A few weeks go by and I try not to think about Sarah. I don’t know what’s come over me but I just don’t want to talk to her. I don’t want to feel that hurt that she made me feel. I figure that if I just kind of ignore the situation and pretend nothing’s going on I can stay in this numb state for a long time.

Anyway, the business demands a lot of my attention so I’ve at least got something to occupy my time.

“So what are you going to do?” says Jeff to me, after one meeting.

“About the stocks?” I say, annoyed. “What the hell do you think we just had that whole meeting about? Were you drunk or asleep or something?”

“No,” says Jeff, calmly. “I mean about Sarah… You haven’t mentioned her at all this last week. Or maybe it’s been two weeks. And you seem… I don’t know, I’m just worried about you.”

“Well don’t concern yourself with me,” I say. “I’m fine. I’ve been through worse.”

“That’s all fine and well,” says Jeff, leaning in closer to me. “But she’s pregnant, right?”

I nod stiffly. Doesn’t he know that? Is he some kind of idiot or is he a hermit who hasn’t seen the news in years? “Yeah,” I say. “She’s pregnant and if you haven’t noticed that’s the whole problem.”

“OK,” says Jeff, still talking to me calmly even though I’m being an asshole to him. “I get that. And whatever you decide to do with your relationship is up to you. I don’t want to get in the middle of that. Believe me. I just want to make sure you’re thinking this thing through.”

“What do you mean thinking it through?” I say, growing angrier by the second. Why the fuck does he think it’s any of his business? I’m speaking to him now through obviously gritted teeth.

“It’s just that you’ve got to think of the baby, man,” says Jeff. “You’ve got to find out if it’s yours because if it is don’t you think you have like a moral responsibility or something to help raise it?”

I’m silent and in shock. Yeah, I guess I hadn’t even thought about it.

“You OK?” says Jeff. “You look like you’re going to pass out.

My face feels completely drained. I feel like I’m going to faint. But billionaire CEOs don’t faint, so I don’t. I take a couple more deep breaths.

How had I not thought about that? About the kid? Am I really that selfish? I’ve just been thinking about my own hurt feelings?

“I’m OK,” I finally say. “I think you’re right, Jeff. I should see about the kid.”

I walk back to my office and shut the door behind me. I still have on the heavy metal music that I was listening to before.

I try to clear my head by doing some meditation. That is, I try to clear my head, because I know that I’m going to have to call her soon. I’m going to have to call Sarah.

But the meditation isn’t working. Maybe I need to take a ride through Manhattan on one of my motorcycles.

I don’t have any of my motorcycle gear with me though.

Maybe that’s not such a good idea though. I can see how it would play out now: I’m frustrated, and I weave through the traffic as fast as I can. I’m being more careless than usual, and I get in an accident. They rush me to the hospital where they at least attend to me because I’m rich and have good insurance—the hospital knows I’m good for the treatment essentially and they’re not going to throw me out on the street like they might… Anyway, then Sarah comes rushing to my side, but at that point I’ve already slipped into a coma and then a couple weeks later I die. She gives birth to a beautiful baby and I’m not around to see it.

I shake my head, trying to get the fantasy out of here. No, that’s not what I want to happen. After all, I might be a father. I might be a father. The words ring through my head. Doesn’t that mean I’ve got to act responsible now? Hell, if I really am a father I might have to sell all the motorcycles or only ride them in safer conditions. And New York City certainly isn’t what I would call safe conditions.

OK. Time to call her. Time to call Sarah.

Just thinking her name gets my mind going off onto a fantasy. It’s been so long that I’ve thought about her that now that I do, well, my body reacts. My cock is swelling up as I picture her naked body in my mind’s eye. There’s no one else like her in the world. I realize now that it’s not just lust though that I feel for. It’s something much, much more. I’ve just never told her. Why not? Maybe this is all my fault. Maybe if I hadn’t been so closed off from her, maybe if I’d told her my feelings, then maybe she wouldn’t have felt the need to keep this a secret from me for so long?

OK. Fuck it. I’ve got to call her. Something’s holding me back. I manage to press the call button next to her name.

But I hang up before the first ring even sounds.

I almost put the phone back on my desk, but to my surprise it rings. Is it Sarah?

Maybe. It’s an unknown number.

“Hello?” I say, my voice shaking since I’m half expecting it to be Sarah calling me back.

“Hi, John Clark?” says a voice that sounds a little familiar.”

“Speaking,” I say.

“Hi,” says the female voice. “This is Janet, Sarah’s friend.”

“Oh,” I say. “How are you?”

“I’m fine,” says Janet. I can’t read the tone of her voice. “Listen, Sarah wanted me to call you. I’m not sure if you got her message, but…”

Her message?

“No,” I say. “I didn’t get a message from her.”

“Oh,” says Janet. “Well, I shouldn’t be the one to tell you this. But I’ll tell you anyway. This kid is yours.”

That almost floors me.

I don’t know whether to cry or smile. I don’t know how to react.

“That’s not what I called to tell you, though,” says Janet. “That’s just the prelude to the next part.”

“OK,” I manage to say. “Just tell me. Is it bad news?”

“We’re not sure yet,” says Janet. “What I’m supposed to tell you is that Sarah’s having some potential complications with the pregnancy. And she thought you should know.”

“Of course,” I say. “Of course I should know. I’m glad you called, Janet.”

“OK,” says Janet, not sounding the least bit pleased. I can tell she still heartily disapproves of me.

“What kind of complications?” I say.

“She’s not feeling well,” says Janet. “Some stomach pains and… A slight fever. We’re not sure what it is. So we’re in the emergency room now.”

“OK,” I say. “I’ll be right over.”

“Good,” says Janet.

She tersely tells me which hospital she’s in and then hangs up the phone without even saying goodbye.

Holy shit I’m a father.

I’m a father. I’m going to be a father.

The words run through my head over and over as I sit in a stunned daze at my office desk, the heavy metal music still playing loudly around me.

But there’s not much time to dwell on this amazing fact. Sarah could be in trouble. I just hope she hasn’t gotten some butcher for a doctor. I need to get over there and see if I can use my connections and money to get her the best doctor that they have.

“I’m headed out,” I say to one of the secretaries on the way out, brushing past everyone who tries to talk to me.

I don’t even put on my jacket before stepping into the cold garage below.

There are a couple of my cars here, as well as a few of my motorcycles.

Looking at the cars, I realize that at this time of day, it’s going to take me forever to get over to the hospital during this traffic. The motorcycle might not be the safest, but it’s going to be the fastest, and I need to be responsible…but does being responsible always mean doing the safest thing? I don’t think so, and I walk over to the bike.

I start the bike, not even bothering to put on a helmet, since I don’t have one down here with me. I’m not wearing any protective gear at all, and as I exit the garage, the wind is already cold and I’m not even moving fast yet.

This might be a bad idea, I think to myself, as I shift gears and merge into traffic.

But the cold wind and the potential danger of a crash isn’t enough to deter me from keeping Sarah safe, from making sure our baby is safe.

The thought that Sarah and I aren’t really talking really doesn’t enter my head yet…