followed by silence and then death.

I stood next to Brad, gripping his shoulder. I didn’t want him to do it too early. I didn’t think Pete was going to offer me any magic dust this time.

My chest shook as my heart pounded. I was running out of alarms. When silence fell, I could feel the effects begin.

My skin tingled like it was on fire. The blood drained from my face while my hands grew hot. At any moment, I would have to let go of Brad’s shoulder. When I did, he would plunge the knife in my neck.

Any moment now. I was feeling lightheaded. Any moment now.

A cough! I looked up. Was it me who had coughed? I was sure that it wasn’t.

I scanned the room. Victor Vodka was struggling to breathe. What was happening? Were we both about to die?

No, we weren’t. Just one person fell. As he hit the ground, the rose rolled out of his hand. “It’s not the rose,” I whispered, as surprised as I was relieved.

Do something, I thought. But what?

I snatched the knife out of Brad’s hand and lunged for Victor. I had to fight his struggling to get him onto his back. I was sure that the position made him feel worse, but if I was right, I would apologize later.

It took one strong strike to puncture the trachea. “Bring me the straw,” I ordered.

Brad handed it to me, and I twisted the knife widening the hole. Victor released a gurgling sound as he fought me.

“Hold him down,” I shouted prompting someone behind me to help.

I was sure that I had done it right. The straw was in. His air passage was clear. Yet even with that, Victor’s eyes turned bloodshot, and the man underneath me died.

I didn’t understand it. What else could I have done? If he wasn’t choking, then what was it? And why didn’t it happen to me? If it wasn’t connected to the roses, then what was causing it?

It was at that moment that I looked up at Rose. Her face was pale. It could not have been clearer to me. She was behind this death. She had killed them all. But how?

 

 

 

“Who would you have eliminated?” I asked Rose.

All eyes turned to her. She looked back at us like a deer in a dozen headlights. Fear rippled through her. Gathering herself quickly, she again retreated behind her mask. 

“Does it matter?” she asked.

“Yes, it matters. Who would you have eliminated?” I pushed. 

Rose couldn’t hide her discomfort. She looked around at all of her possible escape routes.

Brad repeated the question. “Rose, this could be important. Who would you have eliminated? No one’s going to judge you. Our lives are at stake.”

Again Brad had surprised me. The calm manner in which he addressed Rose didn’t hint at the man who had drugged five men before setting their beds adrift and lighting them on fire. Was he even better at playing the game than I ever imaged? Or was there more to him than simply being the villain?

“We won’t hold it against you,” I reassured her.

She tightened her lips as she looked at everyone. For a moment, I didn’t think she would answer, but she did.

“Victor. I would have eliminated Victor.”

A chill rippled down my spine. It was what I had most feared. I looked around at the other to see if they had figured out what Rose and I already had.

Brad looked like he was putting it together. “So you were going to eliminate Victor, and he was the one who died?”

Rose’s tortured, twisted face spoke for her.

Billy didn’t understand what was happening until he heard the words come out of his own mouth. “So you’re the one whose been killing us. You wish us dead, and we die?”

“I didn’t wish anyone dead. I thought we were just playing a game,” Rose said before collapsing into tears.

I knew that I should have comforted her, but I didn’t move. Neither did anyone else. We were all too scared to move.

“Who else knew that you were gonna choose Victor? Did you tell your pawn or something?” I asked, trying to give her a way out.

“No one,” she said, compounding her guilt with more tears.

“This is important,” I emphasized. “If anyone else knew, then you can’t protect them.”

When Rose shook her head “no,” I realized how much I admired her. It would have been so easy for her to lie. She could have said that she told her pawn. No one would have known, and she would have shifted the blame away from herself. But she took full responsibility.

“You did this to us,” Billy exclaimed, growing angry.

“Shut up, Billy,” Brad demanded.

“She admitted it. You heard her. She said there was no one else. She’s the one killing us,” Billy continued.

“Seriously, Billy,” I added. “You should stop talking.”

“Why? She’s a murderer,” Billy exclaimed.

“Stop talking, Billy!” Gray ordered.

I looked around at the other guys. They were thinking what I was thinking. Rose’s desires were what was killing us. And if we say anything that turns her against us, we could be the next ones dead.

“Rose,” I began. “You’re safe with us. No one’s gonna do anything to harm you. But, we need to talk privately,” I said pointing at the guys. “You have nothing to worry about. We just need time to think about this.”

None of the guys said anything, but the scared look in their eyes told me that they couldn’t wait to get out of there. 

“You’ll stay here? Yes?” I asked, trying to remain calm. “I promise you, you’re safe. I would never let anything happen to you.”

I caught myself as I said it the final time. I had mentioned her safety once too often. Each time I brought it up, I was telling her how much danger she was in. But really, how could we not consider killing her as a way of saving ourselves?

“Please, stay here,” I said before turning and drawing the guys out of earshot.

The men silently crossed the lawn and entering the resort’s lobby. Brad looked out the window back at Rose. He nodded, telling us that she wouldn’t be able to hear us.

Gray was the first one to speak. “We have to kill her before she kills us.”

“We can’t,” I retorted.

“Why not?” Carl asked.

“Because she’s a human being, and she’s not doing this on purpose,” I said.

“On purpose or not, that’s not gonna stop us from ending up dead,” Gray argued.

Brad’s tone changed. “I like her as much as the next guy. But I’m not about to die for her.”

There he was, the real Brad, the man who would do anything to survive.

I reasoned with everyone. “What if it wasn’t the roses that were keeping us alive? What if it was her? What if she were the antidote. Then killing her would kill us as well.”

“That’s possible,” Thorin added.

Gray snorted. “So now you’re saying she’s keeping us alive? So what happens when she decides that she doesn’t want us alive anymore?”

“This is crazy!” Carl yelled snapping under the pressure. “This is fucking nuts! She’s killing us, and there’s nothing we can do about it without killing ourselves?”

“Keep it down,” Brad beckoned.

“Or what? She’ll kill us?” Carl asked with renewed force.

“Shut up, Carl!” Gray ordered.

“This is ridiculous. I’m getting out of here,” Carl announced.

“Sit down!” Gray commanded.

“Let him go,” I countered. “He needs to get some air.”

Knowing that no one was going to stop him, he pushed past us. He exited the front door, beginning another moment of silence for the rest of us.

“So, what do we do?” Brad asked, slowly reintroducing his charming smile.

“We have to go to the compound,” I said looking each man in the eye. “Whoever is doing this, whoever is controlling it is there. The only way we can get off of this island starts with us getting there.”

“Didn’t you say it was on the other end of the island? Walking that would take days,” Gray argued.

“Probably about three,” I admitted.

“Days?” Billy asked. “We may as well be playing Russian roulette. How many of us are gonna die before we get there?”

“And did you know that there are wild animals on this island?” Brad asked with beaming smile. “Turns out, the only thing that keeps us alive is a fence. And it’s a long way from that fence to end of the island.”

I wondered how Brad knew about the panthers. Had he crossed the fence like I had? Why would he have done that? Had he already tried to escape? 

“I know about the wildlife,” I replied. “But if we don’t go, what are our options? Even if we killed Rose and didn’t immediately die, what would we do then? Wait for a boat?

“No, we would still have to go to the compound. Why? Because the only chance we have of finding a phone is there. And since we have to go anyway, maybe there’s safety in numbers.”

Brad thought for a second and then agreed. “Ah, what the hell. I’m feeling lucky. Of course, Rose did tell me that she’s fallen in love with me. So I’ve got that going for me,” he said, flashing a devilish smile.

I stared blankly at Brad. I didn’t know how to reply. I couldn’t tell if he was telling the truth, or if he was trying to get into our heads again.

I had talked to her quite a bit. Rose had secrets. That meant that she held stuff back. So, even if she could have strong feelings for someone like Brad, which she probably did, I wasn’t sure if she would admit it. Rose wasn’t the type to just tell a guy that she loved him.

“She said the same to me,” Gray added.

“Me, too,” Bob continued.

“Yep, she loves me,” Thorin said, shaking his head.

“Same here,” Billy confirmed, as if it were no big deal.

Everyone’s eyes then shifted to me. My chest felt heavy. They were all waiting for me to speak, but I just stared back at them with my mouth hanging open. I was the only one in the room who she hadn’t professed her love to. Did she really have feelings for everyone here except me?

That was a hard, no, a devastating, thing to wrap my head around. Not only did that say a lot about the connection that I thought I had with her, but the fact that I was the only one excluded out of this group of freaks hit me in my core.

If she found this cleaned up version of me so hard to love, what chance did the real me have? On top of all of that, if I was the only one left here who she hadn’t fallen in love with, then I was definitely the next one gone.

Ya know, I remember when my biggest problem was outrunning a tiger. Situations like these are why people drunk call their ex.

“Well,” I began, taking a deep breath, “it looks like I’m the only one left she doesn’t love. Yet, I’m still saying that getting to the compound is our best chance. And yeah, I realize that it’s three days, and I’d probably be the first one eliminated. But I’m willing to risk it. Are you?”

No longer smiling, Brad was the first to agree. Everyone soon followed.

“One thing, though” Gray interjected. “Whose gonna tell Rose this?”

I knew what he was saying. What if Rose didn’t think this was a good idea? Who wanted to risk upsetting the monster? I certainly didn’t think of Rose as a monster, but as a guy who just learned that he was hanging on by a thread, let’s just say that I could appreciate his point.

Everyone looked at me as if I was going to volunteer.

“We could draw straws,” I offered.

“Agreed,” Gray said looking around for something to use.

Brad pulled down a decorative thatched palm from the wall and fashioned a few straws. We all pulled. I lost.

Great, I thought. My only hope now is that she would be too busy making bad decisions with all of the other guys to shoot the messenger. Did that sound bitter?

Everyone left the lobby, confident in our plan. It was now my job to convince Rose. I didn’t think it would be too hard. Convincing her to risk her life without turning her against me? Now that might be a little more of a challenge for a guy teetering on the edge of elimination.

Returning to where Victor lay, I realized that we had left Rose with a corpse. I took a heavy breath realizing that it couldn’t have been pleasant for her. I felt bad.

“Rose?” I called out, expecting to hear her reply from around a corner. She didn’t reply.

“Carl?” Gray yelled. Carl didn’t reply either.

“He took her,” Brad announced with certainty.

“Did you see them go?” I asked.

“No. But he did,” Brad confirmed.

“This could be bad,” I admitted. “He could kill her and kill us.”

“He could turn her against us,” Brad said.

“We need to find her,” I decided.

“I can look for her at her cabin,” Brad declared.

“I’ll find some weapons,” Gray said.

“I’ll come with you,” I told Gray, not trusting him to have control of all of the weapons.

“Billy and I can check the camp,” Bob volunteered.

“What about me?” Thorin asked. “What should I do?”

“Why don’t you come with us?” Gray offered, completely out of character. “We might need more hands.”

I turned to Gray. “You know where we can find weapons?”

“We had guns for our last challenge, and we had weapons for the Thunderdome. They have to keep them somewhere,” Gray concluded.

He was right. The bots had given us our guns, so that meant that the weapons had to be stored locally. The stockpile had to be somewhere close.

“You know what?” I said with a sudden thought. “I think I know where they might be.”

It was still dark, but the light from the tower lit our path through the woods. It was as bright as a lighthouse. If it wasn’t for the combination of hills and trees between it and the camp, the light would have kept us up at night.

On the day that I had hiked to the tower, I had gotten a better lay of the land. The bear cage, Thunderdome, and the capture the flag field were all a thousand feet from a small rectangular building. I hadn’t given it much thought at the time, but it had to be the storage facility. 

As the three of us stood in front of it, I realized that it was bigger than it had looked. It also lacked a door. The pawns levitated on magnetic pulses. It had to be a magnetic combination that allowed access.

“Suggestions?” I asked Gray and Thorin.

“Kick it down?” Gray suggested.

I stepped out of the way, giving Gray full access to the door. Four kicks later and the door was falling off of its hinges. I was impressed until I realized that the easy access meant one of two things: either the producers wanted us to get to the weapons, or they never thought that we would try to escape.

Inside, everything was arranged at pawn height. It had to be some sort of prop room.

“I found the roses,” I said looking at the glass fridge filled with red roses.

“And I found the guns,” Gray said from behind me.

I turned to see Gray cock a Carion. It was a gun similar to the one we used for capture the flag. It didn’t have much range, but it was deadly. Considering that it was pocket-sized, I wondered what the producers had had planned for them.

“Is it loaded?” I asked.

“Yes,” Gray said gripping the handle. “And now I’m gonna get some answers.”

Gray stiffened his arm and pointed the gun at me. A wave of heat washed through me. I froze. But then Gray turned the gun and pointed it at Thorin.

“I don’t know who you are,” Gray said to Thorin. “But you’re gonna tell me, or I’m gonna shoot you.”

I wondered if Gray knew he was pointing his gun at Thorin and not me.

“What are you doin’?” I asked him.

“He’s lying to us,” Gray growled. “And he’s gonna tell us everything he knows right now.”

Had I missed something? Sure, he had come back onto the show when he was supposed to be dead. But didn’t everyone agree that that was common on game shows?

“What are you basing this on?” I asked.

“He shot himself in the leg.”

Yes, he had, at the capture the flag challenge. I should have put that together. The angle of his wound was too high to come from anywhere but a downward path.

“Is that it? Maybe he just didn’t want you to shoot him?”

“No. He’s keeping something from us. And he’s gonna tell us, or he’s gonna die.”

“Every person you kill brings your death one elimination closer,” I reminded him.

“Then I won’t kill him. I’ll just hurt him really, really bad.”

Gray aimed the gun at Thorin’s crouch. I had to admit, it was a good threat. Sure, if Gray blew something off, magic dust could reattach it. But would it ever work the same? Who would want to take that chance?

“I don’t know what you think I know, but I’ve told you everything,” Thorin said pleading.

“Yeah. Everything after you were eliminated. But you never once mentioned anything about what you did before you got here. And something tells me that you’re hiding something.”

My chest tightened when I heard his question. What would I say if he turned the gun on me next?

“I was a biotechnician at a research company.”

“Meaning what?” Gray demanded.

“I put chips in people’s head.”

My body stiffened when I heard that. Chipping people was a son-of-a-bitch.

I was very familiar with it because of my work as a corporate recruiter. With corporations getting more desperate to find the next great product, they began hiring “lifestyle researchers.” Basically, what that meant was that they put a chip in a person’s head that gave their research department a continuous stream of everything the person saw and heard.

It was as creepy as all hell, but I heard that it paid well. With jobs hard to find, some found the money too hard to pass up.

Brad had said that he had worked in entertainment. Until he mentioned that he wasn’t chipped, I thought he had meant porn.

The porn industry was alive and kicking thanks to chipping. On some sites, you could watch people having sex from their perspective. And if you were chipped yourself, you could direct connect and experience it first person. I heard that it was better than the real thing.

“What else?” Gray demanded.

“Nothing else,” Thorin insisted. “I went to school for biology, got hired right after graduation, and then worked there for ten years. My life is boring. That’s why I’m here. I’ve seen shows like this. I just thought it would be fun.”

“And what else?” Gray prodded.

“And I thought I might make a connection with the bachelorette.”

“And what else?” he asked again.

“Nothing else. I thought that they brought me back because the audience liked me. And I shot myself because I knew I couldn’t win the challenge, and I didn’t want you to shoot me in the chest. That’s all.”

I thought about what he said for a second. Previously, he had said something similar, but it hadn’t registered.

“You said you thought the audience liked you and wanted you back on the show?” I asked confused.

“That’s what I thought,” Thorin confirmed.

“Is this a live show?” I asked both men.

Gray’s mouth slowly dropped open as he considered the idea.

Thorin’s eyes darted between the two of us. “I don’t know. Isn’t it?” Thorin asked.

“Did someone tell you that it was?” I asked Thorin.

“No. I just assumed that it was. Aren’t all of these shows live?”

I didn’t watch these shows so I turned to Gray.

“No. They’re not,” Gray confirmed. “Who told you that the audience wanted you back?”

“I thought it was Dan, the producer who handled me. But maybe he didn’t. Maybe I just heard one thing and assumed he said something else.”

There was something about Thorin that I found unsettling. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but I was beginning to think that it was his profession.

“Didn’t you think chipping people was as creepy as hell?” I interjected.

“I didn’t think much about it,” Thorin explained. “Biotechnical Conflation was what I got my degree in. It was pretty ordinary to me.”

“But you didn’t think that eavesdropping on every moment of people’s life was sick?” I insisted.

“I didn’t work in that division. All I did was put the chips in and take them out.”

“You said that you worked there for ten years. That means that you left the job. Why?” I continued.

“I don’t know. Bored, I guess. I was a glorified tattoo artist without the art. There’s got to be more to life than that, right?”

I understood that. Thorin the Pale wasn’t menacing. Sure, he was a little weird, but how much of that was him just being an awkward tech geek? I didn’t think there was much more to it than that.

Gray seemed to agree with me because he slowly lowered his gun. I had to give him credit for being reasonable. Maybe I had misjudged him, too. I wondered if things between us might have been different if Brad hadn’t forced us to be on opposite sides.

Tucking that thought away for later, I continued my search for useful weapons. I got an uneasy feeling looking at them. It took me a moment to figure out why. It wasn’t the memories from the Thunderdome that made me uncomfortable. It was the smell in the air.

Had these guns been recently fired? Because I could smell smoke. Wait, that smoke smell wasn’t from a discharge.

I looked around the room trying to figure it out. It didn’t smell like burning rubber. It smelled like burning wood. My eyes darted around the room. The walls were made of metal. It wasn’t here.

I ran to the door. Looking out, I found it. Smoke billowed into the air. It was coming from very close.

“Fire!” I said turning back to the men.

“Where?” Gray asked running out to see.

“A quarter mile. It’s close.”

“Then grab the weapons and let’s go,” Gray ordered.

“Don’t you think we should check it out?” I asked.

“I think we should get what we need and get out of here.”

“You do realize that the island we’re on is on fire? It’s an island surrounded by sharks.”

“Yeah.”

“Don’t you think we should, at least, try to put it out?”

Gray gave me a frustrated look then agreed. While Gray and Thorin gathered the guns they had loaded, I grabbed a couple of axes and shovels. I was thinking about containing the fire.

When we arrived at the burning building, I was happy to find Bob and Billy already there. I hadn’t been the only one who had thought to put it out. Soon after we got there, Brad ran up, as well.

“What happened?” I asked Bob as the swirling flames roared and leapt into the air.

“We don’t know. We saw the smoke and came over,” he yelled.

I turned back to the building. Considering the humming come from within, it had to be the generator room. That was bad.

Pawns were generally good for fourteen hours of power. Eventually, though, they had to recharge. Food would also be a problem without power. Everything we ate was created by food printers. No power, no food.

I scanned the area for solutions. Sixty feet behind the generator room was the water tower.

“We gotta put this out,” I yelled back at the guys. “Come with me.”

With tools still in hand, I ran towards the building. At fifty feet, I hit a wall of heat that whipped my head back. The brutal punch in the face made my eyes water. It burned the air in my lungs. Suffocating, I stumbled backed.

Still dizzy, I slowly circled around. The heat waves distorted the image ahead. The metal tower was the pulsing head of a giant buried to its neck, its green skin bubbling and popping under the blistering heat.

Clearing my head with a shake, the bulbous water tower reappeared. I was already succumbing to the inferno. I knew I had to work fast. 

“Look for a valve,” I ordered, stopping in front of it.

The guys looked around the base of the four legs as well as the ground surrounding it. I dropped the tools and hurried towards the metal ladder. Touching it brought crippling pain. Pulling off my shirt, I wrapped the cloth around my hands and climbed.

The heat sizzled my bare back. I wondered how long it would take for my flesh to burn. Cresting the ladder onto the encircling catwalk, I quickly put my shirt back on.

Searching the belly of the beast for a valve, I couldn’t find one. The only things that caught my eye were below: the lights from the resort and the pitch black over the ocean. They gave me an idea, but before I could think more about it, I had to put out the fire.

“Someone throw me the ax,” I yelled down, fighting the roar of the flames.

Bob grabbed it and offered to bring it up.

“No time. Just throw it.”

I was not a circus performer. I didn’t catch axes. But stilling myself, I leaned against the bubbling hot railing and waited.

The ax came at me fast. It flipped end over end. When it was high enough to grab, the only thing within reach was the blade. I stuck my hand out before quickly recoiling it, and the guys scattered as the ax returned to earth.

“Again,” I yelled, feeling my flesh blister through my thin cotton shirt.

Bob collected it and threw it again. The rotation was slower this time. I leaned against the scowling railing bracing myself. Handle, blade, handle, blade. It was getting closer. I would have to reach out and grab it… Now!

I had it. Pulling away from the railing, I could feel parts of my skin peeling off.

Without hesitation, I aligned the ax and swung. Bong! The swollen tank bellowed under its thousands of gallons of water.

I hitched back and swung again. This time, the metal dented. Feeling the heat mount behind me, I swung again and again, each time harder. When the corner of the ax finally punctured the weakened metal, water gushed out like a fire hose.

With a swing, I widened the hole. The pressure was uncontrollable. The stream of water shot out. It was about ten feet off of its mark, but I knew that one more blow would do it.

I had to drive the blade through the water and hit a point on the far side of the breach. It was a nearly impossible, but I took aim, braced myself, and swung as hard as I could.

The blade entered the stream and wrenched my grip. I was unable to keep it steady, and it changed direction and then flung out of my hands. As it shot towards the ground, the guys dove for cover. 

Thrown against the railing, I got up and looked out at the stream. It had increased by ten feet. It wasn’t enough to completely extinguish the flames, but at least it was on target. Now some of it sprayed the burning building and the rest carved through the dirt.

I leaned over the railing and barked instructions. “You need to dig a trench around the downhill side of the building,” I yelled over the thunder of rushing water. “We can’t let the fire jump to the trees. If we do, we’re all dead.”

No one argued. Everyone grabbed a shovel or an ax and ran to the far side of the generator.

With them out of sight, I fell to my knees cradling my throbbing hands. The vibration from metal hitting metal had rattled them useless, and the pain pulsed through my body mercilessly. I had to get up, though. I had to climb down.

Focusing as I gripped the railing, I spun my body around. This time, the metal ladder wasn’t as hot, or maybe I just couldn’t feel it. Either way, I worked my way down, relying as little on my hands as possible.

Again on the ground, I knew what I had to do next. Running past the still burning building, I approached the guys who were hard at work.

“The trench has to be at least a foot deep and three feet wide,” I ordered.

They heard me, but I didn’t know if it was possible. The water was pouring down too quickly. As soon as someone shoveled a hole, it was filled and washed away. It was a nearly impossible task.

They had to figure it out, though. If they didn’t, we wouldn’t have to worry about being eliminated. We would die in the forest fire long before that.

I turned and began jogging away from the fire.

“Where are you going?” I heard Brad yell.

“Keep digging. We need the trench,” I replied, not looking back.

Standing on the water tower looking down, I had realized something. No one was in the camp. The fire had drawn everyone out. If Carl had set the fire to get free access to the camp, that’s where he was now.

It was more than half a mile to the camp, and I jogged the entire way. The distance wouldn’t have been so bad if every step didn’t shoot a bolt of electricity to my hands.

When I arrived at camp, I didn’t find Carl, but I did find drag marks. Their shaky lines were scraped across the stone walkway and continued through the dirt. I followed them out of camp and towards the shore. And I stopped when I saw what was making them.

“What are you doing, Carl?” I asked demandingly.

Pulling one of the bamboo bed frames, Carl looked at me startled. Worried, he turned to his left. That’s when I saw Rose. She looked scared.

“Carl, don’t do anything stupid.”

“It’s not stupid. I’m getting out here. And Rose is coming with me.”

“Kidnapping Rose isn’t a smart idea, Carl.”

“I’m not kidnapping her. She wants to come.”

I looked at Rose, not believing him.

“He told me that you all were planning on killing me, Ford. Was that how you were gonna keep me safe? That’s what you said, right? That you would keep me safe?”

“No. Rose, he’s lying. No one’s gonna hurt you,” I protested, unsure of how to get out of this situation.

“You heard them, Ford,” Carl claimed. “They wanna kill her.”

“No!” I turned to Rose. “It’s not like that. Someone said something. We all agreed that it was a stupid idea.”

“Oh my god, you did. You discussed killing me,” she realized in horror. “Well, what did you all decide on?” she asked feeling scared and betrayed. “What, are you gonna drown me? You gonna use one of your steak knives on me? Huh? You gonna get together and beat me to death?” she taunted.

A surge of anger rushed through me. “We’re dying here, Rose! Okay! People are scared. No one knows who’s next. People said things they didn’t mean, but we have a plan now. I told you that I would keep you safe, and I will.”

“We have a plan too,” Carl explained. “We’re gonna use this bed frame and paddle our way out of here. You’ve seen them float. You know it’ll work. We could even take you with us.”

I considered it. Yes, the Viking funeral proved that the bed frames could float. It might even be able to carry three people.

“Are you forgetting about the sharks?” I asked.

“As long as we don’t go swimming, we’ll be fine,” Carl offered desperately.

“This is a stupid idea. Where do you plan on going? You just gonna float until you hit land? What about food? What about water? You’ll die in two days.

“Look, we have a plan. We’re hiking across the island to the compound. It will take a few days, but it’s our best chance.”

Rose spoke up. “And what if there’s another elimination on the way? You really think they’re gonna sit around doing nothing as I kill people?”

“And you think people won’t die if you drown at sea?” I countered.

“There’s gotta be a range limit or something, right?” Rose asked.

She had a point. She wasn’t suddenly psychic. Something had to be helping her kill people, and whatever it was had to have its limits.

“But will we all die the second you get out of range? There could be some sort of failsafe. If it loses your signal, it could be programmed to kill us.”

“We could sail to the compound,” Carl spit. “We’ll get there a lot faster.”

That was a good point. With the right currents and a little luck, it could take us less than a day.

“But what if the current pushes us the wrong way?” I asked. “We could smash into the rocks or end up drifting out to sea. Or what if the waves pick up. If we capsize, how long would we have before the sharks found us?”

Carl didn’t get a chance to reply. The sound of men running up behind me drew our attention.

“What are you doing here?” I demanded. “Is the fire out?”

I looked back at the hillside sky. Clouds of smoke still hung in the air.

“It’s out,” Gray barked. “What’s going on here? You making plans with your friends?”

Rose stepped back in fear. I felt the instinct to protect her. “You’re fine,” I said reassuring her. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“And what are you doing with that?” Gray demanded. “Planning on going somewhere?”

Carl stood frozen. The tension was building quickly. And when Gray withdrew a gun from his pocket, things turned dangerous.

“He made a mistake, Gray. Carl thought we were gonna do something to Rose. I told them about our plan to go to the compound. Everything’s okay now.” I turned to Carl. “Right?”

Carl didn’t reply.

Gray snarled. “Carl thought that Rose was in danger? Is that what he said?”

“Don’t, Gray,” I said, not convinced that I could stop him.

“Honey, that’s not why he took you. He took you because he thought that taking you was his best way to survive. You think he cares about you? He’s using you.

“He was the first person to suggest killing you. You know when that was? It was three days ago. He doesn’t give a shit about you. He’s just trying to save his own ass.”

That was a revelation to me. None of them knew what was going on three days ago. So, why would Carl have suggested killing Rose then? I wasn’t sure that true.

I looked at him, expecting a full-throated rebuke, and didn’t get one.

“That’s not true, Rose,” Carl said. “It was Gray who said it. He said it tonight as well. I just wanted to keep you safe. I love you, babe. Don’t you know that?”

Crackling shrieks screamed behind me. Startled, I looked back. A fountain of sparks flew up from behind the trees. A loud boom! was followed by another. When the fireworks couldn’t get any louder, the light from the camp blinked off.

Everything around us wasn’t dark, though. The pale white of the lighthouse tower hovered over the horizon like the moon. All night it had shone the same pale white light, but suddenly it was changing.

Pink hues tinted the tower’s light. It happened quickly. Just as quickly, the pink became coral and then turned to red.

When it stopped, it was blood red. The demonic light cast eerie shadows over everyone. Looking around, only one person wasn’t disturbed.

Throughout it all, Rose had never taken her eyes off Carl. Was she humiliated? Was she feeling used? I didn’t know, but it was clear that she was mad. As my attention shifted between the two of them, Carl began to choke.

Fighting for breath, Carl fell to his knees. He was dying. Rose was doing it. He had betrayed her, and she was killing him for it. Finally, when he lay motionless with a dead man’s stare, the tower’s light quickly turned from red back to a white.

What had we just seen? Rose, the red light, Carl’s death, all of it had to be connected.

I looked up at Rose. She was shocked. She threw her hand over her mouth and searched our faces for answers.

Finding none, she looked down at Carl’s lifeless body. She stared at it in silence until she began to tremble. She was shaking uncontrollably. She was about to fall apart.

“I think I know what’s going on,” Thorin said from the back of the group.

Thorin pushed past everyone settling beside Carl’s body. Kneeling, he brushed back Carl’s shaggy hair.

“Someone help me, please,” he asked, looking back at us.

I hurried over and helped him flip Carl onto his stomach. Again moving his hair, Thorin positioned the nape of Carl’s neck into the light.

“There. Look. See?” Thorin chirped.

I leaned in. He had a small mark behind his ear.

“Do you have a chip?” Thorin asked Rose.

“Of course. Why?” she replied.

“Is there anyone here who doesn’t have a chip?” Thorin asked the guys.

“Yeah, me,” Brad said confidently.

Thorin ran to him, and I followed. Turning Brad into the light, I saw the same mark behind his ear.

“Well, you do now,” Thorin confirmed.

“That’s impossible. How?” Brad protested.

“What about me?” Thorin asked showing me his neck.

“Yeah, it’s there,” I confirmed.

“I didn’t have one either,” Thorin said deflated. “But now, it looks like we all do. I think I know why I’m here. I know why they sent me back.”

 

 

 

Billy suddenly snapped the tension. “I don’t understand. It wasn’t time yet. We just had an elimination. Why did Carl die?”

“Neuropathic inceptors,” Thorin explained. “Everyone here has been chipped. And if I’m right, then they’re like the ones I put in product testers.” He paused. “Well, maybe not exactly those ones. These seemed to be getting a signal from the tower.”

“I don’t get it,” I admitted. “So, the tower’s killing people?”

“Not exactly. I think that the tower is reading Rose’s neuro patterns. When Rose makes a decision about someone—it could be subconscious, it could just be her losing interest in them—but, whatever triggers it, her chip sends a signal to the tower. The tower then transmits the signal to a local computer, then that computer sends a kill signal to the chip in whoever Rose has lost interest in.”

Brad stepped forward. “So we can end this by taking down the tower, right? No tower, no signal.”

“Chips are continuously looking for a signal. It would be like a dead man’s switch,” Thorin said.

“Dead man’s switch?” Brad asked.

I answered. “A dead man’s switch is like when a dying man holds a grenade knowing that once he dies, he’ll let go of the trigger and the grenade will explode. Thorin’s saying that if we kill the tower, we’ll all die.”

“Then what do we do?” Billy asked. “Are we supposed to just sit around trying not to upset her until we’re all dead?”

“No. He can take the chips out,” Gray replied. “You said that was your job, right?” he asked, turning to Thorin.

“Yeah, but…” Thorin said, hesitating.

“Then take them out!” Gray ordered.

“With what? A coconut and toilet paper?” Thorin spit in terrified outrage. “I worked in a sterilized lab with specialized equipment. I could kill you trying to take it out.”

“That’s not what we’re gonna do,” I told everybody.

“Okay, big man,” Gray said, turning to me challengingly. “You tell us. What are we gonna do?”

“We’re heading to the compound. It’s what we all agreed to do. And it’s the only place on the island where we can shut off the chips.”

“And that’s what we’re all gonna do,” Gray commanded.

Stepping forward, Gray’s demeanor had instantly changed. He was standing taller and speaking in a lower register.  He reminded me of a boy trying to impress a girl on the playground.

“We’re gonna follow the coast to the compound. And when we get there, Thorin will take these chips out of our heads,” Gray confirmed.

“That’s a bad plan,” I interrupted.

“Well, if you want to leave yours in, then go ahead,” Gray said with a glare.

“Not that part. We shouldn’t follow the coast. That would put our backs against the shark infested water. If something attacks us, we won’t have anywhere to go.”

“Then we fight,” Gray announced. “You scared to do a little fighting?”

I looked at Gray. Had he forgotten that I had whipped his ass every time he came up against me? I guess some guys just didn’t know when they were beaten.

“Let’s put it to a vote,” I said, knowing there was an easier way of defeating him.

“Okay,” he agreed. “Who here wants to leave themselves open to being attacked from either side?”

No one raised their hand. Even I didn’t at first. The man knew how to misrepresent an idea.

“And who wants to follow the coastline to a building which is also on the coast?”

Brad, Thorin, Bob, Billy, and Gray all raised their hands. I had to admit, he had outplayed me with that one. My only shot at changing everyone’s mind lay in the only person who hadn’t voted, Rose.

“Rose. What do you think? You wannna take the fastest path there? Or do you want to travel the entire way without an escape route if… I mean, when something large attacks us?” Obviously, two people could play that game.

“I don’t know,” Rose whispered. “I’ll do whatever you all decide. I don’t want to be responsible for anyone else getting hurt.”

I looked closer at Rose. She was still shaking. Again, I had forced her into a no-win situation.

I had gotten too caught up in my pissing contest with Gray to realize what this tension was doing to her. Either directly or indirectly, she was responsible for everyone’s death. She knew it, and it was tearing her apart.

“There you have it,” Gray concluded. “We’re gonna stay here tonight. At the first sign of light, we’re heading to the coast.”

Gray looked at me to see if I would challenge him. I didn’t. It was still a bad plan, but I was going to let him have it.

I was more concerned about making sure Rose was alright. I decided to subtly keep an eye on her. As I watched her, I learned some unexpected things.

Although she stood tall and stuck out her chin, her hands were shaking. She was trying hard to appear unaffected and strong, but it was just an act. She was scared and devastated by all of this. It broke my heart.

But then, the longer I watched, the more I admired her for just remaining upright. Most people would have collapsed under the same weight, but Rose didn’t. It made me wonder where her strength came from. What could have forged her mettle? She had to have gone through a lot in her life.

Apparently, Rose wasn’t just a girl on a game show looking for love. There was more to her than I had ever imagined. I really liked that.

Gray ordered us to sleep in one room. I didn’t have a problem with that. I was done with fighting for the sake of fighting, and I was comfortable with letting him take the lead for the time being.

The only thing I did have a problem with was how Gray had distributed the guns. As far as I could tell, he had brought back three of them. He gave one to Bob, one to Billy, and kept the third one for himself.

Both Bob and Billy were his “group date” allies. It seemed that Gray was still treating this nightmare like a game show. I was the person most likely to be eliminated next, so I didn’t think this was the time for silly alliances and show tactics. Considering that Buck-Naked Billy was wearing pants for the first time since we got here, I was sure that Gray’s ally would agree with me.

Back at the prop room, I was open to giving Gray a second chance. But if he kept this up, sooner or later, he and I were gonna have a problem. He didn’t want that. 

By first light, we were all awake. Unable to relax my mind, I only got a few hours of sleep. It wasn’t nearly enough, but it was too late now. It was time for us to get ready to head out.

After the fireworks from the night before, the power never came back on. We guessed it meant that the pawns and food printers were dead. We couldn’t be sure about the pawns, but searching the kitchen for food proved we were right about the printers.

Abandoning our hope for anything cooked, we searched the kitchen for anything edible. It was set up like it was once used for manual cooking, but all we found were printer supplies.

After our failed search for food, everyone else filed out. I remembered the panther and looked for one last thing: a butcher’s knife. There was no way I was going back into the jungle unarmed. And preferring that Gray think I was defenseless, I pushed the blade through the seam in my pocket to hide it.

I caught up with the others, and with just the guns, my knife, and the clothes on our back, we headed to the coast. I liked having everyone in front of me, so I took up a position at the back of the group. Thorin just ahead of me, and watching him, I remembered that I had a question for him.

“You said that the chips in our heads are like the ones you implanted?” I asked him.

“I can’t be sure until I look at them. But they have to be close,” Thorin explained.

“Does that mean that there are people watching everything we do and listening to everything we say?”

“Probably.”

“And you said you thought the audience liked you?” I asked, getting to the heart of the matter.

“I thought that was what Dan had said. But I can’t be sure anymore.”

“Dan, the producer?” I clarified.

“Yeah.”

“So do you think that’s what’s happening; people are paying to tap into our chips to watch us die? Do you think that’s the premise of this game show?”

Thorin looked at me with awe. “I… never thought about that. You might be right. Wow. Yeah, that works,” he confirmed with a growing smile.

I didn’t share Thorin’s delight. I might have figured out why we were dying, but it didn’t stop me from becoming the next corpse. And dropping back from Thorin, I considering what this all meant.

Literally, a million people could be seeing the world through my eyes, right at this very moment. They could have seen every private moment I had on the island. Every time I went to the bathroom. Every time I took a shower. It was a creepy thought.

I guess that would explain why I never saw any cameras. We were the cameras. Maybe people paid to watch us like they paid for porn. You could choose one perspective for a certain price or pay more for multiple perspectives.

It was all sick. I wasn’t sure how I had gotten myself involved in this insanity.

It took twenty minutes to arrive at the coast. Once there, we followed it east. The elevation increased slowly, so an hour later, when we got to the fence, we were forty feet above sea level. Staring down the cliff face, we found that the chain link wrapped over the edge like a fan.

“Over or around,” I asked the group.

“Over,” Gray declared.

“Yeah. I think over,” Brad agreed.

I looked at Rose. She was staring intensely at the razor wire curling across the top. So as the others planned their route over, I subtly approached her and whispered. “What’s the matter?”

“Nothing,” she replied, unable to hide the dread she felt.

“You know you can trust me, right?” I told her with a comforting smile.

“Can I?”

“Yeah,” I reassured her.

She looked away without a reply.

“Rose, I’m gonna keep you safe. I understand that things are the way they are. None of us can help the way we feel. But none of that matters. You didn’t ask to be in this position. You’re a victim like everyone else here. And I want you to know that I’ll protect you.”

“And what if I don’t need you to protect me?” she asked dryly.

“Then I’ll have more time to catch up on my reading,” I said, playfully.

Rose smiled. “Oh, did you bring a book.”

“A book? No, no. I read the leaves and the stars,” I said with a coy smile.

“I didn’t realize you were so into nature.”

“Absolutely. I was born in nature. Nature is my favorite place to have sex.”

“Nature is your favorite place to have sex?”

“Naturally.”

She looked at me, still smiling. “Wait. You like having sex in nature, or ‘naturally, you like having sex.’”

“Absolutely,” I confirmed, teasingly.

Rose chuckled. “Naturally.”

Rose looked back at the fence with a big smile on her face. She thought for a moment before speaking again.

“What if I told you what was wrong, and you couldn’t do anything to protect me. What would you do then?” she asked.

I thought for a moment. “I’d probably die trying,” I said, still smiling.

“Yeah, I’m sure you would,” she replied ambiguously.

Rose paused again.

“I don’t think that I can make it over the fence,” she admitted.

“You don’t think you can climb it, or…?”

“The razor wire. I don’t think I’m tall enough. I think I’m gonna try to climb over it, but I’m gonna fall onto the razors. I don’t think I can get over it. But please don’t say anything. Okay?”

“Rose…”

She cut me off. “Please don’t. You know what? I shouldn’t have said anything. It was a mistake. Just forget what I said.”

“Rose…?

“I’m fine. Okay? I’ll handle it. I’m fine,” she protested before joining the others at the fence.

I watched Rose as she slowly disappeared behind her mask. As she shook the fence testing its strength, I considered what I could do to help her.

“I think we should go around,” I announced grabbing everyone’s attention.

“Yeah, right,” Gray scoffed.

“No. I mean it. We’re going around.”

Brad approached me presenting his usual charm. “Ford, it’s a forty foot drop. Don’t be ridiculous. We can just go over it.”

“And you’re outnumbered,” Gray pointed out. “Besides. I’m in charge, and we’re going over. All of us.”

“No, we’re not. I’ve been over this fence. The razor wire got me pretty bad. If it wasn’t for the magic dust I might have died.”

I decided to leave out the part of the story that didn’t help my argument.

“And now, the pawns are gone, and our magic dust is gone. That means that whatever injuries we get from here on out, we keep. So I’m gonna scale the side of the cliff. And I’m taking Rose with me.”

“No, you’re not,” Gray declared.

“Yes, I am,” I said, not giving him an inch.

Gray sized me up. When he realized that he would have to go through me to stop me, he wisely backed down. I could see him boiling on the inside.

“We’ll go around,” Gray announced. “Bob you go first, followed by Rose, and then the rest of us.” He turned to me. “You’re goin’ last.”

I wasn’t sure what he was doing there. If he thought going around was dangerous, he should have had me go first. What else did he have in mind?

After a quick search, I found a path that scaled the cliff face. It was narrow, but it dipped below the chain link and spanned the crumbling limestone. My guess was that it had been used for the fence’s construction. As it was only wide enough now to hold the balls of our feet, I was sure that they had tried to destroy it after the fence was complete.

Bob was the first to test the path. It held under his heavy weight. Grabbing onto the grass above, he worked his way down. When the grass was out of reach, he gripped the pockets in the limestone.

Methodically securing each hand before shuffling his feet, Bob moved slowly. It was dangerous. The explosions as the waves crashed onto the jagged rocks below sent my heart racing.

Rose glared at me as she prepared to go next. I wondered if she thought I betrayed her. When I offered her my hand to help her onto the path, she refused it. She didn’t even look at me.

Kneeling in front of me, she gripped the grass. She matched Bob’s movements exactly. Stepping onto the small crumbling ledge, she slowly descended out of sight.

Next up was Brad. Thorin and Billy followed him. And when it was Gray’s turn, he took a hard look at me. There was something dark behind his eyes. I was expecting for him to pull out his gun, but he didn’t.

With Gray working his way across the cliff face with everyone else, it was finally my turn. Heights had never been a problem for me, but as soon as I let go of the tufts of grass and transferred my weight onto the path, I knew I was in danger.

Without magic dust, falling would mean death, so when the ledge wobbled beneath me, I sunk my fingertips into the limestone. The stone crumbled in my hands, and I pressed my chest against the rock.

Even as my pulse thundered in my ears, I knew that I couldn’t stop or turn back. So I took another step. As I did, the crumbling path sent me to my toes.

When the stone ledge collapsed from under me, the limestone crumbled in my hands. The cliff face rushed past me in a cloud of dust. My heart was in my throat as I fell. As I struggled to grip onto anything, my face hit the wall, whipping my head back.

Sure that the jagged rocks below were about to break my fall, I held my breath. When I did, I realized that I had stopped. My arms were stretched and my fingers were hooked. I was hanging onto a limestone pocket. I was alive.

I scrambled, knowing that my new supports could break at any moment. My foot scraped the wall in search of a hole. I found one, and relieving some of the pressure from my fingers, I loosened my hold to find a better grip.

My heart slammed against my chest as I caught my breath. I understood why Gray had wanted me to go last. His plan was to get rid of me.

“Are you alright?” Rose yelled down.

“Yeah, I’m good. Just keep going. Don’t look down. I’ll be alright,” I said, unsure if I would be.

I gathered my thoughts with a few deep breaths and then quickly assessed my injuries. Nothing felt broken, though my face stung. Also, the butcher knife in my pocket had drawn blood. Other than that, I was fine.

I next looked around gauging my options. I could either climb down and hope that there was another way up, or I could climb back up now. I thought about Rose being left alone with Gray and immediately reached up in search of a divot.

With my chest flat against the rock face, I slithered back up. It was hard. My forearms and calves burned. About halfway up, my legs wobbled, and I stopped, not sure if I could continue.

“You can do it,” Rose yelled from above.

I looked up. She was staring down at me from on top of the plateau, and she looked terrified.

Rose was scared for me. Not for herself, purely for me. I hadn’t realized until that moment that she even cared. After that, all I wanted to do was wrap my arms around her and hold her.

With my muscles still burning, the only thing I could do was hug the wall. I looked down. The waves roared as they crashed on the sharp rocks below. I didn’t think I could survive that.

So, unable to go up and not wanting to go down, I closed my eyes and centered myself. I took a deep breath and cleared my mind. I knew that I was running out of time. I had to make a decision. Either I was the type of guy who gave up or the type that didn’t.

With my legs no longer shaking, I looked around for another pocket. I found one. It was easier to reach than I had thought it would be. I stretched out my leg and touched it. And pressing my chest against the stone, I shifted my weight across and stepped up. I had done it.

I felt a surge of energy come over me after that. Everything seemed easier. I looked up again. They were all across the fence, looking down at me. Almost everyone was holding their breath.

Less than five feet from the top, I stopped. I knew that only one thing could prevent me from getting off the cliff face.

“Everyone who dies brings you one day closer to death,” I yelled up. “If I fall, it could be you tonight. If I live, it’s probably me. She hasn’t told me that she loves me. Remember that.”

No one responded, and I didn’t move. It was a standoff.

I looked up again. They were all staring down at me speechless. Everybody, except for one person.

“Are you just gonna stay there, or are you gonna get your ass up here?” Gray asked angrily.

He had realized that I had been talking to him. I didn’t know what he was planning, but he would only have a couple of reasons why he would have wanted me to follow him. Most of them involved him tossing me off the cliff.

I reached, finding another limestone handle. One step at a time I inched up until finally there was nothing but grass to grab. I felt a hand around my wrist and knew it was Gray’s. The moment had come.

I shifted my weight to his hand and felt a sudden drop. I wasn’t falling. It was the transfer of weight to his grip. He slowly pulled me over the edge, and when I was on solid ground, he released me.

“Now, let’s go,” Gray ordered resentfully.

It took a while for my exhausted muscles to stop trembling. By the time I stood up, Rose was the only one still waiting for me. She had stared at me blankly the entire time. It felt like she was going to tell me that she loved me, too, but she didn’t. She offered me her hand. Her gesture moved me.

Rose and I walked together for four hours before Brad called for a men’s meeting. I looked at Rose for her reaction and found her hugging herself vulnerably. Men’s meetings made her uncomfortable, but it couldn’t be helped. She held our lives in her hands whether she liked it or not, and that was at least worth its own support group.

“We should each get some private time with her,” Brad suggested looking directly at me.

“That’s a good idea,” Gray agreed.

I understood why they wanted it, but I had liked keeping her close. It was the only way I knew she would be safe.

“How do we know someone isn’t gonna try and hurt her,” I asked, unintentionally looking at Gray.

“What could someone do?” Gray asked.

“There’s a lot, actually,” Brad countered with a smile.

Gray thought for a second. “Rose is a smart girl. And something tells me that she could defend herself. Besides, I think everyone remembers what happened to Carl. Who’s gonna risk being anything but nice to her?”

He had a point. No one left was that stupid. “Okay. I’m on board.”

“Then it’s agreed. And since it was my plan, I’ll go first,” Brad announced.

Clearly, Brad had some type of plan. I figured that Rose was probably safe. The rest of us, though, we were screwed.

Having drawn the short straw back at camp, it was my job to tell Rose about our plan. When I did, I learned that her feeling of guilt had its limits. She looked at me challengingly and was about to object when I mentioned that Brad would be first.

Once she heard that, her mood changed. Joy washed over her, and she was suddenly excited about the plan. The shift rattled me. Why was she so happy to spend time alone with Brad? I didn’t like that.

Brad stepped up, took Rose’s hand and dropped behind the group as the rest of us continued walking. I looked around at the others. Everyone looked tense.

They were probably all jealous. I certainly wasn’t, but I guess, they all had a right to be. She had professed her love to them. So, of course they were going to be jealous.

Also, who does that? Who tells five different guys that she’s in love with them?  Just the thought of someone tossing around feelings so casually made me mad… No. It made me…

Wait, was I jealous?

Why? I had no reason to be jealous. This was all just a game. Nothing happening on the show was real, except our dying, of course.

Maybe that was it. Maybe I was scared of dying.

I thought about it as I continued to walk. Never in my life had I wished harder to be scared of dying, but I knew that wasn’t it. She had gotten her grips into me, and I cared about her more than I felt that I should.

I was willing to sacrifice my life to keep her safe, even if she didn’t feel the same for me. I was hooked on her. And the damn thing was that every guy here was probably just as hooked.

Gray looked at me when I growled under my breath. I ignored him, but his gaze reminded me how much of an idiot I was for feeling anything for her at all.

Hell, a part of me was hoping for another animal attack. At least with blood-thirsty predators, I had a chance of walking away in one piece. Against Rose, I was becoming defenseless.

I mean, not that I was falling in love with her or anything. I was just feeling jealous, and the only reason I was jealous was because… I don’t know. I enjoyed being with her. I felt good whenever I talked to her. And she was beautiful. Yeah, she was really beautiful. And she has a strength about her that… Oh, crap! I’m in love with Rose.

I immediately forced myself to think about something else. Certainly, I had more important things to be focusing on, such as a way that we could shorten our trek.

Better yet, someone needed to start thinking about food. I was beginning to get hungry, and some of the plants around us had to be edible. Of course, the only person who knew which ones were edible was our botanist, and Brad was spending alone time with Rose, damn it.

“Hasn’t it been thirty minutes?” Thorin asked to the chorus of five men grinding their teeth.

“I think so,” I said casually.

I needed to get Brad away from Rose. Out of everyone, Thorin was the least threatening. If Rose’s desires were keeping us alive, then Thorin was probably safe. As the only person who knew how to get the chips out, she wasn’t going to eliminate him, but I could never imagine her actually having feelings for Thorin the Pale.

“You should let him know his time’s up,” I said, encouraging Thorin.

When Brad returned to the group, he was sporting his familiar smile. I was beginning to hate that smile. He caught up to me and slapped me on the shoulder. Gripping my neck, he pulled me to him in a brotherly gesture, that bastard.

“We’re gonna need food,” I said pulling away from him. “Which of these can we eat?”

“Who knows? But I can tell you which ones can get you high,” he joked.

Earlier he had hinted that he had crossed the fence. I suddenly realized why. He had needed the ingredients for his drugs. Wasn’t that why he had visited Rose in her cabin?

I then turned looking into Brad’s eyes. His pupils were like saucers. He was as high as a kite.

That’s why Rose was so happy to be alone with Brad. She’d needed a botanical stress relief.

I did everything I could to contain my joy. It wasn’t that Rose loved Brad. She just needed him to get her high. What a friggin’ relief that was!

I threw my arm around Brad’s shoulder grabbing the meat of his neck. I would have kissed him if I didn’t think he would get the wrong idea. Instead, I held him, patting his chest.

“I bet you could get us high, couldn’t you? But how about you buy me dinner first?”

Brad looked at me, surprised.

Yeah, that sounded a little flirty, but I didn’t care. I was feeling good, and Brad was my friend again.

Thirty minutes after Thorin had left, Gray dropped back. When Thorin returned, he wasn’t nearly as happy as Brad had been. It made me wonder if a guy like Thorin believed he had a shot with a woman like Rose.

Sure, I could believe that Thorin had feelings for her, but he had to have figured her out by now. She made us do all of those physical challenges for a reason. It was because she wanted a guy who could protect her. She wanted a guy like…

I hadn’t considered it before, but what she wanted was a guy like me, actually. I would do anything to protect her, and she knew that.

We had kissed a couple of times. In fact, if it hadn’t been for the sharks, we would have done a lot more. And I did save her from the shark attack. Also, she did say that she was hoping that I would win the capture the flag challenge. So, would it be crazy to think that she might have feelings for me, too?

Brad told me what mushrooms to look for, and I looked for dinner while my mind wandered to thinking about Rose. I was definitely in love with her, and whether or not she said it, I was beginning to believe that she might love me back.

It had been a long time since I felt it, but the thought that Rose loved me filled me with hope. Yep, I said it, hope. It filled me with hope and made me smile. It lifted a weight from my shoulders that I didn’t even know I was carrying.

I hadn’t come to the island looking for love. I wasn’t even sure if I was capable of loving someone again. Yet, for the first time in five years, I thought that I could. I had to admit, it felt really good.

When Gray’s thirty minutes were up, I almost ran back to see her. 

“It’s time,” I announced when I found them.

Rose and Gray were walking with their fingers intertwined and their shoulders touching. That surprised me. I couldn’t image Rose feeling anything for someone like him. Yet, they almost looked like boyfriend and girlfriend.

“Give me a minute,” Gray demanded, turning toward Rose.

“Wish I could,” I objected. “But thirty is all we get.”

Gray glared at me, and I clenched my jaw for a tight-lipped smile.

“I’ll see you up there,” Gray told her before kissing her on the lips. She kissed him back, and I hated everything about the kiss.

Gray let her go and gave me a death stare as he walked by me. I kept smiling, but I didn’t back down an inch. Rose waited until Gray was out of earshot before she spoke.

“You two really don’t like each other, do you?” Rose asked.

“Us?” I asked casually. “Eh! We’re fine. He makes me laugh.”

“Is that what it is?” she asked with a smile. “He makes you laugh?”

“Yep,” I joked. “But the real question is, why you would like him? You a big fan of mustaches or something? You a mustache-o-phile?” I asked with a smile.

Rose laughed. “A what? Is that a thing?”

Rose was in a good mood. I liked that. Out of all of the beautiful things about her, her smile had to be the best. I took Rose’s hand and continued playfully.

“Sure it’s a thing. You see it all the time. Some women love mustaches. They keep them in boxes, carry them around on sticks. I tell ya, if you knew how often guys go on dates with seemingly nice girls, only to wake up in a strange room missing their well-groomed mustaches… it would curl your hair.”

Rose beamed “…into a 1940s curly mustache?”

“See! That’s a fact only a mustache-o-phile would know. I’m watching you,” I warned, giving her the stink eye.

Rose laughed and then wrapped her body around my arm. I could feel her clothed breasts press against my bicep. I didn’t know if she had done it on purpose, but it gave me a rush.

I had no doubts now. I was in love with her. And unless I didn’t know anything about anything, I was sure that she loved me, too. 

As we walked, I wondered if I should tell her. I wondered if I could tell her. It did make it easier knowing that she felt something for me in return. With everything that had happened over the past week, telling her how I felt shouldn’t have been the hardest thing. But for me, it was.

We walked in silence for a while as I found my courage. I decided to tell her and my heart raced. My eyes darted as I struggled to maintain my breath. I opened my mouth to say it when she cut me off.

“I’m worried about you,” Rose said.

The statement caught me off-guard.

“You’re worried about me? Why? You mean because of Gray?”

“No. Because of me?”

I stopped walking to face her. She genuinely looked worried. I was confused.

“Why are you worried ‘because of you’?”

“Because you’re not like the other guys. You don’t say much.”

“What do you mean? We talk. We’re talking right now.”

“Yeah, but you haven’t said anything. Nothing important, anyway. With everyone else, I feel like I know them. I know the most important parts of them. But with you, it’s like… I don’t know.” She trailed off, shaking head frustrated.

“But you do know me,” I said, feeling cornered. “You know that I would protect you with my life, don’t you?”

“I do. I think I’ve always sensed that. And that’s probably why you’re still here. But now I’m worried… about whether you’ll stay,” she said, delicately. 

“But I don’t understand,” I said still confused. “Isn’t it how you feel about someone that keeps us alive?”

“I think so,” she agreed.

“So then, if you have feelings for me, I’m safe. The only reason I would have to worry would be if you didn’t feel anything for me,” I paused. “Are you telling me that you don’t feel anything for me?”

Rose tightened her lips sending a queasy feeling to my stomach.

“So, this entire time, you never felt anything for me?”

She shook her head with regret in her eyes. “How could I? I don’t know anything about you.”

My heart wrenched as it broke.

“But that’s okay,” she quickly added. “You’re still here. And all you have to do is tell me something about yourself.”

“What do you wanna know?” I asked, crossing my arms.

“Something that’ll tell me who you are.”

“You know who I am,” I told her.

“That’s just it. I don’t. And I know that you’re pretending to be someone you’re not. I’m just asking for you to let me in.”

“I don’t know what you want me to tell you,” I said, struggling for words.

“Tell me anything! And believe me, I wouldn’t be saying this if I didn’t already like everything else that I’ve seen about you,” she admitted. “You’re smart. You’re brave. You’re gorgeous, not to mention the most heroic person I’ve ever met.”

I flinched as a sickly wave washed through me, making me want to throw up.

“There! That! Tell me that,” she insisted. “Why do you react like that?”

Thoughts swirled through my mind. A tornado of gut-wrenching images rendered me speechless.

Rose watched me struggle with sadness in her eyes. Taking my hand, she squeezed it and then pressed it against her chest. “Please, Ford,” she begged, slowly losing hope.

My voice squeaked. “What do you want me to say?”

“I don’t know,” she whispered. “I just need you to live.”

Rose stared at me as I tried, but I couldn’t speak. Her vulnerable eyes showed me her heart. She did care for me, and I desperately wished I could give her what she wanted.

We stared at each other in silence until she reached up and gently pulled my face to hers. She kissed me. By the time I thought to kiss her back, she had released my neck.

“Please, Ford,” she asked, showing me her broken heart.

“I wish I could,” I confessed humbly. “I really…” I could only shake my head with regret.

Tears rolled down Rose’s soft cheeks. I recognized the pain in her eyes. It was the way you looked when you watched someone die. In her mind, she was helplessly watching me die.

I would have thrown myself off of the cliff to relieve her pain. Yet, to say the words that she begged to hear, felt like a fate worse than death.

“That’s thirty minutes,” Billy said.

I turned around and saw him. His brow was furrowed, telling me how much he had heard. I was embarrassed.

I was about to pretend that none of what he heard had been real, when Rose took hold of my cheek and kissed me again. I turned to her, recognizing the gesture. It was the way you kissed someone when you were kissing them for the last time. She was kissing me goodbye.

As I walked away, I could almost feel the powerful bond that drew us together. It stretched taut. Its hooks pulled at me, peeling me raw. It splayed my chest, exposing my heart. When the agony was too much and I had to say something, I said what I hoped would be enough.

“I love you!” I said.

But when I turned around, Rose and Billy were gone. I was alone.

I stared into the trees, knowing the truth. Not only had I just lost her, but my cowardice had made today my last day on earth. Perhaps it was a fitting end.

When I caught up to the others, I found Brad and Thorin temporarily setting up camp. Gray and Bob had gone hunting. It had been Bob’s idea. He wanted his time with Rose to be while eating the meat that he had killed, so he had gone off hunting. Wanting some of the credit, Gray had gone with him.

Neither Brad, Thorin, nor I said much to each other as we waited for everyone to return. I sat in silence while Brad looked around for ingredients. I didn’t ask him what the ingredients were for, but I assumed it was to get Rose high.

I didn’t judge Brad for exploiting his advantage. It was a good strategy, and I didn’t judge Rose for needing an escape. I thought it was incredible that she was dealing with the situation as well as she was. Considering everything going on, I couldn’t imagine someone handling it better.

When Bob returned, he had a dead pig slung across his shoulders. I had heard two shots, and when Bob tossed it to the ground, I saw the bullet holes. They had been fired at close range as it charged the shooter. Apparently, like the bear and panther, the wild pig was another non-native animal trying to kill us.

The island had to have been stocked with wildlife. Was it stocked so that we could do what we’re doing now? Were we supposed to leave the resort and fight the wildlife in route to the compound? Was all of this just another part of the game?

I didn’t know, and I was quickly losing interest in finding out. My time on the island was growing short. When I died, it wouldn’t be because of the wildlife. It would be because of my inability to face the truth. It would be from damage done long before I got here.

Bob set up a spit and began roasting the boar. When Rose returned, she was impressed. Leaving with Bob and a chunk of the cooked meat, the two dined on the outskirts of the flickering firelight.

As I sat thinking about how much I had done wrong, I could hear Rose’s contagious laughter. She laughed without self-consciousness. She had an openness to her and a vulnerability. Perhaps that was why it didn’t work out between us. At our hearts, we were completely different people.

Unable to listen to the two laugh any longer, I ripped off a chunk of cooked meat and took a walk. Pushing past the branches entering the darkness, the jungle night wasn’t as quiet as I thought it would be. The sounds of squawking birds and screeching primates filled the air. I even heard squeals as prey succumbed to their predators. The sound sent chills down my spine.

It felt good to feel fear, though. If nothing else, it told me that I was still alive.

I had truly made a mess of things—not just with Rose, but with everything since Jill. Forgiveness was hard to find. It’s even harder to find when you can’t admit to what you’ve done.

I was sure that that was it. I could neither forgive myself nor give anyone else the chance to forgive me. I deserved to die. An eye for an eye. Wasn’t that how it went?

My mind snapped back to the present when I heard a crackle come from a few feet behind me. I turned and stared into the darkness. I stood motionless, listening for what was following me. I heard nothing but my own stilted breath.

I took a few steps forward and heard the sound again. A hot flash shot through me. I was being stalked.

Was this how I wanted to die? Eaten alive in a foreign jungle? Or was I going to fight? I had already given up once today. Why not do it again?

Because I didn’t give up, I realized. I never gave up. I always continued to fight, no matter what the odds. No, fighting this predator, whatever it was, wouldn’t be my time. Not now and not like this. I would not give up so easily.

It’s amazing how being face to face with death can remind you of who you are. I wondered what I would have to do to survive this time. I felt the cold steel of the butcher’s knife stuck to my leg. A rush of adrenaline coursed through me. I was ready to do whatever it took.

No, I couldn’t stand and fight. I had to get back to camp.

Still facing the noise, I backed away. Turning around and picking up the pace, I could hear it following me. I was sure that it was faster than me. Why hadn’t it pounced yet? It could be on top of me any moment.

I looked back. Something slithered through the branches. I couldn’t tell what until I saw its glowing yellow eyes. I swallowed. I had escaped it once, but now, it had found me.

That was certainly enough to be dealing with at the moment, but when I looked back, I noticed something else: the tower. Its light was pale pink. Two things were chasing me, and I knew I couldn’t outrun them both.

Although I wasn’t sure how much good it would do, I stopped being casual, and I ran. I pumped my legs as hard as I could, leaping over the fallen branches made visible by the increasingly red light. I didn’t look back after that. Looking back wouldn’t do me any good.

I imagined the rippling beast behind me and the campfire in front of me. I then thought about Rose. I wanted to get back to her. I had to escape the demon so that I could get back to her. 

It was then that I stumbled. Had it gotten me? I didn’t know. If it hadn’t already, it would now.

It didn’t, though. I found my balance. Each step was bringing me closer to the woman I loved. That was why I couldn’t open up, because I loved her. I loved her like I had once loved someone else.

The sharp lines of the camp’s firelight cast shadows in front of me. I knew where I was headed now. When I entered the clearing still in one piece, I entered a changed man.

Everyone at camp turned to me as I raced toward them. I spotted a gun on the ground. Diving toward it, I picked it up continuing into a somersault. Stopping on my knees, I twisted. Pointing the gun into the darkness, I was ready to fire.

“What is it?” Brad yelled.

I crouched waiting. With my arms shaking, I looked down the barrel of the gun. It had been right behind me. I had been sure of it. With every passing second, though, I wondered if I had been running from anything at all.

“Speak to us,” Thorin begged. “What is it?”

Nothing was there. Nothing was after me. My eyes shifted to the strained curves of my forearm. I loosened my grip and looked around.

Gray stood behind me with his nozzle searching the darkness. Beside him, Bob did the same.

“It’s gone,” I said, releasing them from their stance.

“What was it?” Gray asked, catching his breath.

“I don’t know,” I admitted. As my mind cleared, I remembered something else. “The tower. Did you see it?”

I turned around and saw Rose. She was back. I hadn’t expected to see her.

“Yeah. We did?” Gray said returning his gun to his waistband. “We were trying to decide what to do.”

I looked around at everyone. They all had the same expression as when they denied me a rose.

I slowly turned to the beautiful woman to my right. Although moments before I had sworn to be a new man, to fight to stay alive, I still couldn’t change who I was at my core; I had to protect Rose.

“She shouldn’t watch this,” I said to the guys. I turned to her. “You shouldn’t have to.”

The guys looked at each other in agreement.

“You’re right,” Brad said, confident that he was safe.

“No, she shouldn’t,” Gray added to everyone else’s nods.

I stood and tucked the gun into my belt. Approaching her slowly, I took her hand. I half expected someone to stop me, but no one did.

Cupping her delicate fingers with mine, I stared into her sober eyes. “I should have let you in.”

She inhaled as if fighting back a river of tears.

“I want you to remember that none of this is your fault,” I paused and looked into her eyes. “And I forgive you.”

That was it. Those words were all of the protection I could offer her for when I was gone. I squeezed her hand. What I said next came out as a raspy whisper, “You should go now.”

I let go of Rose and turned away. I could hear her shoes slap the dirt as she ran off.

I looked into the guy’s faces. Their solemn gazes told me that they understood. My extended stay on the island was coming to an end. All I had left was the time it took for the wine colored light to become bright red.

I turned my back to the tower when it became a matter of seconds. I really would have done things differently if it hadn’t been my turn, I thought. And those weren’t just a dying man’s words. They were my last rite, my confession.

Feeling a burning in my chest and a pain in my stomach, I steadied myself. I was ready. A cough, the first cough, drowned out the sound of the waves below. A rawness burned my throat making me want to throw up. My body convulsed, but not because of the chip in my head but because the cough had come from someone else.

I could barely look up. My soul was tearing apart as both joy and guilt fought to get out. By all rights, it should have been me. Rose had told me so.

She had said that everyone else had had the courage to be open with her. Wasn’t that the only challenge in this game that truly mattered? And it was the only challenge I couldn’t win.

Out of respect, I forced myself to look up. I had to face the man who had unfairly taken my spot. The man falling to his knees in a halo of red light was Billy.

No one moved to help him. What could anyone do that hadn’t already been done? I didn’t need to be reminded how helpless it felt to watch one of your men die, but here was evidence again.

I stood wondered if there was anything I could have done to save him. I couldn’t be sure.

One thing I was sure of. I was going to do everything possible to bring an end to this game. Staring into the lifeless eyes of the dead man in front of me, I slowly reached behind my back and gripped my gun.

 

 

 

“What are you doing?” Gray said, pointing his gun at me.

I retrieved my gun, allowing it to lay flat on my open palm.

“We need to talk,” I said calmly.

Gray gripped his tighter, noticing how unintimidated I looked. “About what?”

“You’re not in charge,” I told him.

“Oh?” he challenged manufacturing a smile. “And what makes you think that?”

“Gray,” I said in an unwavering tone. “You’re not in charge.”

Gray chuckled nervously, shifting his weight as he did. “You threatening me with that gun, boy?”

“No.” In a flash, my hand tilted, and the pistol fell into my grip. “Now I am.”

“Ford, what are you doing?” Brad asked.

“Gray, I’ve told you that you’re not in charge. Now, I have no problem giving you this gun. You can hold them. I don’t mind. But before you do, I wanna hear you say it. You’re not in charge.”

Gray laughed nervously. He shifted back and forth, unable to stand still. I knew that he was thinking about shooting me. If he did, he would probably kill me, but I was betting that he wasn’t going to pull the trigger.

“You know what they say. The person with the biggest gun makes the rules,” he said, testing me.

“Gray, you are not in charge.”

I stared at him, unblinking. He was dangerously nervous. When his finger tightened on the trigger, I considered that this tactic might not work. I considered that one of us was going to die.

“Gray!” Brad began, breaking the silence. “No one’s in charge. You’re not in charge. I’m not in charge. Just tell him that. He said that he’ll give you the gun.”

Gray’s eyes bounced between me and Brad.

“Yeah, Gray. Just tell him you’re not in charge,” Bob said. “One person already died tonight. We can’t be fighting between us. Just tell him that, and take the gun.”

Feeling the pressure on Gray mounting, I twisted my wrist, returning the gun to my palm. “I just wanna hear you say it: ‘I’m not in charge.’”

I had gotten to him. I could see the sweat bead on his forehead. Now, I just needed him to hear it in his own voice.

“Say it, Gray. ‘I’m not in charge.’”

His lip quivered as he formed the words. “I’m not… in charge,” he finally said.

He tried desperately to hide it, but I could see his hand shake. He would still kill me if he fired at this range, but he no longer had the balls to pull the trigger.

When he thought about this moment later, and I knew that he was going to, he would hate himself for not shooting me. He’ll search desperately for the reason he didn’t.

What he will conclude is that he had a good reason not to shoot me. He won’t be able to say what that reason is. But that belief will keep him from ever shooting me. Simply put, I neutered him and put his testicles on my keychain.

I slowly rotated my gun, handing him the grip. Matching my pace, he grabbed it with his free hand. To emphasize our new pecking order, I turned my back on him and addressed the other guys.

“Grab as much of the cooked meat as you can eat tonight,” I announced. “The rest, we’re dumping over the cliff with Billy’s body.”

“You’re dumping the food?” Bob asked confused.

“Everything has to go. There are a lot of things out there trying to kill us. The last thing we need is to lure them to us with a free meal.”

“Maybe we shouldn’t…” Thorin searched for the right words, “dump Billy’s body. I mean, we all knew him.”

“Yeah, we did. But there’s nothing we can do for him now,” I said, presenting the cold, hard facts.

“I came back. What if they can bring him back too?”

“Then they fish him out and revive him from there,” I stated confidently.

“Look,” Gray barked, “why are we talking about Billy? We all know who’s responsible for this. She’ll just keep killing us one by one.”

“And what are you proposing?” I asked, allowing everyone to lay their cards on the table.

“Get rid of her before she gets rid of us. If we had done it sooner, maybe Billy wouldn’t be dead.”

I didn’t like it. I wouldn’t let it happen. However, logic was hard to argue against, so I didn’t try. “We’re not gonna do that.”

“I thought we voted here,” Gray said, reaching in my pocket for his balls.

“Not about this,” I barked, asserting my authority.

“He’s right. It’s not smart,” Thorin added. “Killing her could just as likely kill us as save us.”

“And who are you again?” Gray asked the diminutive Thorin.

“I’m just saying that in certain configurations, killing her means killing us. We shouldn’t do it.”

“Okay, is everyone done talking about killing Rose?” Brad asked. “Because if you are, I’ll go get her.”

“No, you’re not,” Gray claimed. “You’re not gonna spend time alone with her.”

“Then come with me. It’s not safe for her out there. Like the man said, it could get us all killed.”

“Go get her,” I ordered. “Meanwhile, the rest of us will clear the site.”

“You want us to dump your body when you’re next?” Gray taunted.

“Look, I’m gonna go get her,” Brad said before heading into the darkness.

“No, wait,” Gray protested.

“I don’t wanna dump Billy’s body. I knew him just like all of you did. But we need to do whatever we have to to survive. That comes first.”

“And what if he’s not dead? Or what if they can bring him back or something?” Thorin protested.

“Wait a minute,” Gray interjected. “Who is this they you keep talking about?”

“I don’t know. The producers. Whoever it was that got us here. The people who sent me back.”

“Yeah. About that,” Gray said bouncing the gun in his hand. “You wanna tell us one more time how you ended up back here. Because as far as I can see, there’s no way off this island except as a corpse.”

Thorin’s shoulders lifted as if he was holding something back.

“What. You do know something,” I said giving him my full attention. “If you’re holding something back that can get us out of here…”

“No. Of course not. It’s just that he asked me how it is that I’m back here, and I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about it.”

“And what did you come up with?” I asked, unable to catch his darting lowered eyes.

Thorin hesitated and then squirmed as his mouth opened.

“I think it was Rose,” he admitted.

“You think she asked for you to come back?” I questioned, confused.

“Yes, but not exactly. I think it was Rose who brought us all here in the first place.”

“So you’re saying that Rose masterminded this whole thing? Chips and all?” I asked.

“Yeah.”

“And why would she do that?”

“To find a man?” Thorin offered sheepishly.

I was the only one to scoff aloud, but no one was buying Thorin’s theory.

“Think about it,” he continued. “She’s gotta be a little crazy, right? I mean, we tell her that she’s responsible for a dozen people’s death, and a few hours later, she’s dancing around with each of us in woods like nothing’s happened? A sane person wouldn’t do that. Would they?”

I didn’t want to think it, but he did have a point. I tried to explain it away by saying that she was high, but how high would you have to be to forget about that?

Bob interjected softly. “So, you’re saying that she did this whole thing by herself?”

“I mean, no. One person couldn’t do all of this.”

“Then what?” Bob continued.

Thorin shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know. Maybe she had help. Maybe she hired someone. But that’s why I don’t think we can kill her. Because if she’s behind this, wouldn’t she make sure that we all died if she did?”

Thorin’s words sent a chill down my spine. I would like to say that it was for another reason, but I knew it was because he was making sense.

I had refused to see Rose as anything other than a victim like the rest of us, but Thorin had succeeded. He had planted a seed of doubt. If Rose was behind all of this, what chance did any of us have of getting out of here alive?

I pushed the thought out of my mind. We all had one mission, to survive. Turning against Rose didn’t help us do that.

“You don’t know what she’s experiencing. None of us do,” I countered. “Until you’re in a situation like that, you have no idea how you would act.”

“You know something about killing people, Mr. Corporate Recruiter?” Gray mocked.

I did. I knew a lot about it, but now wasn’t the time to bring it up.

“Let’s focus on getting to the compound, huh? Accusing each other isn’t gonna help. Because right now we need each other. When we get these chips out, then we’ll worry about taking care of whoever’s responsible for all of this.”

I pointed at Billy’s body. “Bob?” I said requesting his help. He came without argument.

“Everyone, cut off as much meat as you can eat tonight. Get full. It has to fuel you tomorrow. Any meat left in the open might get us all killed.”

I took hold of Billy’s shoulders while Bob grabbed onto his legs. We walked Billy’s body to the edge of the cliff and tossed him off. I thought about what Thorin had said as I did.

What if he and the others could be revived by whoever was behind this? What if that was their plan? Man, wouldn’t it be nice if this nightmare were just a game show, and everyone was back in their hotel rooms ordering room service?

As much as I wanted that to be the case, I had to remember Kurt’s death rattle. Plus, we had all watched Sam’s body be torn apart by sharks. We weren’t in a game. People were dying. No happy reunion waited for us at the end.

I looked around at my fellow contestants, and I felt a connection to them. Watching them as they tore at the roasted pig with their bare hands, I considered offering them my butcher’s knife. I even stuck my hand into my pocket, resting my fingertips on the cold metal handle. But remembering what they had been capable of, I reconsidered.

I then reached for a dangling chunk of meat from the pig’s belly. Freeing it, I popped it into my mouth. As I chewed, the silent void was filled by the crackling fire, the crashing waves, and the distance sounds of nighttime predators.

It didn’t take long for everyone to get their fill. Knowing what the others were thinking, I brought up the topic first.

“We’ll catch up with Brad and Rose once we dump the rest of this. Thorin, tear off about a pound for them.”

Brad had been gone a long time. It was long enough to remind me that Carl had run off with Rose, but I brushed the idea aside. Brad was the master gamesman. He didn’t have to run off with her to assure his victory.

Thorin did as I told him, and then Bob and I tossed the rest of the pig over the cliff. It was a waste. I was sure that I would second-guess the decision tomorrow once we got hungry, but tonight, I was focused on surviving through the night.

Crafting a torch, we put out the campfire. We could have navigated using the moonlight and the tower, but the torch had been Gray’s idea. Our new relationship was in a delicate balance, so I had to give him a win.

We walked for about five minutes before we caught up with Brad and Rose. Staring at them, I wondered if any of the other guys saw what I did. Their disheveled hair and the awkward way in which they reacted to us told me without a doubt that they hadn’t gotten high.

I caught Rose’s eyes, and she barely acknowledged the fact that I was still alive. That bothered me a lot. My stomach felt like I was on a rollercoaster. My shallow breathing left a hollow feeling in my chest.

I told myself that, that it wasn’t that she didn’t care. It was that my being alive was old news to her. Brad had to have already explained things. But why hadn’t she even given me a forced smile?

Brad devoured the meat as we walked together at the back of the group.

“Did you two have sex?” I asked him, trying to hide the jealousy that simmered below the surface.

“A gentleman never tells,” he said, looking at me with a greasy smile. “But yes.”

Ah, the rage. It was an unwieldy beast. I looked away, trying to calm myself, but I could feel Brad staring at me with that grin on his face. I had to remind myself that he was trying to get under my skin.

What was he trying to accomplish by provoking me? Was he just trying to get into my head? Because there’s a shit-storm in there that I don’t think he’s prepared for.

The image of the two of them having sex popped into my head for the rest of the night. When it did, the skin on my arms crawled.

“Here,” I told everyone as we entered a clearing. “We’ll camp here for the night and pick back up at first light.” I looked at Rose. “We’ll all stay together. We’re safer as a group.”

No one argued.

Finding a soft patch, we extinguished the torch and got as comfortable as we could. It had been a long, tiring day, but I couldn’t sleep. I kept switching between what I was going to say to Rose if I got another chance, and the thought of Brad and Rose together.

I had to admit, thinking about the two of them made me angry. Why did it, though? It wasn’t like any of us were virgins. It wasn’t even like Rose and I had made a commitment to each other.

No. I think the anger I felt was towards myself. I had made so many mistakes, here with Rose, and before. It is hard to forgive yourself.

On top of that, Rose had had sex with Brad. How? Why?

Man, that dude was getting laid more than a priest at a nun’s convention. Okay, no normal human being could have that much sex. But still, Brad was having a lot of sex.

 

By first light, I had gotten about three hours of sleep. It would have to do. I felt stiff and a little cranky, but I again brought up the rear as the group continued along the coast.

I was still pretty angry as I watched Rose and Brad walk together. Every so often, he would reach out and touch her fingers. Each time he did, it reminded me that I was in love with her.

Every time I caught myself looking at them, I looked away, refocusing on the mission. It was only another day to the compound, a day and a half at most. Once there, we could put an end to this stupid game.

If Rose chose Brad after that, then they could go off and be together. Nonetheless, one way or another, this whole situation had to end quickly. I wasn’t going to be able to contain myself for much longer.

“Ah, we have a problem,” Thorin announced from the front of the group.

“What is it?” I yelled.

“Come and take a look.”

Staring down at the canyon that divided the island, my face burned. In front of us was a hundred foot drop straight down. At the bottom was a twenty-foot channel of rushing water that continued as far as I could see.

With no way to get down and no way to get back up the other side, we would have to go around. This canyon was going to add another day to our journey. The decision to follow the coast instead of taking the direct route would cost us another life.

I boiled with anger. Why? Because it was my fault.

Years of training had told me that we should have taken the direct route, but I had given in. Because of what? Some notion that this group was a democracy?

This trek is about survival, not everyone’s feelings, and I knew that. Every commander knew that. Yet I had given them the rope to hang themselves, and Rose and me alongside them.

I turned around, glaring at the agitated faces staring back at me. I then searched my leg for the cold touch of the metal blade. Finding it, I grounded myself. I was ready for whatever would happen next.

“The divide splits half of the island. It’s gonna take us the rest of the day to go around it,” I announced.

Bob and Brad reacted with disappointment while Gray stared at me, waiting for what I would say next.

“Once we’re around it, we’re gonna cut a straight path through the jungle to the…”

“We agreed to follow the coast. We voted,” Gray said, cutting me off.

“This isn’t a democracy. I’m in charge,” I pronounced, staring directly at him.

“I knew it,” Gray began. “It was just a matter of time.”

Gray withdrew a gun from his belt and relaxed his arm by his side. He did it as a reminder, but I hadn’t forgotten.

Staring at them all, I could have explained my reasoning, but what good would that do? I couldn’t avoid where this was headed. Frankly, I was feeling a little tense and needed to do a little shit-kicking.

I looked at Gray, not giving him an inch. “If you’re considering doing something about it, I suggest you do it now,” I said, feeling the blade’s cold handle under my fingertips.

Gray raised his gun and pointed it at me. I sized him up. I would have only one shot to do what needed to be done. The blade had to hit him in the larynx, immobilizing him at once, and I had to get it out of my hand before he could pull the trigger.

The only thing I had on him was the element of surprise. He didn’t know I had the knife, but that was about to change.

“Gray! Don’t!” Rose yelled.

Neither of us broke our stare.

“If you shoot him in cold blood, I’ll never look at you the same.”

Her words rattled him. Gray was still playing the game.

“Don’t you see? He’s trying to take over,” Gray shouted. “We voted. Everyone agreed.”

Maybe he heard how ridiculous he sounded, because after he said it, he flinched. In a moment, he would turn his eyes and that would be my window to attack.

I wrapped my fingers around the hilt of my blade. I squinted my eyes as the window opened. Subtly holding my breath, I steadied my aim. It was then that he flicked his eyes towards Rose.

“I can’t help it,” Rose said. “I wouldn’t be able to see you the same.”

With my hand still clutching the hilt, I realized that I hadn’t moved. Had her words affected me as well? Even knowing that she had been with Brad, did she still have the power to stop me from doing what needed to be done?

She did, and I wasn’t the only one affected. Again staring at me, Gray bounced his hand in indecision.

“Yeah, I don’t need to shoot you to take care of this,” Gray announced.

Still stone-faced, I smiled on the inside, knowing that he really did.

“It’s four against one,” he said. “And I think we need to teach you a little lesson.”

I snapped my icy stare around to scan the other men.

“I’m not involved with this. I’ll do whatever,” Thorin conceded. “I just want to get to the compound, so I can take the chips out.”

I next looked at Brad, wondering whose side he would choose today.

“Sorry,” he said, moving to a spot beside Gray.

I released a smile. I would have been disappointed if this stand-off had gone down any other way.

“Really? Only three of you?” I taunted. “And I thought this might be hard.”

I released the hilt of my blade and again thought about Rose. Didn’t she like watching guys fight over her? How would she feel watching me beat three guys at once?

I hated that that was where my mind went. But such is love.

Stepping forward, I planted my foot squarely into Gray’s chest. He bounced back five feet, landing hard on his ass. He never saw it coming. These guys had no idea who they were up against.

Without warning, Bob attacked from the right. He moved like a mixed martial arts fighter; his arms were up, his fingers loose, and his head down. He knew what he was doing, but so did I.

Shifting my weight, my foot caught his hip. It was meant to rattle him. I did it to give me time to take two steps and get clocked by Brad.

Here’s a little note if you ever find yourself in a situation like this one. When you enter a brawl, you should expect to get hit. Revel in it. Learn to love it. But use it.

Get yourself into a position, so that when you strike back… Well, let’s just say that I used the thought of him and Rose having sex as motivation.

I hit him, once, twice. With a third blow to the side of his head, Brad dropped. He was clearly not expecting to get hit. Brad fought like… well, like a botanist, actually.

I gotta say, I felt so much better as I stared at him wriggling on the ground. That’s all I had really needed. I could have ended it there, satisfied, if not for a problem; apparently, the others hadn’t realized that this fight was actually about Brad screwing Rose. It’s too bad that they didn’t, because if they had, they could have saved themselves a lot of pain.

Bob caught me in my kidney. It was a good punch. He was trained. I would have to respect that.

I stepped toward Bob and swung at him with a right hook. He dodged, moving left. I missed, but his eyes tightened as he moved. Split seconds, that’s what each move created.

He wouldn’t have the time to react. Knowing that, I continued spinning around. Springing off of my right leg, I hugged his rounded back with my left leg. With him confused, I shifted again, completing the leg lock. Throwing my weight under him, I made him roll forward like an eight-year-old gymnast.

In a second, I was over his face as he lay helpless on his back. I hit him pretty hard a couple of times. I wouldn’t recommend that with an eight-year-old, yet it sure would stop a tantrum.

Speaking of tantrums, there was someone I couldn’t forget about. I found him back on his feet, watching me with his mouth hanging open. He stood flat-footed in a partial boxer’s stance.

Nothing was protected. His chin was up. His guard was down. His feet were aligned and his groin was just right there. Can you guess where I aimed my attack?

As I dropped him, I had to wonder what the hell he was thinking. I hate to bring this up again, but didn’t any of them realize that I was the hero in this show? Hadn’t they seen any kung fu movie, ever?

Many things flashed through my mind as I stared down at the men. So many things had happened in the past few years. I had been running from so much.

Yes, perhaps I had forgotten who I was, and perhaps my lapse had led to deaths. I would have to figure out how to live with that. I was starting to realize that I would have to learn to live with a lot of things. 

My thoughts immediately shifted when a wave of panic washed over me. I had seen something out of the corner of my eye. I was about to turn towards it when Rose screamed.