Chapter 17
Smokey
We all watched as Boozer’s casket was lowered into the ground. Doc had tried everything he could, but we’d lost Boozer just a few hours after we’d gotten him back to the clubhouse. He was too far gone, but none of us gave up hope until the very end. The air felt heavy as we stood there together, trying to come to terms with losing one of our own. It was never easy, but Boozer’s death hit us hard. He was still prospecting, but we all considered him a brother and honored him as one, burying him with his top rocker. A deafening silence fell upon us as the crank stopped turning, and the casket settled against the cold, hard dirt. Cotton stepped up to the grave with a shovel in his hand and spoke a few comforting words—words I didn’t hear. I was too lost in my own head to listen to anything he was saying. He dropped the first scoop of dirt on top of the casket, and as he passed the shovel on to Guardrail, Cassidy started singing Boozer’s favorite hymn. It was his mother’s only request for the service, and as soon as Cassidy sang the first note of It Is Well with My Soul, tears started streaming down his mother’s face. We all knew she had an amazing voice, but the way Cass sang that song, the sadness in her voice got to us all. Boozer’s mom tried her best to hold it together, but we all knew she was struggling with the fact that she’d lost her only son. Knowing she was hurting, I did what Boozer had asked. I told her that he’d had an accident while out on his bike, and like he’d hoped, she found some comfort in thinking he’d died doing something he loved. She never questioned our explanation and seemed humbled by the fact that so many of her son’s brothers had come to show their respect. I wished it had been true. I wished he’d died while out riding on a beautiful day, but he hadn’t. Instead, he was killed in cold blood, because I wasn’t there to protect him. I’d let him down, and I would live with that regret for the rest of my life.
Each of the brothers took their turn with the shovel until Boozer was completely buried. When it was done, Doc said a few final words, and then we all got on our bikes and rode out to Cape Flattery. We spent hours riding along the coastline, paying tribute to our fallen brother. When the sun started to set, we headed back to the clubhouse for a family gathering. It was tradition: giving us time to come together to share our grief and think back on our time with Boozer, our friend and our brother.
I was standing by the fire when Cotton came over to me and said, “I know it’s hard, but you gotta come to terms with this. You did your job. You covered your boys, and what happened wasn’t your fault.”
“Maybe not, but I should’ve made sure he was better prepared to handle himself.”
“He made a mistake. Doesn’t mean he wasn’t prepared or didn’t know what he was doing.”
“It was a rookie mistake. One he should’ve never made.”
“His mistake got us our first real lead. You gotta give him credit for that,” Cotton explained. “We’ll get this guy. You can count on that. Boozer won’t have died in vain.”
“Any word from Big Mike?”
“He’s still working on it. They knew where our cameras were located. Managed to dodge them from what we can tell, but he’s still going through all the feed. If there is something, he’ll find it.”
“What do you think is up with this cop? You think he’s snooping around so he can shut us down, or do you think there’s more to it?”
“Oh, there’s definitely more to it. I just don’t know what the fuck it is. Got word that the sheriff was suspended earlier this week. Thinking he might be the one Boozer saw.”
“Sheriff Thompson?”
“Yep. The one and only. Looks like your girl’s dad has gotten himself in a mess. Stole drugs from the county evidence room. And I’m not talking about some measly amount either. He took enough to supply half the damn county.”
“That can’t be right,” I told him. I’d done my research. I knew everything there was to know about MJ’s father. I’d seen all the commendations he’d earned, along with the long list of awards he’d won, and he was the last man I’d ever expect to get himself wrapped up in some kind of drug distribution. It just didn’t add up, so I asked, “Got any more information on that?”
“No. Why?”
“There’s something up with that. A guy like him… no way he’d get involved with that kind of mess. I feel it in my gut. It’s definitely something we need look into. There might be some kind of connection.”
“Yeah, there’s a connection alright. The guy fucked up. Didn’t make the money he wanted to with the drugs he unloaded, so he thought he’d try to get his hands on our shipment,” he growled.
“I don’t think that’s how it played out, Prez. You gotta trust me on this.”
“I’m thinking you might be a bit biased when it comes to this Thompson guy.”
There wasn’t a club member anywhere that would ever side with a cop, and I wasn’t either. But I knew something wasn’t right, so I said, “He’s a fucking cop. Enough said. Just thinking it’s something we ought to look into.”
“I’ll get Big to check it out, but for now, we’re closing the warehouse. Nitro is setting up a place for delivery. We should know the new location by morning.”
“So we’re moving forward?”
“Absolutely. Just gotta play it smart. Not going to let these motherfuckers keep us down,” Cotton growled. “Just be set for tomorrow. We’ll expect everyone there.”
“You can count on me. Whatever you need,” I assured him.
As he turned to leave, he gave me a pat on the shoulder and said, “Grab yourself another beer, and I’ll let you know if Big Mike comes up with anything.”
“Thanks, brother.”
He walked away, leaving me standing alone by the fire, and I took a deep breath as I stared at the crackling blaze before me. I was lost in a trance, staring deep into the fire as I thought about the night that Boozer died and the moment the word “cop” had come from his mouth. I was recalling the pained look in his eyes as he lay there fighting for his life when Tristen walked up and stood next to me. She didn’t say a word as she offered me a beer. We stood there silently, gazing into the fire. I had no idea how long we’d been standing there when I looked over to her and saw the soft glow of the firelight against her skin. I contemplated taking her back to my room, wondering if I’d find any comfort in having her warm body next to mine. But I shook it off. I just couldn’t do it. Even though she looked beautiful standing there, I couldn’t stomach the thought of having her in my bed. There was only one woman I wanted in my arms, and no substitute would do.
I was surprised when she placed her hand on my arm and said, “I’m heading inside to help clean up. If you need anything, just let me know.”
I smiled and said, “Thanks, Tris. Appreciate that.”
It was getting late and the brothers were starting to clear out. We all knew we had a few long days ahead, so I figured it was time for me to do the same. I started for my bike and had just made it to the parking lot when I spotted Maverick helping Henley over to their car. She was a sight to behold as she waddled next him with one hand on her belly and the other on her lower back. She looked like she was going to have that baby at any minute, and I couldn’t help but smile as I watched Maverick try to ease her into that damn car. He was so careful with her, treating her like precious cargo as he held her hand, slowly lowering her into the seat. It looked like she had the world’s largest basketball centered right in the middle of her stomach, but she was beautiful. Pregnancy suited her, even if she’d say it was hell. We all knew how excited they both were, and in no time, they’d have their son in their arms. Then the real fun would begin. Maverick closed the door and when he started for the driver’s side, I gave him a chin lift. He did the same in return as he got inside the car.
I continued towards my bike but stopped when I heard someone call out my name. I turned and found Clutch and Liv walking towards me. Hadley and Charlie rushed past them as they raced towards their SUV. I shook my head and teased, “Can’t you get a hold on those heathens?”
“Hell, no,” Clutch chuckled. “Not after all the Cokes and cookies they’ve had tonight. It’ll be midnight before Hadley comes down from her sugar rush.”
Liv waved him off. “It’s not that bad. They’re just excited. We’ve been talking about taking a trip down to Memphis later in the month, and they’re all fired up about seeing some of their friends.”
“The sugar doesn’t help,” Clutch teased.
“Probably not,” she admitted. She looked back over to me and said, “I was hoping you might bring MJ tonight.”
Clutch obviously hadn’t told her what had happened, but it didn’t matter. I hadn’t given up hope. At least not yet. I was giving it time, but I wasn’t going to wait forever. I’d have my say with her, and if it went my way, I’d have her back. So I answered, “Maybe some other time.”
“I hope so.” She smiled. “I really like her.”
Clutch slipped his arm around her waist and pulled her over to him. “We’d better get going.”
“Yeah, we need to get these wild children back to the house.” She laughed and started for the truck. Before she opened the door, she looked back and said, “See ya soon, Smokey.”
Once she closed the door, Clutch asked, “Where ya headed? Thought you’d be staying at the club.”
“Just need a break. Gonna head out to the farm for the night. Maybe I can get some fucking sleep.”
“Not easy out here, that’s for sure. There’s always some kind of racket,” he smiled. “You doing okay?”
“Getting there.”
“Gonna miss having Boozer’s crazy ass around.”
“No doubt. He was a good one.”
“Get some rest, brother. I’ll see you back here tomorrow.”
“You do the same,” I told him as he started towards Liv and the kids. I got on my bike and started driving towards the farm. Guardrail had told me earlier that they’d finished up everything inside the house, but they were still working on finishing up the exterior. I didn’t care. I just wanted a hot shower and a quiet place to lay my head. When I got there, I pulled around and went to the back door. Without bothering to turn on the lights, I went straight to the living room and crashed on the sofa. I was exhausted and had no desire to even look at the renovations. My body sank into the cushions, and I knew immediately it wasn’t the old couch my folks used to have. The fabric was soft and the old springs weren’t stabbing me in the back. There was even enough room for me to stretch out, making it easier to get comfortable. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough to help me fall asleep. When I closed my eyes, images of her clothes falling to the ground and the sultry sound of her voice as she used my words to seduce me came crashing through my mind. Too tired to fight it, I gave into the dream and let myself imagine that she was right there with me. And for the first time in days, I finally slept.
I woke up the next morning with an overwhelming need to see MJ. I tried to shake it off, but it was a feeling I just couldn’t ignore. So, I got in my dad’s old farm truck and drove to Tacoma. It was still early when I pulled up to the curb beside her aunt’s house and killed the engine. I looked over and spotted MJ sitting on the front porch swing. There was something about the expression on her face that got to me, like her thoughts had her a million miles away, and I couldn’t help but wonder if she was sitting there thinking about me. She looked straight ahead as she rocked back and forth, never realizing that I was just a few yards away from her. Being so close to her was agony. I wanted to go to her, hold her in my arms, and feel her body next to mine, but I knew I couldn’t. Her aunt came outside and offered her a cup of tea, and I took it as my cue to leave. I cranked up the engine, and with my gut twisted in knots, I started the long haul back home. For now, I’d keep my word—even if it was killing me to stay away. Once things were settled with the club, I was coming back. I would have her back in my arms, one way or another.